我为喜剧狂（2006）

30 Rock S02E01

Part 4 June 7, 2022, 10:17 a.m.

我做了一晚上脑力风暴现在开始吧
Number one--kill Seinfeld.
第一条干掉seinfeld
Number two--kill Seinfeld, then kill myself.
第二条干掉seinfeld 然后干掉我自己
Number three--kill Seinfeld, flee to svenborgia, then kill myself.
第三干掉seinfeld 逃到斯文波其亚然后干掉我自己
Jack, I'm not having the best day either.
Jack我今天过得也不太顺
Number 70--
第70条
You seduce Seinfeld.
你来色♥诱♥seinfeld
Now, why is me seducing Seinfeld all the way at 70?
第70条才是让我去色♥诱♥?
Number 71--I fake a hurricane,
第71条我伪造出一场飓风
and all regularly scheduled programming is preempted.
而所有预定好的节目统统被挤掉
These are terrible ideas.
这都是可怕的主意
There are no bad ideas in brainstorming, lemon.
头脑风暴里没有坏主意 Lemon
I'm sure I'll come up with something at the 11th hour.
我敢肯定11点时我会拿出点象样的东西来
I always do,
一贯如此
'cause I'm just that good.
因为我就是这么厉害
It was on sale.
打折的
I'm mad at you, ken.
我生你气了 Ken
I seen the way you was lookin' at Seinfeld.
我看见你瞅seinfeld的眼神了
You used to look at me like that.
你向来都这么瞅我的才对
What, am I not a big enough star for you any
咋了我对你来说腕已经不够大了?
I am not even gonna dignify that with an answer.
我压根不会回答你
Especial I picked out all these throw pillows for in here,
特别是我挑选了这么多抱枕在这
and you didn't even notice!
而你甚至都没在意!
Hey, everyone.
嘿伙计们
I know what you're thinking.
我知道你们在想什么
How did I lose 25 pounds in one day?
我是如何在一天之内掉了25磅称的?
I didn't.
我没有
It's visual trickery.
这叫视觉欺骗
Drawing the eye up.
将视线拉长
Hey, Liz, you gotta see this.
嘿 Liz你得看看这个
Jenna looks bananas--
Jenna看起来疯了
Nope, the real crazy is in here.
不真正疯掉的在这块儿
Liz lost it.
Liz疯了
It was on sale.
这件是打折的
I thought you and Floyd broke up.
我以为你和Floyd分手了
We did, and I am doing great with it.
没错而我也处理得很好
I just bought a dress.
我不过是买♥♥了条裙子
Because, you know, I don't need society's permission to buy a white dress
要知道我买♥♥条白裙子没必要经过社会许可吧
I mean, who says this is a wedding dress anyway?
我是说谁说这是条婚纱了?
In Korea, they wear white to funerals.
在韩国人们还穿它出席葬礼呢
All right, uh,
好吧
I'm in charge now.
现在我接管这里
Everyone go home.
大家都回家
I'm not crazy, frank.
我没疯 Frank
I'm making a statement.
我要发表声明
That, if need be,
有必要的话
I will marry myself.
我将嫁给我自己
And I am not embarrassed that you guys are seeing me wearing this.
你们看我穿成这样并不会让我感到尴尬
So you're intending to wear that... all day.
所以你打算一整天都穿着它
Yeah, chocolate rain, maybe I am.
对巧克力雨也许我会的
Liz, um, Seinfeld's here,
Liz 呃 seinfeld来了
and jack's not ready for him.
Jack还没准备好见他
So you need to give him another tour.
所以你得和他再周♥旋♥一下
Wonderful.
好极了
Hello, Jerry.
你好 Jerry
Well, well, well.
哇哇哇
So you called that boyfriend.
你打给男朋友了?
Yes, I did.
是我打了
And it went well?
结果不错?
No, it didn't, Jer.
差远了 Jerry
A woman answered.
一个女人接的
Another woman already?
已经有女人了?
What did you say to her?
你怎么跟她说的?
I did a fake survey.
我假装做调查
You did the fake survey?
你假装做调查?
I know.
我知道
I'm not over it!
我还放不下
And now I'm wearing this!
我还穿着这个
What is the deal with my life?
我这辈子怎么了
Are you imitating me?
你是在模仿我?
No! This is what I sound like when I cry!
没我哭的时候就这样!
I think I'm a little insulted!
我觉得有点受辱
You're insulted?
你受辱?
I'm crying!
我在哭!
I got nothin'.
什么都没想到
Mr. Seinfeld's here.
Seinfeld先生来了
I got nothing.
什么都没想到
Oh, Jerry, wonderful.
噢 Jerry 很好
Please, come in, come in.
请进请进
Can I get you some water?
我能给你拿杯水吗?
No, thank you.
不谢谢
Would you like some tea,
你要茶吗?
some coffee, some ice coffee,
咖啡? 冰咖啡?
we have ice tea,
我们有冰爽茶
we have some juice--
还有果汁
All right, I'll just--
好了好了我只是
Gimme a water if that moves it along.
非要给就给杯水吧
Okay.
好的
Boy, have I got a presentation for you.
我给你做一个演示
This presentation is going to, uh,
这个演示
knock your socks off.
会令你如雷轰顶
Here, let me close ts window so we don't have any glare on the monitor.
把窗帘拉上这样就不会反光了
Ho weekend?
周末过得怎么样?
It's Thursday.
今天周四
Well, I mean last weekend.
我是说上个周末
It was very nice.
很不错
Can we just move this presentation along, please?
能不能赶快开始?
It's seinfeldvision.
Seinfeld之夜
I'm giving America...
我将带给观众
the programs they like...
他们喜欢的节目
with a star that they love.
和他们喜欢的巨星
For one... incredible month...
为期...一个月
of television.
电视史上
What the hell are you doing?
你搞什么?
God--oh, god, Jerry!
上帝噢Jerry
I got nothing!
我没办法
I got nothing!
我没办法
You've got to do this for me, please!
请务必帮帮我求你了!
Oh, god, I've already sold the ad time!
天哪广♥告♥时段都已经卖♥♥出去了
What is wrong with you people?
你们这些人怎么搞得
What's happened to this network?
这个电视台到底怎么了?
Call off your goons!
让小喽罗走远点!
All right, Kenneth.
好吧 Kenneth
All right, listen, Seinfeld.
好吧听着 Seinfeld
I'll give you $1 million and five free commercials for your animated feature bee movie,
我会给你一百万 5个免费广♥告♥ 宣传你的"蜜蜂总动员"
and you let me run this for one week.
你让我再播一星期
2 million to the charity of my choice,
2百万任我选一家慈善机构
ten free commercials for bee movie,
10个免费广♥告♥宣传"蜜蜂总动员"
opening November 2nd,
11月2日开始
and I do nothing.
我什么都不用做
You let me run seinfeldvision for three nigh
你让我播3个晚上
I'll give you $1.5 million or the charity of your choice,
给你一百五十万或者以你名义捐
unlimited free promotions on the today show,
Today show节目任你推广电影
and you give me the name of that country you went to.
你说出你度假的国家名
One night.
一晚
Doctors without borders.
捐给"医生无国界组织"
Roker in a bee costume.
Roker要穿蜜蜂服 (Today show的主持之一)
Grenyarnia.
格林纳尼亚
Oh, god!
上帝!
Oh, no!
噢不
Did a Korean person die?