美猴王（2023）

很好 吓得我发抖了
Oh yeah. Great. You're giving me chills.
我是王 让开
King here! Coming through!
让开
Make way.
下一个 解脱书
Next! Release form.
你把一只活鸡带到了冥府
You brought a live chicken to the underworld?
不许有活物
No living things allowed!
我们真的该走了
We really should go now.
边看边学 小石子
Watch and learn, Pebble.
糟了
Oh no.
好多了 无限痛苦地狱 右边第四层 下一个
That's better. Pit of Infinite Agony. Fourth floor on your right. Next!
早上好
Yes, good morning.
我想看一眼生死簿
I'd like a quick glance at the Life and Death Scrolls.
先给我授权书
Release form first.
在我的另一个盔甲里
It's in my other armor?
拒绝
Rejected!
授权书 -回到活人的世界
Release form. -Back to the world of the living.
没那么快
Not so fast.
作为我的助理 你的第一个任务
As my assistant, your first duty…
就是做出牺牲
…is to be the sacrificial lamb.
猴子 -她还活着 在地府
What are you doing? -She's alive? Here in hell?
什么 -你还活着
What? -You're alive!
大丑闻
How scandalous!
而且你还插队
And you cut in front of all these people?
什么 -不许有活物
What? -No living things allowed!
猴子 我不是…
Oh, Monkey! Uh, uh, I… I'm not…
我死透了 这是新鲜的尸体
I couldn't be more dead. Fresh corpse here.
你是怎么死的
How did you die?
老死的 不 我是说坏血病 地震
Old age. No, I mean scurvy. Earthquake?
决斗 两场决斗
A duel. Two duels.
故事是这样的
Here's the story.
我从悬崖上掉进一个满是鲨鱼的洞里
I fell… off a cliff into a hole filled with sharks.
狂暴的鲨鱼
Rabid sharks.
然后一栋房♥子掉在我身上
And then a house fell on me,
我就淹死了 对
and I drowned. Yeah.
好 你可以进来
Okay, you're in.
离奇死亡倒霉鬼地狱
Chamber of Ridiculous Deaths.
穿过走廊第五层
Fifth floor down the hall.
下一个
Next!
好家伙
What a guy.
喂
Hey!
猴子 你在地府抛弃了我
Monkey! You abandoned me in the middle of hell.
你不能丢下队友
You don't leave a teammate behind.
队友 你是助理 微不足道的小石子
What teammate? You're an assistant. An insignificant pebble.
别那样叫我 -当然
Stop calling me that. -Absolutely.
只要你能找到我的卷轴 让我把名字划掉 走吧
As soon as you find my scroll so I can cross my name off. Come on.
不会很久的
This shouldn't take long.
什么
What?
开始读吧
Get reading.
你姓什么 -没姓 我是石头里蹦出来的
What's your family name? Don't have one. I was born from a rock.
石头
A rock?
更像是个石头蛋 卷轴上列着家族史
More of a rock egg. The scrolls list your family history.
我一定有父母 对吧
I must have parents, right?
我猜吧
Well, I guess.
大家都有
Everyone does.
在找你的卷轴吗
Ha! Looking for your scrolls?
我的卷轴 他为什么会有我的卷轴
My scroll? Why does he have my scroll?
你不属于这里 闯入者
You don't belong here, outsiders.
是时候打败第101个妖怪…
Oh ho! Time to defeat demon 101.
大笔刷 毁灭之印
Mighty brush! Stamp of doom!
打开
Open! Hyah!
别让他跑了
Don't let them get away! - Capture them!
拦下猴子
Stop the monkey!
…到115
Through 115.
克隆
Clones, eh?
我可以 真的吗 酷
I can? Really? Cool!
美猴王所向披靡
Monkey King reigns supreme!
放马过来
Bring it!
别拽我胡子
Not the beard!
下一个
Next!
少林足球
Shaolin soccer!
等等 暂停 这跟我没关系 -没人能旁观
Wait! Time-out. I'm not a part of this. -Nobody's on the bench!
抓住她 -蹲下 小子
Get her! - Duck!
找到了
Got 'em.
猴子 我拿到了 这是我的
Monkey, I got 'em. This one's mine. Huh?
喂 别拿你的
Hey! Not yours!
怎么说我家人的
What's it say about my family?
上面写
It says
你没有家人
you don't have one.
我孤身一人
Oh. I'm all alone?
对不起 猴子 -也就是说…
I'm sorry, Monkey. Which means--
我是原创的
I'm an original!
独一无二
One of a kind!
给我卷轴 -倒数第三条
Give me that scroll. -Third line from the bottom.
离卷轴远一点 你个被跳蚤咬的低贱烦人 关
Step away from the scroll, you flea-bitten, mortal lowlife! Close!
快点
Come on!
拿到了
Got it.
太棒了
Yeah, baby!
美猴王
Monkey King!
她啊
Oh, her.
好痛
Ow! That hurt.
现在我永生了
And now I'm immortal!
对地府来说这也很糟糕
Even for hell, this is bad.
怎么了 阎王 我是不是该说 下面怎么了
What's up, Yama? Or should I say, what's down?
我恳求你的帮助 一个无赖的灵长类动物入侵地府…
I beseech you. A rogue primate has invaded hell and-- Ow!
嘿 是玉皇大帝吧 好消息
Hey, uh, Jade Emperor, right? Listen, great news.
召集仙人 我在路上了 我们要做邻居了
Get the Immortal Ones together. I'm on my way. We're gonna be neighbors.
你就是美猴王 -要在你的宴会大吃大喝了
So you're the Monkey King. Gonna party at your banquets.
大醉一场 -授权书
Get hammered. -Release form!
我们可以分享战斗故事 -拜托 我们不是一路人
We're gonna share battle stories. -Please. You're not one of us.
我们是 我把名字都划掉了
Actually, I am. Crossed my name out and everything.
那只会让你变成半仙
That only makes you half-immortal.
半 -你不会老死
Half? -You can't die of old age.
太棒了
Oh, that's great!
但你还是可以战死
But you can still die in battle.
别看我 这是你的计划
Don't look at me. This was your plan.
这是新信息
Well, this is new information.
那我要怎么得到永生
So, how exactly does one get full immortality?
不行 不可能的
You don't. Not possible.
有一本《永生秘籍》 玉帝大人
Well, there is The Book of Everlasting Life, my lord.
你现在就把胡子洞关上 -我错了
You shut your beard hole right now! -My bad.
金箍棒 门
Stick, door!
助理 秘籍 猴子 一定要帅
Assistant, book! Monkey, stay handsome.
不管怎样 别让他拿到那本秘籍
Whatever you do, don't let him leave with that book!
走吧
Let's go.
糟糕
Uh-oh.
让开
Make way!
抓住他
Catch him! Catch him!
不 猴子
No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Monkey!
真好玩 你拿到秘籍了吗
Ha! Well, that was fun. You got the book?
你没丢吧
You didn't lose it, did you?
你只有一个任务
You had one job!
一个任务都搞砸了
One job and you blew it!
逗你玩的 -你就这样对你朋友
Just messing with you! -Do you treat all your friends like this?
“朋友” 你更像是重要任务的一个队友
Friends? Whoa, okay. You're more like a teammate on my very critical mission.
比小石子强些
Well, that's better than a pebble.
好了 继续 看到了吗
All right. Moving on. See this?
这本秘籍能告诉我们如何得到永生
This book can tell us how I can get my full immortality.
上面写了什么 -好吧 上面写…
What's it say? Okay. Uh, it says…
“完全的永生可以通过
"Full immortality can be attained by eating a magical peach
吃蟠桃园的桃子而得到”
from the Enchanted Orchard of Everlasting Life."