几千年来
For thousands of years,
如来佛祖掌管着全宇宙
Buddha oversaw the universe.
天庭众仙
And the Immortal Ones in heaven
和地府阎王
and kings in hell
掌管着人间事务
watched over earthly affairs.
妖怪在我们中间游走
Demons walked among us,
龙统治海洋
and dragons ruled the sea.
一切都很平衡
Everything was in balance.
我们尊重神仙 遵守规定
We respected the gods, and we followed the rules
直到那晚 一颗有魔力的石头里
until the night a magical rock
蹦出了一个强大的生物
gave birth to a powerful being.
麻烦
Meet
来了
trouble.
好
Okay, okay.
大家注意
Attention, everyone.
我们有重要的事情要谈
We have important business to discuss.
我 堂堂玉皇大帝
I, your Jade Emperor,
宇宙构建者 众仙之首
Architect of the Universe and Lord of the Immortals,
将举办自上周二的宴会起
shall throw the greatest, most fantastic banquet
最盛大奢华的宴会
since the one we did last Tuesday.
听起来很有意思吧
Doesn't that sound fun, hmm?
明白了 殿下
Understood, Your Majesty.
现在宣布座位安排
Now, seating arrangements.
众仙家坐在头桌
Place the Immortal Ones at my head table.
小仙坐在后面的厨房♥旁边…
Minor gods by the kitchen in the back--
什么东西
What on Earth?
一只失控的猴子用眼睛发射光线
Hm, an uncontrollable monkey shooting light beams from his eyes?
他可能只是太兴奋了
He's probably just excited, Your Majesty.
不能让他得逞 除掉他
We can't have that. Get rid of him.
慢着
Patience.
佛祖 我没看到你
Buddha! I didn't see you there.
这猴子是个强大的生物
This monkey is a powerful being.
他背负着重要的使命
He has an important destiny.
让他找到自己的路
Let him find his way.
很好
Very well.
他能荒唐到哪儿去呢
I mean, what's the worst it can do, right?
我们说到哪了 甜品
Where were we? Ah, dessert!
我考虑做一个我的蛋挞雕塑 要三米高
I'm thinking a ten-foot egg tart sculpture of me.
智慧的猴子不会做力所不能及的事
A wise monkey never stretches beyond his grasp.
你能放开吗
Will you let go?
我刚说到
As I was saying,
如果那个椰子注定是我们的
if the coconut is meant for us,
就一定能被我们够到
it will be within reach.
今天不行了
Not today.
越界了
Out of the light!
不
No, no, no, no!
这个世界没有规矩不成方圆
We live in a world of rules and order.
看好了
Observe.
把我的手掌想象成宇宙
Think of my palm as our universe.
和它的伟大相比
Compared with this greatness,
一只小猴子 不过是个微不足道的小石子
one little monkey is an insignificant pebble.
只有天上的神仙可以不遵守规矩
Only the Immortal Ones in heaven are free to live without rules.
守好本分 小家伙
Know your place, young one.
你给我回来
Come back here right this minute!
越界了
Out of the light!
回来
Come back!
快跑 妖怪来了
Run! The demon is here!
你的顽劣把灭绝魔王引来了
Your recklessness drew the Demon of Havoc upon us.
你不属于这里 野猴子
You don't belong here, outsider!
用椰子扔他
Coconut him.
好 想象中的家庭 给我一点爱
Ha ha! Okay, imaginary family, give me some love.
太慢了
Oh, too slow.
来 集♥合♥ 年轻人
Come. Gather 'round, young ones.
感受安全
Feel the safety.
感受你们的渺小
Feel your insignificance.
呼吸… -午睡时间结束
Breathe-- -Nap time's over!
又是你 -你们有危险 跟着我…
You again? - You're in danger! Follow me and--
我以为结果会不同
I, uh, thought that would play out differently.
来啊 它逃跑了
Come on! It's getting away!
你个笨蛋 你以为自己是英雄吗
You fool! You think you're some kind of hero?
但我可以打败那家伙
But I can beat that thing.
然后救回宝宝
And save the baby?
当然 如果有时间的话
Sure. If there's time.
用什么打败他 椰子
With what? Coconuts?
椰子对灭绝魔王构不成威胁
Coconuts are no threat to the Demon of Havoc.
他可以拿个武器 -从哪里拿
He could get a weapon. -Ha. From where?
我知道了 从龙王那儿
Oh, oh, I know! From the Dragon King.
对哦 龙王
Yeah, the Dragon King.
在海底
At the bottom of the sea?
如果你去那儿 你会死的
If you go out there, you will die.
这是你说的
Says you.
疯狂的傻子
Crazy fool!
武器马上就到
One weapon coming right up.
上台吧
Coming to the stage,
掌声有请…
let's give it up for…
优雅的爬行动物
The reptile of style.
水中霸主
The overboard overlord.
有着最甜美声音的…
With the sweetest vocal cords.
龙王殿下
The Dragon King!
我忠实的臣民
My loyal subjects…
这根巨大的柱子 自开天辟地以来就伫立于此
this grand column has stood here since the dawn of time.
它耐心地等待着最强大 最凶猛
It has waited patiently for the mightiest, fiercest rebel
最有型的反叛者
with the best style, of course,
来释放它无穷的潜力
to free its monumental potential.
那个反叛者就是我
That rebel is me!
我美轮美奂的底座 将释放擎天柱的力量
My gorgeous machine will unleash the column's power
掀起有史以来最大的暴风雨
to create the greatest storm the world has ever seen.
哇
Wow!
你会说话
You talk?
你一直在等我 等了多久了
You've been waiting for me? How long?
五分钟不是…
Well, five minutes isn't--
五千年
Five thousand years?
海洋生物 被呼吸空气的陆栖动物看不起的日子
The days when sea creatures are looked down upon
已经过去了
by those air-breathing dry-landers are over!
你在寻找最强大的生物吗
You're looking for the most powerful being?
不是吧 我正在寻找一件终极武器
No way! I'm actually on a quest for the ultimate weapon!
这也太巧了吧
What are the odds, man?
我们肯定能帮到彼此
There's gotta be some way we can help each other.
如果你能变小一点 也许我可以…
If you were just a little smaller, maybe I could--
开启我们的征程吧
Let our conquest begin!
首先 献歌♥一曲 五 六 七 起
But first, a song. And five, six, seven, eight!
这是节目安排吗
Whoa! -Is this part of the show?
怎么回事
What is happening?
小心
Look out!
有人在偷擎天柱 那是只猴子吗
Someone's stealing the grand column! Is that a monkey?
你太不可思议了
You are incredible!
不好意思 殿下 可是… -闭嘴 我要打个电♥话♥
Excuse me, sire, but-- - Zip it. I have a call to make.
我要求伸张正义
I demand satisfaction.
是你 什么事 我很忙
Oh, it's you. What is it? I'm busy.
一只猴子偷了我的擎天柱
A monkey stole my grand column.
所以呢
So?
所以 那柱子可能会被人利用 做很多恶事
So? Someone could do a lot of damage with that thing. Theoretically.
你是国王 你来处理 我相信你
You're a king. You handle it. I believe in you.
也许你可以把这件事 上报到“老大”那儿
Perhaps you could escalate this to the big guy? Delegate up?
我们听听 “亲爱的佛祖
Ah, let's see. "Dear Buddha."
还记得你说别管他的那只石猴吗
"Remember that stone monkey you said to leave alone?"
他拿了根棍子 我们好害怕 请救救我们”
"Well, it took a stick. We're all scared. Please save us."
不 不可能的
No. Not happening.
很好 那我就自作主张了 准备好受死…
Very well. I shall take things into my own claws, and woe to those that--
所以最强大凶猛有型的反叛者
So it's the monkey who's the mightiest, fiercest rebel.