心碎度蜜月

Even if it takes forever! Am I right,
听着 你这婆婆妈妈的小老外
Listen, you little gringo pussy,
整整两个星期你都在拿这破事烦我
you've been ear-fucking me for two straight weeks
听得我耳朵都起茧子了
about all this shit?
你要弥补你犯的错吗
You wanna fix what you did,
别再空口说白话了 去做吧
Stop talking about it, just do it?
马上动身 去做
Get off your ass and do it?
曼努埃尔说得对 艾迪先生
Manuel is right, Senor Eddie!
你想回去亲自挽回这件事吧
You are going to have to go back and fix this yourself,
那就来吧
okay, Now, come on!
-起来 -我不行
-Get up? -Can't!
你行的 来吧 听我说
You can do it, come on? Listen!
我有些门路
I have connections! You know,
能把你偷偷送进加利福尼亚去
people that can sneak you back into California!
你不是开玩笑吧
You're not joking,
没有 我保证 这次不是开玩笑
No, I promise! I'm not kidding this time!
-好 好 好 好 -对
-Okay, good! Good, good! -Yes?
不过我不要去加利福尼亚 我要去密西西比
But I don't wanna go to California! I wanna go to Mississippi!
别忙 别忙 哥们
It's cool? It's cool, guys?
我是美国人 只是把护照弄丢了
I'm an American! I just lost my passport!
美国
America?
站那儿别动
Stop right there?
我是美国人
I'm an American?
祝你好运 艾迪
希望你找到你的姑娘
谢谢 卡洛斯
别担心你的儿子
要是他想学跳舞
就让他去学吧
你这话可不太顺耳
不过良药苦口嘛
-来吧 抓住他的手 -你行的
-Come on, grab his hand? -You can do it?
加油 伙计
Come on, buddy?
加油 抓住
Come on? Grab it?
密西西比州 牛津市
我查了这里的一些记录 艾迪
I'm going on the record here, Eddie!
我觉得这主意真是糟透了
I think this is a bad, bad idea!
听我说老爸 你能来帮忙 我很感激
Look, Pop, I appreciate your coming down here and helping me out!
只不过这件事我一定要去做 明白吗
This is just something that I have to do, okay,
我还是不明白你和莱拉之间出了什么事
I still don't understand what happened with you and Lila!
她是多好的孩子
She was such a sweet kid!
爸爸 我爱米兰达 明白吗
Dad, I love Miranda, okay,
这辈子没有别的事能让我更坚定了
I've never been more sure of anything in my life!
好吧 艾迪
All right, Eddie!
不过要小心点 好吗
Just be careful, okay,
记住 这里住的都是原教旨主义信徒
Remember, this is the Bible Belt!
这些人都有枪的
These people have guns!
这是这里了 停 停
This is it, right here? Stop? Stop?
你看是不是应该刮个脸 洗洗啥的
Don't you think we should clean you up or give you a shave or something,
不用 我已经为这套说辞准备一个多月了
No! Look! I've been working on this speech for over a month!
我现在只想进去干完它
I just want to go in and do it!
摆平他们
Knock 'em dead?
老标
连投七个时速90英里以上的球 那小子真有一套
Seven pitches in a row over 90 miles an hour, That boy hums that ball?
老标 瞧瞧是哪个叫花子来了
Byoo? Look what the cat dragged in?
我明白 你别问 米兰达在吗
I know, don't ask! Is Miranda around,
-你肯定是疯了 -没有 我没疯
-You must be out of your mind! -Well, no, I'm not!
上帝 为什么我见到这个弱智站在这里却一点不吃惊
Oh, my God? Why am I not surprised that this moron's standing out here,
没什么 我不想惹麻烦 马丁
It's all right! Look, I don't want any trouble, Martin!
你不想惹麻烦 麻烦马上就要来惹你了 小子
Oh, you don't want any trouble, You're about to get some trouble, boy?
你最好从我家门前滚开你这混帐东西
You better get off my stoop? You piece of shit?
真是让人耳目一新的真诚反应
That is a refreshingly honest response!
让我也回敬你一些吧
And let me just drop some of that back on you,
我还要告诉你我犯了个大错误 我有罪
and tell you I made a huge mistake, okay, Guilty! Boom!
我在关键时候陷进去了
I stepped in it, big-time!
我承认 好吗
And I admit it, okay,
我结婚太快了
I jumped into a marriage way too quickly!
我跟我老婆只认识了几个月就结婚了
I only knew my wife for a couple months before we got married, okay,
这就是以前的故事
So that's the back story!
那么你从认识米兰达到认定她是
And how long did you know Miranda
理想伴侣又用了多久呢
before you decided she was the one,
两天 我知道你的意思
Two days, and I hear that!
让我这么对你说吧 我有我的道理
Let me just say to you, "That's my point!"
我不想再犯同样的错误了 明白吗
I'm not gonna make the same mistake again, okay,
你们可以放一百个心 我已经做好计划了
You can rest assured, I have got my act together!
一旦完成离婚手续
And once my annulment is finalized,
我相信米兰达和我会慢慢来的
I really believe that Miranda and I should just go slow!
我是说 先约会一段时间
I mean, you know, date for a while!
一起住上至少一年吧
Move in together for like a year, at least!
先看看感觉怎样 然后再继续 不做什么承诺
See what it feels like, then go from there, okay, No promises!
-真的 -这一次我要把所有事都做对
-Really, -I wanna do everything right this time!
没有这一次了 艾迪 生米已经煮成熟饭了
There ain't gonna be a "this time, "Eddie! The popcorn has popped!
米兰达和卡尔在上上个星期的 星期六结婚了
Miranda and Cal got married two weeks ago Saturday!
什么
What,
你们说什么
What're you talking about,
她终于醒悟了
She has finally come to her senses!
我不相信你的话
I don't believe you!
-你最好相信 -艾迪
-Oh, you better believe it! -Eddie!
-我不相信你的话 -艾迪
-I don't believe you! -Eddie!
是真的
It's true!
他们结婚了
They got married,
我能不能 至少让我和她当面谈谈
Well, can I At least, can I talk to her in person!
-不 不准 明白 -马丁 马丁 冷静点
-No, you cannot, all right, -Martin? Martin? Calm down?
不许你靠近米兰达一步 明白吗
You will stay the hell away from Miranda, okay,
否则我一拳打穿你的脸
I'm gonna put my fist through your face?
我要把两只拳头都用上
I'll put both of my fists through your face?
我很冷静 很冷静 你抓得我太紧了
I'm calm? I'm calm? I'm being calm! You're holding me too tight?
别说了 艾迪
Stop it! Eddie!
-别激动 孩子 -我很好
-Take it easy, boy! -I'm fine!
听我说 我们请你尊重米兰达和卡尔的隐私
Now, look, we ask you to respectMiranda and Cal's privacy!
让那两个孩子有机会开心开心
Give those kids a chance to be happy!
要是你在意米兰达这就是你应该做的
If you care about Miranda, that's what you'll do!
好吧 贝里尔
Okay, Beryl!
我会的
I will!
米兰达
Miranda?
没事
It's okay?
是我 我是艾迪
It's me! It's just Eddie!
你疯了吗
Are you crazy,
这是发疯
This is crazy?
-你来这里到底要干什么 -没事 没事
-What the hell are you doing here, -It's okay, it's okay!
贝里尔告诉我你结婚了 我只想和你谈谈
Beryl told me you got married! I just wanted to talk to you!
我老公就睡在我旁边 你看见没有
This is my husband sleeping right next to me! Do you see that,
是 我看见了
Yes, I do!
现在做这种事不是时候 也不是地方
This is not the time or the place to do this?
求你了 求你了 我会小点声的
Please, please! Look, I'll keep it quiet!
我不会闹 你只要听我说
I'll be cool! Just hear me out!
不行 我不想听你说 这是发昏
No? I am not going to hear you out? This is insane?
我求求你 你不知道我为了来这里吃了多少苦
I'm begging you? You don't know what I've been through to get here!
求你了 听我说就好
Please, just hear me out!
你只有一分钟 快说
You got one minute! Go!
好 首先 我非常抱歉
Okay, look! First of all, I'm so sorry
因为我没有告诉你我结婚了
I didn't tell you I was married!
其实我有好几次想告诉你
See, I tried to tell you a couple of times,
可是总被别的事打断
but we kept on getting interrupted!
然后 我们又闹了那么大的误会
And then there was this sort of classic misunderstanding
让你以为我的老婆被杀了
about my wife being murdered!
总之 关键在于
Anyway, the point is.
不 关键在于 无论你是不是想告诉我
No? The point is, whether you tried to tell me or not,
你毕竟是在度蜜月的时候勾引我
you tried to pick me upon your honeymoon?
你知道这有多恶心
Do you know how creepy that is,
是 我懂 我懂 这很不道德
Yes, I do! I do! It's repulsive,
我应该好好向你道歉
and I owe you a massive apology!
可是 从另一方面说 出了这样的事我很高兴
But, on the other hand, I'm glad it happened!
你瞧 这不是我的错 上天喜欢搞这样奇妙的安排
Look, it's not my fault the Lord works in mysterious ways!
所以说 没错 我是犯了浑 我早结婚一个星期
And so, yeah, I screwed up, okay, I got married a week too early!
可是你知道吗 我一点都不想重来