心碎度蜜月

宝贝 我把你的蜜月毁了 真对不起
Honey, I'm sorry for ruining our honeymoon!
我这个老婆当得真烂
I'm such a sucky wife!
不 宝贝 你没有
No, honey, you're not!
你太棒了 你又漂亮 又迷人
You're great! You're an amazing, beautiful person!
不过 我确实觉得我们应该谈谈
However, I do think we should talk!
等一下 我有东西要给你
Hold on! I have something for you!
我很喜欢 谢谢
I love that! Thank you!
总之 我一直在想
So anyway, I've been thinking
宝贝 把它翻过来
Honey, turn it over!
世界上最伟大的丈夫
这是你做的
Did you make this,
在我们出发前
Before we left!
你做的
You made this,
-这是你亲手绣的 -对
-You sewed this yourself, -Yeah!
还有这些心
And the hearts,
你的心和我的心
Your heart and my heart,
心心相连
together
永不分离
forever!
对了 宝贝 你要和我说什么
So, honey, what did you wanna talk to me about,
现在我什么也不想和你说
I want to talk to you about nothing right now!
我要你好好休息 明天早上我们再谈 好吗
I want you to get some rest and we'll talk in the morning, okay,
亲我一下
Give me a kiss!
好
Okay!
艾迪熊 我爱你
Eddie Bear, I love you!
我爱 爱 爱 爱 爱 爱
I love, love, love, love, love!
爱 爱 爱
Love, love, love!
-好 -好
-Okay! -Okay!
那么 你要和我说的是什么要紧事情
So, what's this important stuff you wanted to talk to me about,
对 对
Yeah, okay!
天哪
Oh, my God?
这鳄梨酱太好吃了
This guac is fucking awesome?
是吗 那很好 很好
Is it, That's good! Good!
你的手 艾迪
Your hand, Eddie!
你看 我只是想把事情挑明了
Look, I'm just gonna lay this out there, all right,
我这个丈夫没有当好 我做得很糟
I have not been a good husband! I've been bad!
听你这么说我真是太高兴了 艾迪
I am so glad to hear you say that, Eddie!
我是说 我觉得自己快忍♥不住了
I mean, I thought I was losing my mind!
好像自从我们结婚起
It's like the moment we got married,
就有个开关关掉了 然后你就像中了邪一样
a switch went off and you became this loony bird!
对 对 你说得对
Yes? Yes, you're right?
我确实变得我确实像中了邪一样
I did turn into! I've been a loony bird,
问题不在你身上 在我身上
and it's not you, it's me!
现在要说的就是我的缺点
This conversation is all about my deficiencies,
因为你这个妻子做得恰到好处 你真是太棒了
because as a wife you've been spot-on! You've been incredible!
一个妻子应该做的事你都做了
You've been doing everything a wife should do,
任何男人有你这样的老婆都该高兴的
and any man would be happy to have a wife like you,
你还忍♥受了我和我的所有缺点
and kudos to you for putting up with me
真该得到赞美
and all of my junk!
谢谢
Thank you!
但问题是 宝贝 你不该对你的丈夫逆来顺受
But the point is, honey, you shouldn't have to put up with your husband!
你该得到好得多的待遇 你明白我说的话吗
You deserve so much better! You understand what I'm saying,
对 你在道歉 真是温馨呢
Yeah, you're apologizing! That's very sweet!
不 不 我不是我不是
No! No, I'm not! I'm not
天哪 那该死的玩意太热了
Oh, God, that frigging stuff is hot!
宝贝 你瞧
Honey, look
人生在世 有时候
In life, sometimes!
有时候我们会做些选择
Sometimes we make choices,
回头一想 我们又会明白那些选择不正确
and in retrospect, we realize the choice wasn't the right choice!
这种选择没有好坏之分
Not a bad choice, not a good choice,
只是对当事人来说不正确
just not the correct choice for the people who are involved!
艾迪 你想说什么
What are you getting at, Eddie,
莱拉
Lila,
我们在旧金山一起生活是不会快乐的
we're not gonna be happy together in San Francisco!
鹿特丹 那才是你该去的地方 我想到了
Rotterdam? That's where you gotta be! It hit me?
那是你命中注定的地方
That's where your destiny is!
去清理沼泽
Cleaning up the bogs,
改善那里的环境
and getting the environment right over there!
那才是你该做的事
That's what you should be doing,
而不是呆在旧金山 跟我这种卖♥♥体育器材的傻瓜混日子
not hanging out in San Francisco with me, some sporting-goods schmo!
上帝
Oh, my God?
你真是这个意思吗
Are you saying what I think you're saying,
我的意思是
I'm saying!
莱拉
Lila,
这是好事 莱拉
This is gonna be a good thing, Lila!
莱拉 这样更好 是为了
Lila, it's better! It's for the!
莱拉 你那里有一片烤牛肉漏出来了
Lila, you got a little piece of tri-tip coming out here!
这样做是最好的 你听明白了吗
This is so for the best! Do you hear me,
我可以给我妈妈打电♥话♥吗
Can I call my mom,
当然可以 你要给她打电♥话♥ 那就快打吧
Yes, of course? You wanna call her, go ahead, call her!
-儿子 -妈 是我
-Hello, -Mom, it's me!
不 不 我很好 只是
No, no, I'm okay! It's just!
出了一些事
Something's happened!
是大事
Something huge!
艾迪要和我一起搬到鹿特丹去
Eddie's moving to Rotterdam with me!
不 不 等一下 莱拉 不对
No, no, wait? No, Lila, no!
他不想再当卖♥♥体育器材的傻瓜了
He doesn't wanna bea sporting-goods schmo anymore?
等一等 他要亲口和你说
Hold on, he wants to tell you himself!
我不是要
I didn't want! Hello,
艾迪 你过得开心吗
Hey, Eddie? You having fun,
开心 开心 我们正在狂欢
Yeah, yeah, we're having a ball!
我听说你要搬到德国去
And I hear you're moving to Germany,
不是 不是
No, no!
是这样 莱拉有点自作主张了
See, Lila got a little bit ahead of herself on that one,
我其实还没有把整个计划告诉她 可是她
and I haven't actually gotten through the entire plan with her, but she!
你知道吗 我要走了
You know what, I gotta go!
我要和你说再见 好吗
I gotta say goodbye, okay,
-好的 好 -爱你 再见
-Okay! Yes! -Love you? Bye?
他是最棒的人 对吗
-Hey? -Isn't he the greatest,
怎么回事
What's that,
我知道 我知道
I know! I know!
-你们好吗 -说实话 不是太好
-How you guys doing, -Not too good, actually!
贝里尔和老布要在阳台上重新发誓
Beryl and Boo are set to renew their vows on the terrace
可是我们到处都找不到米兰达
and we can't find Miranda anywhere!
你看见她没有
Have you seen her,
等一下 宝贝 米兰达是谁
Hang on! Honey, who's Miranda,
米兰达 宝贝 是他们的堂妹 他们的堂妹
Miranda, honey, is their cousin! Their cousin!
跟你说 我要失陪一会儿 过来
You know what, Excuse me for one second! Come here!
对不起 妈妈 对 不
Sorry, Mom! Yeah, no!
我不知道 就是几个人
I don't know! Just some guys!
哥们 哥们 你们在干什么 你们要把我害死了
Guys? Guys? What are you doing, You're killing me here!
怎么了 这是怎么回事
What is this, What's going on,
你瞧 马丁 我知道你对
Look, Martin, I know you're upset about this whole thing
卡尔 米兰达和我的事很不高兴
with Cal, Miranda and me!
我们总有一天会找个地方好好谈谈的 但是现在不行
But there'll be a time and a place we can talk about it, but not now!
我正要和她说呢
I'm about to tell her!
那人是谁
Who is that,
我老婆
It's my wife?
老婆
Wife,
哥们怎么了 像吸了迷幻药一样 是我 我是艾迪
Guys, what are you, like, snortingpeyote, Come on, it's me! It's Eddie!
-可是你老婆被谋杀了 -什么
-But your wife was murdered! -What,
那对双胞胎
Those twins!
他们说你老婆被一个疯子用碎冰锥杀了
They said that your wife was murderedby a maniac with an ice pick!
不 不 不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no!
听我说 哥们 你们只要知道这一点
Look, you guys, all you have to know
从我爱上米兰达的第一秒开始
is that from the secondI fell in love with Miranda,
我一次都没有在我老婆的问题上 对她撒谎 明白
I have not once cheated on her with my wife, okay,
我可不是在吹牛 只是
And I'm not saying that to toot my own horn, it's just!
-我真的还没有 -你这小流氓
-I really haven't! -You sick little prick?
-马丁 马丁 -过来
-Martin? Martin? -Come here!
-别 住手 -来 尝尝这个
-No, stop? -Here, take this!
你们在干什么