心碎度蜜月

Hey, here's something to do!
双层观光巴士去一个叫米拉弗洛雷斯的镇子
There's a double-decker bus running tours out to a town called Miraflores!
它是墨西哥的罗勒之都
It's the basil capital of Mexico!
让我看看
Let me see that!
-你说的是圆饼之都 -不
-Did you say "bagel capital", -No!
我一直想知道他们是怎么种植和采摘罗勒的 太棒了
I've always wondered how they cultivate and harvest basil That'd be great!
我也是 不 是一种香草
Me, too! Education! No, it's a herb!
香草 意大利香草
It's a herb! Italian herb!
她每次做饭都会放很多
She puts it on a lot of the food she cooks!
我什么都放
Everything!
-什么都放 我喜欢香蒜沙司 -好吃极了
-Oh, everything! I love it! Pesto! -It's delicious!
-辣么 -不 不辣
-Is it spicy, -No, it's not spicy!
你可以要一大盒
You can order a whole box of it!
提托大叔会搞定一切的 放心
Uncle Tito will take care of everything! Okay!
听着 我需要你帮个大忙
Hey! Listen, Tito, I need you to do me a big, big favor!
300比索
300 pesos!
你还不知道我要你干啥呢
You don't even know what it is yet!
肯定不是好事 不然你自己会做
It is something nasty, or you would be doing it yourself!
好吧
All right, fine!
亲爱的 是你么
Honey, Is that you,
好 我打开门 你递给我
Good! I'll open the door, and you slide it in!
谢谢你
Thank you!
谢谢 来点辣酱
Thanks! Okay! A little bit of salsa!
能吃辣么
Are you okay,
它一直咬我
But he keeps nipping at me!
墨西哥传统民间舞
我的天
Oh, my God!
爽
Good!
麦克 听着 哥们我欠你的 这地方
Hey, Mac? Listen, man, I owe you, buddy! This place is like!
没有比这更好的地方了
This is like my favorite place ever?
我说过你会喜欢的
I told you you'd love it!
还有人 这的人
And the people, the people down here?
老天 不错吧
Oh, my God, I know! Aren't they great,
我真觉得我该卖♥♥掉商店
I'm seriously thinking I should sell the store
在这开一个
and open up a place down here!
听起来难以置信吧
I mean, wouldn't that be incredible,
那么 莱拉怎么样
So, how's Lila,
-对不起 你是叫约阿基姆 -谁
-Oh, I'm sorry, your name's Joachim, -Who,
你妻子 莱拉
Your wife! Lila!
她不是太好 被太阳晒伤了 所以
She's not so good! She got a little sunburned, so!
我和另一个女孩出来逛的
I've been hanging out with this other girl!
是吗
Yeah!
等等 你说真的
Wait! What, are you serious,
离婚律师 你搞什么飞机
Divorce lawyer, What the hell are you talking about,
来一口
Do you get a buzz off it,
我跟你说 自从我们结婚开始 她就好像变了一个人
I'm telling you, the second we got married it's like a switch flipped!
她简直是个恶梦 麦克
She's a nightmare, Mac!
是女人都疯狂 你知道的
Yeah, well, bitches be crazy, man! You know that!
泰米也是
Tammy's always flipping switches!
你说什么呢
What are you talking about,
你不是总说和她一起很幸福么
You're always talking about how happy you are with her!
你想知道幸福婚姻的秘密 按我的做
Look, you wanna know the secret to a happy marriage, Do what I do!
强颜欢笑 再熬半个世纪
Plaster on a fake smile, plow through the next half-century,
坐好 放松 等着甜蜜的死亡来临
sit back, relax and wait for the sweet embrace of death!
-天哪 -屁♥股♥那怎么样
-Hey! Wow? -What about my hips,
-这呢 -不错 我很喜欢 很好看
-And my butt, -Great! I love it! Looks great!
你说哪
Where is it,
-回来 -好 马上来 阿尔方斯
-Come on back? -Yes? I'm coming, Alfons?
那么 那另一个姑娘 她不在乎你是刚结婚
So, this other girl! It doesn't bother her that you're a newlywed,
不 我还没和她说清楚 但我正打算说
No, I mean, I haven't exactly made it clear to her yet, but I'm going to!
只是要找合适的时机
I just have to find the right moment, you know,
艾迪 艾迪
Eddie! Eddie?
等一下
Hold on a second!
艾迪 来 海里面有海狮
Eddie? Come on, there are sea lions in the ocean?
真的 好 马上来
Really, Okay, hang on?
她发现海狮了 惊讶吧 我得走了
She found sea lions now, come on? Isn't that amazing, I gotta go?
不要 艾迪 该回家了 回家 回家 艾迪
Don't? Eddie, Eddie? Come home? Come home? Come home, Eddie?
今天真棒
Wow, what a great day!
我真的很高兴
I had so much fun!
-这是你的墨西哥阔边帽 -谢谢
Here are your Mexican sombreros!
看 你家人回来了
Look, the gang's back!
罗勒迷们
Basil sniffers!
好 我们快点
Okay, let's hurry up!
我们应该15分钟后到阳台和大家会合
We're supposed to meet everybody on the veranda in 15 minutes, right,
好 好 好的
Right, right! Okay, good!
爸爸
Hey, Dad!
这就是那个从旧金山来的男人 他老婆被谋杀了
There's the guy from San Francisco whose wife was murdered!
-哪呢 -就在那
-Where, -The guy right there!
对 被个疯子拿碎冰锥戳死的
Yeah, some crazy guy hacked her up with an ice pick!
他们抓住了那凶手叫罗纳德
They caught the dude, though! Some guy named Ronald!
宝贝
Hey, baby?
艾迪熊回来了 我还给你带了个故事
Eddie Bear's home? And boy, do I got a story for you!
希望如此 看起来你出去了一天
Well, I hope so, seeing that you've been gone all day!
亲爱的 猜猜发生了什么 我下去拿你的早餐
Honey! Guess what happened, I go downstairs to get your breakfast!
猜我碰见谁了
Who do I run into out of the clear blue,
-谁 -伊万·舒伊纳
-Who, -Yvon Chouinard?
谁
Who,
伊万·舒伊纳 巴塔哥尼亚公♥司♥的大人物
Yvon Chouinard, big cheese at Patagonia!
-然后 -然后
-And, -And,
亲爱的 巴塔哥尼亚公♥司♥是我最大的供应商
Come on, honey, Patagonia's like my biggest supplier!
我卖♥♥的都是他们的货 你知道的
I carry their entire line! You know that!
然后伊万和几个哥们要去打高尔夫 喝水么
So, Yvon and his buddies are going out golfing! Water,
-不要 -他们邀请我去
-No! -They ask me if I want to go!
我能怎么着 拒绝他 当然不能
So, what am I gonna do, Say no, No! Right,
但你没带球杆
But you didn't bring your clubs!
我借了一套 泰勒梅的
I demoed a set? TaylorMade?
也很好用 比我原来打的还远30码
Sweet, too? Added like 30 extra yards to my drives?
-那些哥们是谁 -就那谁
-Who were the buddies, -Just a couple of guys!
列尼 从阿克伦来的做保险的
This guy Lenny from Akron, insurance guy!
有点刻板 但是高尔夫打得不错
Kind of a stiff, but good golfer!
还有本地的巴塔哥尼亚销♥售♥代表
And the local Patagonia rep!
他叫什么
What was his name,
他叫六趾
His name was Six-toe!
-六趾 -对 六趾
-Six-toe, -Yeah, Six-toe!
曾经攀登珠穆朗玛峰结果被冻掉了四个脚趾
Amputee! Lost four toes scaling up Everest!
他是不带氧气登山的
Did it without oxygen! One of those guys!
不可思议 他给我看过 两边的脚趾还留着
By the way, amazingly, he showed me! Retained the outer toes,
中间的都截了 只留下平衡点
lost the middle stuff but kept the balance points,
只要留这点就够了
which are all you need!
实际上 他说这样挥杆更好
In fact, he says it gives him a better swing
因为直接挥过去
because he swings right through the ball,
阻力更少 神奇的家伙
less resistance! Fascinating guy!
艾迪 打高尔夫花了7个小时
Eddie, since when has golf taken seven hours,
我们跟在一对韩国夫妇后面 所以
Yeah, well, we got behind a Korean couple, so!
但我得说我确实得了好处
But I'll tell you, it actually worked to my advantage,
我们商量了商店的事
because we got to talk shop,
如果一切顺利的话
and if things pan out the way I think they might,
我们的商店能得到很好的赊销优♥惠♥
we could be talking about some really sweet credit terms for the store!
为什么你不给我打电♥话♥ 我一直担心你
Why didn't you call me, I've been worried sick about you!
亲爱的 我打了
Honey, I did?
只要你离开这地方一英里
You get a mile outside of this place,
信♥号♥♥就差得像在月球上
it's like trying to get reception on the moon?
你在干吗 又要去哪
What are you doing, Are you going somewhere,
莱拉 我刚跟你说5分钟后我有个饭局
Lila, I just told you, I'm taking them out to dinner in five minutes!
你多会说过
When did you say that,
好 首先这些人 让我解释给你听
Okay! First of all, these people! Let me explain something to you!
这些人 都是大人物 这机会你明白
These people, okay, they're primed! This opportunity! Do you understand,
都是大公♥司♥的老板们
This is the head of an incredibly important outerwear company!
国际大公♥司♥ 懂么
International, okay,
他们刚上钩
They have taken the bait, and now
我正要去把他们钓上船
I just gotta gaff 'em, get 'em in the boat