德州棉花（2018）

and that's about it right now.
得了吧 伙计！
Oh, come on, man!
-太荒谬了！-就是这样
-That's ridiculous! - Yeah.
让我看看你的搜查令吧 你这个租赁警♥察♥！
Let me see your search warrant then, rent-a-cop!
先生们 先生们
Whoa, whoa, gentlemen.
这是怎么回事？
What's going on here?
我得到消息说有人非法侵入
I gotta tip said somebody's trespassing,
看看我在这里找到了谁
and look who I found over here.
我不是非法侵入 老哥！
I'm not trespassing, man!
我发现了这个怪人
Yeah, yeah, I spot this weirdo.
-山克 -老哥
- Shanks. - Oh, man.
-拜托 -那可一点都不好
- Yeah. - Come on, that's not cool.
这个装置有点奇怪 他在喷什么东西！
This weirdo with this apparatus, and he's spraying things!
喷东西？
Spraying things?
是的
Yeah.
你怎么解释那车东西呢 先生？
And how do you explain that, mister?
那是我的工作要用的材料 老哥们
That's my work material, man.
这是我要用的啊
That's what I use.
你说你是做什么的 先生？
What'd you say you do, sir?
我是园艺学家
I'm a horticulturalist.
那他是瞎编的吗？
Is he making that up?
我和植物打交道 伙计们
I work with plants, guys.
哦 所以一个园艺学家和植物一起工作喽
Oh, so a horticalisist works with plants.
但是你在这个镇上做什么呢？
But what are you doing in this town?
我被雇来拯救你们土地的 伙计！
I was hired to save your farmland, man!
你们土地的pH值有大问题
You got real problems with your pH levels
在土壤构成上讲
in soil formations.
各种数值已经严重超标了！
The numbers are off the charts!
长官 如果我不赶紧喷洒作业
Sergeant, if I don't get busy spraying,
这个地方将会成为一片荒凉的不毛之地
this place is gonna be a desolated wasteland.
我正在尝试试拯救你们的庄稼 老哥！
I'm trying to save your crops, man!
但这个租赁警居然耽搁我做事！
And this rent-a-cop is holding me up!
哦 所以我是在耽搁您喽？
Oh, so I'm holding you up?
是啊
Yeah.
难道你还有更要紧的事情做么
Oh, so you got better things to do?
没错
Yeah.
所以你的意思是你要做的事情
Oh, so you got more important things
比跟警官对话还重要吗？
to do than talkin' to us?
我绝对有比跟你个傻子对话
I definitely got more important things
更重要的事情
to do than talking to you!
长官 我是想要帮助这个小镇
Sergeant, I'm trying to help this town.
你要去哪儿？
Hey, where do you think you're going?
-山克 -嘿 站住！
- Shanks. - Hey, hey!
-山克！-你以为
- Shanks! - Where do you
你跑的了吗
think you're going?
等一下 山克
Hold on, Shanks!
山克 等等
Shanks, hold on!
-站住！-卧♥槽♥
- Stop right there! - Whoa!
你给我滚开
Get off me, man!
哇！
Whoa!
山克 山克 你没事吧
Shanks, Shanks, are you okay?
你还好吗
Are you alright?
是的 我没事
Yeah, yeah.
他要跑了
He's gettin' away!
好了
Okay!
猫捉老鼠的游戏结束了
This little tour is over now.
你们俩都疯了
You guys are both crazy!
我告诉你 我没做错什么！
I'm tellin' ya, I didn't do nothin'!
我可不太确定
I'm not so sure about that.
不管那些桶里有什么 我们都会查出来的
Whatever's in those barrels, we're gonna find out!
我猜是那些东西是不合法的
My guess is the stuff's not legal.
我只是在做我的工作 好吗！
I was just doin' my job, man!
你得相信我
You gotta believe me.
我不知道那些东西是怎么来的
I never seen nothin' like that!
如果我没做错什么 你就不能逮捕我
You can't arrest me if I didn't do anything.
我们会在警♥察♥局里搞清楚这件事
We'll figure all that out down at the station.
现在出来吧
Now come on out!
哦！
Oh!
该死！
Shit!
拜托
Come on!
你得善待自己的东西
You gotta treat things with kindness
否则你什么都办不到
or you'll get nowhere.
你都不检查一下我的腿吗
You ain't even gonna check out my leg?
你的腿又没断
Your leg's not broken!
不是吧 伙计！
Come on, man!
看看它！
Look at it!
我听到它向后折的声音了！
I heard it bend backwards!
嘿
Hey!
市长的医疗福利最好能顶用
The mayor's benefits better kick in.
我的天哪 什么样的炸♥药♥有这种效果
My God, what kind of explosive does all that?
这很难说 先生
It's hard to tell, sir.
我得给犯罪实验室打个电♥话♥
I'm gonna have to call the crime lab.
不
No!
目前最好把消息封锁在本地
Uh, best keep it local for now.
反正我们也负担不起他们做测试的费用
Can't afford them tests anyway.
让我们先审问那家伙
Let's try to crack the sprayer first.
头儿 那人说他什么都没做
Chief, the sprayer said he didn't do anything.
那你是什么看法呢
Well, what would you say?
先生
Sir.
我们还没有处理
Oh, we haven't processed...
看样子这比竞技比赛里的缺腿小牛犊还糟糕
This looks worse than a one-legged calf at a rodeo.
现在是什么情况？
What do you know?
一切都在控制之中 市长
All under control, Mayor.
有一个穿着破烂的小伙子鬼鬼祟祟的喷洒东西
Uh, we had a scroungy lookin' fella sprayin' things.
喷洒东西？
Sprayin' things?
是的 你的保安 山克 抓到他非法侵入
Yes, your man, Shanks, caught him trespassin',
然后他开始就开始大喊大叫
and then he started yellin'
把这些蓝色的桶打爆了
and blew up one of these blue barrels.
该死
Damn.
看来我欠山克一顿午餐
Looks like I owe Shanks a little lunch.
你们说的那家伙在哪里？
Where is this sprayer of yours?
看起来没什么问题
Yeah, looks about right.
你们都认为这些桶里有什么？
Ah, what do you all think was in these barrels, hmm?
哦 我们不确定 先生
Oh, we're not sure, sir.
但我们正在努力查出这是什么
But we're working on it.
好吧 你们都是专家
Alright, well you all are the experts.
这样吧 你 有事请联♥系♥我
So, you, uh, keep me in the loop
如果你有新进展也联♥系♥我
and let me know if you learn anything else.
市长
Mayor.
非常感谢你们的尽职尽责
Thank you so much for your service.
我不会和你握手 因为如果我握的太紧
I'm not shaking your hand because if I squeeze
你会给我写一张罚单的
too hard you'll try to give me a ticket.
罚单 你懂吧！
The tickets, you know!
德尔 带上那家伙
Del, take the sprayer in
看看你能不能让他交代真♥相♥
and see if you can get him to talk.
伙计们 你们怎么了？
What is it with you guys, man?
我的意思是 是因为我的头发 我的口音才逮捕我吗？
I mean, is it my hair, my accent?
什么？
What?
不是
No.
你就是照例在欺负镇上新来的人
You just like harassing new people in town,
是不是？
is that it?
你是非法侵入 然后你逃离了现场
Look you were trespassin', you fled the scene,
你袭击了一名警官 触犯了法律
you assaulted an officer, and you broke the law.
法律 法律 你们警♥察♥ 都是一样的
Law, law, you cops, you're all the same.
你是不是逮捕像我这种无辜的人
You probably get a big kick out
心里特别爽
of busting an innocent guy like me,
我只是想做些正当的营生
just out trying to make an honest living.
你应该摸摸自己的良心在哪里 伙计
You should look at yourself in the mirror once, man.
你该闭上你的嘴
You might wanna stop talkin'.
好的
Yes, sir.
这家伙真是油盐不进