杀人自白（2018）

跟我一起说 你这肥猪!
Say it with me, you fat pig!
放开他 诺埃尔!
Get off of him, Noel!
你好 先生们
Hello, gentlemen.
- 嘿 诺埃尔 - 怎么了 诺埃尔?
- Hey, Noel. - What's up, Noel?
听着 我知道经过昨天发生的事
Look, I know we're all a bit shaken up
我们都有点害怕
about what happened yesterday.
说实话 我有点抱歉 好吗?
And to tell you the truth, I'm sort of sorry, okay?
但是 一方面我说着对不起
But, out of one corner of my mouth, I say, "I'm sorry,"
另一方面我又在警告你们
and now the other corner, I say, "I told you so."
我知道我的方法有点极端
I know my methods were a bit drastic,
但有时 这就是我表达细节的方式
but that's how I convey the finer points, sometimes.
我知道
I know,
我们很抱歉挑战了你们底线
and we are so, so sorry for crossing that line.
很抱歉挑战了你的底线 诺埃尔
We were just sorry for crossing that line, Noel.
我们把镜头丢了 所以不会再发生了
The footage is gone, it won't happen again.
我确定不会了
I'm confident it won't,
我知道我们现在的处境相同
I know we're all on the same page, now.
我觉得这是我的错 伙计们
I feel this is really my fault, guys,
- 埃利斯
I mean, - Ellis,
埃利斯 别傻了
Ellis, don't be silly.
不管怎样 我们还是朋友
Either way, it's all under the bridge,
还是朋友 对吧?
we're good, okay?
是的 谢谢你
Okay, thank you
提供的治疗录像
for that therapy footage exclusive, by the way.
非常迷人 深刻
That was fascinating and insightful
并且非常坦诚
and very candid.
效果怎么样？
How's that going?
效果很棒
I can't see how it could be going any better.
索洛夫医生非常棒
Doctor Solov has been absolutely wonderful.
她给我的生活带来了实质性的改变
She's making a substantial difference in my life.
你一个星期要见她几次?
How many times a week are you seeing her?
两次 本来一次就行 但我把它提高到两次
Twice, it was once, but I upped it to two.
一次太少了 间隔太长
One was too few, too far in between.
这些治疗对我具有变革性
The sessions have been transformative,
非常鼓舞人心
and really encouraging
这正是我现在需要的
which is exactly what I need right now.
我可以问一下你的难处吗?
May I ask about the unscratchable itch?
还会冲动 但降低了很多
It's still there, but drastically reduced.
你看 冲动就是冲动
See, impulse is impulse.
但是随着治疗的进行
But with therapy comes understanding,
它可以表现为自我控制
which manifests itself as self-control.
所以呢?
And how so?
我明白了
I'm understanding the how's and why's,
人生经历这张路线图上的一些波折和坎坷的意义
the blips and bumps in this road map of life experiences
是这些造就了我
that make me Me.
所以现在 当我冲动的时候
So now, when there is an impulse,
我不再措手不及
I'm not longer caught off guard,
而是可以停下来
but I can instead stop
然后马上思考
and think almost immediately.
加布里埃尔怎么样了?
And how Gabriella doing?
我的意思是 她意识到了即将到来的转变吗?
I mean, is she aware of the transition to come?
是的 她今天早上才知道 米凯拉告诉了她
Yes, she just found out this morning, Mikayla told her.
她的反应很奇怪 但也不算太怪
Her reaction was odd, but not odd.
她的反应几乎就像到了该交钱的时候
She reacted almost as if it was due time.
- 加布里埃尔的反应? - 是的 是的
- Gabriella's reaction? - Yes, yes,
她表现得好像她知道这一天要到来
she acted as if she knew it was coming,
就像如果这有任何意义的话
as if it was supposed to be, if that makes any sense.
你们之间的联♥系♥
That connection between the two of you
一定是难以想象的明显
must be unbelievably palpable,
毕竟她认识你才几个星期
and she's only known you for a matter of weeks.
我知道 我非常感激
I know, I'm extremely grateful.
感觉这一切都是命中注定的
It feels like all this was fated.
诺埃尔 你觉得我们最近什么时候还能再一起
Say Noel, do you think we could get together
进行现场拍摄吗?
and do some live shooting some time soon?
你觉得可以吗?
Would you feel up to that?
当然可以 我感觉好多了
Absolutely, yes, I've been feeling better
我现在就想帮忙
and eager to help now.
但是看看
But look boys,
大自然一直在呼唤我 现在已经留下了一些信息
nature's been calling and has now left several messages,
所以你想见面的时候给我发信息吧
so why don't you message me when you want to meet
到时候我们再解决细节问题
and we can sort out the details.
- 好的 - 好的
- Okay. - Okay,
期待听到最终的计划
looking forward to hearing about the final plans
以及所有的编辑工作
and all the editing.
- 我一会儿再打给你 好吗? - 听起来不错
- I'll talk to you soon, okay? - Sounds good,
- 再见 诺埃尔 - 随后见
- bye, Noel. - Later.
有时我很好奇他的父亲
Sometimes I wonder about his father.
所以呢?
How so?
我只是觉得背后还有很多原因
I just feel like there's more there.
在一次杂货店短暂停留期间 诺埃尔又一次情绪失控
摄像头被落在车里了
虽然没有人受伤 也没有引起太大的骚动
但诺埃尔恶意地伤害了一位上了年纪的顾客
随后他们便立即离开了
我想下车
I want out.
我不知道怎么… 你不知道怎么
I don't know how to... You don't know how,
什么怎么 诺埃尔?
how what, Noel?
- 怎么停下来 - 你应该为你自己
- How to stop. - You have to be proud
感到骄傲
of yourself.
伙计 你刚才表现很好
Man, that was amazing in there.
你想要改变 让自己变得更好
You've wanted to change and better yourself,
你也确实这么做了
and you have.
那刚才我怎么又冲动了？
Then what the hell was that?
为什么我阻止不了自己?
Why can't I stop that?
为什么我不能控制它?
Why can't I control it?
我刚刚的所作所为 可能会让那个女人因为恐惧
I probably took a year off of that woman's life just through
- 而折寿一年 - 不 不会的
- sheer terror alone. - No, that's nonsense,
你知道不可能的
and you know that not to be true.
另外 我们把这叫做恢复 好吗?
Plus, let's call this a recovery, okay?
你才刚刚开始这个过程
You've just begun this process.
你不能指望一夜好转或突然顿悟
You can't expect overnight shifts or sudden epiphanies.
你投入了工作和时间
You're putting in the work and the time.
你已经比原来
you've come leaping and bounding
好多了
from where you once were.
不一样 埃罗尔
It's not the same, Errol.
这是不一样的 一旦你做了
It's different, once you've done it
并且侥幸逃脱 恐惧就消失了
and you've gotten away with it, the fear is gone.
耻辱 犹豫 也都消失了
The stigma, the hesitation, it's gone.
永远消失了
It's gone for good.
一切都在变化
Everything is changes.
会好起来的
It changes.
你会恢复的
You're gonna be okay,
不仅仅是为了你自己
and not just for your own sake.
我必须要恢复
I have to be.
我必须这样 不是吗?
I quite have to be, don't I?
于是她走了出来
So she comes outside.
记住 她刚搬进来
And keep in mind, she just recently moved in,
所以她开始认识每个人
so she's getting to know everyone,
她在找方向
she's getting her bearings,
- 你知道的 - 我也很高兴
- you know. - It's so wonderful
能听到你家人的消息
to hear about the rest of your family, too.
哦 阿丽莎 她很棒
Oh, Alisha, she's wonderful.
她是个伟大的人
She's a great spirit.
- 你妈妈? - 是的
- Mom's side? - Yes.
她走到外面 这是在佛罗里达
So she comes outside, and this is in Florida.
她看到这个老妇人正在路对面
And she sees this old woman harvesting these oranges
收橘子
across the way.
像阿丽莎一样热情友好
Being all bubbly and friendly as Alisha is,
她几乎是奔向这个女人
she practically runs towards this woman
并介绍自己
and introduces herself.
她说 嗨 我叫阿丽莎·摩根
She says, "Hi, my name's Alisha Morgan",
我刚搬进来 你叫什么名字?
"I just moved in, what's your name?"
老妇人看着她 点点头