我还是我：迈克尔·J·福克斯（2023）

The rush that was my life then, meant my bride...
承受着如此疯狂的生活
was wondering what in the hell she'd gotten herself into.
翠丝,你去年想念米高吗?
Tracy, did you miss Michael the last year?
想念,再次有他在家真好
Yeah. It's good to have him home again.
家中有我的迷你版本-对,我有个迷你版的他
She's got a tiny version of me at home. - Yeah, I got a miniature version of him...
短短一年间
Inside of a year,
才华洋溢的妙龄女演员成为单亲妈妈
an exquisitely talented, 20-something actress had become a single mother...
最重要是为自己和家庭而感恩
It's about being content with who you are and being content with your family
还要爱自己和身边的人
and, you know, loving yourself and loving the people around you.
而我还有工作的自♥由♥
...while I was still free to work.
当时的我在少于叁年内拍第五部戏
Here I was, shooting my fifth film in less than three years.
但我在戏外几乎没有生活可言
But it was a sheltered, narrow existence.
这不是小学鸡游戏,老友
He's a chickenshit, man.
充满恐惧和寂寞
Fueled by fear and isolation.
演员之所以成为演员不是因为他们满怀自信
Actors don't become actors because they're brimming with self-confidence.
唏,早晨啊,伊斯活先生
Hey, good morning, Mr. Eastwood.
演员的雄心壮志是要尽量花更多时间
An actor's burning ambition is to spend as much time as possible
假装别人
pretending to be somebody else.
我觉得你只是无胆的烂泥
I think you ain't nothing but a gutless yellow turd!
我们那些够运或漂泊的人成为专业表演者
For those of us lucky or unstable enough to become professional performers...
你以为自己是边个?
Who the hell do you think you are?
对真我的迷茫只会有增无减
...the uncertainty about who we really are only increases.
你啊
And you.
有个想法死缠不放
Gnawing at you always...
你一无所知
You I don't know about.
就是你觉得自己是光棍和骗子
...is the belief that you're a fake. A phony.
我讨厌你的电影
I hate your movies.
若有这种日子的话
What is a typical, if there is such a thing,
米高、翠丝和森的日常是怎样的?
day in the life of Michael and Tracy and Sam?
我起身返工,回家时人人都睡了
I get up and go to work, I come home and everybody is asleep.
就是这样
That's about it.
爸爸身体不适了一个月有多
Dad hadn't been feeling well for the last month or so.
“他们急急把我爸送入院
"My father had been rushed to the hospital.
爸爸身体不适了一个月有多
Dad hadn't been feeling well for the last month or so.
先是心脏出问题,然后肾脏开始衰竭
His heart gave out first, then his kidneys began to fail.
我没料到在1990年的那天我的人生来到临界点”
I couldn't know that day in 1990 that I was stepping across a threshold."
对不起
Sorry.
这种事对你的影响总是,当你经歷这种事
Stuff like that just hits you like a-- You're going through this stuff and you--
这种事忽然发生,而你就很...
Something like that pops out and you're so, like--
就像读出这叁句话,就像被千斤压住
like that's three sentences and, like, 10,000 pounds of stuff.
是甚麽临界点?
What was the threshold?
我终于长大成人,要面对真实问题
Threshold was adulthood. Like, real shit.
人生
Life.
天啊,米克,这只是我的手指
For Christ's sake, Mike. It's just your freaking finger.
但那就是问题
But that was the problem.
它不由得我控制,就像是属于别人
It wasn't mine. It was somebody else's.
我想像中最惊慌的场面不足以令我有心理準备
The most paranoid fantasy I could think of would not have prepared me
面对神经科医生当日对我讲的四个字
for the two words the neurologist bludgeoned me with that day.
柏金逊症
Parkinson's disease.
然后我说:“你知你在跟谁说话,对吧?
And I said, "You know who you're talking to, right?
你知道我不应该有这个病的”
You know, I'm, like, not someone who is supposed to get this."
(认识柏金逊症)
(初期征状、治疗与支援)
他给我一本小册子
He handed me a pamphlet.
我不知哪个才有这个脑科不治之症他们两个都很开心
Which one had the incurable brain disease was not clear, they both looked happy.
他还说了“渐进”、“退化”
He said some more words like, "progressive," "degenerative,"
“无可救药”
"incurable."
他说:“你一定会输,不能战胜它的”
He said, "You lose this game. You don't win this."
我记得曾站在街上寻找答桉
I remember standing on the street looking for an answer.
真的,我的世界从此变了
It's just-- I just-- My world blew up.
我早应料到
I should have seen it coming,
我要为事业成功付上沉重代价
the cosmic price I had to pay for all my success.
我把此事告知翠丝
I told Tracy the news.
我记得她轻声说:“不论疾病或健康”
"In sickness and in health," I remember her whispering.
头部完全放松
Now totally relax with the head.
好吧,很好,对,看看我的手指,张开眼
Okay, that's good. Yeah. Now, look at my finger. Open up.
望向这边
Look over here.
对,望高一点,很好
Yeah. Up. That's good.
这样做
Go like this.
不错,好极
You're good. Excellent.
其实很有力,等等-我很有力
Actually, that's very strong. Hold on. - I'm a strong man.
你很有力-很有力
You're a strong man. - Very strong.
即是你当时在换衫,很赶时间
So, you were getting dressed, you were in a hurry,
然后撞向床头板?
you went smack into the headboard?
床头板,对-明白
Headboard. Yeah. - Okay.
那麽,你的肩膀几时脱臼?
So, when did you dislocate the shoulder?
大概在同一时间?-同一时间
Around the same time? - Around the same time.
一切都发生得...就像自虐节一样
It all happened in the-- It was like a festival of self-abuse.
你可以参观我家-好吧
You can do a tour of my house. - Okay.
几乎全部在同一位置-怎麽了?
It's almost all in the same spot. - What's it matter?
好吧,紧握我的手
Okay, so squeeze my hand.
有何感觉?-还可以
How does that feel? - Feels all right.
我们应该会没事的
I think we're gonna be fine.
你不会有事?-对
You're gonna be fine? - Yeah.
不必截肢或...
They're not gonna have to amputate anything or--
不,要换我个脑-明白,好吧
No. My head. - Okay. Good.
你个脑?-没错,正是
Your head? - My head, yeah.
她学会应对很多事
She's learned to deal with a lot of stuff.
她肯定觉得很沮丧,要承担这个负累
How frustrating it must be to have to bear the burden
但不是她的负累
of something that isn't her burden.
是我的负累,但她与我一齐承担
It's my burden, but she shares it with me.
她不仅与我一齐承担而且比我承担得更多
She not only shares it with me, she takes on more than I take on.
你还未起床就吃第一轮药?
So, you take the first round while you're still in bed?
不,已经起床-已经起床,明白
No, out of bed. - Out of bed. Okay.
有时米高会拖延-明白
Sometimes Michael likes to hold that off... - Yeah.
当他有事要做的时候
...if he's got something that he needs to do.
他觉得再等一会,药效就会更强更好
He thinks if he waits, it's gonna kick in stronger and better.
我要经歷甚麽,她就经歷甚麽
Everything I go through, she's gone through.
然后我要想办法令事情行得通
And then I have to try to figure out how to make it work.
我要用心感受和经歷它
Like, I just have to feel it and then-- and live it.
但我可以行几步,就像这样
I can walk a little bit though. Like that.
她要令事情行得通
She has to make it work.
老婆,我在行路-没错
I'm walking, honey. - You are.
做得好-我知
Good job. - I know.
是这边吗?-对
Is that this way? - Yeah.
行慢一点,好吧
Slow down a little. Okay.
我用幻想来逃避
I clung to fantasies of escape.
(柏金逊症的歷史纵观)
幻想诊断只是一场误会
That somehow my diagnosis would turn out to be a mistake.
(论震颤性麻痺)
(原本是较年老人士的疾病)
(72岁男子们)
我未到30岁
I was in my late 20s.
我怎会有这个老人病?
How could I possibly have this old person's disease?
症状包括肌肉僵硬
Symptoms include muscular rigidity,
动作缓慢和衰弱、颤抖
slowness and poverty of movements and tremor,
减少眨眼、面部表情的自主性降低
diminished blinking, and reduced spontaneity of facial expression.
我还以为减少眨眼和面部表情自主性降低
I thought my diminished blinking and reduced spontaneity of facial expression
会令我在镜头前更加自在
marked a growing comfort in front of the camera.
少些扮鬼脸,一拍就入戏
Less mugging, hamming it up.
不,我不会有进步,只会越来越病
No, you weren't getting better. Just sicker.
你对这种病的患者有何建议?
What advice would you give to someone that has the disease?
最主要是首先要诚实面对自己
The main thing is, is to be truthful, first, with yourself.
有请尊尼
Here's Johnny.
在毫无先兆之下我的左手开始不由自主地抖震
With no obvious cue, my left hand would begin shaking uncontrollably.
总言之,开始今晚的精彩节目吧
Now, anyway, let's move. We've got a great show tonight.
今晚我们会访问米高J.霍士
Mr. Michael J. Fox is with us.
我叫内科医生处方柏金逊症药物
I had my internist prescribe PD meds.
息宁会被大脑吸收,变成多巴胺
Sinemet is taken up by the brain and changed into dopamine,
那是一种神经递质柏金逊症患者不能继续产生
the neurotransmitter that a Parkinson's patient can no longer produce
足够的份量
in sufficient quantities.
他是最有才华的年轻人,而且...
He's a most-talented young man, and--
欢迎米高J.霍士吧
Would you welcome Michael J. Fox?
治疗价值,甚至是舒适感