自力更生（2023）

现在我和你一起坐在这里。
Now I'm sitting here with you.
好吧，爸爸，嗯，这很有趣，但是，嗯......
All right, Dad, well, this was interesting but, um...
汤米。
Tommy.
当我离开时，
When I, I left,
当你和我熬夜的时候——嘿。
when you and me stayed up--Hey.
嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿，嘿。不。
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No.
不。不。
No. No.
现在不要这样做。
Don't do this right now.
我现在不能做他妈的爸爸的大话。
I can't do the big fucking Dad talk right now.
现在他妈怎么了？我们在做爸爸演讲吗？
What the fuck is going on now? We're doing a Dad talk?
如果我试着做爸爸的演讲，我他妈的脑袋会爆♥炸♥。
If I try to do a Dad talk, my fucking head is gonna explode.
我理解。
I understand.
我的意思是，不要误会我的意思。
I mean, don't get me wrong.
我一直想和你一起度过这一刻
I have wanted to have this moment with you
自从你♥他♥妈♥的离开的那天晚上。
since the night you fucking left.
我梦见了这个该死的时刻，伙计。但不是现在。
I've dreamt of this fucking moment, man. But not now.
“因为我现在只想着玛德琳的安全。
'Cause all I'm thinking about now is Madeline's safety.
我非常喜欢她。
I like her so much.
我希望没有人伤害她，儿子。或者你。
I hope no one hurts her, son. Or you.
你们可以一起度过一生。
And that you get to spend your lives together.
不要像我一样。不要搞砸一件好事。
Don't be like me. Don't fuck up a good thing.
嘿，爸爸。
Hey, Dad.
这是现在的真实生活吗？这真的发生了吗？
Is this real-life right now? Is this really happening?
我认为如此。
I think so.
好。
Okay.
好。
Okay.
我爱你，爸爸。
I love you, Dad.
哦，伙计。
Oh, man.
嗯嗯。
Mm-hmm.
好吧。-好。
All right. - Okay.
好几天都给她打电♥话♥了。也许她想要一些空间。
Been calling her for days. Maybe she wants some space.
你好。
Hi.
嘿，我已经试探你好几天了。你没事吧？
Hey, I've been trying you for days. Are you okay?
我很好。我很好。你安全吗？百分之百？
I'm fine. I'm fine. You're safe? Hundred percent?
是的。
Yeah.
哦，我的上帝。- 请过来。-汤米。我在撒谎。
Oh my God. - Come here, please. - Tommy. I was lying.
我知道，我们已经克服了这一点。我不在乎。
I know, we've been over that. I don't care.
不。汤米，关于游戏。
No. Tommy, about the game.
嗯。我不是在玩游戏。
Um. I'm not playing a game.
你在谈论什么？- 我看到了你的广♥告♥，我...
What are you talking about? - I saw your ad and I...
...真的很无聊和寂寞，嗯......
...was really bored and lonely, and um...
我以为这是个笑话。我以为这就像......
I thought it was a joke. I thought this was like...
...角色扮演约会什么的......
...roleplaying dating or something...
你在谈论什么？这是怎麽？
What are you talking about? What is this?
这是事实。我。。。
This is the truth. I...
我很抱歉。我不知道。
I'm so sorry. I didn't know.
谁找到你了？-没有人。
Who got to you? - Nobody.
谁让你这么说的？
Who told you to say this?
汤米，没有人。
Tommy, nobody.
是的。是他妈的韦恩布雷迪吗？
Yeah. Was it fucking Wayne Brady?
韦恩·布雷迪（Wayne Brady）来这里告诉你要这么说吗？
Did Wayne Brady come here and tell you to say that?
那个该死的婊♥子♥。
That son of a fucking bitch.
我可以向你保证，韦恩·布雷迪不在这里。
I can assure you Wayne Brady was not here.
哦，看在他妈的份上。
Oh, for fuck's sake.
他们得到了我妈妈。谁得到了妈？
They got my Mom. Who got your Mom?
该死的猎人，麦迪。
Fucking hunters, Maddy.
拜托，请跟上我。詹姆斯，走得越快越好！
Please, please keep up with me. James, go as fast as you can!
妈的。妈的。妈的。
Shit. Shit. Shit.
啊！- 啊，上帝。
Ah! - Ah, God.
喔。你好。我，我是艾伦·德杰尼勒斯。
Whoo. Hi. I, I'm Ellen DeGeneres.
对不起，在我看来，你看起来并不像艾伦·德杰尼勒斯。
Sorry, but you don't really look like Ellen DeGeneres to me.
你可能有点紧张，因为你是它的忠实粉丝。
You're probably a little nervous, 'cause you're a big fan.
你以前来过我的录音。
You've come to my taping before.
是的？你，你，呃，你的前女友，不是吗？
Yeah? You, you and, uh, your ex-girlfriend, didn't you?
是的，我们去了。你怎么知道？
Yeah, we went. How do you know that?
好吧，上车吧，汤姆。我们可以私下谈谈。
Well, get in the car, Tom. We can talk about it in private.
但这不是豪华轿车。
But it's not a limousine.
嗯，我，我喜欢林肯。
Well, I, I like a Lincoln.
你♥他♥妈♥的为什么要一辆林肯？
Why the fuck would you like a Lincoln?
来吧，不要做汽车势利小人。只是，上车就行了。
Come on, don't be a car snob. Just, just get in the car.
我不是汽车势利小人。汤米，拜托了。
I'm not a car snob. Tommy, please.
为什么你喜欢林肯而不是豪华轿车？
Why would you like a Lincoln over a limo?
上他妈的车。
Get in the fucking car.
嘿，我是电视上的艾伦·德杰尼勒斯。她正在赠送客人块。
Hey, it's Ellen DeGeneres from TV. She's giving away guest blocks.
汤米！你到底怎么了，伙计？
Tommy! What the hell happened to you, man?
我被击中了脸。
I got hit in the face.
哦，好吧，当你走得太快时，就会发生这种情况。
Oh, well, that's what happens when you go too fast.
来，把你的手伸进去。- 你必须跟上我，伙计。
Here, gimme your hand. - You gotta keep up with me, man.
你说艾伦·德杰尼勒斯在这里吗？
Did you say Ellen DeGeneres was here?
不，那不是艾伦·德杰尼勒斯。那是个杀人犯，你这个混♥蛋♥！
No, that wasn't Ellen DeGeneres. It was a murderer, you asshole!
什么？
What?
它看起来怎么样？-可怕。擦拭嘴巴。
How's it look? - Awful. Wipe your mouth.
你刚才叫我混♥蛋♥吗？
Did you just call me an asshole?
快到了。
Almost there.
是的，是的，你大约十分钟前说过。
Yeah, yeah, you said that about ten minutes ago.
好吧，来吧，来吧。拜托，拜托，拜托。快点。
Okay, come on, come on. Please, please, please. Hurry up.
这是怎麽？
What is this?
它是什么样子的？这是一种干预。
What does it look like? It's an intervention.
给我的？- 不，给妈妈。
For me? - No, for Mom.
我们都只是面对错误的方向。
We're all just facing the wrong direction.
你的牙齿到底怎么了？
What the hell happened to your tooth?
哦，我被艾伦·德杰尼勒斯（Ellen DeGeneres）的模仿者打了脸。
Oh, I got hit in the face by an Ellen DeGeneres impersonator.
疼吗？- 这是一个相当干净的打击。
Did it hurt? - It was a pretty clean hit.
是的，很痛，但现在还好。
Yes, it hurt, but it's kind of fine now.
嗨，汤姆。我是林赛。
Hi, Tom. I'm Lindsay.
我是一个干预主义者，我想欢迎你
I'm an interventionist and I'd like to welcome you
和我们一起坐一会儿。
to have a seat with us for a while.
嗨，林赛。一个相互...你觉得怎么样？我是吸毒者？
Hi, Lindsay. An inter... What do you think? I'm a drug addict?
你认为我在吸毒吗？- 不，这与你的心理健康有关。
Do you think I'm on drugs? - No, it's about your mental health.
或者，我的意思是——我们不太确定它是什么。
Or, I mean-- We're not really sure what it is.
或者也许是关于注意力，或者，就像，特蕾莎甩了你。
Or maybe it's about attention or, like, Theresa dumped you.
好吧，好吧，那他妈的怎么样？
Okay, well, then how about fucking this?
我看到了特蕾莎，我们很好。我们谈过了。
I saw Theresa and we're good. We talked.
哦，是的？
Oh, yeah?
好吧，好吧，也许是因为爸爸从来不在身边。
Okay, well, maybe it's about Dad never being around.
我看见了爸爸。
I saw Dad.
他向大家打招呼。
He says hi to everybody.
是的，他住在克利夫兰。他自称是清醒的，
Yeah, he lives in Cleveland. He claims to be sober,
他对自己离开的方式感到非常抱歉。
and he was pretty apologetic about how he left.
你看到爸爸了吗？
You saw Dad?
是的，我们一起乘坐豪华轿车。
Yeah, we were in a limousine together.
呃，韦恩·布雷迪，嗯，我猜找到了他，把他放在私人飞机上。
Uh, Wayne Brady, um, I guess found him and put him on a private jet.
韦恩·布雷迪和爸爸的朋友？
Wayne Brady's friends with Dad?
我不确定韦恩·布雷迪（Wayne Brady）和他的朋友是否，
I'm not sure if Wayne Brady's friends with him,
但是，是的，爸爸就是这么说的。
but yeah, that's what Dad said.
这个房♥间里有很多人真的很爱你。
There are a lot of people in this room who really love you.
那你为什么不坐一会儿呢？
So why don't you just sit for a while.
嘿 嘿。汤米？-什么？
Hey, hey. Tommy? - What?
坐下。
Just sit down.
没有冒犯，但这个女人贵得离谱，
No offense, but this woman is ridiculously expensive,
所以，拜托，谢谢。
so please, thank you.
好的，我们雇了人。我们雇人来搜索你的暗网节目。
Okay, we hired someone. We hired someone to search for your dark web show.
他们什么也没找到，亲爱的。
They found nothing, honey.
不，谢谢，伙计。
No thanks, buddy.
好吧，也许你雇用的人是游戏的一部分。
Well, maybe the person that you hired is part of the game.
你们脑子里有没有想过？
Have you brainiacs ever thought of that?
也许这是一个设置。哦，汤米。
Maybe it's a setup. Oh, Tommy.
汤米，我们已经走过这条路很多次了。
Tommy, we've been down this road so many times.
这不是你第一次认为世界反对你。
And it's not the first time that you thought the world was against you.
它只是碰巧是最新的。
It just happens to be the latest.