自力更生（2023）

你好。
Hi.
你好。
Hi.
这就是你，对吧？
This is you, right?
是的。是我。
Yeah. That's me.
你是演员安迪·萨姆伯格吗？
Are you the actor Andy Samberg?
我是。
I am.
你是？是的。
You are? Yeah.
开什么玩笑？
Are you kidding?
我是我的忠实粉丝，伙计。就像，一个大粉丝。
I'm a big fan, man. Like, a big fan.
哦，非常感谢。嘿，我有一个问题要问你。
Oh, thank you very much. Hey, I got a question for you.
你喜欢豪华轿车吗？
Do you like limos?
我喜欢豪华轿车吗？确定。是的。
Do I like limos? Sure. Yeah.
谁没有，对吧？
Who doesn't, right?
对。-是的。
Right. - Yeah.
你想进去吗？
You wanna get in?
呃。。。
Uh...
确定。-是的？加油。
Sure. - Yeah? Come on.
恭喜。您已被选中。
Congrats. You've been selected.
谢谢。为什么？
Thanks. For what?
嗯，我不知道。
Um, I don't know.
所以，嗯，你知道吗？
So, um, you know what?
我没有记住，所以我只是要从卡片上读出来。
I'm not memorized, so I'm just gonna read this off the card.
你是在和我说话还是......？SAMBERG:根据合同。
Are you talking to me or...?SAMBERG: Per the contract.
哼？不，对不起，你很好。
Huh? No, sorry, you're good.
不用担心。是的。-好。
Don't worry. Yeah. - Okay.
呃，托马斯·沃尔科特。
Uh, Thomas Walcott.
单身，没有孩子，没有受抚养人。
Single, no children, no dependents.
工作是网络管理，
Job is network management,
专注于统计分♥析♥。
focusing on statistical analysis.
身体健康。
Physically fit.
足够。
Enough.
我想他们对这个不是太严格。
I guess they're not too strict about that one.
我在开玩笑。虽然有点严重。
I'm joking. Kind of serious though.
好吧。我会继续在这里。
All right. I'll keep it going here.
对不起。我会继续下去的。我马保持紧绷。
I'm sorry. I'll keep it going. I'ma keep it tight.
呃，分手后......对不起。
Uh, after your breakup... I'm sorry.
...你搬回了你母亲家。
...you moved back in with your mother.
是的，对不起，安迪·萨姆伯格。你怎么知道这一切？
Yeah, I'm sorry, Andy Samberg. How do you know all this?
哦，雇用我的公♥司♥，
Oh, the company that hired me,
我想他们已经跟踪你一段时间了。
I think they've been tracking you for a while.
有一家公♥司♥一直在跟踪我？
There's a company that's been tracking me?
我想我要说的是，不要问我
I guess what I would say is, don't ask me
任何具体问题，因为他们什么也没告诉我。
any specific questions because they told me nothing.
我，我不知道它是什么的任何细节。
I, I don't know any details about what it is.
但我确实需要问你，你想继续这次冒险吗？
But I do need to ask you, do you want to continue on this adventure?
呃......
Um...
去他妈的。是的。
Fuck it. Yes.
真？- 真的，是的。绝对。
Really? - Really, yeah. Definitely.
你为什么会说是？
Why would you say yes?
“因为这是多年来发生在我身上的最激动人心的事情。
'Cause this is the most exciting thing that's happened to me in ages.
我不 - 希望它结束。-好。
And I don't - want it to end. - Okay.
我的意思是，如果我说不，那么我必须回到我的生活。
I mean, if I say no, then I have to go back to my life.
我的生活就是这样，就像，例行公事。就像，我被困住了。
And my life is in this, like, routine. It's, like, I'm stuck.
所以说“是”一定比这更好，对吧？
So saying yes has to be better than that, right?
我的意思是，不，不一定。
I mean, no, not necessarily.
但是，伙计，你刚才说的就是这样。很痛苦。
But, man, the way you just phrased that. So sad.
呃......好了，我们走吧。
Um... All right, let's go.
我们还要多久才能到达，呃，冒险的下一部分？
How long until we get to, uh, the next part of the adventure?
你不应该说话。
You're not supposed to talk.
怎么会这样？
How come?
我认为他们只是想利用所有这些。
I think they just wanna use all of this.
加剧紧张局势。
Build up the tension.
好。你看到那扇红色的门了吗？走过它。
Okay. You see that red door? Walk through it.
地面和墙壁上会有红色的小箭头。
There will be small red arrows on the ground and walls.
只要跟着这些。
Just follow those.
你不来吗？- 不，不，我说完了。
You're not coming? - No, no, I'm done.
是的，他们只是付钱让我把你带到这里。所以。。。
Yeah, they just paid me to get you here. So...
嗯，见到你真是太棒了。
Well, it was really awesome to meet you.
是的。
Yeah.
也许我们可以喝杯啤酒。- 祝你好运，伙计。
Maybe we could get a beer. - Good luck, man.
是的。谢谢。-是的。
Yeah. Thank you. - Yeah.
过来坐。
Come sit.
请。
Please.
好。
Okay.
祝贺。
Congratulations.
您已被选中参加
You have been selected to partake
在暗网最大的真人秀节目中。
in the biggest reality show in the dark web.
会有人试图杀死你。
There will be people trying to kill you.
猎人。
The hunters.
你在谈论什么？
What are you talking about?
有人想谋杀我？
There's people trying to murder me?
非常如此。
Very much so.
每个被选中的参与者将有 30 天的时间来...生存。
Each participant selected will have 30 days to... survive.
如果他们存活 30 天，
If they survive 30 days,
他们将获得一百万美元现金。
they will receive one million dollars, cash.
猎人将遍布世界各地，沃尔科特先生，
The hunters will be all around the world, Mr. Walcott,
而且，呃，可能无法到达你的城市。
and, uh, might not make it to your city.
所以在他们找到你之前，你会很安全。
So you will be safe until they find you.
你可能在接下来的 30 天里再也没有遇到过任何人，
You might spend the next 30 days and never encounter anyone,
但你仍然赚了一百万美元。
but you still make the million dollars.
我们将全程拍摄您。
We will be filming you the entire time.
如何？
How?
生产助理已经窃听了你的住所
Production assistants have already bugged your residence
以及我们希望您去的地方。
as well as places we expect you to go.
他们会像你一样旅行。你不会看到它们。
They will travel as you do. You will not see them.
他们非常善于逃避。
They are highly skilled at evasion.
所以他们有点像制♥作♥助理忍♥者？
So they're kind of like production assistant ninjas?
不，他们不是训练有素的忍♥者。
No, they are not trained ninjas.
我没有说训练有素的忍♥者，我说像忍♥者。
I didn't say trained ninjas, I said like ninjas.
但是，如果它有助于你说“是”，把他们想象成忍♥者，
But if it helps you to say yes, to think of them as ninjas,
我们对此感到满意。
we are fine with that.
对不起。我需要站起来一会儿。
Excuse me. I need to stand up for a moment.
是的，请。谢谢。
Yeah, please. Thank you.
你在想什么？
What are you thinking?
我的意思是，我能做些什么来帮助你说“是”？
I mean, what can I do to help you say yes?
啊，没什么。我不认为我能做到这一点。
Ah, nothing. I don't think I can do this.
哦，你可以。你应该。
Oh, you can. You should.
好吧，来坐下，是的。你总是可以说不。
Well, come sit down, yeah. You can always say no.
所以，请坐一会儿。是的？
So, just come sit for a minute. Yeah?
这很有趣，伙计们。
It's very interesting, guys.
我只是，我不认为我能做到这一点。我不能拿别人的生命冒险。
I just, I don't think that I can do this. I can't risk other people's lives.
我不能，我不能让我的室友中弹
I can't, I can't have my roommate catching a bullet
因为我在玩一些愚蠢的游戏。
'cause I'm playing some silly game.
你的母亲会安全的。
Your mother will be safe.
你怎么——你怎么能保证呢？
How do you-- How can you guarantee that?
只有当你独自一人时，你才会被杀。
You will only be killed when you are alone.
这是什么意思，我只会在独自一人的时候被杀？
What does that mean, I'll only be killed when I'm alone?
如果你和其他人在一起，猎人将不得不等待。
If you are with someone else, the hunters will have to wait.
对其他任何人都没有风险。
There is no risk to anyone else.
但一旦独自一人，你就不再安全了。
But once alone, you are no longer safe.
所以这是一个漏洞。
So that's a loophole.
嗯，这不是漏洞。这只是一个规则。
Well, this is no loophole. It's just a rule.
嗯，这是一个漏洞。
Well, it's kind of a loophole.
如果我每天每时每刻都和我妈妈或我的姐♥妹♥们♥在一起怎么办？
What if I was with, like, my mom or my sisters every second of every day?
你需要花每一刻
You would need to spend every moment
他们近在咫尺。这并不像听起来那么容易。
with them in close proximity. It's not as easy as it sounds.
是的。如果与您在一起的人走路
Yeah. If the person you're with walks
在房♥间的另一边，你很容易受到攻击。
to the other side of the room, you are vulnerable for attack.
你必须与他们保持惊人的距离
You must be within striking distance from them
每一秒。
each and every second.