自力更生（2023）

亲爱的，请接受它。
Honey, please accept it.
现在窗外有一个忍♥者。
There's a ninja out the window right now.
但不要看，他们只会逃跑。这会让我看起来更糟。
But don't look, they'll just run away. It'll make me look worse.
没有忍♥者。
There's no ninja.
那个忍♥者在做什么？真的很酷吗？
What's that ninja doing? Something really cool?
比如，一些后空翻，一些踢腿，或者它们只是令人不寒而栗？
Like, some back flips, some kicks, or are they just chilling?
简直令人不寒而栗。
Just chilling.
这太令人失望了。
That's disappointing.
翻转会很酷。- 好吧，停下来。这并不好笑。
Flips would've been cool. - Okay, stop it. It's not funny.
曾经很有趣。
Used to be funny.
呃，对不起，呃，林赛。是的。
Uh, excuse me, uh, Lindsay. Yes.
这需要吸收很多东西，嗯，
This is a lot to take in, um,
而且，嗯，在我做出决定之前，我只是想知道
and, um, I'm just wondering before I make my decision
我们开始写信，如果我能花一分钟时间的话。
and we get to the letters, if I can just take a minute.
嗯，只是为了处理，然后我很高兴进去。可以吗？
Um, just to process and then I'm happy to get in. Is that okay?
确定。谢谢。
Sure. Thank you.
你♥他♥妈♥的能不能别吃零食了，跟我走，伙计？
Would you stop fucking snacking and come with me, man?
这就是你对我说的。
That's all you ever say to me.
别吃零食了，我就对你说什么吗？
Stop snacking is all I say to you?
是的。- 不是这样。
Yeah. - That's not it.
哦，不是吗？不。
Oh, it isn't? No.
好吧，这真的很糟糕。
Well, that went really bad.
我简直不敢相信一颗牙齿可以改变一张脸。
I can't believe one tooth can change a face so much.
右？-哦！在那里，他在奔跑。
Right? - Oh! There, he's running.
不，汤米。去，去，去，去，去。
No, Tommy. Go, go, go, go, go.
哦，该死的。我要报♥警♥。
Oh, goddamn it. I'm calling the police.
伙计，我不得不承认，这很有趣。
Man, I gotta admit, this has been a lot of fun.
我同意，伙计。
I agree, man.
有你参与其中真是太好了，詹姆斯。它真的有。
It's been great having you part of it, James. It really has.
另外，你应该知道我的名字不是詹姆斯。
Also, you should know my name's not James.
是沃尔特。
It's Walter.
这是真的吗？- 是的，这是真的。
Is that true? - Yes, that's true.
那你♥他♥妈♥为什么要告诉我你叫詹姆斯？
So why the fuck did you tell me your name was James?
我没有告诉你我的名字是詹姆斯。
I didn't tell you my name was James.
你刚开始叫我詹姆斯。
You just started calling me James.
什么？
What?
我刚刚编造了詹姆斯？- 是的，你做到了。
I just made up James? - Yes, you did.
但别担心，伙计。
But don't worry about it, man.
嗯——好吧。
Um--All right.
我们现在是朋友了。-好。
We're friends now. - Okay.
对不起，我这样做了。- 所以你应该知道我的真名。
Sorry I did that. - So you should know my real name.
是的，我同意，伙计。
Yeah, I agree, man.
有时我的大脑会拉屎，伙计。
Sometimes my brain does shit, man.
好吧，沃尔特，当我赢得这场比赛时，我会......
Well, Walter, when I win this fucking game, which I will...
我想给你买♥♥一个地方，伙计。
I'd like to buy you a place, man.
为了真实？-百分之百。这是你应得的，伙计。
For reals? - Hundred percent. You deserve it, man.
不 不。- 你♥他♥妈♥的真是个好人。
No, no. - You're a great fucking guy.
不，不，伙计。 - 我不...
No, no, man. - And I don't...
我不要你——这样生活。- 太多了。
I don't want you - living like this. - It's too much.
我们是朋友，对吧？
We're friends, right?
是的。- 所以我抓住了你。
Yeah. - So I got you.
听我说。
Listen to me.
保持头脑在游戏中，孩子。
Keep your head in the game, kid.
记住你在做什么。记住规则。
Remember what you're doing. Remember the rules.
你可以赢。不要放弃。
You can win. Don't quit.
好。
Okay.
你很好吗？-是的。
You're good? - Yeah.
好。我也是。
Okay. Me too.
好。
Okay.
小伙子，我们是一群没牙的老家伙，不是吗？
Boy, we are a toothless bunch of old dudes, ain't we?
对不起。你见过和我在一起的那个留着大胡子的家伙吗？
Excuse me. Have you seen the guy I was with, with the big beard?
这到底是怎么回事？詹姆斯！
What the fuck is going on? James!
沃尔特！
Walter!
你见过和我在一起的那个留着大胡子的家伙吗？
Have you seen the guy I was with, with the big beard?
这是一档暗网真人秀。
It's a dark web reality show.
我被追捕了，我不能一个人呆着。
I'm being hunted, I just can't be alone.
所以这就是我来这里的原因，因为我的家人不信任我。所以。。。
So that's why I came here, cause my family doesn't trust me. So...
我宁愿回家，相信我，你知道，
I'd prefer to go home, believe me, you know,
但这只是几天，所以......
but it's only a couple more days, so...
所以我还有大约24小时，然后我赢了。
So I've got about 24 hours left, and then I win.
就是这样。就是这样。
That's it. That's it.
醒来。
Wake up.
现在是第30天，结束了吗？
It's day 30, is it over?
我赢了吗？-不。
Did I win? - No.
那你为什么在这里？
Then why are you here?
我们只是在这里为您提供有关游戏结束的说明。
We're just here to give you instructions on the ending of the game.
好。
Okay.
你可以把其他忍♥者带出来，我知道他们在这里。
You can just bring out the other ninjas, I know they're here.
嘿。
Hey.
那么现在会发生什么，它是如何结束的？
So what happens now, how does it end?
会有一辆豪华轿车。- 你需要进入它。
There will be a limo. - You need to get in it.
它会带你到结局。
It will take you to the ending.
就是这样。这些是说明。
That's it. Those are the instructions.
好吧，豪华轿车在哪里？
Okay, where's the limo?
我不知道，但是，呃，他们确实让我告诉你
I don't know, but, uh, they did tell me to tell you
你需要离开这个区域才能找到豪华轿车。
that you need to leave this area to find the limo.
我必须离开这里吗？为什么？
I have to leave here? Why?
他们觉得观众越来越无聊了
They feel like the audience is getting bored
看着你睡在这座桥下。
watching you sleeping under this bridge.
他们觉得这有点令人沮丧。
They feel like it's getting a little depressing.
真？
Really?
这是一部喜剧，还记得吗？
It is a comedy, remember?
好吧，对不起，我没有变得更有趣，
Well, I'm sorry I'm not being more entertaining,
但人们正试图谋杀我。
but people are trying to murder me.
我们明白了。但他们确实想要一个更激动人心的结局。
We get it. But they do want a more exciting ending.
这就是我们当初摆脱沃尔特的原因。
That's why we got rid of Walter in the first place.
他们觉得你们的关系太重复了。
They felt like your relationship was too repetitive.
你带走了沃尔特？你没有伤害他，是吗？
You took Walter? You didn't hurt him, did you?
不，他现在睡在汽车旅馆里，直到你要么赢，要么死。
No, he's sleeping in a motel right now until you either win or die.
他对这个设置很满意。
He's quite happy with the set up.
好吧，我敢肯定他是。
Well I'm sure he is.
我们建议您在这里找人离开
We recommend that you find someone getting outta here
你跟着他们。
and you follow them.
豪华轿车会找到你。-好。
The limo will find you. - Okay.
也许是她？
Maybe her?
先生，你为什么要跟着我？
Sir, why'd you follow me?
哦，我没有跟着你。
Oh, I wasn't following you.
我们俩碰巧都在做同样的事情。
We just both happened to be doing the same thing.
沃尔科特先生，你好吗？
How are you doing, Mr. Walcott?
男孩，你一直是一个地狱般的参赛者。
Boy, you have been one hell of a contestant.
对不起，你能看到他吗？
Excuse me, can you see him?
别跟我说话了。
Stop talking to me.
嗯嗯，哇。
Mm-hmm. Woah.
我并不孤单。我们在一起。
I'm not alone. We're together.
你会的。我是一个有耐心的人。
You will be. And I'm a patient man.
你介意我问你一个问题吗？
Do you mind if I ask you a question?
继续。
Go ahead.
你想通了吗？
Have you figured it out?
整个游戏是专门为你设置的吗？
That this whole game was set up just for you?
迈克尔杰克逊的狗屎。
All that Michael Jackson shit.
你和你♥爸♥爸玩电子游戏，
You and your dad playing video games,
还有你和艾伦·德杰尼勒斯的前任。
and your ex with Ellen DeGeneres.
那么你是谁？
So then who are you?
我想也许你看的西部片太多了，对吧？
I think maybe you watched a few too many westerns, huh?
你好。
Hi.
又是我。-你好。
Me again. - Hi.
所以，你玩得很开心吗？
So, you been having fun?
你刚才问我玩得开心吗？
Did you just ask if I was having fun?
呃......是的？
Um... yes?
不！我没有玩得开心！
No! I'm not having fun!