珍禽假意（2001）

Uh, I am here on line 4.
好，请讲，这边是巴斯特·布兰登和杰克·汤姆林森博士
All right, go ahead. You're with Buster Bradlen and Dr. Jack Tomlinson.
我看见了
I've seen a…
我看见了一只怪鸟
I've seen a strange bird.
我想是鸭
A duck, I think.
嗯嗯，接着说
Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.
除此之外，你能多形容一下吗?
Could you offer us a little more than that?
是一只，一只鸭子，我想，正如我说的
Well, it's a… it's a duck, I think, as I said.
十分鲜艳的斑纹
Very colorful markings.
- 黄色斑纹 - 懂了，那么…
-Yellow markings. -I see. And…
你在哪看到这只鸟的?
where did you see this bird?
还有一撮白毛
And a white tuft.
好的，那你是在哪看到的?
Yes. And where did you see it?
噢，在，在…
Oh! On… on…
普什湾，紧靠普什斯鲁港
Push Cove right by Pushthrough.
哦，海里的
Oh, saltwater.
有点不同
That's different.
那里以前不是一间餐厅吗?
Isn't that where that restaurant used to be?
嗯，我想那间餐厅还健在
Yeah. I think the restaurant is still there.
你就看见一只吗?
Did you see just the one?
对
Yes.
那它是长时间地潜水，还是游到了岸边呢?
And did it dive for extended periods or come up near shore?
潜水？我没见它潜水，那个，那个
Dive, I didn't see it dive. It… it… it… it…
天渐渐黑了，离得又非常远
It was getting dark, it was very far away.
好吧，听起来不像是我所知的东西
Well, it doesn't sound like anything I know.
感谢来电，好了，2号♥线
Thank you, caller. All right, line 2…
该死
Shit.
我想知道，风暴过后是否出现过
I was wondering if a rose crested grebe…
玫瑰冠的鸊鷉?
has been seen since the storm?
那是一种…
That's a…
嘿，你干嘛不长眼睛?
Hey, why don't you get your head out of your ass?
- 你差点把我撞倒，混♥蛋♥ - 就是，怪胎
-You almost ran me over, shithead. -Yeah, freak.
杰克博士说…
Dr. Jack said…
快滚
Get out of here!
- 你得学学开车 - 见鬼
-You have to learn to drive! -Oh, my God.
大白♥痴♥
Idiot!
肯定被她们看见了
They saw me for sure.
活见鬼
Oh, my God.
我也瞧见了
I saw that too,
没错，大同小异
yeah. Tie.
是我从未见过的鸭子
She's like no duck I've ever seen.
一头扎进水里，后来又浮出水面
Go down below the water and come back
潜行了四五十英尺
uh, 40 or 50 feet away.
好的
Yes.
它们还上岸了
They come up on the beach, too.
前所未见，就，就…
Uh, never seen the like. It was… it was…
堂而皇之地走来走去，但
walking around all confident, but…
- 有点，有点摇摇晃晃 - 我的
-in… in a wobbly sort of way. -My…
天呐
God!
我们的
We have
两位听众所描述的东西，只可能是
two listeners describing what can only be
塔斯克硫磺…
Tasker's Sulphureous
- 鸭 - 老方！老方!
-Duck. -Phonce! Phonce!
这完全颠覆了认知
This changes the picture completely.
曾以为灭绝了
It was thought extinct
- 直到它现身费尔维尤山 - 灭绝?
-until there was a sighting in Fairview… -Extinct?
- 以为灭绝了? - 被著名鸟类学家
-Thought extinct? -…by the noted ornithologist,
汉斯·斯皮达尔博士发现
Dr. Hans Speidal.
老方！你在家吗?
Phonce! Are you home?
老方!
Phonce!
- 阿大 - 必须把车藏起来
-Dave! -Got to hide the car.
得藏起来，万一那俩女孩说出去，见鬼，肯定会
I've got to hide it, if those girls talk, Jesus, and they will, too.
- 阿大，冷静点 - 我撞上了电♥话♥亭
-Dave, calm down, man! -I crashed into the telephone booth,
全撞毁了
the whole thing obliterated.
- 冷静点 - 那俩女孩在盯着我
-Calm down! -Those girls, they were watching me.
- 冷静 - 我大概是慌了
-Calm down. -Panicked, I guess.
阿大
Dave,
一切天衣无缝
it was perfect!
最后，你表现得像个十足的傻瓜
In the end, you come across as a proper simpleton!
那是好事?
Why is that good?
好吧，他们绝不会对这样一个蠢货起疑
Well, they would never suspect a scheme from such an asshole.
现在
Now,
你说有女孩见你撞倒一个电♥话♥亭
you say that some girls saw you knock over a phone booth.
她们会报♥警♥，她们会通知电♥信♥局
They'll call the police, they'll call the phone company.
小女孩吗?
Were they young girls?
对，没错
Yeah, yeah.
她们不会说的
They'll never say anything.
大家会自然而然地认为她们与此有关
And everyone would automatically assume that they had something to do with it,
而你概不承认
and you would just deny it.
我是说，你跑进棒球场干什么?
I mean, what would you be doing up to the baseball diamond?
- 打给电台节目 - 阿大
-Calling the radio show! -Dave…
神探可伦坡住在洛杉矶
Columbo lives in Los Angeles,
是电视剧
which is on television.
你早有预谋了?
Were you always gonna call?
总得留后手，阿大
Always have a plan B, Dave.
总有意外情况
Always have a contingency.
老方，我要拉屎了
Phonce, I'm going to shit something awful!
哦，快去，进屋，伙计
Oh, go on. Go to the house, boy.
好
Yeah.
嘿，阿大，阿大
Hey, Dave! Dave.
这世上有两种人
There's two kinds of people in the world!
那些在危急关头
Those whose assholes seize up
菊花一紧的人和失禁的人
during a crisis and those who shit themselves.
闪电战中的温斯顿·丘吉尔
Winston Churchill during the Blitz for instance.
他用坚强的意志牢牢锁住括约肌
His sphincter locked with bulldog determination.
人们说他在不列颠战役中从不拉屎
They say he never shit during the entire Battle of Britain.
你找老方？一般这时候他已出门了
Are you looking for Phonce? He's usually up and gone by now.
不，不找老方
No, Phonce, no.
我就来看看，知道吗?
I'm just back seeing, you know?
那天晚上
Uh, the other night,
我想，我想我落下了我的，那个
I thought… I thought I left my, uh… Umm…
手表，所以嘛…
Watch, so…
阿大
Dave.
在
Yeah.
我能用卫生间了吗?
Could… Can I get in the bathroom now?
噢，是的，当然可以
Oh! Yeah, of course.
- 回头见 - 好
-See you later. -Yeah.
要帮忙吗?
Can I help you?
我，我为那只鸟而来
I… I come about the bird.
一只鸟，夫人?
A bird, madam?
噢，你还没听说?
Oh, you've not heard then?
电台里说的
It was on the radio.
礁石下面出现了一种无与伦比的奇观
There's been quite a remarkable sighting down off the rocks.
没有，好吧，我…
Uh, no, well, I've…
恕我孤陋寡闻
I've heard of no bird.
不过
But, uh…
我劝你小心那些礁石
I caution you about the rocks.
简直太令人激动了
It's all so exciting.
观鸟界将会对此非常热衷
The birding community is going to be very keen.
- 不介意的话，我把车停在你这里 - 这…
-If… if it's fine with you, I've parked in your lot. -The…
车位是给顾客用的
The lot is for customers.
我不知道你们还在营业
I had no idea you were still open.
那不如吃午饭吧?
Well, perhaps lunch then?
还有空桌的话
If you have a table.
- 相信我能为你安排 - 1点钟?
-I'm sure I could squeeze you in. -At 1:00?
行
Yeah.
祝你好运
Good luck in your quest.
抱歉，吃不了午餐
I'm sorry, I've nothing for lunch.
晚餐
Supper…
明天是可以的，对
Tomorrow is fine. Yeah.
是啊，真是门庭若市