百货战警2

莱恩 莱恩 你就是为了这个骗我
Lane? Lane? That's what this betrayal's about?
鸡肉莱恩
Chicken Chow Lane?
爸爸 大家都看着呢
Dad, people are looking.
她怎么了 玛雅
What happened to her, Maya?
永远不能撒谎的朴素女孩 她后来怎么了
What happened to the pristine girl who could never tell a lie?
小乔治华盛顿他结果如何
What happened to my little George Washington?
-乔治华盛顿 -他永远不撒谎
-George Washington? -He could never tell a lie.
戴着他的假发 不说假话
He was full truth in a powdered wig.
-我觉得你大题小做了 -真的
-I think you're overreacting. -Really?
你要什么时候跟我讲这个
And when were you gonna tell me about that?
-你在哪找到的 -请回答 玛雅
-Where did you find this? -Please, Maya,
我是个接受过高级训练的安防专家
I'm a highly trained security specialist.
你不要指望在我面前有秘密
You can't expect to keep secrets from me.
我没想过我会被录取的
I didn't think I'd get in.
我都不知道你申请那了
I didn't even know you applied there.
中♥央♥泽西技术青年学院呢
What happened to Central Jersey Applied Technical Junior College?
我们在说美国加州大学
We're talking about UCLA here.
我觉得我们在谈泽西技术青年学院
Yeah, I thought we were talking about CJATJC.
爸爸 你不懂
Dad, you don't understand.
我有机会去加利福尼亚
I have a chance to go to California.
玛雅 加利福尼亚 那太远了
Maya, California, it's too far away.
你这么想想
Well, think about it this way.
冬天 泽西很冷的时候 你可以来看我
You could come visit me in the wintertime when it's really cold in Jersey.
当然 如果我想感受下地震的烟雾的话
Of course I can, if I want some smog on my earthquake flakes!
知道吗 我想好了 我要去
You know what? I've decided. I'm going.
等等 等等 你才决定的
Wait, wait. You just decided?
你知道吗 你的决定被否决
Well, you know what? Decision overruled.
布拉特法官现在判决
Judge Blart now in session!
我知道你最近失去了很多 你害怕了
I know you've lost a lot lately, and you're scared,
可是你现在的所作所为是错的
but what you're doing right now is so wrong.
我要去加州大学
I'm going to UCLA.
玛雅 玛雅 你回来...
Maya, Maya, you get back...
玛雅
Maya.
保罗 我是不是打扰你了
Paul? I catch you at a bad time?
我想你见见我老婆
I want you to meet the wife.
-好 -见到你很高兴
-Okay. -Nice to meet you.
-见到你很高兴 -你老婆跟你一起来的
-Nice to meet you, yeah. -Are you here with your wife?
-跟女儿来的 -嗯
-Daughter. -Yeah.
这是她毕业之前我们最后一次旅行
It's our last trip together before she goes off to college.
打击啊
Crusher.
-我们是去年 -嗯
-Gosh, ours just went last year. -Yeah.
爱达荷也一样不开心
It was just as depressing as Idaho.
那种安静让人无法承受
Yeah, the silence was unbearable.
房♥子像座孤独冰冷的坟墓
I mean, the house was like a cold tomb of loneliness.
总之...
Anyway...
-我太难过了 -亲爱的
-I would get so sad. -Honey.
当你为了工作走了以后
When you would leave for work,
我很气莎拉克劳克兰 我走到她的柜子边
I would just fire up the Sarah McLachlan, walk into her closet
闻着她留下来的衣服的味道
and smell the sweaters that she left behind.
我闻着它们 闻着衣服
Yeah, I smell them. I smell the sweaters.
至少我还有这个天使陪我
Well, at least I have this little angel to get me through.
你能想像吗
I mean, can you imagine
-自己一个人扛过来 -我做不到
-trying to get through it alone? -No, I couldn't do it.
-做不到 -我这辈子也做不到
-Could not do it. -I could never do that alone.
-我爱你 -我也爱你
-I love you. -Love you, too.
真想早点见到你老婆
Can't wait to meet your wife.
-那会很棒的 -嗯
-Yeah, that'd be terrific. -Yeah.
-维加斯 宝贝 -我们去玩台子
-Vegas, baby! -Let's hit the tables!
如果你想给她修指甲还是干什么 打电♥话♥给我
Have her call me if you want to get her nails done or whatever.
好吧
All right.
出问题了
Problem?
他们把梵高的锁升级到双重控制了
They've already upgraded the lock on Mr. van Gogh to the dual control.
你说过明天才会升级的
You said the upgrades weren't scheduled till tomorrow.
保安的邮件里是那么说的
Because that is what the security e-mail said.
现在里面还有个我的人
Now, I do have a guy on the inside
如果计划有变 他应该通知我
who was supposed to alert me if the schedule changed.
显然 他没通知我
Obviously, he didn't.
解决方案
Options.
在同一时间 用熔断棒
We disable both controls at the exact same moment
破坏两个控制系统 这能做到
with a thermal lance. Now, it can be done,
但是会打乱计划
but that's gonna push us back.
好吧 在其余物品的锁被升级前 先搞定其它的
Okay. Let's switch out all the other pieces before the rest get upgraded.
然后专心在梵高上
Then we can focus on the van Gogh.
它是我们买♥♥家列的单子上的第一个 我要带着它走
It's number one on our buyer's list, and I am not leaving without it.
大家都听着
Everybody listen up.
要行动了
We're going now.
我们把梵高放在最后
Now, we're leaving the van Gogh for last,
纳迪亚负责协调新命令
so Nadia will coordinate the new order.
有人说 拉斯维加斯有最过硬的保安
They say Las Vegas has the best security in the world.
我们就来试试
Well, we're about to find out.
把知道内情的人都带过来
Bring me your guy on the inside.
-要我怎么做 -你不明白
-What'd I do? -You don't get it.
-你不懂 -什么
-You just do not get it. -Get what?
我说过你头发漂亮 牙齿美
I said you had nice hair and nice teeth.
-长官需要援助 -你没听见
-Officer needs assistance. -Don't you get it?
你笑起来像泥炭还有咖顺 我要吐了
You smell like peat moss and curry, and I think I'm gonna throw up.
你不想跟我约会
You don't want to go out with me?
在我看来 有两个人 需要登上和平的列车啊
Whoa. Seems to me like two nice people are trying to board the peace train,
不过她似乎已经不在轨道上了
but she seems to have derailed.
这个多毛 喝高了的业余警♥察♥
Look, this hairy, drunk rent-a-cop confused
分不清楚"滚"和"对我有意思"
"go away" for "hit on me."
-嘿...-夫人 这位帕内罗长官
-Hey... -Ma'am, Officer Panero here,
以我职业的角度来看 没有喝高
who, in my professional opinion, doesn't seem drunk,
险情分♥析♥的训练至少3年
has at least three years' training in distress recognition.
我相信 他认为 坐在一个很有魅力的女士身旁
I'm sure he sensed that an attractive lady sitting by herself
看上去会更加孤单一些
most likely seemed a bit lonely.
在你退到那堵 我们竖起来的墙后面之前
So before you retreat behind that wall we all put up,
要清楚 帕内罗警官是为你而来
just know that Officer Panero was here for you.
也许我太小题大做了
Maybe I overreacted.
而且他今晚要作发言人
And he's giving the keynote tonight.
-来此我很开心 -他喝高了
-Pleasure to be here. -He's blotto.
像上个哥伦布纪念日时 某人的妈妈
Sort of like someone's mother last Columbus Day.
你什么时候能忘了这个 那可是半箱红酒
Will you let it go? It was a half box of wine.
她很爱国的
She's very patriotic.
帕内罗肯定讲不了了
Well, there's no way Panero can go on.
我们需要个人可以代替的 接起绳子 来激励我们
We need a leader right now that can step up, take the reins and inspire us.
我懂
I understand.
我试过联♥系♥运输安♥全♥局♥的弗格森长官 可他关机了
I tried contacting Officer Ferguson from TSA, but he must have his phone off.
我都打累了
I mean, my hands are tied.
保罗
Paul?
你能代替他救场吗
Can you step up to the plate and save us?
我需要我的婚纱
I'm gonna need my dress whites.
快点
Come on.
-按您的盼咐 您的制♥服♥ 布拉格长官 -多谢
-Your uniform, as requested, Officer Blart. -Thank you very much.
给你
Here you go.
我是这里的经理 所以我不收小费
I am the general manager of this resort, so I don't take tips.
我平时也不会送干洗的衣服的
And I don't normally deliver dry cleaning either,
我只是...我想声明
but I just... I wanted to clarify
之前 我没有向你先迈步的意思
that I was not making advances towards you earlier,
永远不会
nor would I, ever.
我明白你控制不了自己
Look, I understand you have no control over this.
诚实就是迷人的秋葵
Integrity is a bewitching gumbo,
可是我现在要做准备 要去发言
but I'm preparing now, internally, to give the keynote.
要是你不反对 好吗
So if you don't mind, okay?
这太崩溃了
Look, this is crazy.
我有约会的对象
I'm actually dating someone.
拜托 假男朋友这种事 基本上是我发明的
Please, ma'am, I practically invented the fake boyfriend thing.
什么
What?
听着 你和我的人生边都不沾
Listen, you have no bearing on my life whatsoever.
你嘴巴出汗了 出汗了
Your lip is sweating. It's sweating.