母亲外出之夜

不想知道
Don't wanna know.
今晚不想知道 因为我爱大家
Not tonight, 'cause I love everybody.
我不想知道
I don't wanna know. I don't.
杀光他们
Destroy them all!
够了 你知道 童年朋友长大后会做什么
Okay, you know what childhood friends do eventually?
有话直说
Just say it.
-他们会长大 -好了
-They grow up. -There it is!
我们走
Let's go.
一晚就好 老兄
One night, dude!
好
Okay.
很好
Good.
我得深呼吸
I gotta breathe.
伊兹 深呼吸
Izzy. Breathe.
深呼吸
Breathe.
等等
Hold on!
这下好了
This is beautiful.
你怀孕了 糟糕
You're positive. Oh, crud!
我知道你会做得很好
I know you'll do great.
好 好吧 我有婴儿湿纸巾和尿布
Yeah. Okay, well, I mean, I have the wipies and I have the diapers.
没有红染料 因为我知道那会让他们抓狂
I've got no red dye, 'cause I know it drives them crazy, right?
但你说有三个紧急电♥话♥ 我只有两个 伊兹
But you said there were three emergency numbers. I only have two, Izzy.
-我只有...-别再怀疑自己
-I only... -Stop second-guessing yourself.
我没有
No, I'm actually not.
我对自己和我的爸爸责任 充满自信
I have full confidence in myself and my abilities as a father.
只有一个晚上 我相信你
See, it's one night. I believe in you.
你不应该相信我
And you shouldn't.
最惨能发生什么事
I mean, what's the worst thing that can happen?
重伤 死亡 可能残废
Serious injury, death, they could get maimed,
我可能失去两个孩子
I could lose both children!
这里好热 我感觉...要找人修一下冷气
It's getting hot in here! I feel... We gotta get the air looked at.
祝好运
So, good luck.
-你好美 -好 我要豁出去玩
-You look gorgeous. -Okay. I wanna have crazy fun.
-了解 是 太太 走吧 -马上带我离开
-Got it. Yes, ma'am. Let's go. -Get me out of here. Now.
你刷谁的信♥用♥卡♥买♥♥这些衣服
Whose credit cards did this all go on?
不行 你不能穿那种衣服
Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. You are never wearing those.
除非我死了 要是我死了 我的信♥用♥卡♥也不能刷
Over my dead body, and my credit cards won't work if I'm dead.
-但我的朋友都这样穿 -真的吗
-But everybody's wearing them. -Really?
我和你♥爸♥没有那样穿 谢天谢地
Well, I'm not wearing them and your father's not wearing them. Thank God.
-你好 -等我一下
-Hi! -I'll just be a second.
好
Okay.
天啊 爱莉也没有那样穿
Oh, wow. Ally's not wearing them.
-要开谁的车 -能开雷的跑车吗
-So, whose car are we taking? -Can we take Ray's?
我不能被人看见 开着雷的中年危机满街跑
I can't be seen riding around in Ray's midlife crisis,
反正 那容易被拦检
and anyway, it's a cop magnet.
对不起 我要和教会认识的男生出去
I am so sorry that I wanna go out with a guy that I met from church!
我真爱玩 好疯狂
How wild of me. Wow, I'm so crazy!
-等一下 -好
-Hold on. -Okay.
好 在你♥爸♥回家前 你给我好好待在家里
Okay. You are not going anywhere until your father gets home
他回家会同意我说的话 祝你好运
and he's gonna agree with me when he gets home, so good luck with that.
-我好了 -太好了
-Here I come. -Oh, yeah. Oh, good! Okay.
音响刚还能听
It was working a minute ago.
为什么断断续续的
Why does it keep cutting out?
因为我的女儿 把苹果汁撒到上面
Well, because my daughter spilled apple juice all over it.
你只要...
Here, you just have to...
-太大声 -音量也故障了
-Kind of loud! -The volume doesn't really work either.
很好
Yes.
放CD呢
What about a CD?
你有艾美·格兰特吗
Do you have any Amy Grant?
让我看看
Okay, let me check.
不要 别碰那个
Oh, no! No, don't touch that!
以前发生过这种事 没事
This happened once before. It's fine.
我学会26个字母了
Well, now I know my ABC's.
好消息是我们有好停车位 就在路灯下
Hey, good news is we got a great parking spot. Right under the light.
-最安全的地方 -对 我有看那个博客
-Safest place. -Yeah. I read that blog.
忘记责任 家里交给我们
我们很好 玩的很开心
忘记责任 我们懂的
在写短消息
谢谢
姐♥妹♥们♥
You know what, ladies?
今晚是我们的夜晚
Tonight is our night
我们风韵犹存
and we look good.
-去餐厅吧 -好
-Let's do it. -Let's do it.
你好 欢迎光临 谢马吉克法式餐厅用餐
Hello, welcome to Chez Magique. Your journey awaits you.
菲尔 三位
Field, party of three.
好 请问你姓什么
Okay, what is your name?
菲尔
Field.
我找不到你的订位资料
I cannot seem to find your reservation on my scroll.
对不起
Sorry.
但我...
But I...
只要等两个半小时 完全值得
It's only a two-and-a-half-hour wait. Totally worth it.
你能先去参观艺廊
And during that time, you're more than welcome to observe the art in the gallery.
我不想参观艺廊
I don't want to observe art.
我知道 很累人吧
I know. It's really exhausting, right?
我找餐厅 排时间 我还有优待券 我有订位
Look, I scouted, I planned, I got the Groupon, I made a reservation.
我所有事都做好了 所以一定有错误
I did everything required of me, so there must be some mistake.
这样好了 不如我去后面问幻影一下
How about this? Why don't I go back and talk to my visionary for you?
你的什么
Your what?
-我的经理 -好
-My manager. -Yeah.
请稍等 好吗
Just wait here, 'Kay?
-一切还好吧 -他们漏掉我们的订位
-Is everything okay? -No, they lost our reservation.
要等两个半小时
The wait is two and a half hours.
这会毁了我们的夜晚
This is going to completely ruin our night.
不会的 不会有事的
No, no. You know what? Everything is gonna be okay.
有个长不大的男人 在家里和我的儿子
There is a man-child playing death video games at home
打死亡电动 我...
with my son. I'm just... You know what...
爱莉 放轻松 我相信西恩会搞定所有事
Ally, Ally. Relax. I'm sure Sean has everything under control.
放心
Relax.
我想像家里会发生的事
I've played it all out.
现在 我敢说他和小孩
Right now, I bet he's playing some game with the kids,
在玩官兵抓强盗
like cops and robbers,
结果情况大失控
and it's gotten totally out of control.
-情况失控 西恩 -才怪
-This is out of control, Sean! -It's not out of control!
情况完全失控
This is totally out of control. It's out of control.
才没有
No, it's not.
我看不见小孩
I can't see the kids.
家里像被子弹打过 布兰登在打死亡电动
And the house is a wreck and Brandon is playing death video games.
我知道你能搞定
I know you can do it!
你不知道自己在做什么 我们都一样
You may not have any sense of what you're doing. None of us do!
我没想到会变成这样
I didn't sign up for this. I did not sign up for this.
我敢说马可吓得半死 情绪崩溃
And I bet Marco is all freaked out and overwhelmed,
西恩给他《英雄本色》 激励人心的演讲
and Sean is giving him the Braveheari speech.
你要勇敢
This is your moment!
我告诉你
Let me tell you something, okay?
当爸爸要硬起来
Fatherhood's about manning up!
其中一个双胞胎被电动吓昏
And one of the twins is in a video game coma,
会害他晚上做恶梦
which will make him have nightmares
星期一伊兹会对我发火
and will make Izzy mad at me on Monday.
我都想好了
I've played it all out.
乔伊
Joey?
-你好 爱莉森 -你好
-Hi, Allyson. -Hi.
你没带小孩 我都认不出你
I didn't recognize you without your kids.
你来这里做什么
What are you doing here?
我有约会
Just meeting somebody.
我们只是来吃晚餐 闺密聚会
We're just having dinner. Little girls' night.
对 布莉姬告诉我了
Yeah, yeah. Bridget told me.
不行 佐伊 我说过你不能开你♥爸♥的车
No, Zoe. I told you, you cannot take your father's car.
如果你知道要去哪里
And if you know where you're going,
为什么不直接告诉我
why don't you just tell me where it is?
对 就是这么简单
Yeah, it is so simple.
祝你今晚愉快
Have a nice night.
好
OKay.
如果你碰到布莉姬 别告诉她你遇到我 好吗