母亲外出之夜

Honey, I'm listening to you. I'm sitting here and I am listening to you.
我知道你在听
I know, I know you're listening.
我懂你的意思
And I'm hearing you.
你会耳脑并用 边听边懂
You doing both of those things? Listening and hearing?
对 我很有天分
I am. I'm very talented.
-你有天分 -对
-You are talented. -Yes, I am.
我有表现明显的进步 你要肯定我的努力
I'm showing marked improvement. You have to give me that.
-我...-我要肯定
-I'm... I... -I want credit.
那是谁
Who is that?
应该是布莉姬
That'll be Bridget.
什么
What?
我打电♥话♥给布莉姬 请她过来吃晚饭 结果忘了
Yeah, I called Bridget and invited her to dinner, and then I forgot.
晚饭
Dinner?
-对 -开门 倒霉夫妻
-Yeah. -Open up, you community of losers.
-我饿了 -没关系 就...
-I'm hungry. -It's okay. Just...
没事 随便煮个几道菜
You know, it's fine. We'll just whip something up.
-随便煮个几道菜 -对
-We'll just whip something up? -Yeah.
好 因为那通常没好下场 我们要一起煮
Yeah, 'cause that's usually how that happens. We do it together.
期待和你一起 随便煮个几道菜
Looking forward to whipping something up with you, together.
快上菜 快快
Wind it up! Whoop, whoop!
这是西恩同父异母的妹妹 布莉姬
This is Sean's half-sister, Bridget.
布莉姬 西恩同父异母的妹妹
布莉姬很爱搞僵气氛 布莉姬口无遮拦
Bridget says awkward things. Bridget has no filter.
我还没吃完
Hey, I'm not done with that!
放回来
Give it back.
好消息 我找到新工作了
So, great news. I got a new job.
我们有点缺钱
We needed a little more,
所以我在保龄球馆兼夜班
so I picked up a night shift at a bowling alley.
很好
Cool.
真是太好了
That is unbelievably cool.
糟糕 来了 她知道我有照顾强迫症
Oh, no. Here it comes. She knows I compulsively take care of people.
相互依赖金字塔
我的小孩 她的小孩或其他小孩 公园的陌生小孩 流浪动物
我不能拒绝
I can't say no.
从星期六晚上开始
I start on Saturday night
希望你能帮我看菲尼克斯
and I was hoping you could watch Phoenix while I work.
星期六晚上
Saturday night?
平常可以
Yeah, normally, yes.
但很高兴你提起
But I'm actually glad you brought
因为我有安排妈妈之夜
that up because I planned this moms' night thing.
-什么 -星期六
-You what? -For Saturday.
-你有安排妈妈之夜 -没错
-You planned a moms' night? -I did. I planned one.
你周末都会帮我看菲尼克斯
You always babysit Phoenix on the weekends.
我是靠你才找到工作
I was sort of counting on you when I got the job.
对...
Yeah...
你知道空服员 示范逃生安全动作吗
You know when a flight attendant goes through the safety thing?
你知道她们说 你自己要先戴好氧气罩
You know when they say you have to put on your oxygen mask first
-再协助其他乘客吗 -我们要搭机吗
-before assisting others? -Are we flying somewhere?
-这是...-对 你要先顾好自己
-Is this what we're... -Yeah. Yeah, you need your oxygen mask.
你自己要先戴好氧气罩 再协助其他乘客
You have to have your mask on before assisting others.
-对吗 才能帮助别人 -西恩 我们懂
-Right? Before you can help others! -Wow, Sean. We get it!
这个比喻 我们...都懂
It's a metaphor. I think we both... We got it.
这个比喻很好 谢谢你提出来
It's a very good metaphor. Thank you for pointing that out.
不客气
You're welcome.
-你要去...-星期六
-You will go... -Saturday.
-星期六晚上 你要去 -星期六晚上
-Saturday night. You will go Saturday night. -Saturday night.
-星期六晚上 真的 -星期六晚上
-Saturday night? Really? -Saturday night. It's Saturday.
糟糕 西恩不能在星期六晚上
Oh, no! Sean can't play video games on Saturday night
和他的衰朋友打电动
with his loser friends.
首先 那样很低级 你根本不认识凯文
First of all, that's low. You don't even know Kevin.
我认识凯文
I know Kevin.
凯文是西恩的朋友
Kevin is Sean's friend.
西恩和凯文从小五就认识
Sean met Kevin when they were in the fifth grade.
他们青少年时开始打电动
They started playing video games as juveniles.
现在还是像青少年打电动
They still play video games like juveniles.
别站在我后面 移过去
Don't stand right behind me, move over!
疯潘3000 胖鳍
疯潘3000
不行 后退
No, no, no, no, no. Back up, back up.
我死了
I just died.
凯文讨厌小孩
Kevin hates kids.
-我讨厌小孩 -才怪
-Well, I hate kids. -You don't hate kids.
我讨厌小孩
I hate kids.
西恩替这个关系找理由
Somehow Sean justifies this relationship.
不是我射死你 是你后面那个人射死你
No, I didn't shoot you. The guy behind you shot you.
我靠打电动宣泄工作压力 那是我的氧气
I use video games to transition from work stress. That's my oxygen!
我先戴好 才打电动 我能帮你戴好氧气罩
I put mine on, video, I can help you put yours on,
然后你能帮助其他人
and then you can help the rest of the world.
谢谢
Thank you.
谁要看小孩 乔伊呢
Who's gonna watch the baby? What about Joey?
乔伊是布莉姬的前男友 他很好笑
Joey is Bridget's ex. He's a fun guy.
乔伊 少男爸爸
如果你喜欢不给承诺 讨厌各种责任的人
In a non-committal, allergic to all responsibility kind of way.
不行 我问过了
No. I tried that.
这样好了 你出去玩 我来看菲尼克斯
Here's the thing, you're going out and I'm gonna watch Phoenix.
-你要看菲尼克斯 -对
-You're gonna watch Phoenix? -I will watch Phoenix.
大哥帮妹妹天经地义 皆大欢喜
Big brother to the rescue once again and everybody's happy.
我不要你的施舍 更不要你的比喻
I don't need your charity and I certainly don't need your metaphors.
我要走了
So I'm gonna go
让你上♥床♥睡觉 因为那是负责任的事
get you to bed 'cause that's the responsible thing to do.
因为我很负责任
'Cause I'm so responsible.
再见
Later.
再见
See you later.
找你的氧气罩 你会找到的
Look for your oxygen! You'll find it!
情况还算顺利
Thought that went well.
还有马可要把双胞胎带过来
And also, Marco's bringing the twins over
因为他害怕一个人看两个
because he's afraid to watch them alone.
-什么 -惊喜 对不起
-What? -Surprise! Sorry.
好多小孩
That's a lot of kids.
星期六 恢复自♥由♥身
好美
Wow.
老婆
Wow, honey,
你好美
you look amazing.
你确定今晚可以吗
Are you sure tonight's okay?
因为我又开始内疚...
Because I'm starting to feel guilty again...
-没事 -可以吗
-it's fine! -That's okay?
-当然没事 -好
-Come on! Yes! -Okay.
你要尽情去玩
You're gonna have fun, all right?
-家里交给我 -好
-I've got this, all right? -Okay.
除非有天灾 我才会打电♥话♥给你
I'm not gonna call you unless there's a natural disaster
到时我也许不能连络你
and then I might not even call you, okay?
就算房♥子飞上天 我也不会打电♥话♥去吵你
The house could be flying, I'm not calling you at that point.
-答应我一件事 -好
-Promise me you'll do one thing. -Okay.
答应我你会尽力...
Promise me that you'll do whatever it takes to...
忘记所有责任 好好放松
To unplug and just breathe.
我答应你
I promise.
凯文
Kevin!
爱莉森
Allyson.
-凯文 -对 凯文要来
-Kevin? -Yeah, Kevin's coming.
-什么 -他会帮忙看小孩
-What? -He's gonna help with the kids.
他也许会帮忙
He might help with the kids.
他是来帮我 他今晚没事
He's here to help. I think he had a free night.
凯文要看小孩
Kevin is babysitting?
不是 我会看小孩 凯文只是来陪我
No, no, no, no. I'm babysitting. Kevin's just here.
胖鳍 进来大战八百回合
Get in here, Stout Flipper. Let's do this.
什么
What?
他的游戏代号♥
His gamertag.
请告诉我
Please tell me
你不会打那种暴♥力♥电动...
you are not going to be playing those violent video games...
-双杀 -和我们的儿子
-Double kill! -With our son!
你要定义暴♥力♥的意思
You know what? You're gonna have to define violence
因为你买♥♥给他的乐高游戏
because that Lego game you got him,
那些乐高人物碎成碎片 那很变♥态♥
those characters shatter into, like, a million pieces, and that is sick.
-什么 -对吗 深呼吸
-What? -Right? Okay? Just breathe.