国际瀑布城

都处理好了
Well, uh, we're all set, uh.
大概中午会有人来取 这小家伙就上路了
They'll pick this up around noon and, uh, off she goes.
非常感谢
Thanks so much.
祝今日顺利
Have a blessed day.
顺利
Yes.
天啊 还是很冷
No, it's still cold.
这也太冷了
Come on!
好吧 接下来去哪
Yeah. All right, where to?
-散散步 -操 我不去 太他妈冷了
- Uh, let's go on a walk. - No, fuck you, it's too cold.
你穿着个夏季外套
Well, you know, you're wearing a summer coat
待在全国最冷的地方
in the middle of the ice box of the nation.
这是我过冬的外套
This is my winter coat.
我有个办法
You know what?
-等我一下 -别去
- Hang on. - No.
别 别留我一个人
No, don't leave me.
别去
No.
咪♥咪♥要冻掉了
Ah, my nipples.
好了 把这个穿上
Okay, here, put this on.
太好了 我差点以为你死里面了
Oh, thank God, I thought you died.
他们就这么送你了吗
They just gave that to you?
不是 里边有个纸箱
No, there's basically a cardboard box
里面装的都是外套什么的
full of coats and stuff in every building
国际瀑布城每个楼里都有
in International Falls.
所以这件外套也许是死人穿过的 或者
So this just belonged to, like, a dead guy or, like, a
-走失青少年穿过的吗 -不知道 有可能
- missing teenager or something? - I don't know, could be.
-穿好了 -暖和点了吗
- Okay. - Better?
-差不多了 暖和点了 -那走吧
- Getting there, getting there. - Okay, let's go.
-但我现在有点担心那个青少年 -应该的
- But I'm worried about that missing teenager. - Yeah.
既然是国际瀑布城
So, International Falls.
那瀑布在哪
Where's the falls?
这儿没有瀑布
Oh, we don't have any falls.
这里像个美丽的圣诞小镇
Yeah, this is like a beautiful little Christmas village.
-像吗 -不像
- You think? - No.
什么味 附近有造纸厂吗
What is that, a paper mill?
是啊 很臭
Yeah. I mean, it stinks.
搞得这像个巨大的充满屁味的城市
It smells like one, like, one giant fart city.
市政♥府♥没考虑过改名叫屁城吗
Did they ever think about changing the name to Fart City?
我有个想法 下次市议会的时候
You know what? I'm going to bring
我要把这个建议提上去
that up at our next council meeting.
应该提
You should.
来了 终于来了一阵风
Oh, there it is, there's the wind right there.
舒服多了
Oh, that's nice.
我的鸡儿刚才冻掉了
Oh, my dick fell off.
你好
Hi, how are you.
用力蹬 你骑得很好
Okay, go! Go, you're doing great!
不是吧
No!
博物馆群
康契钦历史
和布朗克·南格斯基
[著名橄榄球运动员]
是树把你帽子刮掉的吗
Oh, did it pull it off your head?
对 应该把这些树都砍了 太操蛋了
Yeah, they should cut these trees down. This is bullshit.
或者你应该弯下腰 你多久没洗头了
Or you could duck. When was the last time you washed your hair?
河对面就是加拿大了
So, that's Canada across the river there.
天啊 太美了
Gosh, that's beautiful.
你看
See?
我的 妈呀
Oh, my God.
我们能去个暖和的地方吗
Can we please go somewhere warm?
-可以 -谢了
- Yeah. - Please.
我想到了个地方
Yeah, I got an idea.
现在
Okay.
解开安全带 然后把车窗摇下来
Uh, take off your seatbelt and roll down the windows.
-为啥 -上了这条路 就得这么做
- Why? - It's rules of the road.
这样出去以后容易适应 以免直接冻僵
It's easier to get out in case we go under.
-你认真的吗 -认真的
- Are you serious? - Yeah.
操
Shit.
冰路开放
限敞蓬小型载货卡车
最大载重 7000磅
你游泳游得挺好的吧
You're a good swimmer, yeah?
不 一点都不好
No, I'm not a good swimmer.
你认真的吗
Are you serious?
你明白吧 一旦我们下车了
So, you know, if we go down
你就得靠自己了
there's no way I can, I can help you.
-帮帮我 -因为你
- Please help me. - Because you're...
帮帮我吧
Please help me.
太吓人了
This is really scary.
很美的
It is beautiful.
你带我到这来是为了杀了我吗
Are you taking me out here to kill me?
是啊
Yes.
我就知道
I knew it.
为什么要停车
Why are we stopping?
马上你就知道了
You'll see.
你要去哪
Where are you going?
别丢下我
Don't leave me!
这儿可真暖和
Yeah, this is warm.
外面可真暖和
It's toasty out here.
听过一句话没有"如果不喜欢这天气
Well, you know what they say. If you don't
五分钟以后再看"
like the weather, give it five minutes.
-有这么句话吗 -有的
- Oh, is that what they say? - Yeah, yep.
真好笑
That's hilarious.
你知道她的事吗 名字什么的
So, do you know her name or anything?
那个小三
The other woman.
知道 我遇到过她几次
Yeah, I met her a couple of times.
她跟我丈夫是同事 叫辛西娅吧 好像
She works with my husband, her name is I think.
辛西娅吗
Cynthia?
对
Yeah.
真♥他♥妈♥是个破名字
That's a stupid fucking name.
是吧 我也觉得
It is, right?
你认识哪个叫辛西娅的酷女孩吗
Have you ever met, like, a cool Cynthia?
没有人认识
No, nobody has.
你怎么想的
So, what do you think?
-打算怎么做 -做什么
- How you gonna do it? - Do what?
你想弄死她吧
You want to kill her, right?
当然不想
No!
其实想
Yeah.
也许 用碎木机杀了她怎么样
Maybe like a... like a wood chipper situation.
你没看过《冰血暴》吗
You never saw Fargo?
美国惊悚悬疑电影
-用枪呢 -不要
- How about a gun? - Nope.
你认识有枪的人吗
Do you know anyone that has a gun?
-认识 -那好 借来用
- Oh, yeah. - Okay, great, so you can get one.
-也是啊 -好 接下来这么做
- Yeah. - All right, here's what you're going to do.
你去搞把枪 崩了她
You get a gun, you shoot her,
别打头 也别打脸 冲着腹部开枪
not in the head or the face, in the gut.
特别痛苦 要很长时间才会流血致死
Hurts real bad and takes a long time to bleed out.
关于天气那句话 你说得对
You were right about the weather.
你不是生在这里 那你生在哪
So, where are you from if you're not from here?
我从小在这长大的
I was raised here.
-你之前说不是 -我撒谎了
- You said you weren't. - I lied.
这有什么好撒谎的
Well, why would you lie about that?
因为那会你说你上过
Because at the time you said you'd been
HBO和喜剧中♥央♥
on HBO and Comedy Central.
不是 我是说我从小就在这
Yeah, no, no, I mean, I was raised here. I, uh...
从小到大都在这 在这遇见的我丈夫
I grew up here, I met my husband here,
我们一起上大学
we went to college together.
-然后我们决定结 -对不起
- Then we decided we'd stay... - I'm so sorry,
这是个巨无聊的故事
this is a very boring story.
你得加点料再讲给听众
You got to spice it up for the listener.
昨晚 我听你的节目 你一直讲啊讲啊
Okay, I listened to your set last night go on and on and on...
舞台上的故事吗 编好的
On stage, that's just my material.
我跟你说过的 基本都是编的
It's mostly lies, I told you.
那给我讲点东西吧
Well, then tell me something.
讲什么
What?