哈罗德和紫色蜡笔（2024）

它有毒 - 你怎么会画成有毒的
It's poisonous. - Why did you make it poisonous?
阿罗
Harold?
好冷
It's cold.
我要请你帮我画件外套
I need you to draw me a jacket.
紫色
Purple!
他来过这里
He's been here.
嘿 朋友
Aw. Hey, friend.
天啊 拇指真好用
Wow, this is real power.
这件可以
That'll do.
哈啰 美女
Hello, beautiful.
嘿 不管你是谁 我报♥警♥了
Hey, whoever's down there, I called the cops.
他们快到了
They're on their way.
那是什么
What was that?
我们每天都会吃这个
We have it every day.
史上最好吃
The best ever.
早安 泰芮
Oh, good morning, Terry!
这些派是哪来的
Where'd those pies come from?
阿罗做的
Harold made them.
好吧 不能吃派当早餐
Okay, well, pies are not breakfast.
我会假装没听到你刚刚说的话
I'mma pretend I didn't hear what you just said.
派当然可以当早餐
Pie is definitely breakfast. Right.
好
Okay.
我家变成紫色的了
My house is purple.
对…
Oh, yeah-yeah, yeah.
你说需要重新粉刷
Well, you said it needed some new paint,
所以我就让颜色鲜艳一点
so I thought I would make it more cheerful
这样你就不会一直闷闷不乐
and then you wouldn't be so unhappy all the time.
妈 阿罗会变魔法
Mom, Harold can do magic.
他什么都办得到
He can literally make anything.
我不会说这是魔法 更像是科学
Uh, I wouldn't call it magic, per se. It's more of a science.
我一直想保密
I've been trying to keep it a secret,
但有了这个玩意
but with this little guy,
我基本上能办到所有我想做的事
I can basically make whatever I want.
好 能跟你谈谈吗
Okay, can we talk for a sec?
是这样的 我本来就要应付
Okay. Um, I'm already dealing with,
我儿子虚构的
like, an imaginary dragon-lizard-lion
龙蜥狮了
situation right now,
可以不要再跟我扯什么魔法蜡笔吗
so can we not do magic crayons, please?
可以…当然 好 泰芮
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, sure, Terry.
好 太棒了
Okay. Great.
我要帮阿罗找他爸
Mom, I need to help Harold look for his dad.
不行 你要去上学
Oh, no. You need to go to school.
我也要去上班
And I need to go to work.
这些人该走了 他们必须离开
And these guys gotta go. They gotta go.
好吗 别再吃派了 大家都出门吧
Okay? Time to stop eating pie. We all have to leave.
别吃派了 说再见
No more pie. Say bye.
嘿 梅尔
Hey, Mel.
真的要给我 - 对
Really? - Yeah.
谢谢
Thanks.
再见 梅尔 祝你有愉快的一天
Bye, Mel. Have a good day.
谢谢 泰芮 - 不会
Thank you, Terry. -Yep.
再见 - 再见
Bye. -Bye.
好 我们去找你♥爸♥
All right, let's find your dad.
等等 你不用上学吗
Wait, don't you have to go to school?
我要走去学校啊
I am going to school.
只是绕远路去
Just by a super-long indirect way.
谢了 梅尔 - 对啊
Thanks, Mel. - Yeah.
真希望我们能多吃点派
Wish we had more of that pie.
不行…
Yeah, no. No, no, no.
听着 我们得尊重你妈定的规矩
Listen, we gotta respect your mom's rules.
不能再吃派了
No more pie.
阿罗 你真天才
Harold, you are a genius.
这比派好多了 - 对啊
This is way better than pies. - Yeah.
如果我们要找到你♥爸♥ 就得想个计划
Look, if we're gonna find your dad, we need a plan.
哪需要什么计划
I'm way ahead of you.
直接去找年纪大的男人就好
We're just gonna walk around, looking for old men.
会有多难
How hard could that be?
老爹 - 不对 他是…
Old Man! - No, that's--
老爹 是我 阿罗啊
Old Man! It's me! It's Harold!
你说谁老 废物
Who you calling old, punk!
抱歉 佩雷兹先生
Sorry, Mr. Perez.
这比我想像的难多了
Oh, this is... This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought.
也许我们得想个更好的计划
Maybe we need to come up with a better plan.
"想找资料就来这里"
"Place to go when you need to know anything"?
就是那 我们要去那边
That's it, that's what we do.
图书馆 走路去要走很久
The library, it's kind of a long walk.
"走路" 谁说要用走的
"Walk"? Who said walk?
你们慢一点 等等我
Wait, guys! Wait for me!
等等 我这只驼鹿穿着滑轮溜冰鞋
Wait a minute, I'm a moose on roller skates!
我在溜冰
I'm doing it!
我好像掌握到诀窍了 并没有
Oh, I think I'm getting the hang of it! No, I don't! Aah!
别那么快 等等
No, wait!
好耶
Oh, yeah.
哇 哇
Whoa, whoa...
我们走
Let's go!
哦 - 怎么了
Ugh. - What's wrong?
你等一下就知道
You'll see.
"巫师冈达德摩尔笑道:'长柄刀"
'The Glaive,' chortled the sorcerer Gondaldemor.
是宇宙中最强大的武器
'It's the most powerful weapon in the universe.
只有傻瓜才敢使用'
Only a fool would dare wield it.'
他向前一步
He stepped forward,
腹肌溅起液态石头般的波纹
his abs rippling like liquid stone,
上头的胸肌像两颗坚不可摧的巨石
his pecs set upon them like two impenetrable boulders,
唯一像人类之处 只有那一对形状完美
only distinguishable as human... ...by the perfectly shaped
却阳刚的乳♥头♥闪着光芒"
yet masculine nipples they flaunted.
我们走 - "'我叫噶盖洛'"
Let's go. - 'The name's G'Garaur.'"
真精采
Amazing.
掌声送给
A big round of applause
我们图书馆的馆长盖瑞纳威克
for our head librarian, Gary Natwick,
为我们朗读他的小说…
reading from his novel...
她离开了
She's gone.
《什么什么的长柄刀》
...The Glaive of G'Ga--
噶盖洛 没那么难念
G'Garaur. It's not that hard.
对不起 - 算了
I'm sorry. - Okay.
梅尔 嗨 谢谢你来
Ah. Mel, hi. Thanks for coming.
这是梅尔虚构的龙
And hi, Mel's imaginary dragon thingy.
你在摸它的屁♥股♥
You're touching his butt.
对不起
Sorry.
他们是我的朋友阿罗和驼鹿
These are my friends Harold and Moose.
阿罗和驼鹿
Harold and Moose?
对 我最近外表变了不少
Yes, I've changed quite a bit recently,
但我内心还是一样
but I'm still the same inside.
我是素食主义者 很敏捷又很温驯
You know, I'm vegetarian, I'm pretty nimble, I'm docile.
最棒的一点是
But the greatest thing about me is
我天生喜欢游荡
I'm a wanderer by nature.
这就是我接下来要做的事情
And that's what I'm about to do.
到处游荡
Some wandering.
慢慢逛吧
Enjoy.
一共有几页
Uh, how many pages is that?
七百多页
Seven hundred pages.
真多页
That is so many pages.
一定花了好几个星期才写完
That must have taken you weeks to write.
花了好几个月 朋友
Try months, my friend.
我准备送到各大出版社
I'm currently shopping it to publishers.
应该会有人抢着出版
There's probably going to be a bidding war.
梅尔 这一张看起来好像你妈
Mel. That looks just like your mom.
不是
No.
她是泽芮 我的战士女王
That's Zerry, my warrior queen.
我是说噶盖洛的战士女王
I mean G'Garaur's warrior queen.
你美丽的母亲好吗 帮我转告她图书馆长盖瑞向她问好
How is your beautiful mother? Tell her hi from Library Gary.