周年快乐（2018）

你才刚用那玩意制♥造♥出孩子
You just made a baby with that thing.
-嗨 -嗨
- Hey. - Hey.
-谁传简讯给你？ -没什么
- Who's texting you? - It was nothing.
真的吗？因为好像有很多封简讯
Really? 'Cause it seemed like a lot of texts.
对 是我妈在抱怨我爸
Yeah, it's just my mom complaining about my dad.
相信我 她一定会传很多封
Believe me, that doesn't fit into one text.
这一封就够了
Yet this does.
不…山姆
No. Hey, Sam.
-别说了 -没发生任何事
- Don't. - Nothing is going on.
你喜欢我是因为我很聪明 所以别把我当白♥痴♥
You liked me because I'm smart, so don't treat me like a fucking idiot.
今天我在医院碰到他 但什么事都没发生
I ran into him at the hospital today, but nothing happened.
是还没发生 因为你没有拒绝他 对吗？
Yet. Yet. Because you didn't say no, did you?
你说：“现在不是时候”
You said, “Now is not the time,”
意思是以后就是时候了
meaning that sometime in the future, that would be the time.
你骑驴找马 才能跟他旧情复燃
You're leaving the door open so you could rebound right onto him.
-什么？ -因为你永远都在骑驴找马
- What? - Because with you, the door's always open.
-你太扯了 -一点都不扯
- You are being ridiculous. - I'm not being ridiculous.
你为何会偷看我的iPad？
Why were you looking at my iPad in the first place?
我没有 我只是站在那里 一根阴♥茎♥就出现了
I wasn't. I was standing there, and a dick fucking popped up.
我没有骑驴找马
I wasn't leaving the door open.
即使我有 你能怪我吗？ 目前我们的感情又不太好
If I had, would you blame me? We're not in the best place.
哇 好吧 再见 莫莉
Wow. All right. Bye, Moll.
你敢说从没想过前女友吗？
You've honestly never thought about another ex before?
-她叫什么？乔姬？ -乔琪雅
- What was her name? Georgie? - Georgia.
好 所以你从没想过乔琪雅吗？
Okay. You've never thought about fucking Georgia?
-没有 -拜托
- No. - Oh, come on!
-我没有 -好 尽管说谎吧
- I haven't. - Fine, lie to yourself.
我从来没有想过跟她上♥床♥
I haven't thought about fucking her!
山姆 有邻居
Sam, the neighbors.
干 叫邻居去死 你也去死吧
Fuck, fuck the neighbors! And fuck you.
你要知道我的想法吗？
You want to know what I think about?
我在想若我跟乔琪雅在一起 生活会有多正常
I think about how normal my life would have been with Georgia.
我在想世界上少了莫莉曼吉尼会如何
I think about a world free of fucking Mollie Mangini
以及她的疯狂跟鬼话
and her craziness and her bullshit.
我想到乔琪雅 多希望我有勇气忍♥受平淡 因为老实说
I think back to Georgia and I wish I had the balls to stay bored, because,
无论怎样都比这场闹剧好得多
honestly, it would be a lot better than whatever the fuck this is!
这是一个玩笑吗？
Are you fucking kidding me?
薇拉呢？
Where's Willa?
薇拉…
Hey, Willa. Willa?
我非常抱歉
I am so sorry.
我很欣赏你们的热情 真的
I appreciate your passion, truly.
请在我儿子走出来之前离开
Now remove yourselves before my son walks through those doors.
你能不能让我…
If you'd just let me…
不 我不能
No, I can't just.
你们明天再打给我吧
Why don't you call me tomorrow.
好 我们何不…
Okay. Why don't we…
好的…
Okay. Okay.
好的…
Okay, okay.
好的…
Okay, okay.
你知道吗？明天我就打给你
You know what? I'll give you a call tomorrow.
你的助理会写下来 然后你永远不会回电
Your assistant will write it down. You'll never call back.
我没有从14岁开始就当模特儿 但我也不是昨天才出生
I may not have been a model when I was 14, but I wasn't born yesterday.
我知道被拒绝的感觉
I know what it feels like to get blown off.
所以你知道吗 薇拉？你去死吧
So you know what, Willa? You know what? Fuck you!
你去死
Oh, fuck, fuck you!
你从头到脚都去死吧
Fuck it all!
我要你从里到外都死得彻底
Fuck you up your goddamn skirt through your eyeballs!
你先闭嘴
Shut up for a second.
我才不要让我们的艺术 被嚣张又冷酷的公主上网零售
I don't want our art e-tailed by some hipster icy princess anyway.
所以你带着那傲慢的态度滚开吧
So just in your fucking eyes and out your goddamn asshole!
你跟那个女孩闹翻了？
Didn't go well with the girl then?
对 不太顺利
No, it did not.
-你说完了吗？ -对 我说完了
- You done now? - Yeah, I'm done.
很好
Good.
因为打从我站在这里开始
Because since I've been standing here,
每一个臭女人都说喜欢我的上衣
every single one of these bitches told me they love my shirt.
你们可以考虑设计小圆点造型
You might want to consider doing a polka-dot pattern
每一个点都是不同的图案
where every dot is a different little image.
这只是我的想法
Just a thought.
-所以你要… -贩售你们的系列？对
- So you're gonna… - Carry your line? Yes.
原本我打算明天告诉你
I was going to tell you tomorrow
透过电♥话♥ 在适当的工作时间
on the phone during appropriate working hours.
那么你的出价…即使刚才我说…
And, uh… And the offer, does it…? Even after I said…?
你的利润百分比会比较低
You're gonna be getting a lower percentage.
抱歉 伙伴
Oh, sorry, bud.
你也是 抽出男
You too, Pullout.
什么？
Oh, what?
今天好怪喔 对吗？我感觉…
What a weird day, right? It feels like…
笑一下没关系啦 你可以笑
It's okay to laugh. You can laugh.
向你的孩子问好 还有…谢谢你
Uh, tell your kid I say “what up?” And, um, thank you.
艾德
Hey, Ed?
-记得我跟你提过乔琪雅吗？ -跟桃子有关吗？
- Remember what I told you about Georgia? - Does it involve peaches?
不 我的前女友乔琪雅
No, the girl. Georgia.
-没有 -这就对了
- No. - Exactly.
因为她从没给我这种感觉
'Cause she never made me feel like this.
什么？你要去哪里？
What…? Hey, hey, where you going?
山姆
Sam!
-你在叫我吗？ -什么？
- Talking to me? - Huh?
不 我在叫山姆 你也是山姆吗？
No, I said Sam. Is your name Sam?
对
Yes.
那么抱歉了
Then sorry.
“我所测不透的奇妙有三样
“There are three things that are too amazing for me,
连我所不知道的共有四样
four that I do not understand:
就是鹰在空中飞的道
the way of an eagle in the sky,
蛇在磐石上爬的道…”
the way of a snake on a rock”…
喝点水 亲爱的
Here you go, honey.
-“船在海中…” -莫莉
- “…The way of a ship”… - Mollie?
“行的道…
“…On the high seas…
男与女交合的道”
and the way of a man with a young woman.”
《箴言》第18章
Proverbs, chapter 18.
他说得对 我是疯子
He's right. I'm crazy.
不 你不是
No, you're not.
谢谢 但你也是疯子
Thank you, but you're also crazy,
所以你并没有安慰到我
so not a confidence booster.
现在我最需要体贴挚友的意见
What I need now is advice from my sensible best friend.
-山姆 -对 山姆
- Sam. - Yeah, Sam.
你爱他
You love him.
-所以呢？ -“所以呢？”
- So? - “So?”
你打算躺在这里让他白白溜走？
You're just gonna lay here and let him go?
或许我能爱上某人却让他走 或许这样比较好？
Maybe it's possible to love somebody and let them go. Maybe it's better?
否则我们会不断重蹈覆辙
Otherwise we're just gonna go through this over and over and over again
最后只会彻底怨恨对方
and eventually we'll just end up hating each other completely.
我嫁给你♥爸♥爸唯一的原因 就是让他能留在国内
The only reason that I married your father was so that he could stay in this country.
当时我们很年轻 而且喜欢对方
We were kids, and we liked each other.
但我们从未真正爱过对方
But we never really loved each other.
妈 你根本不应该嫁给爸爸
Mom, you should have never married Dad.
跟你说 我才不要犯同样的错误
And guess what. I'm not gonna make the same mistake you did.
你正在犯同样的错误 笨蛋
You are making exactly the same mistake, stupid!
而且…
And…
嫁给你♥爸♥爸并不是错误
it wasn't a mistake marrying your father.
为何不是？
Why not?
因为你
You.
哪种母亲会骂小孩是“笨蛋”？
What kind of mother calls her child “stupid”?
我犯的错误
My mistake
是没有离开你的爸爸
was not leaving your father.
但你跟山姆很相爱
But you and Sam love each other.
别错过你真正爱的人 只因为你会害怕
Don't miss out on somebody you really love just because you're scared.
相信我
Because believe me,
另一种选择…
the alternative is…
更糟糕
It's way worse.