周年快乐（2018）

You won't let yourself be happy.
我觉得快乐很难 山姆
It's not easy for me, Sam.
我的…我的爸妈…
My… My parents, it's…
我们跟他们不同
We're not them.
我不想毫无意义地在一起
I don't want to stay together just to stay together.
几乎不跟对方说话 还分房♥睡
Barely speak to each other, sleep in separate rooms.
天啊 你一定很想有自己的房♥间
Oh, my God, you would love your own room.
-对 -你可以舒展筋骨
- Yeah. - You could stretch out.
还能在床上摆出这种奇怪的姿势
You could do that weird fucking thing that you do in bed.
对 这样很好
Yeah, it would be really nice.
听着 或许我…
Look, maybe I…
或许我应该跟我的爸妈住一阵子
Maybe I'll just stay with my parents for a little while.
若你想就近照顾生病的爸爸 我了解
Obviously if you want to be near your dad when he's sick, I get it.
对
Yeah.
从不同的角度看事情对我也有好处
And it would be good for me to see things from another perspective.
什么叫做“不同的角度”？
What does that mean, “another perspective”?
就是给彼此空间把事情想清楚
You know, give us space to clear our heads.
稍微分开一下
Like a little break.
莫莉 你是为了…莫莉？
Mollie, is this about… Hey, Mollie?
莫莉…
Mollie…
你是为了你♥爸♥或是想跟我分手？
Is this about your dad, or is this about us breaking up?
-有空间是好事 -你计划这件事多久了？
- Space can be good. - How long you been planning this?
我们只是暂时分开 没什么大不了
It's just a time-out. It doesn't have to be a huge thing.
今天你就把剩下的东西拿走 好吗？
Pick up the rest of your shit today. All right?
你别这样
Come on. Whoa.
干
Well, fuck.
没关系 我完全不介意
Fine. It's totally okay.
我俩都需要冷静一下 只是…
We both needed a break. Just…
我不需要男人
I don't need a man.
我能办到 你很独♥立♥ 莫莉
I got it. You're independent, Mollie.
妈
Mom?
对我而言她死了
She's dead to me.
莫莉的问题是…
The thing about Mollie is…
谁？那个死掉的女孩 因为对我而言她已经死了
Who? Oh, the dead girl, because she's so dead to me.
艾德 你不能这样说…
Ed, you can't say that…
这个女人玩弄了你整整三年
This woman strings you along for three fucking years.
而且不是随便三年 而是你30多岁的黄金岁月
And not just any years. The golden fucking years of your mid-30s.
情况其实复杂许多
It's more complicated than that.
哪里复杂了？
How is it complicated?
她是很差劲的人 不懂得珍惜你
She's an awful person. She doesn't appreciate you.
你不了解 好吗？
You don't understand, okay?
你只看见欢乐的山姆好朋友
All you see is happy fun-time friend Sam.
-我是你身边的开心果 -你没这么有趣
- I'm a blast around you. - You're not that fun.
你不知道我所有的缺点
You're not privy to all my faults,
比方说两瓶啤酒最后都会变成八瓶
like two beers almost always leads to eight,
我生气的时候 会说出很恶毒又刻薄的话
and when I get upset, I say these venomous, acidic things
但我根本不该说出口
that I would never say in a million years.
而且我不像刚开始那样体贴
Also, I'm not as thoughtful as I was at the beginning.
基本上你就是一个凡人
Basically, you're a human being.
相信我 你是好人 山姆
And believe me, you're a really good one, Sam.
好吗？若她看不出来 就叫她去死
All right? And if she can't see that, then fuck her!
哇 你的口气好呛
Wow, that turned.
过来…
Come here.
-来吧… -不要啦
- Come here. - Nah.
我从没碰过比你更需要拥抱的人
I have never seen anyone more in need of a hug in my life.
投入我的怀抱吧 过来…
Bring that shit in. Come here. Come on.
-我不想 -不要抗拒
- I don't want to. - It's happening.
-不要啦 -五、四
- Don't. Don't. - Five, four,
-三… -四、五
- three… - Four, five.
-不要往上数 -六
- Don't count up. - Six.
你在胡闹…算了 来吧
You messed it… Fuck this. There we go.
这样就对了
There it is. Mmm.
呼吸…很好
Just breathe. There you go.
这是美国男性的大问题
It's a huge problem with American men,
你们不习惯像这样透过肢体表达感情
how you're uncomfortable sharing physical affection like this.
你知道义大利男人会手牵手上街吗？
Did you know Italian dudes hold hands in the street?
我不知道
I didn't know that.
法国男人都用亲吻打招呼
French dudes kiss hello.
亲嘴吗？
On the mouth?
有一天晚上我看足球赛
I was watching footie the other night,
一个葡萄牙球员得分 所有人就亲成一团
and this Portuguese player scored a goal, and basically a gang bang broke out.
我不懂足球
I don't get soccer.
我感觉舒坦多了…真的
I feel better. I do feel better.
谢谢你的拥抱
Thank you for that.
你刚刚才看过有没有她传来的简讯 我是在看买♥♥家有没有打给我 好吗？
Oh, you just checked to see if she texted you.I'm checking to see if the buyer called, okay?
好像你刚把电♥话♥号♥码给她
It's like you just gave her your digits
然后期待她的第一则简讯
and you're waiting for that first text back.
（她爱我…）
（她不爱我…）
（她爱我…）
（她不爱我…）
（爱我？） （新增联络人：莫莉）
（姓）
（不要搞砸）
你必须重新开始约会
We've got to get you back out there.
我要把你介绍给普瑞雅的一个朋友
I'm gonna set you up with one of Priya's mates.
天啊 艾德 不要…
Jesus Christ. Ed, no, no, no, no.
目前我最不想做的事就是再次约会
The last thing I want to do in the fucking universe now is start dating again.
我曾经认为媒妁之言很不道德
I used to think that arranged marriages were unethical,
但我开始认为这个过程比较不痛苦 靠自己寻找另一半？太不人道了
but now I'm starting to think they're the less painful process.Doing it ourselves? That shit is inhumane.
看看你的爸妈
Look at your parents.
他们透过媒妁之言结婚 而且超级快乐
They had an arranged marriage, and they're super happy.
我的爸妈是在念医学院时认识
My parents met at medical school.
-对 -没错
- Right. - Yeah.
-混♥蛋♥ -没错…
- Asshole. - Right, right.
我在开玩笑啦…
I was kidding. I was kidding.
我很确定山姆是好人 但这样就足够了吗？
I know that Sam's a good person deep down, but is that good enough?
而且对我的后半辈子而言 他够好吗？
And is good enough good enough for the rest of my life?
完全没错
No kidding.
此时我就决定杀死山姆
And that's when I decided to kill Sam.
是啊
Yeah.
用那种尖尖的金属球 没人会起疑
With one of those spiky metal balls, and nobody's been suspicious,
因为我一路拖行他的尸体 像《老板度假去》演的那样
because I've just been dragging his corpse around Weekend at Bernie's style.
他是好人 莫莉
Well, he's a good guy, Mollie.
你在听什么？
What are you listening to?
搞什么？不…原本我调到很小声
What? No, I have it…I have it way down.
《摩西律法有声书》？
Torah on Tape?
我从来没有把圣经读完
You know, I've never actually read the whole Bible.
你还是没有读啊 是别人读给你听
You still haven't read it. Somebody's reading it to you.
-什么？ -好的
- What? - Okay.
我只在这里住一晚 然后就去住朋友家
It's just gonna be the one night here. Then I'm gonna stay with a friend.
听着 你要解决跟山姆的问题 好吗？
Listen, you're gonna work this out with Sam, okay?
每次你该做决定的时候都是这样
I mean, you're always like this with decisions.
-这次的情况不同 -怎么说？
- This is different. - How?
不知道 或许…
I don't know. I guess…
这不只影响我 也会影响山姆
it doesn't just affect me, it's also about Sam.
还有可能诞生的小孩
And a potential baby creature.
不
No.
-妈… -等一下
- Mom… - Oh, wait. Shh.
我感觉有东西在动
Oh, I think I felt something.
恭喜 你成了我肚子里 纯素早餐得意的外婆
Oh, congratulations. You are the proud grandmother of a vegan breakfast bowl.
你好恶毒 太恶毒了
That's mean. That's just mean.
我们要去做化疗
Andiamo, bella. We go chemo.
对 我们要去做化疗
Yeah, we go chemo.
河岸郡可能出现强风…
…A high wind advisory for Riverside County…
讨厌的赫尔屎东
Ah. Fucking Hal-a Storm.
你不喜欢赫尔史东？
You don't like Hal Storm?
他很讨厌他
He hates him.
他自以为聪明
He think he so smart.
赫尔屎东
Hal-a Storm.
今天满100年
One hundred years young today.
哇
Wow!
摩西
Moses.
-走吧 -太疯狂了
- Come on. - Crazy.