周年快乐（2018）

Right there. But stay there. Now go in a circle.
不对 逆时钟 对
No, no, counterclockwise, yes.
好 这样是逆时钟吗？
Okay, is that counterclockwise?
-对 我往后绕 -好 那就顺时钟
- Yeah. It's winding backwards. - Okay, clockwise, clockwise.
好吧 讨厌的…越南菜
Fine. Fucking… Vietnamese.
真的吗？薄荷太多了
Really? That's a lot of mint.
你就是这样的人
This is how you are.
不听你的话就拉倒
Your way or the highway.
对 你四处看看 你不听我的话才会塞车
Yeah, and look around. The highway is terrible.
不 没关系
No, that's all right.
车子移♥动♥了 一定有车祸
Move… They moving. Must be accident.
来 请坐
Here, take a seat.
我们会给你看
We're gonna show you.
用完美的…好
Put that in the perfect… Okay.
就定位、看着她、露出微笑
And hit your mark and look at her and smile.
开始说话
And start talking now.
我确定你看过这些
I'm sure you've seen these before.
讨厌鬼…不打算隐藏自己讨厌的本性
The douche… was not content to subtly announce his douche-hood.
他想昭告天下
He wanted to scream it.
“我穿一件衬衫”
“I'm wearing a shirt!”
但某些人不希望自己的衬衫太显眼
But some people don't want their shirts to shout,
单色衬衫又太无趣
and a plain shirt is boring.
但这些例外
Not these though.
即使只有你自己知道
Even if you're the only one who knows it.
然后把衬衫给她 快啊
And then give her the shirt. Give it.
有意思
It's intriguing.
太好了 谢谢你
Great. Thank you.
那是椅子上的墨水
There was ink on the chair.
-怎么了？ -跟你无关
- What? - It wasn't even about you.
我在想《欢乐一家亲》几点播出
I was thinking about, like, what time was Frasier on.
-《欢乐一家亲》几点播？ -9点半
- Frasier was on what time? - 9:30.
中部时间9点 我们在想《欢乐一家亲》几点播出
9:00 Central. We were just wondering what time Frasier was on.
那个影集很好看
It was a good show.
明星
Celebrity.
他们跟我们一样
They just like us.
只不过他们付得起离婚费用
Only they can afford to get divorce.
是啊
Yeah.
放轻松 人都有一死
Relax. We just dying.
看杂♥志♥吧
Read something.
我不想
I don't want to.
医院里的杂♥志♥让我害怕
Hospital magazines freak me out.
葛萝莉亚 这是我的女儿
Gloria, my daughter.
她认为看《国家地理杂♥志♥》 会让她得癌症
She think she gonna catch cancer from National Geographic.
-我要去买♥♥饮料 你要什么？ -马汀尼加三颗橄榄
- I'm getting a drink. You want something? - Martini, three olive.
好吧
Okay.
（产科病房♥）
莫莉？
Mollie?
艾瑞克 嗨
Arik. Hi.
嗨 怎么这么巧？
Hi. How random is this?
-太巧了 -过来
- It's so random. - Come here.
我竟然在这么狼狈的时候碰到你
Of course, I run into you looking like shit.
不会 你看起来…不狼狈…
No, you look, you look… You don't…
我在凌晨2点就起床了 我的妻子塔莉雅刚分娩
I've been up since 2 a.m. Talia, my wife, just delivered.
恭喜 “老爸”
Congratulations, “Dad.”
就是我
That's me.
天啊 你一定会是好爸爸 对
God, you're gonna be such a great dad.
你一直很…
Yeah. You were always just so…
你记得我们曾经在货车下面 发现一只小猫？
Do you remember that time we found the kitten under the truck?
你让它睡在床上 即使你会过敏
You let it sleep in the bed even though you're allergic.
大部分男人都会这样
Most guys would do that.
大部分的男人 甚至不愿意爬到货车下面
Most men wouldn't even crawl under the truck.
你一定是好爸爸
You'll make a good father.
谢谢你
Thank you.
-我能问你一个问题吗？ -好
- Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.
你怎么知道塔莉雅…
How did you know, um, with Talia…
是真命天女？
that she was the one?
真是好问题
That's a good question.
其实我从来不确定
Yeah, I'm not sure you ever do.
我该走了
I should get going.
好的
Yeah.
对了 你的气色真好
You look great, by the way.
少来了
Oh, no.
不 我是认真的
No, I mean it.
人们通常记得对方以前的样子
You know, you have a memory of people from the past,
而现实经常会让人失望
and usually reality disappoints.
但这个情况例外
But that's not the case.
你不要这样看我
Don't look at me that way.
反正来不及了 他已经有了孩子
It's too late anyway. He has a baby.
还有塔莉雅
And a Talia.
老兄 你擦不干净的
Dude, that's not coming out. It's not fucking coming out.
我会擦干净
It's gonna come out.
没办法的 永远擦不掉
It will not come out. Ever.
我们都用品质很好的墨水
Well, we use really good ink.
先穿一件衬衫会不会让你比较自在？
Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in a T-shirt?
我从14岁开始就当模特儿
I started modeling at 14.
在这件衣服风干之前
You have until when-this-dries-o'clock
你们可以说服我 为何应该贩卖♥♥这些玩意
to convince me why I need to sell your shit.
很感谢…我们认为这些设计…
Thank you so much for… Um…We feel like our designs…
这样太不专业了
That's so unprofessional.
如果很重要的话…
If it's important…
不会
No.
-不会 -对 完全不重要
- No. - No, it's definitely not important.
重要的是你
What's important is you
并且了解我们的想法…
and you understanding that the way we get our ideas…
干…
Fuck. Fuck.
是谁？
Who is it?
是…
It is… Ugh.
我不想告诉你 是竞争的网路零售商
I don't want to tell you. It's a competing e-tailer.
目前我们很抢手
We're hot right now,
所以很多人打来我的私人手♥机♥
so a lot of calls are coming in on my personal cellular device,
但你才是我们的重心
but our focus is on you.
-她叫什么名字？ -她叫莫莉
- What's her name? - Her name is Mollie.
-女朋友 -惨了
- Girlfriend. - Oh, here we go.
-我们在今早分手 -是谁提出分手？
- We broke up this morning. - Who broke up with whom?
-说来复杂 -她甩了他
- Ah, it's complicated. - She dumped him.
-狠狠地甩掉 -喂
- Big-time. - Hey.
接电♥话♥吧 我不介意
Answer it. I don't mind.
我不要接电♥话♥ 我们要向你提案…
I'm not gonna answer the phone call. We're here to do a pitch and…
搞什么？天啊 真抱歉
Fucking what? Oh, my God! I'm sorry.
我现在就接听 从此一了百了
I'll pick up. Then we don't have to talk about it ever again.
喂 莫莉 我现在不方便讲话
Hey. Mollie? I can't talk now.
我需要你立刻回家
I need you to come home.
现在不行
This is not the time.
可恶 当然你必须工作 对不起 别理我
Shit. Of course, it's your work thing. I'm sorry. Never mind.
喂？
Hello?
喂？
Hello?
我们认为比较小的设计
We feel like our smaller design
能让我们在过度拥挤的市场脱颖而出
helps us stand out in an overcrowded marketplace.
发生什么事？
What happened?
电♥话♥上吗？没什么 她要鸡蛋 待会我就去买♥♥
Over there?Nothing. She wanted eggs. I'm gonna get her some eggs.
那件女衬衫价值1500美元 告诉我实话
That blouse costs $1,500. Now tell me the truth.
是莫莉打来的 她要我立刻回家
It was Mollie. She wants me to come home right now.
但现在我绝对不会回家
But I'm not gonna come home right now.
你爱这个女人吗？
Do you love this woman?
嘿 我爱你
Hey. I love you.
嘿 我也爱你
Hey, I love you too.
碰碰
Bonk.
而且碰得很用力
Total bonk.
一言难尽
That's a long answer.
不应该是如此
It shouldn't be.
回家吧 你应该先解决这件事
Go home. That should be your priority.