放下旅程（2023）

♪ How did it feel to be alone? ♪
♪ I was always thinking of games ♪
♪ That I was playing... ♪
特伦斯离开了我
Terrance left me.
而且是我活该
And I deserved it.
♪ Try to be sure right from the start ♪
我需要透透气
I need some air.
♪ Yes, only love can break your heart ♪
♪ What if your world should fall apart? ♪
好吧 我们在摩天轮上了 能告诉我们怎么回事了吗?
Okay, we're on the Ferris wheel. Can you tell us what's going on?
老天 托马斯 你真是穷追不舍啊
Jesus, Thomas, you're intense.
特伦斯厌倦了一直等我醒悟
Terrance got tired of waiting for me to wake the fuck up.
我不怪他
And I don't blame him.
我很作
I'm a lot.
一直以来 我都觉得 特伦斯太谨慎 不适合我
All this time, I thought Terrance was too safe for me.
但他不是谨慎
But he wasn't safe.
他是安全的港湾
He was safety.
这就是我没明白的地方
And that's the part I wasn't getting.
因为我太作
Because I'm a lot.
我是一个35岁、有个好男人爱 却去选择睡公交车站的女人
I'm a 35-year-old woman who had a good man who loved her,
and I chose a bus stop.
不知这么说你是否会好受些
If it makes you feel better, I don't think anyone actually has their shit together.
但我觉得没有谁 真的能打理好自己的生活
好吧 这点我不同意
Okay. That's where I disagree.
我觉得一个人可以打理好生活
I think people can have their shit together
过上不是一团糟的日子
and live lives that aren't a total mess.
对别人友善、对别人慷慨
And be kind to people, and be generous to people,
希望别人过得好
and want good things for people.
所以我觉得这是在逃避
So, no, I think that's a cop-out.
这种逃避让你们俩都没有意识到 自己的行为伤害了别人
It's keeping you both from realizing your behavior has hurt people.
听着 我说想听真话时...
See, when I asked for the truth...
好吧 你发脾气 是因为我昨晚提前走了?
Okay, is this because I left early last night?
不 我是从更宏观的角度说的
No, it's a bigger-picture thing.
什么是更宏观的角度?
Well, what is the bigger picture?
是...
It...
托马斯 什么是更宏观的角度?
What's the bigger picture, Thomas?
根本就没有更宏观的角度 好吗? 我们能下去了吗?
There isn't a bigger picture, okay? Can we get off this thing?
为什么只有他让你失望时 你才会有这种表现?
Why is it that you only get this on edge when he's let you down?
为什么只针对他?
Why is it only him?
人会感受到不愿面对的情感 托马斯
People feel things that are inconvenient, Thomas.
这是常有的事
It happens.
会令人不爽 但很正常
It sucks, but it happens.
这没什么
That's okay.
从来都轮不到我
It's never me.
我不知道为什么
And I don't know why.
不止是跟你在一起时这样 跟谁都轮不到我
Not just with you, it's just never me.
我从不是重要的那个
I'm never the one.
就好像我身上有这种气息一样
It's like people can smell it on me.
知道吗?我们要在一起会很容易
It could be so easy for us, you know.
我知道
I know.
我知道
I know.
但并不容易
But it wasn't.
而且那不是因为你
And that's not on you.
是我们俩
It's on us.
我觉得我得回家 我们应该低调一点
I think I just need to go home, and we should lay low for a bit.
什么? - 我不想
What? - I don't want it
在巴黎的摩天轮上大闹一场
to be a big dramatic thing on a Ferris wheel in Paris.
你说得对 没人能把生活打理好
You're right, people don't have their shit together.
但我觉得 为了我们自己好...
But I think, for our sake...
我们得更加努力
we have to try harder.
不
No, no.
不要 - 怎么了?又要上去了?
No, no, no. - Round we go again!
又要上去了 - 不
We're going again. - No.
或许他是在折磨我们
Maybe he's putting us through.
见鬼
Fucking hell.
你打算几点回去?
So what time are you planning on heading back?
每小时都有一趟火车 所以能离开时就走
There's trains every hour, so whenever I can.
我跟你一起走
I'll come with you.
有事要回去处理 除非你想让我留下
Got some stuff to do at home. Unless you want me to stay?
不用 没事 去忙你的事吧
No, no, it's fine. Do what you need to do.
我想我会接受这个邀请
I think I'm going to take this.
好的
Okay.
我们回伦敦见
See you back in London.
我们到家后 我会给你短♥信♥ - 好
I'll text you when we get home. - Okay.
我爱你
I love you.
回头见
À plus tard.
这句是昨晚我哭着 离开赛巴斯蒂安家时 他教我的
Sebastian taught me that last night when I left his house crying.
我的朋友们 最后看一眼这性感混乱的人儿吧
Get one last look at this hot fucking mess, my friends.
她之前对大家不错
She has served us well.
嗨 - 嗨
Hi. - Hi.
进来吧
Come in. - Okay.
要脱鞋子吗?
Should I take my shoes off?
不用 - 好
No. - Okay.
那么...
So...
那个...
Well...
真♥相♥败露了 我的朋友们回家了
Everything came out, and my friends are going home.
他们还能接受吗?
It went over well?
非常接受 是的
Really, really well. Yeah.
我很遗憾
I'm sorry to hear.
我觉得那是不可避免的
I think it was an inevitability.
有很多爱
It's a lot of love,
以及错了位的悲伤
and misplaced sadness.
巴黎有一半都是这样
You just described half of Paris.
嗨
Hi.
嗨
Hi.
他给你买♥♥了份圣诞礼物
He got you a Christmas present.
我把它退了
I took it back.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
他非常爱你
He loved you very much.
我都不知道我们当时算什么
I don't even know what we were doing.
他不想离开你
He didn't want to leave you.
Mm.
他不想结束他的婚姻
He didn't want to leave his marriage.
他本打算跟你谈这件事 我们只是...
He was planning on talking to you about this, we were just...
是我们的婚姻
Our marriage.
是的 我很抱歉
Yes, I'm sorry.
我知道这一切都不值得
I knew it wasn't worth all this.
知道吗?
You know...
我从没遇到过对我这么好奇的人
I had never met anyone who was so curious about me.
他对每个人都感到好奇 对一切都感到好奇
He was curious about everyone. And everything.
这就是为什么当那个 能控制他好奇心的人感觉会这么好
That's why being the one to hold his curiosity felt so good.
我想念那种感觉
I miss that.
非常想念
A lot.
你一直来这里住吗?还是... - 没有
So have you been staying here, or... - No.
没有 当时他刚租下这里 我觉得是为了工作
No, he had only just gotten it. For work, I think.
不是为了那个
And it wasn't like that.
你喜欢我丈夫我不怪你
I don't blame you for feeling something for my husband.
很难不喜欢他
It's hard not to.
拥抱我可能做不到
A hug might be pushing it, you know.
对 我理解
Yeah. I understand.
房♥产经纪人打电♥话♥说
So, the estate agent called to say
他们想在下周把伦敦的房♥子挂出去
they'd like to list the London house next week.
好的
Okay.
你对此没意见?
You're okay with that?
没有
I am, yeah.
那房♥子不是我的 一直都是他的
That house isn't mine. It was always his.
我觉得你不是很赞同这做法
I feel like you're not into this idea.
我的意见无关紧要
My opinion is of little relevance here.
我的财务由你负责
Well, you manage my finances, I'm selling my house.
我要卖♥♥我的房♥子 你的意见并非无关紧要
Your opinion isn't irrelevant.
我相信你不是打算逃避吧?
I trust you're not running away?
我是指避开对他的回忆
From him, I mean.
12年前的这个月 我妻子死了
My wife died 12 years ago this month.
我选择了逃避
I ran.
逃避对她的回忆