圣诞节前夜（2015）

Amen.
阿门
Amen.
你也应该为电梯祈祷 医生
You should have prayed for the elevator too, chief.
好吧 小酒窝
Well, dimples,
如果他们现在还没发现
if they haven't figure it out by now,
那他们要早上才会来
they ain't gonna figure it out 'til morning.
别被这的小虫子咬了
So, don't let the bed bugs bite.
还有巧克力棒吗
Got any more candy bars?
我也希望还有
I wish.
你改变了我
You know, you changed me.
我♥干♥了什么
I what?
你想要证明我是个美人
Well, you wanted to prove I was beautiful,
做的第一件事情就是
and the first thing you did was change
改变我的发型和妆容
my hair and makeup.
只是突出你的优势而已
Okay, that's called putting your best foot forward.
我想这是希腊人提出的
I believe the greeks invented that.
如果你真的觉得我很美
Well, if you really thought I was beautiful,
你会给我拍张照
you would've have just taken my picture.
不好意思
I'm sorry, uh,
那我是拍了300多张谁的照片呢
who's photo was it that I just took about 300 times?
你让我假装的某人
Someone you made me pretend to be.
不 那就是你
No, that was you.
我拍的是你的照片
I took those pictures of you.
如果唤醒真实的你
If waking you up and welcoming you back
是个错误 那你可以把我锁在心门外
to the rest of us is wrong, then you can lock me up
再丢掉钥匙
and throw away the key.
因为当一些带着劣质眼镜的
Because when some east villager with non-prescriptive
东区村民用大象粪画圈
lenses in his glasses makes concentric circles
还管那叫做艺术时
of elephant shit on a canvas and calls it art,
我要感谢莫奈
I thank monet.
我要谢谢他画的子午莲
I thank him for painting Lilypads
而没有画些水池中浮着的死鱼
instead of the dead carp floating
我也不知道我在比喻什么
on top of the pond, I lost my metaphor.
但是你明白我的出发点
But you know where I'm coming from.
而且我觉得你会喜欢它的
And I think you liked it.
我想要照更多像
I think I want to take some more pictures.
其实我只是想说
You know, I just want to say...
如果最后真的要吃掉你们
I'm not afraid to eat you guys if that's
我也不会害怕的
what it comes down to.
我猜我明白你为什么还是单身了 沃尔特
Think I figured out why you're still single, Walt.
电梯里面没有秘密
There are no secrets in elevators.
好吧
Well, then
我在朱利亚音乐学院的音乐理论课期末考试作弊了
I cheated on my musictheory final at Julliard.
每次演出完 我都自己买♥♥花送给自己
I have flowers sent to me after every concert.
是我放的屁
I'm the one who farted.
我都自首了
There can be no retribution,
怎么还要打我啊
it's a confession.
要看你自首的内容
Depends on what you confess.
嘿 我们应该用枪把门射开
Hey, we should shoot the door open.
然后呢 再把砖墙射开爬出去吗
And then what? Shoot our way through the brick wall?
说不定我们离出口很近
Maybe we'll be near an opening.
好吧
Okay.
让开点
Give me some room.
等一下 子弹反弹怎么办
Wait a minute, what about a ricochet?
这注意真的不怎么样
This is a really bad idea.
别开枪 道恩
Don't do it, dawn!
我把水给你
I'll give you my water!
别管水了 先把这该死的门打开
Forget the water, open the damn door!
拿好自己的水 肯德拉
Don't give up your water, Kendra.
说不定我们可以每人喝一小口
Maybe we should all just have a sip.
什么 难道我们是在非洲吗
What? Are we in Africa? Huh?
这是肯德拉的水 她想怎么样
It's Kendra's water, she should do
就怎么样
what she likes with it.
谁觉得这瓶水象是希望的象征
Everyone who thinks the water should remain a symbol
请举手
of hope, raise your hand.
太荒唐了 这是她的水
This is ridiculous, it's her water!
快他妈的朝门开枪
Shoot the damn door!
闭嘴
Shut up!
否则我就倒光它
Or I'll pour it out!
好了 好了
Okay, fine, okay,
我把枪放起来
I will put the gun away.
但是下一首歌♥我来选
But I get to choose the next song.
我要听 安静的夜
I want to hear silent night
我要曼蒂来演奏
and I want Mandy to play it.
在一半的位置上
About halfway down,
有个黑色的大按钮 摁下去就行了
the big black one that looks like it should be pushed.
没错 再摁一下 就拍照了
Yeah, you push it again to take a picture.
好了 没问题 你准备好了吗
Right, okay, you ready?
你现在是不是特别开心啊
You're so pleased with yourself.
换你 你不会吗
Well, wouldn't you be?
我猜 是我自找的
I guess I deserved that.
好了 让我们看看你的魅力
Yes, okay, let's see you work it.
来吧 小酒窝 来点情绪嘛
Come on, dimples,show me some emotion.
哦 好极了 来个冷若冰霜
Ooh, all right,you're the ice cream.
来点火♥辣♥劲爆的
Crack the shell.
就是这样
Oh, there it is.
真不错啊
That's really nice.
以前做过吗
Have you done this before?
睫毛膏让你的眼睛更有光彩
This mascara really brings out your eyes.
真的很好看
Really nice look on you.
我真不知道你为什么让我演奏
I don't know why you're making me do this.
不 你知道
Yes, you do.
圆周率
3.1415926535358.
3.1415926535358.
3.14159265358.
3.14159265358.
3.14159265358.
3.14159265358.
有人吗
Hello?
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey! - - Hello?
你们还好吗
You guys okay?
好极了 是的
Ecstatic, yeah.
破损的电缆马上就修好了
We're about to splice a broken power line.
电梯可能会有点颠簸
It might get a little bumpy.
我一会儿就回来
I'll check back in a bit,
看看你们是否有什么需要
see if you need anything.
好的
All right.
实际上 我们现在就需要点东西
Actually, we kind of need something right now.
什么东西
What's that?
是这么回事 我们有个酒瓶子
Well, we've got a wine bottle,
一个空酒瓶
an empty wine bottle
里面有枚硬币 我们想
and there's a coin in it and we want to get
取出硬币又不用拿掉瓶塞儿
the coin out without removing the cork.
不可以把瓶塞儿摁进去
Couldn't you just push the cork down into the bottle,
然后把硬币倒出来吗
then pour the coin out?
哦 是的 也许可以 谢谢
Ah, yeah, that might work! Thanks!
乡村地区距离再远
The distances posed by rural areas
也不再是问题了
are no longer an issue.
嘿 这是保安
Hey, this is security.
有人吗
Anybody in there?
不 不 这里没有人
No, no, nobody here.
我们很好
We're fine.
只要我们的系统稳定
Distances are irrelevant
距离就不是问题了
as long as the system itself remains unchanged.
我是说 就这么简单 不是吗
I mean, it's pretty simple, right?
不是吗
Right?
给我一巴掌
Slap me in the face.
给我一巴掌
Slap me in the face!
我觉得自己好像是困在电梯里 做了一个梦
I feel like I'm having a dream where I'm stuck
梦见自己创造性的解决了世界能源问题
inside an elevator, revolutionizing world energy.
我们同时给彼此一巴掌怎么样
How 'bout we slap each other at the same time?
来确定一下
To be sure?
好极了 我来数
Great, I'll count.