圣诞节前夜（2015）

我倒希望有把枪
I wish I had a gun.
像我这么美丽的女人 多小心都不为过
A woman of my beauty can never be too careful.
妈的
Damn it.
让我再猜猜 蛋糕吗
Let me guess again, cakes?
你是做蛋糕生意的吗
In the business of cakes?
你不是为政♥府♥工作的
You don't work for the government.
难道你是个律师吗
What are you an attorney?
那你是什么 私♥人♥侦♥探♥吗
What are you, a private detective?
你看我像个私人混♥蛋♥吗
Do I look like a private dick?
那倒一点都不私人
I wouldn't say private.
律师助理
Paralegal.
- 我在想 - 你怎么
- I was wondering... - You know...
对不起 请便
I'm sorry, go ahead.
不 不 你想说什么
No, no, no, you should go.
我想说 也许咱们应该
I was just gonna say, maybe we should try
喊叫求助或者在这里跳跳搞出点动静
yelling or jumping up and down or something?
不是吧
Really?
我想说的是 这件大衣和你非常不搭
I was gonna say that coat is totally wrong for you.
你又成了时尚评论人了
You're a fashion critic now?
不 我比那有深度多了
No, it's deeper than that.
我是个有深度的人
I'm a deep guy.
不用 谢谢
No thanks.
你见过那种满是裂纹的蛋筒冰淇淋么
You ever poor crackle all over a scoop of ice cream?
不懂你在说什么
I don't know.
你就是一个冰淇淋
Well, you're the ice cream
那件大衣就是你的蛋筒
and that coat is your shell,
是你的藏身之所
that's your hiding place.
要是你都能看出来
Well, if you can tell I'm trying to hide,
只能说明我很不擅长隐藏罢了
I must not be doing a very good job of it.
你为什么要把如此美丽的自己隐藏起来呢
Why would you possibly want to hide how beautiful you are?
你到底在害怕什么
I mean, what are you afraid of?
有点怕我吗
Little ole' me?
等等 我明白了
Wait, I got it.
你是独生子女 对吗
You're an only child, right?
你在哈佛大学还加入了女生联谊会
You're a sorority girl at Harvard,
和你妈妈一样
just like mommy was.
然后就到了法律学院学习
And then you went to law school and you thought
以为自己遇到了真命天子 但是他在
you met Mr. Right but he dumped you final semester
最后一个学期甩了你 因为觉得自己可能
when he realized he could be the next
成为下一个华尔街之狼
wolf of wall street.
你虽然勉强毕业
You managed to graduate but
但由于当时魂不守舍 而没能
you were so distraught you just couldn't
通过律师资格考试 于是你告诉自己的朋友
pass the bar and so you told all your friends
说自己是个律师 然而实际上
that you're a lawyer even though, really,
你只是为律师工作而已
all you do is work for one.
接下来就是我最喜欢的部分
Here comes my favorite part.
所以我要留着最后说
It's why I saved it for last.
我好期待呢
I can't wait.
你一直想成为一名啦啦队员
You've always wanted to be a cheerleader.
你要干什么
What are you doing?
我想给你拍张照
Well, I'd like to take a picture of you.
住手 别这样
Stop! Hey! Stop!
来一张 展示一下你隐藏在外壳下面的东西
Come one, show me what's under that shell.
住手
Stop!
展示一下你的情绪 对 就这样
Show me some emotion, yeah, that's it.
我们是在手术区
We're in the surgery wing,
正在前往恢复区的电梯上
headed down to recovery on the third floor.
怎么会这样 这可是医院啊
How can that be? This is a hospital.
明白了
Got it.
备用发电机有点小故障
There's a glitch with the backup generators,
估计还需要十到十五分钟
should be 10 to 15 minutes.
你们还是祈祷它能在睡美人
You better hope it's fixed before sleeping
醒来之前被修好 不然你们中就得有人
beauty wakes up or one of you's gonna have to
告诉她真♥相♥了
tell her the truth.
真♥相♥就是她有心脏脂肪瘤
The truth is a cardiac Liposarcoma.
这种病任何人都束手无策
Nothing anybody could have done about it,
除非上帝保佑
except god.
但是她已经求过那个贱♥人♥了
She had that bitch covered.
怎么求的
How's that?
她让我在手术前和她一起向上帝祈祷
She asked me to pray with her before surgery.
然后呢
And?
也许我们应该蹦一蹦让它继续往下走
Maybe we should jump up and down to get it going.
好耶
Yes!
不行
No.
不行
No.
我叫莫莉
Well, I'm Molly.
我已经戒酒四十五分钟了
I have been sober for 45 minutes.
我打算和我的好闺蜜 雪莉一起去吃中餐
I was headed to eat Chinese with my bff, Sherry,
接下来她要向大家介绍自己
who will tell you about herself in just a minute.
我是射手座 对花生过敏
Oh, I'm a sagittarius and I'm allergic to peanuts,
射手座对花生过敏
which is rare to be a sagittarius
是非常罕见的
and allergic to peanuts.
金丝雀:canary
我叫雪莉 与金丝雀有相同韵脚
I'm Sherry, rhymes with canary.
前世我是来历不明的灵能者
In a past life I was a Cyberkinetic Force of unknown origin,
但今生 我主修诗歌♥
but in this life, I'm a poetry major.
就是说我以试用化妆品为生
Which means I pay the rent by testing cosmetics,
所以今天我的脸有点肿
which is why my face is kind of puffy today.
别盯着看
Don't stare.
我叫尼克
I am Nick.
我是艺术策展人
I'm an art curator.
本来今晚我要主持一场
I was supposed to lead the benefit tour
在市中心举办的抽象艺术慈善巡展
of the abstract exhibit at the met tonight.
就是我 纽约领军人物的一员
Just me, in New York's leading lights.
结果我却得在这和四个陌生人一起
Yeah, instead I get to spend it with four strangers
显然他们一天洗手的次数少于三次
who clearly wash their hands less than three times a day.
这是全国平均水平
That's the national average.
我知道
I know.
我的名字叫格伦
My name is Glen.
我叫蒂姆·贾尔斯
I'm Tim Giles.
首先 灵能者 如果他们真实存在
And first off, Cyberkinetic forces, if they exist at all
那就如其它人一样可以找到出处
have origins as definable as any other,
除非他们超脱在三界之外
unless they lay outside the realm of time and space,
而那是不可能的
which is impossible.
第二 我不相信你们是出来吃中国菜的
Secondly, I don't buy that you're going out for Chinese.
不然不可能穿这样的鞋
Not in those shoes.
好吧 我们是要去
Uh, well, we're headed to
莎莎舞酒吧 与非法移♥民♥们跳舞
a salsa bar to dance with illegal people.
这是我们的圣诞慈善小活动
It's our little Christmas charity.
有本事你起诉啊
So sue us.
这是不可能胜诉的案子
It's not a winnable case.
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
为什么这么严肃
Why so serious? Huh?
我们也算是开派对了
We got a party here!
不错
Looking good.
停
Stop!
你要说什么就说
Say what you're gonna say.
我们暂时无法救你出来
We got a problem getting you out of there.
我知道
I know this.
是怎么回事
Que pasa?
整个街区有很多人困在了电梯里
We got people stuck in elevators all around the block.
你的车切断了他们的主电源
Your Van severed their main power line.
我闯祸了
I screw the pooch?
是的
Yeah, you did.
但你的车接通了
But your Van is also connecting the two halves
备用线路
of the backup line.
所以那些电梯之所以没有坠落
The reason those elevators haven't fallen to the ground
就是因为你的车在为紧急制动器
is because your Van is conducting electricity to their
供电
emergency breaks.
你们准备怎么做
What are you gonna do?
我们准备从你两旁挖下去