都是真的（2018）

It was a special one with a folding blade.
上面刻着他名字的首字母
It had his initials engraved on the handle.
他一定会很喜欢那把刀
He'd have loved that knife.
我一直都把它带在身边
I keep it with me all... All the time.
-嘿你介不介意…… -请
- Heh. Do you mind if I...? - Please.
每当我……
Whenever I, uh...
每当我削一根新的羽毛笔
Whenever I trim a new quill,
我就会想这不是我的手
I imagine that it's not mine,
而是成年之后 他的手
But his hand, grown to be a man,
是他在那里……
And there he is, trimming...
削他的羽毛笔
Trimming his quill
用他的父亲给他带的那把小刀
With the knife his father gave him
在那次快乐的回家路上
On that joyful homecoming so long ago.
然后当我…
And then, when I, uh...
当我蘸着墨水写字的时候
When I dip the ink and make a mark,
我看到的仍然是他的手
it's still his hand I see
我写的那些字
And his words that I write,
我会想象那不是我
And then I imagine that it's not me
我想到的全是他
Who thinks of him at all,
好像我已经死了而他还活着
But that I am dead and Hamnet lives,
是他想到了我
And it's him who thinks of me.
人们经常问我怎么写出这么多作品
People often ask me how I've written so much,
我是怎么做到独自坐在我的桌前
How I've found the energy and dedication
一部又一部地写作
To sit alone at my desk,
到底是什么给了我力量
Writing play after play after play,
但答案很简单
But the answer is quite simple.
因为我儿子一直陪着我
I was always in the company of my son.
我的孩子
My boy.
你…叫我吗 父亲
You... You sent for me, Father?
是的是的 朱迪思 谢谢你过来
Yes. Yes, Judith. Thank you for coming.
你的新房♥子还舒适吗？
Your... Your new home is comfortable, I hope?
嗯 还有很多工作要做
Well, there's a lot of work to do,
但我丈夫很努力
But my husband's working hard.
尽管他给我们带来了耻辱……
Despite all the shame he brought us, he...
但他是个好人
He is a good man.
我今天去看了哈姆内特的坟墓
I visited Hamnet's grave today,
我在登记册上看到了他的名字
And I read his name in the register.
我很高兴
Oh, I'm glad of it.
安妮…
Anne...
我了解瘟疫
I know the plague.
有好多次伦敦流行瘟疫 所有的剧院都关门了
Many times in London it struck, all the theaters were closed,
所以我…很了解瘟疫
So I do... I know the plague, and...
我今天在想……
I was thinking today that...
黑死病就像是一把镰刀
The Black Death is a scythe.
它不是一把匕♥首♥
It is not a dagger.
怎么说
How's that?
我从来没见过一场瘟疫
Never once did I see it
会只袭击一个人 然后就消失
Strike a single person and then depart.
哈姆内特是怎么死的
How did Hamnet die?
他的死记录在了教区的登记册上
His death is recorded in the parish register,
但没有提到原因
But no mention of the cause.
是因为瘟疫
Plague, husband.
牧师在他的葬礼上宣读过了
The vicar pronounced it at his funeral.
因为是你让他这么说的
Because that is what you told him,
而且毫无疑问 是你让掘墓人
And also, no doubt, what you told the gravesmen
来到绿林里
Who came to the greenwood
却发现他已经被裹在了寿衣里
To find him already stitched up in his shroud.
但是当我看到哈姆内特周围的坟墓
But when I look at the graves
还有登记册的时候
Around about Hamnet's and the register,
我明白了1596年的夏天
I see that no scythe
这个小镇并没有发生瘟疫
Swung through this town in the summer of 1596.
准确地说当时只有5个孩子去世
In fact, precisely, only five children were taken,
其中三个是新生儿
And three of them were newborns.
不像其他瘟疫年代
Not like the other plague years,
每次一发生瘟疫
Where dozens upon dozens and dozens
就肯定会有上百人死去
Were struck down each time it struck.
所以 朱迪思 安妮
So, Judith, Anne,
请告诉我
please tell me.
我儿子到底是怎么死的
How did my son die?
他死于瘟疫
He died of plague.
我夜里的哭声唤醒了母亲
I woke Mother in the night with my cry.
哈姆内特的床是空的
Hamnet's bed was empty.
母亲找遍了房♥子
Mother searched the house.
然后她想到了绿林池塘
And then she thought of the greenwood pond.
那是他最喜欢的地方
That was his favorite place,
即使他不会游泳
Even though he couldn't swim
他也从来没有下水过
And he'd never go in the water.
在他周围……
Around him...
散落着的
Torn and shredded,
是我创作的诗歌♥的最后几行
Were the final verses of the poems
他把那些写了下来
That I had conjured and that he had writ.
我们想等你回家后给你看
We prepared them for when you came home.
妈妈让我去拿线和毯子
Mother asked me to get threads and blankets
所以没有人知道他是怎么死的
So that nobody would ever find out how he died.
朱迪斯一直把这藏在心底
That's Judith's story,
从此她就把那当成了一种负担
And she's carried it like a burden ever since,
但我说他死于瘟疫
But I say he died of plague.
牧师在他的墓前也是这么说的
The vicar spake it at his grave.
上帝接受了
And God accepted it.
数以百万计的人因此丧命
Millions of people died of it,
哈姆内特混在其中进入了天堂
And Hamnet entered heaven amongst that host.
耶稣绝不会拒绝他
Jesus would never have denied him a place,
尽管朱迪思和我看到了那一切
In spite of what Judith said we saw.
当然
Of course.
他当然在天堂
Well, of course he's in heaven.
哈姆内特并没有自杀
Hamnet didn't kill himself.
他只是不小心掉进了水里
He only threw himself upon the water.
是我造成的
It was I that caused it.
是我杀了他
I killed him.
-朱迪思不是这样的 -我杀了我的弟弟
- Judith, it's not so. - I killed my brother.
他只是想要取悦你
You see, all he wanted to do was to please you.
你只关心他
All that you cared about was him,
他也只关心你
And all he cared about was you.
我很嫉妒
I was jealous.
我很嫉妒……
I was jealous...
因为哈姆内特可以上学
Because Hamnet went to school...
而我必须在厨房♥工作
And I had to work in the kitchens
就因为我是一个女孩
Because I was a girl.
但我想要你的认可
But I wanted your approval.
我想要你的爱
I wanted your love.
所以我跟他说我会告诉你真♥相♥
And so I told him that I would tell you.
你就会知道那些诗到底是谁写的
That you would finally know who'd writ the verse.
我不是…
I didn't...
我不是故意的
I didn't mean it.
我不是故意的
I didn't mean it.
他死于瘟疫
He died of plague.
上帝接受了
God accepted it.
这只是一个小小的谎言
It was only a little lie.
他只是个小男孩
He was only a little boy.
你已经完成了
You finished it.
谢谢
Thank you.
我的故事已经完成了
My story's done.
我可以休息了
I can rest.
哈姆内特 拜托
Hamnet, please.
请等一会儿
Stay a moment.
我们都是
We are such stuff
梦中的人物
As dreams are made on,
我们的一生
And our little life
都在酣睡之中
Is rounded with a sleep.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我想……