怪异城市

-我看起来还行吗 -别担心 你看起来很帅
- Do I look okay? - Stop it. You look great.
你喜欢我的毛线背心吗
You like my sweater vest?
很喜欢 非常儒雅
Yes, I love it! It's very dignified.
还儒雅呢 我穿它主要是为了遮住肚腩
Dignified. But its main purpose is to hold my stomach in.
我很喜欢那个肚腩
I love that stomach.
那是我的小肚腩 走吧
That's my stomach. Come on.
-斯图 -他们在这呢 爸妈好
- Stu! - Hey! There they are! Hi, guys!
见到你好开心
Good to see you!
老爸老妈 这是伯特
Mom, Dad, this is Burt.
你好 我叫罗恩 幸会 常德先生
Hi, I'm Ron. Very nice to meet you, Mr. Chund.
叫我伯特就好 常德先生是我爸的称呼
Call me Burt. My father was Mr. Chund.
他跟你说的一样幽默 斯图 我叫琳达
He's as witty as you said, Stu! I'm Linda.
幸会[法语]
Enchanté.
你好啊[法语]
Ooh, bonjour.
好了 老婆
Okay, dear.
是啊 矜持点 老妈
Yeah, take it easy, Mom.
-我可喜欢那首歌♥了 -我们一起唱吧
- Oh, I love that song! - Hey, let's sing it!
*噢 线安检员 拜托*
* Whoa-oh-h, cha-cha! Please Mr. Line Guard Man *
-*别检查我的包* -*包*
- * Don't check my bag-ah * - * Bag-ah! *
我好喜欢马洛·安普莱
Oh, I loved Marlo Umfree.
我看过他17次现场演出
I saw him live 17 times.
斯图 你真会挑对象
Stu, you sure know how to choose 'em.
谢谢 爸爸 我本来还担心你们会...
Thanks, Dad. I was kinda nervous that you guys would be...
我也不知道 在意他的年龄
I don't know, upset about his age.
开什么玩笑
You kidding me?
你可是给我们又带来了一个老古董
You've given us another old fogey
让我们能畅聊过去的美好时光
to talk about the good old days with.
对了 琳达 斯图说过你喜欢猫头鹰
Oh, hey, Linda, Stu mentioned you liked owls,
所以
and so,
我选了一只送给你
I picked one up for you.
希望你喜欢
I hope you like it.
伯特 你太贴心了
Burt! Oh, that's so sweet!
是机械猫头鹰呢
A mechanical owl!
真漂亮
It's beautiful!
放在我的猫头鹰收藏里很搭 谢谢你
Oh, it'll look perfect with my collection. Thank you.
-你们留下来吃晚饭吗 -拜托啦
- Are you guys staying for dinner? - Please!
-吃晚饭吗 -好啊
- Dinner? - Yeah!
-好的 谢谢招待 -太好了
- Sure, thank you. - Yay!
天呐 我好紧张 满身大汗
Jesus. I'm nervous. Sweating.
别紧张 他们都是好孩子
Don't be. They're great kids.
再说 这跟我去见你的家长不一样
Besides, this is different from me meeting your parents.
他们是我的孩子 如果他们不喜欢你
These are my kids, and if they don't like you,
我就命令他们必须喜欢你
I'll tell them they have to.
我觉得他们会拿我跟他们的母亲作比较
I just feel like they'll be comparing me to their mother.
斯图 听我说 玛莎生前是个很棒的女人
Stu, listen. Martha was a wonderful woman,
她去世之后 我们的生活都发生了巨变
and when she passed away, none of our lives were the same.
但他们是好孩子 希望看到自己爸爸快乐
But these are good kids. They want to see their dad happy.
孩子们
Kids!
他们来了
There they are!
普丽萨 这是斯图
Plisa, this is Stu.
-你好 -你好 很高兴认识你
- Hi. - Hi! Nice to meet you.
我也是
You too!
爸爸 你可没告诉我他这么帅哦
Dad, you didn't tell me he was super hot.
我想给你个惊喜
I wanted to surprise you.
-布舒 这是斯图 -布舒 你好吗
- Booj, this is Stu. - Booj, how are you?
算了吧 我去后院待着
Forget this! I'll be in the backyard.
对不起 他还...不能适应
Sorry. He's just... adjusting.
我去跟他聊聊
I'm gonna go talk to him.
不 其实呢
Actually, no, you know what?
我去跟他聊
Let me go talk to him.
哥们
Hey, bud.
你... 你很会骑这个
You're, uh... You're pretty great on that thing.
你喜欢玩安全球吗
Hey, you, uh... you like Safeball?
喜欢吧
Yeah. I guess.
不如 你去那边接球
Why don't you... go long?
来吧
Come on!
会很好玩的
It'll be fun.
这就对了 过去那边
There you go. Get out there.
你上高中时有玩吗
You play in high school?
有 我在中♥央♥队打球
Yeah. I played at Central Awards.
我在高地队
Hey, I played at Highland Awards.
你们线上区的人每次都完虐我们
Man, you Above the Line guys always kicked our butts.
你还好吗
Listen, how you holding up?
你不是我妈妈
It's just, you're not my mom.
这一点我很清楚
I totally get that. Alright?
我不想当你妈妈 我也取代不了她
I don't want to be your mom. Look, I couldn't be.
听你♥爸♥爸说 她独一无二
From what your dad says, she was one of a kind.
没错
Yeah, she-she was.
但不只是这个问题
But I mean, that's not everything.
大个子 你可以告诉我
Come on, champ, you can tell me.
妈妈去世后 我变得很沮丧
After Mom died, I just got really depressed.
所以最后 我分配的对象
So then, eventually, my assigned mate...
申请解除我们的配对
filed for unassignment.
你有没有尝试过
Well, look, have you
用心理咨♥询♥自动贩卖♥♥机呢
tried going to the therapy vending machines?
没有 我姐姐就用了
No. That's what my sister did.
我也不知道 我觉得
I don't know, I feel like
我好像应该自己想明白
I should maybe try to just figure it out for myself.
听我说
Listen.
没事的 看着我
Hey, it's okay. Look at me.
你以为我跟你♥爸♥爸在一起 当初就不害怕吗
You don't think I was scared getting into this with your dad?
我怕得要死
I was terrified.
他可是大人物
He's a big man.
-没错 -是啊
- Yeah. - Yeah.
听着 如果说我有什么能告诉你的
Well, listen, if there's one thing that I can tell you,
那就是 不管面对任何困难
it's that anything - anything -
只要你拿出一点勇气 就能克服它
can be overcome with a little bit of courage.
我知道你身体里蕴藏着勇气 对吗
And I know you got some of that. Right?
你只需找到它
You just gotta find it.
在哪呢 是在这里吗
Where is it? Huh? Is it there?
-不是 -不是 那是在这里吗
- No. - No? Right over there?
-不是 -在哪呢 勇气藏在哪
- No. - Where is it? Where's that courage?
-不是在那 -那在哪 告诉我
- Not there. - Yeah, where is it? Come on!
-在心里 -没错
- It's right here. - Yeah!
勇气就在你心里 我的大个子
That's where it is. There's my big guy.
你还好吗 过来
You alright? Come here.
谢谢你 斯图
Thanks, Stu.
六个月后
小蛋白
Hey, Egg White,
你什么时候才弄完 来给你家老头按按背
when you gonna finish that up and give your old man a back rub?
为什么装饰圣诞树的是我
Why am I the one decorating this tree,
提供按♥摩♥服务的也是我
and why am I the one giving the back rubs?
-这么晚了 会是谁呢 -您有访客
- Who could that be at this time? - You have a visitor.
请进
Come on in!
是你
You?
"真命爱侣"广♥告♥里那个人
That's the guy from The One That's The One commercial?
不 我是奈杰里实验室的技术员
No, I'm the technician from Negari Labs.
-同一个人 -我保证不是
- Same guy. - I assure you I'm not.
怎么会...
What is with this--
-常德先生 麦克斯姆先生 -我们现在都姓麦克斯姆
- Mr. Chund. Mr. Maxsome. - We're both Mr. Maxsome now.
通常我不会上门服务
Well, I don't normally make house calls,
但这次情况特殊
but this is a special situation.
奈杰里博士在"真命爱侣"
You see, when Dr. Negari computed your input
计算你们的数据时 出了错
at The One That's The One, he made a mistake.
他忘了进位
He forgot to carry the one.
你们不是彼此的真命爱侣
You are not each other's One That's The One.
但我们已经在一起一年了
But we've been together for a year.
是啊 我们都结婚了
Yeah, I mean, we're married.
我深表歉意
I can't apologize enough.
这是"真命爱侣"头一次出错
It's the first mistake in the history of The One That's The One.
麦克斯姆先生 这位才是你的真命爱侣