怪异城市

Girth Haddock. Police detective.
谢谢你来
Thanks for coming.
客气什么 为了救回一辆货车 我不惜一切
You kidding? I'd do anything to save a van.
我报♥警♥说我孩子被拐走了
I called the cops about my kid being abducted.
绑♥架♥案加上货车盗窃案
A kidnapping and a van theft?
今天真疯狂
Crazy day.
我通常不会这么做
You know what, I wouldn't normally do this,
但我会在
but I'm gonna fold your
调查失窃货车的过程中 顺便查你孩子的绑♥架♥案
kidnapping case into my stolen van investigation.
-谢谢 你是警♥察♥吗 -抱歉
- Thanks, are you a cop? - Sorry.
那是杰夫 那辆送货车的司机
That's Jeff, the delivery driver.
这些盗车贼
You know, these van thieves...
他们的想法跟我们不一样
they don't think like you and me.
他们脑子有病
They're sick in the head.
他们等不及要用油腻肮脏的手指
They can't wait to get their greasy palms
抓住那辆货车的方向盘 夺取控制权
around the wheel of that van, and take control
仿佛他们在家里没有似的
like they don't have at home!
我有没提过我父亲曾是一名送货车司机
Did I mention my father was a delivery van driver?
-提过了 -是吗 好吧
- Yeah, you did. - I did, okay.
给你这个
You know what? Here.
我儿子一直在给我发短♥信♥ 你想追踪他的手♥机♥吗
My kid has been texting me, do you wanna track his phone?
开玩笑吗 他们正认为我们会这么做
You kidding? That's exactly what they'd think we'd do.
那我们要怎么做
So what are we going to do?
我们要比他们抢先一步
We're gonna stay one step ahead,
跟下象棋一样
just like a game of chess.
想象我和送货车司机杰夫出现
Consider me and Jeff, the delivery van driver, showing up,
象走车六
bishop to rook six.
破解他的手♥机♥
Crack the goddamn phone.
追踪短♥信♥ 杰夫
Track the text, Jeff.
我不会
I don't know how to do that.
杰夫不会追踪短♥信♥
Jeff doesn't know how to track texts.
我从没坐过这么软的沙发
This is the softest couch I've ever sat on!
真不错
Nice!
现在该拿他怎么办
So... So what do we do with him now?
我们应该跟乌利弗合照
We should take pictures of ourselves with Ooliver,
让朋友们看到我们帮了他很多
to show our friends how much we're helping him.
以及激励他们采取行动
And to motivate them to take action.
你们鞋子的中指部分怎么没了
Why is the middle toe of your shoes missing?
这是...
Oh, well, it...
-为了促进循环 -通往第八沙克拉
- ...circulation. - The conduit to the eighth shakra.
因为看起来很酷
It just looks cool.
我们拥有全城最好的
Yes, we have one of the best collections
屏保艺术系列
of screen-saver art in the city.
我想我爸了
I miss my dad.
他不开心了 我来搞定
Oh, he's sad. I got this, guys.
我已经求助心理咨♥询♥自动贩卖♥♥机多年了
I've been going to therapy machines for years,
我最懂得如何跟一个被忽视的孩子谈话
I'm best equipped to talk to a neglected child.
我没被忽视 我爸有照顾我
I'm not neglected. My dad takes care of me.
请你们离开
Clear the room, please.
这是我的哭泣小屋
This is my crying closet.
这是让你能暂时远离世界
It's where you can go to take a break from the world,
释放自己情绪的地方 来 试试看
and let your emotions out. Come on, try it!
我现在不需要哭
I don't need to cry right now.
其实我玩得挺开心的
I'm actually kind of having fun!
虽然你们很怪异
Even though you guys are weird.
你当然需要哭泣了 乌利弗
Yes, you do need to cry, Ooliver.
你得释放心中的创伤
You need to release your trauma.
我希望你跟我说说你的情况
I want you to tell me about yourself,
什么内容都吓不着我
no detail is too disturbing.
我可以帮你
I can help.
这个嘛
Um... Well...
我跟我爸爸一起住
I live with my dad.
-他虐待你 -没有
- And he abuses you. - No.
我很爱我爸 他很酷
I love my dad. He's really cool.
我妈死于那次陷坑意外后
He's raised me on his own ever since my mom died
他独自把我抚养大
in that sinkhole accident.
当时我还很小
I was pretty young.
但我有时确实会想起她
But I do sometimes think about her.
老天 这番话让我想到常纳森
Oh, my God. That reminds me so much of Chonathan!
他总是对我说我该做什么
He's always telling me what to do,
你也注意到了 对吧
you've noticed that, right?
我...
I just...
我必须实现自我
I need to be self-actualized,
但有常纳森在 我不知道我能否做到
and I don't know if I can do that with Chonathan,
他有时真的很冷漠
he just can be so cold sometimes.
你知道我们有七个月没做过爱了吗
Do you know that we haven't had sex in seven months?!
你试过找他谈谈吗
Have you tried talking to him?
谈
Talking?!
当然没有
No!
你懂什么啊 你只是个小孩
What do you know, you're just a kid.
爸爸 我好无聊
你可以来接我吗 地址是
我得把气味沾到身上
I gotta get its scent on me.
你留了一路面包屑让我追踪你 是不是啊
You left me a trail of breadcrumbs to follow, didn't you?
你们这群偷车贼
You van thieves thought you could outrun
妄想逃过法律制裁 做梦
the long arm of the law, but you can't!
因为这辆货车可不想离开它爸爸
'Cause this van didn't want to leave its daddy!
太好了
Great!
奥利弗刚把地址发给我了
Oliver just texted me the address.
我知道我儿子在哪了
I know where my son is.
带我找到你儿子
You bring me to your son...
我就带你找到你的货车
I'll bring you to your van.
你有车吗 我骑那种租的小摩托来的
You got a car? I took one of those scooter rentals here.
-有 就是那辆白色的 -很好 我来开
- Yeah, right here, the white one-- - Great, I'll drive.
-不 不行 -没问题 我来
- No, no, no. - No, no, I got it!
-不行 -我来 我来开
- No, no! - I got it. I'll drive!
你不许开我的车
You're not driving my car, man.
好吧 那我坐副驾
Okay, I'll take shotgun.
不行 我的腿比你的长
No, my legs are longer.
好吧 那我去后座
Okay, I'll hop in the back.
乌利弗
Hey, Ooliver!
我拿来了我的自酿工具
Brought my home-brew kit,
我教你如何酿酒
so I could teach you how to brew some beers.
闻闻这些啤酒花
Smell these hops.
味道好奇怪
They smell weird!
我同意 闻起来很香 还能让人喝醉
I agree, they smell great. Get you drunk, too.
话说
So...
你们做心理咨♥询♥时 穆丽娅有提起我吗
Did Mulia mention me during you guys' therapy sessions?
不知道你有没有注意到
I don't know if you noticed,
她很喜欢在我背后
but she tends to complain about me
抱怨我
behind my back.
她很需要别人的关注
You know? She just wants so much attention.
我七个月前才刚跟她上过床
I just had sex with her seven months ago,
她还想怎么样
what else does she want?
真棒 常纳森 你真棒
That's great, Chonathan, just great!
挑拨我跟乌利弗的关系
Pitting Ooliver against me?!
你刚才不是也在做相同的事吗
It's not like you weren't doing the same thing!
我想该轮到我们跟乌利弗相处了
I think it's time that we got some time with Ooliver.
乌利弗
Ooliver...
你想做什么呀
What do you want to do, buddy?
我有点饿了
I'm kinda hungry.
太好了 不如你来跟我一起吃点东西吧
Oh, great, okay. Why don't you come and eat with me?
我的"这个不能吃"应用刚提醒我
My Don't-put-that-in-your-mouth app just alerted me
有一种全新的节食方式
to a brand new diet, where you
就是通过空气和阳光摄取你所需的全部营养
receive all of your nutrients through air and sunlight.
像这样做 你看着
It works something like this, here we go.
不如这样吧
Okay, you know what?
我和乌利弗要去酿酒
Me and Ooliver are gonna brew some beers.
你有什么毛病啊 他还是个孩子
What is wrong with you? He is just a child!
你知道啤酒含有多少麸质吗
Do you know how much gluten there is in beer?
真抱歉 菲芬妮
Oh, I am so sorry, Phephanie,
我们不是给他吃彩虹和阳光