怪异城市

你家里有任何需要 都难不倒我
I can do anything your house needs.
我有所需的所有工具
I got all the tools necessary for the job.
"脆弱管道" 马里奥
马桶坏了 没问题
You got a broken down toilet? No problem.
发大水了 我帮你
Your whole house is flooding? I got you.
今天就来电吧
拨♥打♥屏幕底部的电♥话♥就行 找马里奥
Just call the number on the bottom of the screen, ask for Mario!
我会帮你修好一切 哈哈
I'll fix your house! Ha! Ha!
新设站点 为东厄明布拉姆服务
Now with a new location, serving East Irmingblam.
由奈杰里实验室赞助
Sponsored by Negari Labs.
没人想要吗 没问题
Nobody asked for it? You got it.
流浪汉铁路计划乐队完整典藏版
The complete collection of Hobo Railroad Project.
收录所有19首歌♥曲 包括《有我爸爸和妈妈在》
All 19 songs, including: "Got My Daddy and My Momma"
*需要积分 就找爸爸妈妈*
*Need credit call Pops and Mama both*
《猫咪》
"Cat's Bro-Jamas".
*世界在燃烧 我却吹奏着口琴*
*Play my harmonica as the world burns*
《性♥爱♥短♥信♥一二三》
"Sext One Two Three".
*性♥爱♥短♥信♥ 打发漫漫长夜*
*Sexting sexting sexting sexting the night away*
当然还少不了 《有我爸爸和妈妈在》
And, of course, "Got My Daddy and My Momma".
*有我爸爸在 也有我妈妈在*
*Have my Daddy and my Momma both*
如果你在线上区长大 这些就是描绘你生活的民谣
If you grew up Above the line these are the ballads of your lives.
流浪汉铁路计划乐队精选辑
19首歌♥曲
即刻购买♥♥
你人生一帆风顺吗
You've had it easy?
那这张唱片会让你回顾
Then this collection will walk you through
你所有那些有限 浅薄的情感 即刻购买♥♥吧
all of your limited, shallow emotions. So, buy now!
等等 刚刚发生了什么
Wait! What the hell just happened?
我们淡出画面 切进广♥告♥了 夏洛塔
We faded to commercial. Charlotta,
知道这意味着什么吗
do you know what this means?
不知道 但我想喝PEJ
Not exactly, but I want a PEJ.
意味着我们是电视剧里的角色
It means that we're characters in a TV show.
这是剧终集 也就是说
This is the series finale, which means,
再过20分钟 我们就不复存在
in about 20 minutes, we no longer exist!
-天啊 格莱尔 我想活下去 -我也想活下去
- Oh, my God, Glail... I want to live. - I want to live too.
如果我们
I mean, maybe if we
搞清楚我们在什么电视剧里
figure out what kind of fucking show we're on,
也许就能搞清楚怎么让它继续演下去了
well, we can figure out how to keep it going.
你说了脏活 看来这是有线付费台
You said "Fuck", so I'm thinking it's premium cable.
-天呐 真不错 -为什么不错
- Oh goddamn, that's good. - Why is that good?
说明节目质量好 不过对我们的处境没帮助
Just artistically. Doesn't help our situation.
我们好好想想
You know, let's think this through.
我们能控制什么
What can we control?
我今早醒来
Uh, I woke up this morning,
格莱尔家
我去仓库找帕尔夫拿炸♥药♥
I went to meet Palph at the storeroom to get explosives...
仓库
我们脸上这些是什么鬼
What the hell is this on our faces?
我不知道 我来找你
I-I don't know. Uh, I came to meet you.
夏洛塔家
-然后我... -这是地图
- And then, I, uh... - It's a map!
上面显示你去了哪 是给观众看的
It shows where you went. It's for the audience.
-是哦 -试试说一件没发生过的事
- Oh. - Try this. Say something that didn't happen.
好的 我去了糖果店
Okay. I went to the candy store.
糖果店
-那并没发生 -没有
- And that didn't happen. - No.
如果你说的是真的
If what you're saying is true,
实际上 你什么都没做
in reality, you didn't do anything
因为我们只存在于这30分钟时间里
because we only exist in 30-minute increments.
我认为我们真的存在于自己这段时间里
I think we actually exist in our increments,
因为这感觉戏剧化十足
'cause this feels like a drama.
真的吗 我觉得有点好笑呢
Oh really? I thought it was kind of funny.
我可笑不出来
Hasn't made me chuckle.
好 如果你说你去过糖果店 但其实没去
Okay. If you said you went to the candy store, but didn't,
然而它仍然出现在地图上
yet it still shows up on the map,
那代表我们能在一定程度上控制自己的过去
that means that we still have some control over our past.
甚至是我们的未来 你看
And by extension, our future. Look!
是糖果
Candy!
好了 好了
Okay, okay!
我醒来 去买♥♥咖啡
I woke up, I went to get some coffee,
然后去了服装店
and then, I went to the dress shop,
买♥♥了一条礼服裙 我穿着离开商店
I bought a gown and... I left wearing it.
我靠 老娘也要礼服裙
Holy shit! I want a gown too!
我也去了服装店
I also went to the dress shop.
天呐 好漂亮 你裙子是什么牌子的
Oh, my God! Nice! Who you wearing?
亚历山大·麦昆 你的呢
Alexander McQueen, and you?
泽洛·科尼利厄斯
Zero Cornelius!
我还去了一趟珠宝店
Uh, I also went to the jewellery store! Ah! Ha! Ha!
别再玩衣服了 懂我意思吗
Enough with the outfit. You know what I mean?
好的
Okay.
-现在停手了 -好的
- Okay, now I'm done. - Alright,
你知道这意味着什么吧
well, you know what this means, right?
什么
What?
我们可以控制它 控制自己的人生
We can control it. We can control our lives!
这意味着我们有自♥由♥意志
It means we have free will!
我们有自♥由♥意志 我们有自♥由♥意志
We have free will, we have free will!
穿着这双高跟鞋 不太好跳
It's kind of hard to jump in these heels.
是啊 我也穿腻这条裙子了
Yeah, I'm kind of over this outfit.
好了 重要的是 我们有自♥由♥意志
Okay, the important thing is, we have free will.
-所以现在我们只需... -不 不需要
- So now, we just have to-- - No, we don't.
等等 为什么不需要
Wait, what? Why not?
因为我这么说了
Because I say we don't.
夏洛塔 你为什么要这么说
Charlotta, why would you say that?
不是夏洛特说的 是我
Oh, it's not Charlotta, it's me,
查理·桑德斯 这个节目的主创
Charlie Sanders, the creator of the show.
这些话都是我写的
I'm the one writing this.
如果你是这个节目的主创"查理"
Okay, if you're "Charlie", the creator of the show
正透过夏洛塔说话 那你本人现在在哪
and you're speaking through Charlotta, where are you right now?
我正在太平洋上空一架飞机上
Uh, I'm in an airplane over the Pacific Ocean.
我在去曼谷的路上
I'm going to Bangkok!
-靠 真的吗 -真的 我弟弟住在那儿
- Shit, seriously? - Yeah, my brother lives there.
我正在飞机上写剧本
I-I'm doing - I'm working on the script on the plane.
-好吧 你几岁 -36 其实是38啦
- Okay. Uh, how old are you? - Thirty-six. Thirty-eight.
我花了几年才把剧拍出来
Took me a couple years to get the show made.
-少来 哥们 -现在是下午1点 我刚醒来
- Come on, dude. - It's 1 pm, I just woke up.
不过我昨晚喝得很醉
I got super drunk last night though.
现在宿醉很难受
I'm hungover.
我知道 我童年过得很苦
Yeah, I know. I had a rough childhood.
这不能拿来当挡箭牌 你是成年人了
That doesn't justify it! You a grown man.
现在是你在做这些决定
You making these decisions now!
别评判我 格莱尔 你自己还是罪犯呢
Hey, don't judge me, Glail, you're a criminal, dude.
你也是啊
So are you!
我 我不是罪犯 是这个角色是...
I'm not a... I'm not a criminal. The character's a--
算了吧 夏洛塔 回来
You know, forget it. Charlotta, come back.
我刚去哪儿了
Ahh! Where was I?
没去哪儿 这个剧的主创上了你的身
You were nowhere. The creator of the show took over your body.
我们得离开这个剧
We gotta get out of this show.
-不好 又要切广♥告♥了 -不要
- Oh, no, there's another ad break coming. - No!
-不要 -其实我们经历过这个了
- Oh, no, no. - You know what? We been here before.
-我不在乎 -好吧
- I'm not bothered at all. - Ah, alright.
你渴望冒险吗
Do you crave adventure?
在低语葡萄庄园享用美酒
Enjoy wine from Whisper Two-Vines.
或是在月光下滑雪
Or skiing in the moonlight?
或是随时玩水上活动
Or doing any water activity you want at any time?
如果你想 就来厄明布拉姆吧
Then, visit Irmingblam.
你会喜欢上这里的
You're gonna love it
因为这里不像某些人所说的那样
because unlike what certain people tell you...
非常潮湿
So humid.
厄明布拉姆这时节的天气好极了
Irmingblam is great this time of year!
由厄明布拉姆旅游局赞助播出
我怎么到这儿来的
How did I get here?
你好 你喜欢周末到线上区
Hi, do you enjoy going Above the line on the weekends
散散心吗
to spend a little time?
你喜欢通过让别人从你跟前走过来交新朋友吗
Do you enjoy making new friends by having them walk by you?
你喜欢这徐徐微风吗 我就喜欢
Do you enjoy the breeze? I know I do.