大英烦事多（2015）

我可能就会那样做
I might do that.
研究表明英国人平均每天
A study found that the average Brit
至少要说八次对不起
says sorry at least eight times a day.
6♥4♥00万的人口 5.1亿次对不起
With a population of 6♥4♥ million,that's 510 million "sorry"s.
对不起 是5.12亿次 对不起
Sorry, 512 million. Sorry.
这让我们看起来像是很随和的一群人
This makes us look like a very accommodating lot,
而“对不起”这个词对英国人来说
but this one little word
含有复杂的隐藏之意
is loaded with complicated,hidden meanings for the Brits.
有些人在某些方面错怪了你 然后他们说
When someone has wronged you in some way and then they say,
“我很抱歉你有这样的感觉” 这一定不是在道歉
"I'm sorry you feel that way,"that's definitely not an apology.
这是别人生病时你会说的话
That's what you say to someone when they're ill!
但是如果你确实有事情要道歉
But if you've got something to apologise for,
你不能用这句话
you cannot say the phrase...
“我很抱歉你有这样的感觉”
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
这只会火上浇油
That makes it worse.
对于英国人
For the British,
道歉引起的问题也许比道歉能解决的问题要多
an apology can cause more problems than it's trying to solve.
因为道歉时 人们会说 “噢 很抱歉 伙计”
So when you apologise, people go,"Oh, sorry about that, mate,"
然后我们不知道该怎么处理这个道歉
and then we can't deal with the apology.
我们会觉得 “噢 这感觉有点不舒服”
We think, "Oh, this is getting a bit uncomfortable.
“他们已经道歉了 我要怎样回应”
"They've apologised -- how do I respond?"
“没关系 不用担心 伙计”
"Yeah, don't worry about it, mate."
额 你说的“不用担心”是什么意思
Well, what do you mean "don't worry about it"?
如果你不想让我担心
What was the point of apologising in the first place
那起初道歉的意义是什么呢
if you don't want me to worry about it?
我本来就在为我感到抱歉的这件事担心着
Now I'm worrying about the fact that I was worrying about the apology
现在你又让我陷入不确定你的道歉
and now you've made me worry about the apology
是否真心实意的烦恼之中
cos I'm not sure if this is a real apology or not.
如果有人向我道歉
If somebody apologises to me,
就有点像比赛
it's kind of like outdoing each other,
好像在玩道歉游戏一样 不是吗
it's like Top Trumps of apologies, isn't it?
“不 对不起”“不 是我的错”
"No, I'm sorry." "No, I'M sorry."
“我更抱歉”
"But I'm sorrier!"
“我比你更抱歉”
"I'm sorrier than you!"
率直的外国人可以很快理解我们的意思
Straight-talking foreigners are quick to translate what we mean.
“对不起”
"Sorry."
很多次我在人行道上迎面碰到别人
The amount of times I've had someone come down the pavement,
就会出现你往这边移
there becomes that little thing and so you go that way,
往那边移 来来回♥回♥ 然后你会听见 “对不起”
you go that way, back and forth,and then you'll hear, "Sorry."
听起来不是“对不起” 听起来像
That didn't sound like "sorry"at all. That sounded like...
“他妈的 别挡我的路”
"Fuck you, get out of my way!"
但是他们会说 “对不起”
But they will say, "Sorry."
英国人道歉时会这样做
British people do this sort of thing where they apologise
但我从来没有真的感受到他们的歉意
but I never really feel like they're sorry.
有点像“对不起 很抱歉告诉你这件事”
It's kind of like "Sorry. I'm so sorry to tell you this,
“但是实际上”
"but actually you haven't been
“你还没有付清你的抵押贷款 对不起”
"paying off your mortgage repayments. Sorry about this,
“但实际上我们要收回你的房♥子了”
"but we're actually going to have to repossess your house.
“很抱歉 对不起 实在抱歉 对不起”
"Sorry about that. Sorry.Really do apologise. Sorry.
“是的 你能让孩子出去吗 拜托”
"Yeah, could you get the kids out, please?
“他们在哭 真烦人 对不起 谢谢”
"They're crying, it's really annoying. Sorry. Thanks.
“我们还要收回电视 对不起”
"We're gonna take that TV as well. Sorry."
“对不起”我一点都不抱歉 我才不觉得抱歉呢 我讨厌你
"Sorry." I'm not sorry. I couldn't be less sorry, I hate you.
我讨厌你和你代表的所有事情
I hate you and everything you stand for.
我从不对任何事情感到抱歉
I'm never sorry about anything.
我没有理由感到抱歉
I have no reason to be.
我为何要感觉对不起
Why would I be sorry?
所以 英国人礼貌表象的背后
So, behind the veneer of British politeness,
比如我们不停道歉这种行为的背后
like our constant apologising,
是一种我们潜伏的 酝酿着的
there's a lurking, simmering aggression
我们极力控制的侵略性
that we're struggling to contain.
这一点当我们被局限在车里时最显而易见
Nowhere is this more visible than when we're confined inside a car.
平常你是一个好人 一个忠诚的丈夫和一个不错的家伙
A good fellow, a loving husband and a nice chap.
但等你被堵在车流之中时
But just watch how your whole personality changes
再来看看你的整个性格是如何变化的
when you get behind the wheel of a car.
无论如何 也并非只有你是这样的
You're not unique, by any means.
为什么日常生活中最有礼貌最儒雅的人
Why is it that the nicest and politest of people in ordinary life
经常变成如此自私愚蠢的司机
so often become such selfish, stupid drivers?
因为看他在等红绿灯时如何反应就能看出来
Cos see how he behaves when the lights change.'
英国是欧洲路怒症发生率最高的国家 为什么呢
Britain has the highest incidence of road rage in Europe. Why?
因为汽车是可以从内部锁上的
Because the car is a secure metal box
安全的金属盒子
that's lockable from the inside,
这意味着英国人会觉得在车里发泄
which means the British feel safe enough inside it
被压抑的愤怒也足够安全
to let themselves vent their repressed anger.
看这个 来通过唇形看看他们在说什么
Look at this, and just lip-read the language.
“啊 啊 滚蛋吧”
"Rargh! Rarrrrgh! Gerroutofit!" '
无论我们感觉形势多么有利
But however bullish we might feel,
实际发生冲突的可能性
the prospect of an actual confrontation
对英国人来说还是微乎其微的
remains a horrifying prospect for the British.
我记得有一次我开车去上班
I remember once I was driving into work
我没让后面想超车的人通过
and I didn't let someone out in front of me
虽然本来我应该让的 你懂得当你开车时
when I should have done. You know when you're driving...
事实上我并不赶时间
I don't think I had the excuse of being in a hurry,
我只是在想 “噢 不要”你知道的 我懒得
I was just thinking, "Oh, nah."You know, couldn't be bothered.
然后 很可怕的是 他停在了我旁边
And then, in that horrible way,he pulled up alongside me.
我能感觉到他盯着我 我能感觉到他盯着我
And I could sense him staring at me, I could sense him staring at me,
所以我急忙装作在车厢地板上
so I busied myself trying to find something on the floor of my car
找些根本不存在的东西
that wasn't even there.
我装作 “嗯 我没法看你”
I was like, "Well, I can't look at you,
“因为很明显我在找东西”
"cos clearly I'm looking for something,"
我弯着腰 找着东西 但我能感觉到他还在盯着我
and I'm down here, looking. And I could sense him still staring.
终于我抬起头 是我认识的一个人
I finally looked up, and it was someone I knew,
他说 “你没让我过去” 太尴尬了
who said, "You didn't let me in." It was awful!
避免开车冲突最妙的英式方法就是
The most British way to avoid confrontation behind the wheel
通过特殊的视觉信♥号♥♥来解决
is by using special visual codes.
“感谢”的手势 我感觉我在学车的时候
The "thank you" wave, I felt like I got...
把这当成换挡一样的知识学了
in as part of my driving lessons,as well as changing gear.
你知道我的意思吗 后视镜 信♥号♥♥灯 机动动作 “感谢”手势
You know what I mean? Mirror, signal,manoeuvre, "thank you" wave.
我现在有些走火入魔了 我甚至
I now go to absurd lengths, I now even...
我想我唯一一次使用危险警告灯
I think the only time I use the hazard lights in my car
是为了让别人知道 “谢谢”
is to let people know, "Thank you."
我得出了结论 这就是我们车子为何要有危险灯的原因
I've come to the conclusion that's why we have hazard lights in cars.
除了开车的时候表达感谢
I've never had a situation where I had to put hazard lights on properly
我还从来没有遇到过必须使用危险灯的情形
but when I'm driving -- "Thank you!"
挥手示意 开危险灯
Give them the wave, give them the hazards,
确认他们看见了 嗯 很棒
make sure they've seen...Yeah, that's great.
这对我来说比后视镜 信♥号♥♥ 机动动作
It's almost like that's more important to me
更加重要
than mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
就像移♥动♥ 挥手示意 危险灯 “非常感谢”
It's like manoeuvre, wave,hazards, "thanks a lot".
而且 通常 我们期望我们的礼貌是相互的
And, as usual, we expect our politeness to be reciprocated.
不用谢
The non-thank.
你在车里 让某人过了交叉路口
You're in your car, let somebody out of a junction,
他们就这么开过去了
and they just drive out?!
都不用感谢的吗
Without acknowledging you?!
我想要的只是抬手致谢四秒钟而已
I want a hand raise for four seconds.
和我挥挥手 说一句 “你好”让我知道我是个好人
Give me a little wave, say, "Hi,"let me know I'm a good person.
证明我是对的
Vindicate me.
有了扶着门便利他人 道歉和“感谢”手势
So with our door holding,apologising and "thank you" waving,
英国确实是世界上最有礼貌的国家
the British are truly the most polite nation on Earth.
或者至少我们想要人们这样认为
Or at least that's what we want people to think.
稍事休息一下吧
Time for a quick break now.
你先请
After you.
不 不 真的 我坚持
No, no, really -- I insist.
休息之前 我们了解了一些英国人外出活动时
Before the break, we learned about some of the rules
强加给自己关于礼貌的规矩
of politeness the British impose on themselves when out and about.
在英国 如果你是为了获得任何商品或服务而外出
In Britain, if you left the house in hope of obtaining any
那么你很快就会发现自己在排队
kind of goods or services, you'll soon find yourself in a queue.
排队是英国人发明的
The queue was invented by the British
因为排队强调了他们的公平感
because it emphasises their sense of fair play.
所有人在公交站 商店 电影院和做其他事情的时候都会排队
Everyone does it for buses, shops,cinemas and everything else.