天才阿公（2013）

Uncle Grandpa S02E08

Part 1 Sept. 25, 2023, 7:41 p.m.

Good morning!
早安
Good morning.
早安
Good morning.
早安
Good morning.
早安
Good morning!
天才叔公
包裹

还去什么贵得要死的美黑沙龙
Who needs overpriced tanning salons
反正都有漫天的自然日光
when I've got a sky full of natural sunlight
还有微波名牌卫星锅可以用了
and my good old microwave king-brand satellite dish?
古铜肤色我来了
Golden brown, here I come!
来看看卫♥星♥电♥视♥在播什么
Let's see what's on the old satellite TV today.
然后炙烤臀部
So, then, you take your rump roast
将其置于480度的烤箱中
and place it in the oven at 480 degrees.
披萨史蒂夫把你屁♥股♥从卫星锅挪开
Pizza Steve, get your butt off the satellite dish!
赶快下去
Get down from there!
谁在这放的盒子
Who put this box here?
上面没写收件人和寄件人
It doesn't say who it's from or who it's to.
大家快过来
Hey, guys, come out here!
我有样东西要给你们看
I've got something to show you!
你们在这啊
There you are.
这件包裹是你们的吗
Does this package belong to you?
我以前从来没见过这东西
I've never seen it before.
那你呢披萨史蒂夫先生
How about you, Mr. Pizza Steve?
很有可能
It's probably
是我众多粉丝的其中一位送来的礼物
just a gift from one of my many fans.
我直接打开看看送的什么东西
I'll just pop it open and see what they got me.
先慢着
Whoa, there!
很有可能也是我粉丝送来的
It could just as easily be from one of my many fans.
真有可能
Well, it could!
重点是我们不知道这是寄给谁的
The point is, we don't know who it's for.
还是就放在原处比较好
We should just leave it where we found it.
可能有人就在找这个盒子
Someone might be looking for it.
反正谁捡到归谁谁丢谁倒霉
I say finders, keepers, losers, et cetera.
快给我
Give me that!
你心里清楚这东西不归你
You know it doesn't belong to you!
得了吧格斯先生
Come on, Mr. Gus.
你就不好奇里面有什么东西吗
Aren't you even a little curious about what's inside?
有可能是头爱开赛车跟玩保龄球的牛
It's probably a cow who likes to race cars and go bowling.
不知怎么的我觉得不见得
Somehow, I doubt it.
那你觉得会是什么
Well, then, what do you think it is?
我不是很确定
I can't say for sure
但盒子的尺寸刚好能装满
but it is about the right size for a box full of
老式轻音乐唱片
vintage easy-listening records.
一百零一口琴曲
"A hundred and one harmonicas" --
我爱死这唱片了
I love this record!
希望里面装满的不是那种土东西
I sure hope it's not full of anything lame like that.
要想象盒子里的东西
If you're gonna imagine what's inside
就得往好了想
imagine something good
就比如钻石
like diamonds --
镶到高清电视上面的钻石
diamonds on a high-definition television.
好啊
Oh, yes!
经典披萨史蒂夫
Classic Pizza Steve.
那当然了有这种可能
Yes, of course, that is a possibility.
不过里面也有可能装满了
But it could just as easily be full of
外国山寨包包
foreign knock-off purses
为了领美国签证什么都能做
who'll do anything for an American visa.
天啊肚包你得多出去走走了
Geez, Belly Bag, you need to get out more often.
现在到我来想气泡出来
Now it's my turn to make a thought balloon
想象盒子里面有什么
and imagine what's inside the box.
天啊快看啊
Oh, boy -- look at that!
是我一直都很想要的纸盒
It's that cardboard box I've always wanted!
我提议大家直接打开看好了
I vote we open it and find out what's really inside.
我一直都这么说的
That's what I've been saying.
来把这玩意打开吧
Let's pop this mama jama open.
先冷静兄弟
Cool your jets there, buddy.
我还是觉得不应该打开
I still don't think we should open
可能不归我们的东西
something that potentially doesn't belong to us.
有了
I know.
来翻身子决定
Let's flip for it.
翻到正面就打开
Heads -- we open it.
翻到反面就不开
Tails -- we don't.
好吧
Oh, well.
这面应该是
I guess that's --
格斯先生那边的是什么东西
Hey, Mr. Gus, what's that thing over there?!
什么东西
What's what?
没事了
Never mind.
快看正面
Look -- heads!
什么
What the...
无所谓了
Whatever.
我就直接大胆给大家开盒子了
I'll go ahead and take the liberty of opening it up for us.
当然这就表示东西先归我了
Of course, that means I get first dibs.
好就快行了
All right, almost got it.
只要揭开胶带看看里面的东西
Just got to get under this tape.
一点都揭不开
What a stubborn little thang.
知道吗
You know what?
经过再三的考虑就让你开了叔公
On second thought, I'll let you open it, Uncle G.
刚刚只是想把胶带给你们大家弄松点
Just wanted to loosen it up for ya.
谢了披萨史蒂夫
Thanks, Pizza Steve.
天才叔公
Uncle Grandpa
不可以那样子用危险的黄油刀
you can't use a dangerous butter knife like that.
这可是儿童节目
This is a kids' show.
啊对
Oh, yeah.
那就去拿我的剑过来
Better go get my sword, then.
天啊那可是我最后买♥♥的一样玻璃剑了
Man, that's the last glass sword I ever buy.
来
Here.
我来打开这玩意
I'll get this thing open.
只要轻轻一碰就行了
It just needs a gentle touch.
就连格斯先生的超壮大手
Even Mr. Gus' super strong hands
都打不开盒子
can't get this box open.
看来我得多去健身房♥锻炼了
I guess I need to hit the gym more often, y'all.
肚包有什么打开盒子的办法吗
Belly Bag, any ideas to get this box open?
我的拉链尖牙估计可以
Maybe my sharp zipper teeth can
把胶带刺穿
cut through some of that tape.
不行胶带太严实了
Nope. This is some tough tape.
干得漂亮兄弟
Nice try, buddy.
让我来试试看
Let me give it a shot.
扎针没什么用
Well, giving it a shot didn't work.
可能巨型写实风飞行老虎
Perhaps great realistic flying tiger
可以帮我们解决这个难题
can help us with this dilemma.
好办法格斯先生
Great idea, Mr. Gus.
抱歉小妹
Sorry, girl.
不是故意要打扰你打盹的
Didn't mean to interrupt your catnap
可我们真的很需要你帮忙打开包裹
but we really need your help opening up this package.
好
All right.
来试试你的彩虹能量
Let's try some of your rainbow power.
该死
Darn it!
抱歉让你颜色都耗尽了
Sorry about using up all your color.
看来只能开始跳出条条框框思考了
I guess we're gonna have to
start thinking outside the box
在盒子外面
outside the box.
好激光锤
Okay, laser hammer.
来看看你跟你的高能远程
Let's see what you and your high-powered, long-range
又精准的打击范围表现如何
accuracy scope can do.
听说这片湖里的食人鱼啥都能咬烂
I heard the piranhas at this lake
will tear through anything.
那就来看看它们能不能咬烂这个
Well, let's see them tear through this.
你们大家想咬包裹吗
Any of you guys expecting a package?
不想
Nah.
快看有艘船
Hey, look. A boat.
医生似乎只能给病人开刀
Well, doctor, it seems like
you'll have to open the patient up