鸟姐妹（2019）

啊 怎么又是你
Ugh. You again.
阿姨 我肚子里怎么感觉翻云覆雨啊
Auntie, I feel all twisted up inside.
宝贝 这只是你每个月的“房♥间粉刷”
Oh, honey, it's just your monthly room repaint.
什么？-现在是番茄收获季 宝贝
What? -It's tomato time, baby.
跳上棉棒弹簧高跷 冲冲冲
Time to hop on your cotton pogo stick and go, go, go.
你让屠夫获得嗜血快乐
you're entertaining the butcher,
他还是个天生的红头发
And he's a natural redhead.
你在为恶魔调制一杯玛格丽特
You're shaking the devil's margarita.
以上所有梗皆暗示月经
阿姨 你说的话我完全不理解
Auntie, you don't make any sense.
宝贝 你只是来月经了
It's just your period, baby.
可是为什么会这么痛啊
But why does it hurt so bad?
你要慢慢习惯 我的孩子
Get used to it, doll.
欢迎来到女人镇
Welcome to womanhood.
人口数：别谈这事了
Population: Shut up about it.
老师 我可以去校医那儿吗
Ms. Peahen, please, can I go to the nurse?
别装了 图卡
Quit faking it, tuca.
我知道你考试没复习
I know you didn't study for that test.
我发誓我本来想作弊的
I was going to cheat, I swear.
我的例假也太烦人了
Ugh. My period is so annoying.
我痛经得要死掉了
My cramps are killing me.
你们不觉得讨厌吗 疼到吐了
Don't you hate how the pain is so bad, you barf
然后昏迷
then you black out,
然后你猛地恢复意识
Then you jolt back into consciousness
只是为了诅咒那个创造你的神
Only to curse out the gods that made you?
但是没有神明会创造这种怪物
But no god would make such a beast.
你的身体是个进化学的笑话
Your body is an evolutionary joke,
你的出生就是为了受折磨
And you were born to suffer.
需要棉条吗 -太小了
Tampon? -Ooh, that's way too small.
有没有沙滩毛巾和吸尘器
Do you have a beach towel and a shop vac?
大家好 我的名字叫
Hello, everyone. My name is...
图卡
tuca.
三小时后
蛮好玩的 -是不错
Good tour. -Pretty good tour.
♪ 图卡和贝蒂 图卡和贝蒂
♪ Tuca & bertie, Tuca & bertie
♪ 贝蒂和图卡和图卡和贝蒂 ♪
♪ bertie & Tuca and Tuca & bertie ♪
♪ 图卡和贝蒂
♪ Tuca & bertie
-♪ 图卡 -♪ 贝蒂
-♪ Tuca -♪ bertie
鸟姐妹的反差生活
为啥我在这儿的时候你从来没拉过粑粑
So, how come you've never pooped while I'm over here?
我想看你拉
I want to watch you go.
哇哦 图卡 你说真的吗
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Tuca, what?
你知道我不做那种事的 对吧
Ew. You know I don't really do that, right?
什么意思 -好吧 我试着不去做
What? -Well, I try not to.
这就是为什么我利用光合作用汲取大部分的营养
That's why I photosynthesize most of my nutrients.
怪不得我觉得你屁♥股♥看上去很原生态
You know, I did think your booty looked pristine.
那只是个栀
That's just a knot.
这不“树”屁♥眼♥儿吗
It's knot a bootyhole?
你们这些植物真是太他♥娘♥的♥干净了
You plants are freaky-squeaky clean.
你其实是我约会的第一个非植物
You're actually the first non-plant person I've ever dated
你的身体太有趣了
Your body is so interesting.
大量物质进进出出 其中却只有少量氧气
So much goes in and comes out, and very little of it is oxygen.
是的 我就是一坨湿润的鸟肉
Yep, I'm just a big wet sack of bird meat.
我们还是聊来其他进进出出的事情吧
Anyways, let's talk more about things going in and out.
我刚在想
Hey, I was thinking,
也许我们可以一起去旅行
Maybe we could take a trip sometime.
你去过小马镇吗
Have you ever been to horseville?
是那个小马镇吗
Horseville?
欢迎来到小马镇
Welcome to horseville.
选一匹马 骑遍全城
Choose a horse, and you can ride it for your entire visit.
哈哈哈
Ha-har!
我一直想去来着
I've always wanted to go there.
棒极了 这周末想去吗 -让我想想
Great. Want to go this weekend? -Hmm, let me see.
请稍等（西班牙语）
Hold on just un momento, por favor.
周一 周二 周三 昨天 今天 明天
完了
Oops.
我不行 我得要去
I can't. Uh, I have to, um...
“粉刷房♥间”
R-repaint my apartment.
没关系 我们可以换个时间去
: Well, we can go another time.
我就是想像你一样有趣和不羁
I was just trying to be fun and impulsive, like you.
激素水平开始变化了
Hormones shifting.
你需要帮忙粉刷吗
Do you need help painting?
没事 我一个人可以
No, I'm fine.
我要走了 短♥信♥联♥系♥
I need to go. I'll text you!
好的 爱你噢噢噢噢噢噢
Okay, love you.
她真可爱
she's fun.
生病真是太无聊了
Being sick is so boring.
图卡 是我
Tuca, it's me.
我动不了 贝蒂
I can't move, bertie.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
你还想去那个造型师很吓人的发廊吗
Do you still want to go to the salon with the scary stylist?
从他看我的表情
You know, from the way he looks at me,
我就知道他想给我来个大改造
I can tell he wants to give me a ruthless makeover.
你问我 我难道不想吗
Ooh, am I tempted?
你问我希不希望他改造我
Am I intrigued by how he would transform me?
我都迫不及待了 -贝蒂
Yes. -Bertie.
我身陷泥泞 不可自拔
I'm stuck here in the dirt. I can't move.
每个月那个朋友又来了吗 - 是
Are you having your monthly thingy? -Yes.
你希望我把手放你身上
Do you want me to do the thing where I put my hands on your body
然后发出同情的声音吗
and make sympathetic noises?
好的
Yes.
哦 我在治愈你
Ah, ooh, I'm healing you.
完全没作用 贝蒂
It's not working, bertie.
你快走吧 我只会牵连到你
You should leave. I'm just sucking you down.
贝蒂 趁还来得及 快走吧
Bertie, quickly, escape while you still can.
我没事 我很好
Um, I'm fine.
图卡 你需要看医生
Tuca, you need to see a doctor.
我讨厌看医生
I hate doctors.
他们只想收集我的尿液然后从中获利
They just want to collect my urine and sell it.
尿液对他们来说是一种货币 贝蒂
Piss is currency to them, bertie.
好吧 但这慢性病
Okay, but, uh, is this chronic thing
会不会拖累你去做该做的事情呢
Holding you back from doing stuff you want to do?
费吉想带我去小马镇
Figgy wants to take me to horseville.
我真的很想去
I really want to go.
我脑中都有小镇的画面了 真的很美 贝蒂
I can picture it, and it's so beautiful, bertie.
我的天 真的离谱
Damn, that's messed up.
小马镇 啊好痛
Horseville. Ouch!
这就是你应该就医的理由
Well, that's a great reason to get fixed.
你有公♥司♥的医疗保险 是吧
You have health insurance from your work, right?
是的 在这个地方看病保险都能报销
Yeah, it covers everything at this place.
好极了
Great.
贝蒂 我不想去
Bertie, no. I don't want to go.
如果你让我帮你预约医生
If you let me make an appointment,
我就让你玩这个胶水
I'll let you play with this glue.
我得提醒自己这不能吃
I have to stop myself from putting it in my mouth.
千万别吃
Don't do that.
就吃一口 -不行 图卡
Maybe just one bite. -No, tuca.
我现在有医疗保险了 我可以吃胶水
I have health insurance now. I can eat the glue.
蜂巢医疗
贝蒂 我觉得我不需要看医生了
Bertie, I don't need a doctor anymore.
这个网站说我只需要用芹菜汁灌肠
This website says if I give myself a celery juice enema,
就可以痊愈
I'll be cured.
图卡 你不能让互联网教你什么该进屁♥股♥里
Tuca you have to stop letting the internet tell you what to put up your butt.
才不呢 -图卡病人在吗 跟我来
Never. -Tuca toucan? Right this way.
我们需要对你的尿液进行采样
We just need to get a urine sample.
我就知道 你们上来就要直接拿走我的“液体黄金”
I knew it! Y'all want to collect my liquid gold right away.
发财咯 -你的想法太荒唐了
Cha-ching. - that's ridiculous.
我们只是要评估您的健康状况
We only need it to assess your health.
好吧 但我知道 我这口柠檬汁
Very well, but I just know this lemonade's gonna end up
会在黑市上以58美元一盎司的价格出♥售♥
On the yellow market for $58 an ounce.
不可以 这是图卡的手♥机♥
No, that's tuca's phone.
管好你自己
Mind your own business.
嗨 图宝 我看到一个东西就想起了你