一路绕行（2016）

The Detour S02E09

Part 2 June 26, 2021, 8:59 a.m.

错过孩子的才艺表演
Missing your own kid's talent show
差不多是身为家长能做的最过分的事了
is about the worst thing you can do as a parent!
我知道你不开心但事情不是那么简
I know you're upset, but it's not that sim...
对不起我只是太抱歉了宝贝
I'm s... I'm just... I'm so sorry, honey.
表演怎么样你把板子劈碎了吗
How did you do? Did you break the boards?
我他妈劈碎了我的手
I broke my fucking hands!
噢我的天你没事吧
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
永远不要和我说话了
Don't ever talk to me again.
甜心呃
Sweetie, uh...
没事她只是需要放个屁
It's okay. She just needs to fart.
那能降低她的胆固醇
It lowers her cholesterol.
或者是血压我也不清楚
Or blood pressure. I-I'm not sure.
她很怪
She's weird.
J.R. 嘿朋友
J.R.! Hey, man!
你怎么认识他的 - 因为他是老爸的老板
How do you know him? - I-It's... He's Dad's boss.
你个狗♥娘♥养♥的 - 放轻松小熊软糖
You son of a bitch. - Relax, Gummy Bear.
一位外公有权利去 - 不不不
A grandfather has the right to get... - No, no! No.
现在立刻闭嘴 - 外公
Shut your mouth right now. - Grandfather?
你♥爸♥人呢
Where's your dad?
他有些工作上的事情要处理
Well, he had some work stuff to figure out.
好去找你姐姐然后回家
Okay. G-Go get your sister and go home.
我很快就回去好吗去吧
I'll be home soon. All right? Go.
快去等等等下
Go. Go. Wait, hold on.
手♥机♥ 我需要你的手♥机♥
I need your phone. I need your phone.
快去
Go.
不等下甜心你手♥机♥上的电♥话♥呢
No, wait. Sweetie, where's the phone on your phone?
我不知道还能怎么办
I didn't know how else to do it.
你当时一无所有在温饱中挣扎
You were struggling, you had nothing,
你都不肯接受我的钱
and you wouldn't take my money.
哦对啊我们还是一无所有因为这一切都是假的
Uh, well, we still have nothing, because it was all fake.
听我说
Listen to me.
我要走了 - 太好了
I'm leaving. - Good.
今晚就走再也不回来了
Tonight. For good.
机灵点跟我一起走吧
And if you were smart, you'd come with me.
带上货我们飞去 - 等下等下什么
Get the ass, and we'll fly to Cu... - Hold on. Hold on. What?
货啊让我带走要保证它的安全
The ass. Let me take it, keep it safe.
终于说到点了谢谢你我现在知道你真正想要的是什么了
Oh, finally. Thank you. Now I know what you really want.
不不不你不明白
Oh, no, no. You don't understand.
我我有 - 我要去警局
I-I have... - I'm going to the police.
警♥察♥又没在追我 - 好吧那就邮政警♥察♥
The police aren't after me. - Okay, the mail police.
别傻了你这不就是自投罗网吗
Don't be stupid. You'll just be opening yourself up
你将会面临一系列联邦起诉
to a whole series of federal charges.
比如呢
Like what?
违反条例
Customs violations.
逃税
Tax evasion.
贩卖♥♥军♥火♥ 名目太多了
War profiteering. It's a long list.
但是我已经洗手不干了
But I don't do that stuff anymore.
非法占有偷取的财产呢 - 不是你偷的
Possession of stolen property? - No, you stole it.
但是放你那儿的啊你也不想进监狱吧
You have it. You don't want to go to jail.
如果这能
Well, if that's what it's
将你一劳永逸地逐出我的生活
gonna take to get you out of my life forever,
那么我能接受我也会付诸行动
then that's fine. That's what I'll do.
我不会让你这么做的 - 你阻止不了我
I won't let you do that. - Well, you can't stop me.
听我说我是你爹
Listen to me. I'm your father.
这样吧你去跟你的孩子中
You know what? Why don't you talk to one of your kids
真正在乎你的那个去聊吧
who actually gives a shit?
哦来了这儿就有一个
Oh, look. There's one now.
她正需要你的关心还有你的钱
She could use your attention and your money.
嗨 Vanessa 这混♥蛋♥有话要跟你讲
Hey, Vanessa. This asshole has something to say to you.
怎么了
Yes?
你应该把外套拉链拉上
You should zip up your jacket.
你这样就像个妓♥女♥
Makes you look like a hooker.
嘿拜托等等 - 滚远点
Hey! Come on, hold up. - Get away from me.
我想告诉你真♥相♥的
I wanted to tell you.
你是知道我已经习惯了
You know, I'm used to this shit,
但是可怜的Nate呢你怎么能这么对他
but poor Nate. How could you do this to him?
我正要告诉他的
I was gonna tell him.
我老公是我所见过人中最有批判思维的人之一
My husband has one of the most analytical minds
相信我他早已猜到了
I have ever seen. Trust me. He's already figured it out.
什么都瞒不过他
Nothing gets past him.
我就搞不懂了真的
I just don't get it. I don't.
我我要怎么办 - 我又该怎么办 Shelly
What... What am I gonna do? - What am I gonna do, Shelly?
拜托我们大家都知道这是个狗屁生意是吧
Come on, guys. We all knew this was a bullshit business, right?
我不知道啊 - 它名字都叫"放水单位"
I didn't. - It's called "Hoax-a-metrics."
它不是叫水操了我以前怎么没发现
It's called H2... Oh, shit. How did I miss that?
我是全球海运总经理
I was the manager of worldwide shipping.
但我啥也没海运过 - 是啊我也什么都没做
I never shipped anything. - Yeah, I didn't do too much, either.
我每天下午3点就回家了
I was home by 3:00 p.m. Every day.
我也是而且我午餐时间都有3个小时
So was I, and I took a three-hour lunch.
我的电♥话♥是坏的
My phone never worked.
我电脑都没插过电
My computer wasn't even plugged in.
天啊管理这么巨大的项目操作
God! For someone to manage this big an operation
却只有这点回报
at the amount of returns he had,
这这真是
that... that is...
太不切实际了
That's quixotic.
好吧我要回家了
Well... I'm gonna go home.
还要去陪孩子们
Got to spend some time with my kids.
我也曾有个孩子他叫
I had a kid. His name was...
Bruce
Bruce.
我们都不能见孩子了
We're not seeing our kids.
我知道
I know!
不不我不是那意思
No, no. I... That's not what I meant.
我我是说我们得待在这里
I-I-I mean we're gonna stay here,
把这破事儿搞清楚
and we're gonna figure this shit out.
齐心协力
Together.
好吗作为一个团队一起
All right? As a team.
好吧
Okay.
对吧
Okay?
听着现在我们得从已知情况出发
Look. Right now, we got to start with what we know,
而我们知道的也不多所以可以大胆假设
and that ain't a hell of a lot. So every theory is on the table.
你知道 J.R.在办公室时
You know, when J.R. Was in the office,
总是用中文争吵
he was always arguing in Chinese.
确实是 - 还有西班牙语
He was. - O-Or... Or in Spanish.
也对 - 我发誓有次我听到他说Wookie语
That, too. - One time, I swear it was Wookie.
好吧现实点他他妈又不是个太空猿猴
Okay, get real. He's not a fucking space ape.
我只想说世界之大无奇不有
All I'm saying is that this is a pretty big universe.
大胆假设嘛
And if every theory's on the table...
听着没有资金流入
Look, no money in.
许多的资金流出
Lots of money out.
他接受了一个
He is being challenged
已故亲戚的挑战要花掉一大堆钱才可以继承其遗产
by a wealthy, deceased relative to spend a shit-ton of money.
这不就是<酿酒师的百万横财>剧情吗
We got ourselves a "Brewster's Millions."
那为什么说中文
Why the Chinese?
操
Damn it!
中国
China!
中国
China!
他们是我们的新敌人
They're our new enemies!
老兄我们能玩飞镖吗在飞镖盘上
Bro, can we play darts? On the dart board?
你说啥
What'd you say?
我们能在飞镖盘上玩飞镖吗
Can we play darts on the dart board?
飞镖
Darts?
对啊 - 飞镖
Yeah. - Darts.
是啊我和我哥们Bruce喜欢玩飞镖
Yeah, me and my buddy Bruce like to play darts.
Bruce
Bruce...
发生了那种事
How can you think about darts
你怎么还能想到飞镖
when that is happening?
我们就是爱玩飞镖而已啊
We just like to play darts.
你你这么生气干嘛
W-Why are you so mad?
过来
Go ahead, man.
啥
What?