佐恩之子（2016）

Whoa.
哇
For me, the holidays was nothing but arguing.
对我来说 节日只意味着争吵
And I could have really taken advantage of their immaturity.
我还真能利用他们的不成熟
Take advantage? Like how?
利用 怎么利用
Oh, you know, pit them against one another.
让他们针锋相对
Use their desire to spend the holidays with me to my own selfish ends.
利用他们想跟我一起过节的愿望满足我的私欲
Oh, like to get better presents?
哦 比如说收到更好的礼物吗
Well, yeah, I mean, I guess that's one example,
对 那也算是其中之一吧
but it doesn't matter. Alan, you're a good kid,
不过无所谓了 阿伦 你是个好孩子
you would never do something like that.
你永远也不会做那样的事
Oh, no. Of course not. I would...
是的 当然不会 我
I would never.
我永远不会那么做
Leave Mommy and Hank alone.
放过妈妈和汉克
What? Oh, nothing. I like the glitter on this one.
什么 哦 没事 这幅画上的亮片我喜欢
Cool giant head, huh?
酷炫巨型头 对吗
A lot of Zephyrians go with a fake giant head,
很多泽菲利亚人把假的巨型头戴在头上
but you can't beat the smell of the real thing.
但是永远也比不过真东西 没有了那股味道
Hey, uh, just so you know, I haven't really decided yet,
是这样的 我还没有做好决定
but, um, I'm thinking about doing Christmas with Mom.
但是 我想跟妈妈一起过圣诞节
Yeah, um, she said she might get me a 4K projector.
她说她会给我一个4K投影机
Pretty crazy right? If you like that,
很荒唐对不对 如果你喜欢礼物
how about a gold necklace that says "Alangulon,"
一条刻着阿伦古龙的金项链怎么样
that may or may not make you taller?
或多或少能让你看起来高一点
Hey, so I'm thinking about
嘿 我在想
spending Grafelnik morning over at Dad's.
我想跟爸爸一起过格拉复早晨
Only because he said he was gonna get me some jewelry.
因为他说过他要送我一些珠宝
He didn't specify, but I kind of think
他没细说 但是我觉得
it's gonna be magical jewelry,
肯定是魔法项链
so... - He's bribing you with gifts?
所以 - 他在用礼物诱拐你
That's disgusting.
真恶心
This competition is supposed to be about who loves you more.
这场竞争的重心应该是谁更爱你
Right. I totally agree.
对 我完全认同
And I know you feel Christmas is more about
我知道你认为圣诞节礼物
spending time together than gifts, so I totally respect that.
远不如共度时光重要 我完全尊重这一点
Well, get ready to respect me even more,
那你就等着更尊重我吧
because you're about to get everything you want.
因为你会得到你想要的一切
Oh, well, in that case,
哦 这样的话
I guess I better get started on a list.
我想我应该开始列个清单了
Yeah.
是的
Okay, Edie, I can't do this. Can't we just convert to Judaism?
伊蒂 我不行了 我们就不能改信犹太教吗
Scott's mom really loves it, and we wouldn't have to do squat
斯科特的妈妈钟情于犹太教 而且我们再也不用
on a Friday night ever again.
在周五晚上做深蹲了
Honey, you can do this, because I am here for you
亲爱的 你可以的 因为有我在这里支持你
and I'm not leaving your side...
我不会离开的
for more than a few minutes.
几分钟之后我再走
Alan just added a food processor to his wish list.
阿伦刚刚在他的心愿单上加了食品加工机
Okay, I'm gonna go get this.
好的 我现在去买♥♥它
You'll be fine. I will not be!
你会没事的 我不会
I will not be! It's okay, little girl.
我不会没事的 没事的 小姑娘
I'm just nervous because once, I saw Santa beat up somebody
我只是有些紧张 因为有一次我看见圣诞老人殴打了
who was having sex with my mother.
那个跟我妈妈上♥床♥的人
It's not true, sweetheart. Come on. Come.
胡说八道 宝贝 我们走
I can feel your heartbeat! I know! That's the best part!
我能听到你的心跳声 我知道 这一点是最棒的
Yeah, it's so irregular.
是啊 非常刺♥激♥
Man, you get the best Hanukkah presents.
兄弟 你收到了最好的光明节礼物
I thank Jesus every day Jane told my mom
我每天都做祷告 简告诉我妈妈
that she'd leave her if she didn't convert.
如果她不改信犹太教 她就离开
How's your Christmas haul coming? Amazing.
你的圣诞礼物计划怎么样 不可思议
Yeah, I'm totally pitting my parents against each other.
是 我让我的父母针锋相对
Yeah? They're gonna spend so much money on gifts,
是吗 他们会在买♥♥礼物上花一大笔钱
they're not gonna have enough money left over for my college.
这样就会不够钱供我上大学了
Nice. You know what you should do?
干得好 你知道你该做什么吗
Get one of your parents to buy you a helmet with a visor.
让他们中一个给你买♥♥带面罩的头盔
That way, when I spit when I talk, you won't get hit.
那样的话 我说话的时候喷口水 你也不会被溅到
I like that idea, but I'm-a do you one better.
我喜欢这个主意 但我想到一个比你更好的
Get your own scooter? No, that's, uh, two better.
有一辆自己的摩托车 不 现在变成 两个了
Hmm. I was thinking a sidecar.
嗯 我想要一个边三轮摩托车
Sidecar?
边三轮摩托车
Oh, my God! Yes! We could be like, uh,
我的天 对 那我们就可以像
Yeah, or people I know about.
对 或是像我知道的人那样
But do you think your parents would actually buy you one?
但是你觉得你的父母真的会给你买♥♥吗
I got your big Grafelnik gift a little early.
你的格拉复礼物来早了一点点
You asked and you shall receive. Oh!
你要过 现在就该得到 哇
It's a sidecar! What the...
是一辆边三轮摩托 天哪
Well, it's a hover sidecar. I love it!
还是个盘旋的边三轮摩托 我很喜欢
Yup, there's nothing like the feeling of sitting
是啊 没有什么能比
next to someone who's having the time of their lives.
看着别人享受生活更美好了
Oh, my gosh. It just stays right there!
哦上帝 它就停在这儿
Well, I can't buy something more expensive or dangerous than this,
我买♥♥不到比这个更昂贵更刺♥激♥的了
so I guess you win.
算你赢了
Whoa! Edie, don't belittle my holiday
哇哦 伊蒂 不要贬低了我的节日
and make it about winning, okay?
这不是一场关于输赢的竞争 好吗
But yes, I'm very happy that I won. Thanks, Dad.
但是说真的 我还是很高兴我赢了 谢谢你 爸爸
This is so awesome! You bet, kiddo.
这简直太棒了 当然了 儿子
Oh, Edie, if it makes you feel any better, I saw you eyeballing
伊蒂 如果能让你好受一点 我前几天看见你正盯着
those Grafelnik snowballs the other day, so...
那些格拉复雪球看 所以
Happy Grafelnik!
格拉复节快乐
Hey. If those are more presents
嘿 如果那些礼物
for Alan, we don't need them.
都是给阿伦的 我们不需要了
Nope. I had to keep buying things
不 我必须一直买♥♥东西
so that mall security wouldn't think that I was a pedophile.
不然商场保安会认为我是个恋童癖
Well, I'm glad you're sticking
我很高兴你能坚持
with the Santa immersion therapy. Mm.
圣诞老人沉浸式疗法 嗯
At least one of us might have a good Christmas.
至少我们中的一个能有一个开心的圣诞节
Ho-ho hold up. What is going on here?
等一下 发生了什么事
Alan's spending Grafelnik with Zorn.
阿伦在跟佐恩一起过格拉复节
I don't know how I let myself get caught up
不知道我怎么会让自己陷进
in that whole gift competition. I'm so disappointed in myself.
这场礼物比赛的 我对自己很失望
Well, let's turn that disappointment
让我们跟克雷格先生一起
into an appointment with Dr. Craig.
把失望变成希望
I prescribe for you...
我给你
...one scoop of tuna. Yeah, I don't need tuna.
来一勺金枪鱼 是吗 我不想要金枪鱼
I need to apologize to Alan. Okay.
我得去给阿伦道歉 好吧
I hope that's not the good scooper.
我希望不是那个好勺子
Any scooper with tuna in it is a good scooper.
盛了金枪鱼的勺子都是好勺子
Dude! I got, like, the best gift ever.
伙计 我收到了 有史以来最好的礼物
My plan worked like a dream.
我的计划像梦一样实现了
They had no idea I was totally playing them off of each other.
他们根本不知道我是在挑拨离间
Yeah, it's as though I were a puppet master
对 就好像我是个木偶大♥师♥
and they were just two people I tricked into coming
他们两个被我耍的团团转
to my dumb puppet show.
就像我的傻木偶
Yeah, who knows, if I play my cards right,
是啊 谁知道呢 如果我不出差错
next year I could probably get braces.
明年我应该能有护具了
Zorn, we need to talk. Oh, did you come here
佐恩 我们得谈谈 哦 你是来这儿
for some pointers on how to win at parenting?
寻求怎么赢得儿子的建议吗
If so, you came to the right place.
如果是的话 你就来对地方了
If not, I'm too busy. Alan played us
如果不是 我可很忙 阿伦耍了我们
against each other just to get presents.
他让我们互相竞争 就为了拿到礼物
No way, Edie. No, he's a good kid. You know that.
不可能 伊蒂 不 他是个好孩子 你知道的
You raised him. I was shocked, too.
你把他养大的 我也很震惊
He usually gets confused when he tries to lie.
他想要说谎的时候总是有点糊涂
But I overheard him scheming on the phone.
但是我偷听到他在电♥话♥里策划这事
What? You're kidding. How could we be so blind?
什么 你开玩笑 我们怎么能这么傻呢
Oh, typical Zorn... so caught up in winning.
噢 这就是典型的佐恩 那么想赢
And typical Edie... so focused on losing horribly.
典型的伊蒂 那么怕输
I guess we took things too far, didn't we?
我觉得我们是不是做得太过了
Or maybe we didn't take them far enough.
也许我们做得还不够
What if we work together to teach Alan the real meaning of...
如果我们联手教阿伦懂得节日的真正意义
Christmas, Edie? No, thank you.
圣诞吗 伊蒂 不 多谢了
I was gonna say Grafelnik. Let's try your Taken thing.
我想说的是格拉复节 试试你的《飓风营救》吧