佐恩之子（2016）

Son of Zorn S01E03

Part 1 March 5, 2021, 2:21 p.m.

Ah-ha! Castle Craig has fallen!
哈哈克雷格城♥堡♥沦陷了
Zorn, why is everything
佐恩你怎么什么事
a battle with you? What?
都跟打仗似的你说啥
This is, like, the least amount of battling I've ever done.
这是我做过最不像打仗的事了
And it's killing me inside. You know what?
这样搞的我很难受随你便吧
I'm gonna rise above this.
我不跟你计较
Hey, Alan. You want to get in the water,
阿伦你想去游个泳
and help me do an underwater flip?
帮我做水下翻转动作吗
Uh... No thanks. It takes, like,
额谢谢邀请但是算了
three hours for my hair to dry. All right, well...
把头发弄干估计要花三小时好吧
Where's your mom? She's not one
你妈哪去了她可不会拒绝
to turn down a cool dip. Sorry!
来个深潜的不好意思啦
I was just using the bathroom!
我刚才在洗手间
Oh, no. What happened?
不是吧什么情况
My peaceful kingdom was destroyed by a meanie.
某个小气鬼毁掉了我的和平王国
Edie, tell Craig to speak up! Well, honey,
伊蒂让克雷格把话说清楚了亲爱的
I warned you not to build it there. That's right, Craig!
我都说了叫你别建在这可不是吗克雷格
Retreat to the ocean!
撤离到海上
Along with the whales and octopuses,
与鲸鱼和章鱼为伍
and... ah, he can't hear me.
还有...呃他听不到了
All right, let's see what else we got here.
好吧看看还有什么乐子
Who else wants to challenge the throne? Mm.
还有谁想挑战本王的权威吗
Oh, look at these wannabes.
哼叫你们不学好
Oh, I miss that sound.
啊真怀念这惊叫声
Hey, Earl Sweatpants!
嘿运动裤伯爵
Why aren't you wearing shorts, you turd?
你个臭傻♥逼♥ 打球为什么不♥穿♥短裤
What are you hiding under there, nipple knees?
有什么可藏的膝盖上长奶头了吗
Oh, I get it. You're wearing sweatpants to hide your diaper.
噢我知道了穿长裤兜纸尿裤是吧
You suck!
你真差劲
Just a reminder, guys, we got the swim unit
大家注意接下来要上游泳课了
coming up next, so... don't forget to bring your trunks.
所以别忘了带泳裤
Oh, oh, oh! And this, right here, this is
噢噢还有这个就这个
Man and me battling our way down Corpse Mountain.
这里头槌人和我正一路战到尸山呢
Now, I don't have to tell you, but that place
不是我跟你吹这地方
is crawling with daggertooths. Totally, man.
到处爬满了獠牙怪物可不是吗兄弟
Oh, man. That was the life.
当时的生活就是这样
It was so exciting! You know?
真是激动人心对吧
Everyday was a battle, and every Friday, a casual battle.
每一天都是一场战役而周五就是轻松些的战役
Oh, by the way, the reason why the printer won't work
噢还有打印机不好使是因为
is because you have to actually hit print.
你要按下打印键才能用
You know, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss the sting
如果我说我不怀念血液溅入眼中的刺痛
of blood in my eyes, the smell of steaming intestines
不怀念活人肠子的热气不怀念嘴唇上的刺痛
and the painful sores on my lips.
那我就是骗人
From battle, which... resurface every six months or so.
这些都是战争的体验我大概六个月就会回想起一次
Yeah. Zorn.
是吗佐恩
I need you to copy these documents and overnight them, this time.
我需要你复印这些文件这次要今晚就寄出去
Not to point fingers, but that was the raven's fault.
我不是想指责谁但上次都是渡鸦的错
We don't have a raven.
咱们又没渡鸦
That bird on the ledge outside is a pigeon.
外面窗台上的是只鸽子
Those documents are now a nest.
这些文件就是鸟巢
So... overnight 'em yourself.
所以你得自己去寄文件
Alan, how do you like your tofu?
阿伦豆腐你要几分熟
Uh, medium, I guess?
额五分熟吧
"Swamp butt"? Hm? Oh, you know what?
"湿屁♥股♥" 呃这个啊
That's an inside joke. From-from people at school.
这就是学校里的玩笑大家都这么闹
They were just fooling around, yeah.
他们就爱这么开玩笑
"Alan eats a horse's..." Oh, my... Oh! Yeah, that, uh...
"阿伦吃马..." 我的天啊啊这个...
That is bad... Ah, haha! Wow!
太过分了啊哈哈哈
Guys are fooling around out here.
同学们就爱闹着玩
I do it to them, they do it to me.
我这么捉弄他们他们也这么捉弄我
Are you being picked on at school? What? No! II don't...
你在学校是不是被欺负了什么没有没有...
Why are you holding your backpack like that?
你干嘛这么背书包
Oh, this is a, uh... it's better for your back, actually.
呃这样这样背包更有利腰背健康
If you were, I hope you'd tell me,
要是被欺负了希望你能告诉我
so I could help you. Yeah, Alan...
这样我就能帮你了是啊阿伦
Look, bullies are just insecure.
欺凌者不过是缺乏安全感罢了
All you need to really do is just walk up to them,
你只需要走到他们面前
you look them directly in the eye, and you say,
直视他们的眼睛然后告诉他们
"You are loved."
"上帝爱你"
Okay. I'm not gonna do that. Super weird, 'cause,
好吧我才不这么干这也太奇怪了
also, not necessary at all. 'Cause nothing's happening.
而且也没必要因为根本什么事都没有
I'm not being picked on. He's definitely being picked on,
没人欺负我他绝对被人欺负了
and I should know. Were you bullied?
我需要了解情况你被欺负过吗
I was a bully. Yeah, I can see that.
都是我欺负别人是啊看得出来
Take that! Ugh, I'll be taking these!
吃我一剑哈哈我弄死他们
No! Not my children!
不放过我的孩子
I will eat each of their fingers in front of you
我会当着你的面把你孩子的手指一个个吃掉
and then defecate on your wife's grave!
然后在你老婆坟头拉屎
Curses... foiled again!
诅咒...又失败了吗
More copying, more collating. Then I have something
接着复印接着校对然后还有
even more exciting for you... stapling.
更有意思的任务——装订
Oh, man. Did you crumple up my turkey sandwich again?
天啊你又蹂躏我的土耳其三明治
Yeah, I did. Aww!
是的哎呦
Would you like to... fight about it, maybe?
想为了它跟我角斗吗
All right. Gotta be kidding me!
唉好吧开什么玩笑
What am I supposed to do for lunch?
午饭弄点什么吃呢
I'm sorry. Do you work here?
打扰一下您是这里的员工吗
No, man. I work at VitaShock, across the hall.
不我在维他逍客上班哥们儿就在走廊对面
Well, strange visitor from "Across the hall," You do
来自"走廊对面"的奇怪来客你也清楚
realize that hot sauce belongs to Sanitation Solutions, yes?
辣椒酱是属于卫浴用品公♥司♥的对吧
Relax, bro, it's just hot sauce.
没事哥们儿就是瓶辣椒酱而已
Nice panties, dude.
短裤不错啊兄弟
Zorn!
佐恩
Copies. Yeah. Okay, on it.
印文件去好的这就去
At this point, it could be anywhere.
此时此刻不知道辣酱被带去了哪里
Hot sauce is a precious commodity, Linda.
辣椒酱可是好东西啊琳达
You can put it on anything. Soup, stew...
就着什么吃都行汤炖肉...
Ugh! This is exactly what happened with Vulchazor.
啊瓦尔查佐也是这么回事
"Vulchazor?" Oh, my God, Zorn.
瓦尔查佐是什么天啊佐恩
If this is about Pokémon again, I swear...
如果这又是口袋妖怪里的什么玩意我可就...
No, it's not about Pokémon.
这不是口袋妖怪里的
This is about the most power-hungry tyrant
这是关于天下最有野心的暴君
with a beak face on the planet!
他长着一张猛禽般的脸
And he took your hot sauce? No, Linda.
这暴君把你的辣酱夺走了吗不琳达
He took the Staff of Quiv!
他夺走的是奎夫的员工
Don't you people read in America?
你们美国人都不读报纸的吗
The New Yorker did a whole cartoon on it.
《纽约客》载了一整本以此为题材的漫画呢
Zorn... the guy just borrowed our hot sauce.
佐恩那人不过是借了咱们的辣酱而已
There are more important things for you to focus on.
你还有更重要的事要做呢
Don't you have work to do?
你就不用工作吗
Yes, it'll take work indeed to recover
确实要拿回本来属于我们的东西
what is rightfully ours. Yeah... No...
是得做很多工作对不
Zorn, that's not what I'm saying!
佐恩我不是那个意思
Zorn! Zorn... Fellow workers...
佐恩佐恩各位同事
woman who sits on ball,
坐在皮球上的女士
guy who met David Spade once,
见过大卫·斯佩德的家伙
the office from across the hall has committed an act of war.
走廊对面的办公室犯下了战争罪行
They have taken our hot sauce without asking,
他们未经允许拿走了我们的辣椒酱
and they have not promptly returned it.
也没有及时归还
Not cool! But there is no reason
这可不行但不必苦恼
to fret, for I am Zorn, Defender of Sanitation Solutions,
因为我佐恩卫浴用品公♥司♥的守卫者
Future Conqueror of VitaShock across the hall
对面走廊维他逍客未来的征服者
and eventual decapitator
以及在维他逍客上班
of that guy who works at VitaShock,
拿走我们辣椒酱的
who took our hot sauce!
那个家伙的斩首者
Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.
我去我去
Sorry about that. Zorn!
抱歉佐恩
Sorry. Zorn... Oh, my God.
抱歉佐恩天啊
Hello?
喂
Stay strong, little hot sauce.
坚持住小辣椒酱