硅谷

Silicon Valley S03E10

Part 1 Dec. 29, 2019, 7:31 p.m.

这种事他妈怎么可能发生
How the fuck does something like this happen?
大象怎么就挂了
How does an elephant just die?
它年纪大了而且心情一直不好
He was very old and depressed.
它最近刚被人从马戏团解救出来
He'd recently been rescued from the circus,
但结果发现它其实挺爱表演的
but as it turns out, he actually really loved performing.
谁他妈在乎大象啊
Who gives a fuck about the elephant?
我说我自己呢
What about me?
现在形势不妙啊
This does not look good.
我想不出来什么好办法把它挪走
I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out how to remove him.
它有四吨♥重
He weighs 9,000 pounds.
把它切碎
Cut it up.
然后一点一点运走
Take it out in pieces.
我并不想打断你们
I-- I don't mean to interrupt,
但我可以找朋友帮忙
but-- but I could call in a personal favor
从特拉维斯空军基地调支直升机小队
and get a helo crew out of Travis AFB
用一架西科斯基空中起重机把它吊起来
with a Sikorsky Skycrane to airlift it out
然后等天黑之后把它丢进海里
and drop it in the ocean right after dark.
绝对干净不留踪迹
No muss, no fuss.
就这么办
There.
你看有那么难办吗帕特莉斯
Was that so hard, Patrice?
因为对胡佛而言很简单嘛
Because Hoover sure didn't think so.
我才刚刚重新站稳脚跟
I mean, I just found my footing again,
而你差点害我丢了这一切
and you put me in danger of losing it all
就他妈因为一头大象
over some fucking elephant?
盖文你总是说
Gavin, you always said that
在'互利' 要想创造奇迹
here at Hooli, "In order to achieve greatness,
必须先造福人类
we must first achieve goodness."
对
Right.
所以呢
So?
所以
So...
我是肖恩·帕克婚礼上的伴娘
I was a bridesmaid at Sean Parker's wedding
他当时把活兔子当做毛绒玩具送给宾客
when he handed out live bunnies as plush toys.
那不是造福人类
That wasn't goodness.
那是危害生命
It was badness.
这也一样
And so is this.
你利用濒危生物
You're using endangered animals
只为了在董事会议上表达自己的观点
just to make points at board meetings.
我那是仔细推敲后用动物做的比较
I'm drawing thoughtful, zoological comparisons.
但你就不能给他们看动物的图片吗
But couldn't you just show them a picture of these animals?
用互利引擎随便搜一下就有成千上万的结果
A simple Hooli search would yield thousands of choices.
帕特莉斯多谢你对我这么坦诚
Patrice, I thank you for your honesty,
那我也对你毫无保留
and I will repay you with my own.
我真心希望再也不要在我办公室里见到你
I honestly never want to see you in my offices again.
你被解雇了
You're fired.
胡佛
Hoover?
-去把那空中起重机搞来 -是先生
- Scramble that Skycrane. - Yes, sir.
来吧请进
Please, uh, come in.
进来吧坐
Come in. Have a seat.
我不会占用你太多时间
I won't take a lot of your time.
我保证
I promise.
好吧
Okay.
你想喝点茶吗
Would you like some tea?
我可以用电热板烧壶水
I can put a kettle on the hot plate.
不用我没事谢谢
Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you.
一点不麻烦
There's no trouble.
刚想起来我有盒
You know what? I have a box of--
罗塞尔巧克力如果蜘蛛还没爬进去的话
of Russell Stover's if the spiders didn't get into 'em.
贾里德你是想说虚假用户的事吗
Jared, is this about the fake users?
你知道了
You know?
两周前我想看看用户行为搞清楚
Two days ago, I wanted to look at user behavior to figure out
是什么刺♥激♥了用户数量突然增长
what spurred the sudden uptick,
然后我发现了一些事
and, uh, well, I noticed something.
几乎我们所有的新用户
Almost all of our new users
都只是上传一张照片
were just uploading a single photo
放到一个共享文件夹里然后第二天
into a shared folder, and then the next day,
他们会把照片拷出来然后第三天
they would take the photo out and then put it back in
再把它放回去就干了这些
the day after that and that's it.
刚好达到了当前活跃用户的最低标准
You know, just enough to qualify as a daily active user.
典型的水军行为
Classic click-farm behavior.
然后我想起在浴缸里跟你说的那些话
And then I remembered our conversation in the bathtub,
那就就只可能是你
and it just-- it had to be you.
理查德我真的很抱歉
Richard, I am so sorry.
没关系
It's okay.
-你打我一下会让你好受点吗 -不会
- Would it make you feel better to-- to strike me? - No.
你是出于好心贾里德
You-- you had good intentions, Jared.
说实话你别想太多
Honestly, don't give it another thought.
就只是
Just, you know...
这事现在就只是你知我知
you and I right now are the only ones that know about it.
好吗
Okay?
几周之后等我们花光了钱
And in a few weeks, when we run out of money,
一切总会结束
this will all be over anyway.
-理查德 -怎么了
- Richard? - Yes?
只属于我们的小秘密
We have a secret.
对
Yeah.
我发誓
I mean, I swear to God,
要是你们当时在场
your dicks would have blown
你们的屌♥都得从你们的屁♥眼♥里
out of the back of your assholes
被喷出来我对天发誓
if you had been there, hand to God.
伙计们出什么事了
Hey, guys. What's going on?
理查德你坐我做到了
Richard, sit down. I did it.
我拯救了公♥司♥
I saved the company.
你做了什么怎么办到的
What do you-- What? How?
贾里德你哭过吗
Jared, have you been crying?
对但只是平常原因
Yes, but for ordinary reasons.
请继续
Please, go on.
好的我当时在罗斯伍德吃午饭
Okay. I was at The Rosewood for lunch.
我是说当时是午餐时间
I mean, it was the lunch hour.
我人在那但没吃饭跟往常一样
I was there, I wasn't eating, the usual.
我走到安德森[投资者]旁边说了个笑话
So, I walk over to Andreessen and I say something funny,
但他给我玩面无表情
but he stone-faces me.
你说了什么
What did you say?
这不重要重点是那笑话超好笑
It doesn't matter. The point is, it was hilarious,
但他什么反应都没有他的朋友们也是
but he gave me nothing and neither did his friends.
然后我意识到了原因
Then I realized why.
你没那么好笑吗
You're not funny?
不吉尔弗约尔但我意识到了原因
No, Gilfoyle, but that is.
不那是因为所有人都认为
No, it's that everybody thinks
魔笛手肯定死定了
Pied Piper is in this death spiral,
所以被我超好笑的笑话逗笑并不合适
so it would be inappropriate to laugh at my hysterical joke.
然后我灵光一闪
And it hits me.
我有他们并不知情的情报
I know something that they don't.
我知道用户数增加了
I know about the uptick.
用户数增加
The uptick?
对用户数增加
Yes, the uptick!
最近突然间用户数大幅上涨
The recent sudden surge in users.
是啊那个啊
Yeah. That.
没错所以我们正峰回路转的时候
Yes, that. So, while our fortune is rising,
其他人却都觉得我们要完蛋了
everybody else thinks that it's plummeting,
而我可以像弹弓一样
and I can use these opposing forces
利用这两个矛盾势力推波助澜
to a multiplying effect like a slingshot,
我决定了
and then I make a decision.
我要出手了
I'm gonna make a move.
我神秘兮兮地提了下用户量激增
So, I say something cryptic about the uptick,
然后转身就走
and I walk away.
-你怎么提的 -不知道忘了
- What did you say? - I don't know. I can't remember.
我走开看到麦克纳米在吃牛小排
But I walk over and I see McNamee's having the short rib,
听说挺好吃的但不会腻
which I hear is delicious but not too heavy,
我就跟他讲
and then I say to him,
你要是想在这里吃饭
"You're gonna have to tuck in your tie-dye
可不能穿扎染衣服
if you want to eat here."