硅谷

Silicon Valley S03E02

Part 1 Dec. 29, 2019, 7:29 p.m.

医学中心
理查德根据你所有检查的结果
Well, Richard, according to all of your test results,
你这种情况在医学界叫作
you are what we in the medical field call
健康
healthy.
事实上你身上有一种光彩
In fact, you've got kind of a glow about you.
-真的吗 -千真万确
- Oh, really? - Absolutely.
如果不是医学上不可能
You know, if it were medically possible,
我甚至以为你怀孕了
I might even think that you were pregnant.
当然了我以为我女朋友怀孕了
Of course, I thought my girlfriend was pregnant,
但我确信我错了
and I was sure wrong about that.
把戒指还给我
Hey, give me that ring back!
真是一团糟
What a mess.
真是一团糟
What a mess that was.
最近你有做什么大的改变吗
So, been any big changes for you,
比如控制饮食或者锻炼
diet or exercise?
事实上我被解雇了
Well, I actually got fired
从我自己公♥司♥首席执行官的位置上
as CEO of my company.
我现在是首席技术官
I'm working now as the CTO
汇报给新首席执行官杰克·巴克
under the new CEO, Jack Barker.
等等你在你自己的公♥司♥有了个老板
Wait a minute. You got a boss at your own company?
是的我知道这听起来不太好
Yeah, I know that sounds bad,
但事实上他掌管所有的预算
but honestly, he handles all the budgeting,
所有风险投资
all the VC funding.
他刚刚给我们租了一个
He just negotiated a great new lease
超棒的新办公室
on our new offices.
我不知道我觉得这对我来说是好事
I don't know. I think this could be great for me.
孩子我不觉得我能接受
Boy, I don't think I could have another doctor
另外一个医生来这当我的老板
coming in here, being my boss.
不行就像是 "老板
No. It'd be like, "Hey, boss,
我能听听他的心跳吗
Is it okay if I listen to his heart?
可以吗不可以抱歉
Can I do that? Oh, no? Sorry.
那我不听了好吧
No, I won't. Okay.
你说什么就是什么"
Whatever you say!"
-真有趣 -是很有趣
- Ah, funny. - It is funny. Yeah.
不过如果你觉得可以也很好
But listen, if it works for you, that's great.
只是还有件事
Just one more thing.
我需要检查一下你的睾丸
I've gotta check your testicles.
天啊好吧
Oh my God. Okay.
是检查疝气什么的吗
What, for like a hernia or something?
不我只想确定它们还在
No. I just wanna make sure they're still there.
这就是我们的新办公室吗
This is going to be our office?
所有这些
All of this?
是的杰克说整层楼都是我们的
Yeah, Jack said we have the whole floor.
看看那厨房♥ 太棒了
Wow, look at that kitchen. This is great.
理查德那是我们的新标志吗
Richard, is that our new logo?
魔笛手
我喜欢简洁优雅
I like it. It's clean and elegant,
但又不是完全无害
but not without some danger.
先生们欢迎
Gentlemen, welcome.
我去掉了吹长笛的那位仁兄
I moved away from the flute-playing guy.
不知道你们有没有发现
I don't know if you guys realized it,
那有一点生殖崇拜
but that was a little phallic.
我不想在这上面浪费你们的时间
I didn't want to waste your time with it,
所以我就自己决定了
so I just pulled the trigger.
这是马里·谢布莱设计的
Mari Sheibley did this.
社交网站Foursquare首席设计师
马里·谢布莱
Mari Sheibley.
一定让你破费了
That must've set you back a bit.
没有她是我的朋友
No. She's a friend.
我也...认识她
Yeah. I know her... as well.
偶然认识的
Casually.
何不让我带你们参观一下你们的新家呢
So, why don't I show you guys your new home?
希望这满足你们的标准
Hopefully, it lives up to your standards.
跟我们之前住的小破屋相比
Yeah, compared to the shit shack we're used to,
任何地方都是进步
anything's an improvement.
侮辱源于尊重
An insult born of respect.
如果我们开始互相恭维我才担心
I'll worry when we start complimenting each other.
去死吧
Fucking dick.
我猜你们看到了弘树放置的水的设施
I assume you saw Hiroki putting in the water feature.
风水好这很重要
Good feng shui. Gotta have that.
这里是工程师区域
This is the engineering area.
这是我们工作的地方吗
We're gonna work here?
那里有一个独♥立♥的配有专业人员的
That is a separate, professionally-catered
小厨房♥
micro-kitchen back there.
希望你们在头脑饥饿但绝不肚饿
I want you hungry here, never here.
这些都太棒了但我们真的支付得起吗
This is all great, but can we really afford all this?
来我的办公室理查德
Hey, step into my office, Richard.
-这里 -好吧
- Here. - Okay.
我想给你看点东西
I wanna show you something.
这里比埃利希那鬼地方好多了
This is way better than Erlich's shithole.
成功的三大基石
"成功的三大基石"
"The Conjoined Triangles of Success"?
我发明的
I invented that,
现在商学院都在教这个
and now it's taught at business schools.
看到最底下是什么了吗
You see what's on the bottom here?
一切的基础
The foundation of the whole thing.
-发展 -发展
- Growth? - Growth.
越多的聪明人来这里工作
The more brilliant people we can get working here,
我们就能越快地
then the faster we can get
将你脑海中的想法展示给全世界
whatever is in your head out into the world.
让我给你讲个故事
Let me tell you a story.
1999年
In 1999,
谷歌♥还只是个小创业公♥司♥ 像我们这样
Google was a little startup, just like we are.
当他们开始引进厨师和女按♥摩♥师时
And when they started bringing in chefs and masseuses,
我们认为 "他们是傻瓜"
we thought, "They're nuts!"
但他们吸引了最棒的人才
But they were attracting the best possible people,
从而能够创造出最棒的产品
and they were able to create the best product,
现在他们市值超过四千亿
and now they're worth over $400 billion.
你知道这家公♥司♥叫什么吗
And do you know the name of that company?
不是谷歌♥吗你一开始就说了
Google, right? You said it at the beginning of the story.
你说得对我不该说的
You're right. I did that wrong.
但重点是
And the whole point is
这一切都是可靠的投资
that all of this is a sound investment
只要我们能招到最好的人才
as long as we are able to get the best people
做出最棒的产品
and make the best possible product.
好吧谁赢谁拿大显示器
All right. Winner gets the big monitor.
我知道规则
I understand how this works.
准备好了
Ready?
石头剪子布
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
接受现实吧
Suck it.
早该知道你会出石头
I should've known you'd throw rock.
你们巴基斯坦人都这样本性
That's all you know in Pakistan. It's in your blood.
是不是你们那猜拳就叫石头石头石头
Don't you guys call it "Rock, Rock, Rock"?
你真逗把你那堆种族歧视的笑话都打在
That's funny. You should type up all your racist jokes
你那小显示器上吧
on your tiny monitor.
显示器不够大吗
Is that monitor not big enough?
需要更大的吗
You need a bigger monitor?
只要写在那边的单子上
You just put it on the list over there,
采购的人会帮你搞定的
and our purchasing guy will hook you up.
-真的吗 -必须的
- Seriously? - Absolutely.
贾里德你呢需要什么新办公设备吗
Hey, Jared, how about you? You need any new gear for the office?
不用了我自带电脑
No, I'm BYOC.
需要什么尽管讲
Let me know if you need anything.
理查德这个纸箱可以给我吗
Richard, do you think it'd be okay if I took this box?
下班后我要搬家不住诺亚的客房♥了
I'm moving out of Noah's guest house after work.
然后睡纸箱里吗
And you want to sleep in that box?
不是
No.
我很久没睡纸箱了快别逗了
I haven't slept in a box in years. Stop.
既然'魔笛手'拿到了投资
Now that Pied Piper's funded,
我就住得起原来的公♥寓♥了
I have enough money to move back into my condo.
是吗祝贺
Oh. Congratulations.
我还以为你已经卖♥♥掉了
I thought you sold it.