版税（2020）

版税
第一季 第七集
二 三
Two, three, and...
*你为何不 为何不*
*Why can't, oh, why can't you*
*为何不能为我开心*
*Why can't you be happy for me?*
不错
Yeah, it's nice.
*我不愿要你 难道你不开心我找到了*
*Didn't want you around, so aren't you glad I found*
*比我小十岁的貌美肤白吗*
*Someone ten years younger than me?*
她超可爱
Yeah, she's so cute.
*我很开心听到你过的生活*
*I'm happy to hear about the life you've led*
*从我放手给你自♥由♥的那天起*
*Since, uh, the day l set you free*
*宝贝 你为何*
*So, baby, why can't*
*你为何*
*Why can't you*
*为何不能为我开心*
*Why can't you be happy for me?*
*与此同时*
*And in the meantime*
等等 停
Wait, stop.
*你为何不能把钱还我*
*Won't you give me back the money*
停停停
Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
*就是你...*
*That you...*
-皮尔斯 -怎么了
- Pierce. - What's up?
你是从甩人的那一方角度出发写的歌♥吗
Did you write this song from the dumper's point of view?
对 这是分手歌♥
Yeah, it's a breakup song.
这不是我们所说的分手歌♥
That's not how a breakup song works.
没人在乎甩了阿黛尔的那个人
No... no one cares about the guy who dumped Adele.
这歌♥从来不是关乎甩人的那一方
The song's never about the dumper.
所有的分手歌♥主题都一致
All breakup songs are essentially the same.
我们都感受过拒绝 心痛
We've all felt that rejection, that heartache.
我们需要把那种原始的情感
We just need to take that raw emotion
变成一拳 蠢到绝妙的那种
and slap on a hook that's so dumb that it's brilliant.
好吧
Okay, uh...
我要向你坦白
I've got a confession to make.
你说的那些东西 我都没
All that stuff you said, I don't...
我都不知道是什么 我没被人甩过
I don't know what that is. I've never been broken up with.
-你在开玩笑 -没有
- You're kidding. - Nope.
-你没被人甩过 -从没有
- You've never been broken up with? - Never.
我就是个三好男友
I'm just a tremendous boyfriend.
你从来没经历过这种感觉
How are you supposed to write about something
-又要怎么写这类歌♥ -我不知道
- you've never been through? - I don't know.
也许这首歌♥
Maybe-maybe you're better off
你最好还是一个人写
if you just write this on your own.
不行 皮尔斯 我们需要彼此
No. Pierce, we need each other.
我们是个团队
We're a team.
我们二人同心 能完成一个词曲作家的工作
With our powers combined, we do the work of one songwriter.
-你只需要灵感 -对
- You just need inspiration. - Yeah.
你只需要...被人甩了
You just... need to get dumped.
你们想知道些有趣的事吗
You want to know something interesting?
没有去过太空也能写出《星球大战》噢
No one had to go to space to write Star Wars.
这也许听着很疯狂 但听我说
This might sound crazy, but just go with me.
接下去12个小时 你和我约会
For the next 12 hours, you and I will date each other.
然后 当你在情感上
Then, when you've become completely
完全依附我时 我就和你分手
emotionally dependent on me, I will break up with you.
你愿意为我这么做
You'd do that for me?
这听起来是个很棒的计划 各位
I mean, that sounds like a great plan, guys.
或者你们可以一人♥弹♥钢琴
Or one of you could play the piano,
一人想想押韵的歌♥词
and the other one could just think of words that rhyme.
开始了
It has begun.
好吧好吧
Okay, okay, okay.
很好 那现在我们在约会了
Great. So... we're dating now'?
没错
Yeah.
好极了
Right on.
让我先发个短♥信♥给女友 跟她分个手
Let me just text my girlfriend really quick, break up with her.
好了 皮尔斯 我们已经在一起一段时间了
All right, Pierce, we've been going together for a while now.
十小时 我们跟对方父母视频了
Ten hours. We've FaeeTimed each other's parents.
还一起建造了一个家
We built a home together.
你现在爱上我了吗
Are you in love with me yet?
-没有 -那大概还要多久嘛
- No. - Well, what's your ETA on this?
这个计划只有在
The plan's only gonna work
你真的心碎的情况下才能奏效
if you actually get your heart broken.
所以看着我的眼睛
So look into my eyes
说说你为什么喜欢我
and tell me what you like about me.
好吧 但如果我们这么做 我得警告你
All right, but if we do this, I-I got to wam you,
你也很有可能爱上我
you could very well fall in love with me.
是啊 因为你有
Oh, yeah, right, 'cause you just have
神奇的男友魔法
this amazing boyfriend magic.
这不是魔法
Um, it's not magic.
而是个简单的科学事实
It is a very simple scientific fact.
听着 我刚好比世界上大部分男人都性感
Look, I happen to be hotter than most guys on the planet.
这意味着就算我说些其他人
So that means that if I just say some regular shit
会对你说的土味情话
that any guy could say to you,
从我嘴里说出来的 也会显得更加动情
it's just gonna sound a lot better coming from me.
就算我的词汇量不怎么好 或大
And it's like my vocabulary isn't even that good... or big.
只是当我说情话的时候
It's just that when I say things,
就听起来...我也说不好
they sound... I don't know...
又好 又大
good... big.
比如 我喜欢你跟我说话的样子
Like, I like how you talk to me.
莎拉 真的 你是每天
Sara, honestly, you're the thing
让我起床的动力
that gets me out of bed in the morning.
不过说真的 如果不是你
Seriously, though, if you didn't call
每天早上打电♥话♥给我
to wake me up every morning,
我觉得我永远不会来上班
I don't think I'd come into work ever.
好快
Well, that happened quickly.
是啊 抱歉
Ha, yeah, sorry about that.
-下次我争取时间久一点 -不
- I-I'll last longer next time. - No.
我是说感情升温快
I mean things escalated quickly.
你的持久力很可以
The duration was fine.
关键是
The point is...
刚才真的很特别
that was really special.
对 是啊
Yeah. Yeah, it was.
说来有趣 我跟这么多女人在一起过
Man, it's funny, I've been with a whole lot of chicks, man,
但我真的
but I, I actually...
-喜欢你 莎拉 -我知道
- like you, Sara. - I know.
我也喜欢你
I like you, too.
皮尔斯 我知道今晚的初衷很功利
Pierce, I know this night started one way,
但我感觉
but I feel like...
你觉得我们可能误打误撞到了
Do you think we might have stumbled onto something that's,
一些完美的真情实感吗
I don't know, perfect?
你不用说什么
I mean, you don't have to say anything,
但我一定要一吐为快
but I just want to put it out there
无论发生什么 我爱你
that no matter what happens, I love you.
我觉得我也一直爱着你
And I think that I always have.
我也要跟你说实话
I-I-I am gonna be honest with you.
我只曾经对一个女人动过真情
I have only ever felt this close to one person.
而我最后还甩了她
And I fucking dumped her ass.
但我不会再犯同样的错误了
But I'm not gonna make that same mistake again.
莎拉 我也爱你
Sara, I love you, too.
天呐 皮尔斯 我真的很...
Oh, my God, Pierce, I am so, so...
抱歉
Sorry.
因为我觉得咱俩不能成
'Cause I don't think this is gonna work out.
什么
What?
已经12个小时了
It's been 12 hours.
到分手时间了 爱情小子
Breakup time, lover boy.
别开玩笑了 莎拉
Quit joking around, Sara.
我其实没开玩笑
I'm actually not joking around.
我真的觉得在你身边感到窒息
I actually feel really sufïocated by you.
我就觉得 是我们太相似吗
I just feel like, are we too similar?
还是我们不够相似 我们为什么要吵架
Are we not similar enough? Why are we fighting?!
我不知道 是你挑起的
I don't know. You started it.
出现了 责怪彼此
Oh, there we go, blaming each other again.
你知道 我觉得我们最好
You know what, I think it would just be best
都互相冷静一下
if we just both took a break.
等等 莎拉 莎拉
Wait, Sara. Sara!