天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S01E02

Part 3 Sept. 30, 2020, 10:08 a.m.

that whispers commands in my head and the Chief.
亚洲小女孩还有老大
All right. If we're even gonna have a
好了如果我们有
chance of beating Diamond City,
打败钻石城的机会
we have to take this case seriously.
我们得认真对待这个案子
I know you'll be tempted to make a bunch of stupid ass puns--
我知道你想说一些愚蠢的双关
I'm guessing whoever killed him was silent but deadly.
我猜杀了他的人是个沉默却致命的人
Fitz! I hope this evidence ain't been tainted!
菲茨我希望这个证物不会被污染
Yeah, very funny. Cut it out.
好很有趣闭嘴吧
Something about this case stinks.
这个案子有股臭味
I don't know if we can crack it, but duty calls.
我不知道我们能不能破开但使命召唤[拉屎]
Get it? Butt duty?
明白吗屁♥股♥使命
Enough! It's time to get serious
够了是时候认真点了
and find out what wiped this asshole out.
弄明白是什么弄死了这混♥蛋♥[把这肛♥门♥擦干净了]
Goddamn it! Now you got me doing it.
该死现在你让我也双关开了
14, 15, 16.
14 15 16
Sixteen wrinkles on right hemisphere.
右边有16个皱纹
One, two, three Back up, Chief.
1 2 3... 起来吧老大
That stink-eye gonna give you pink eye.
那屁♥眼♥会让你变红眼的
We joke about this, kids, but remember,
我们在拿这个开玩笑但记住
never put your eyeball directly on a booty hole.
永远不要把眼球直对屁♥眼♥
Have you seen this asshole?
你见过这个肛♥门♥吗
Ugh! No!
没
How about you? You seen this asshole?
你呢你见过这个肛♥门♥吗
Shit! We don't have a single lead.
该死我们一点线索也没有
Dusty, pull your pants up.
达斯廷把你的裤子穿好
I can see your assho--
我能看到你的肛...
Wait a minute!
等等
This asshole is at least 65% lighter than your asshole.
这个肛♥门♥至少比你的肛♥门♥要白百分之六十五
The victim had his asshole bleached.
受害者的肛♥门♥漂白了
Yeah, and that looks real professional too.
好那看起来真的很专业
Probably went down to Banzai Butthole Bleaching.
也许去屁♥眼♥漂白万岁看看
Open noon to 4 p.M. Every day of the year but Christmas.
除圣诞节外每天都从中午营业至下午四点
I probably shouldn't ask, but how do you know that?
我也许不该问这个问题你怎么知道
Because I get my cat's butthole bleached every Tuesday.
因为我每周二给我的猫漂白屁♥眼♥
She was walking around one day, flipped her tail up at me
有一天她到处转悠朝着我摇尾巴
and that thing just looked evil. It was dark,
那东西看起来很邪恶很黑
like the brown eye of Sauron or something.
就像的索伦的棕色眼睛还是什么的
I tried to bleach it at home myself, to be thrifty,
我试过在家自己漂白能省点钱
and I used Clorox, but I ended up melting my cat's butthole shut.
我用了高乐氏但结果我把我家猫的屁♥眼♥堵住了
Trick's on me, 'cause that cat butthole reconstructive surgery
结果适得其反因为猫的屁♥眼♥修复手术
cost me way more than I saved,
远比我的存款多多了
plus I had to teach her how to shit again
而且我还得再教她一次怎么上厕所
by holding her over the litter box
通过举着她在小盒子上面
and squeezing her little belly like a Go-GURT
像挤压吸吸乐一样挤压她的小肚子
till her butthole opened back up. But it kept healing shut,
直到她的屁♥眼♥开了为止但它还是会堵住
so I had to take both thumbs and a pair of chopsticks
所以我得用两个拇指还有一双筷子
and pry it open. That's how I got these scratch marks on my face.
撬开它这就是我脸上抓痕的由来
Yes, I get it, Dusty! I get it
好了我知道了达斯廷我知道了
Electricity fills the air
空气中激♥情♥涌动
as this crowd awaits the new sensation
等待着新的刺♥激♥的人们
that has made dog fighting exciting again.
使得狗狗大战激动人心起来了
Delbert, are you as charged up as I am? Yeah.
德尔贝你和我一样激动吗是的
Okay, well, here he is, folks. The canine crusher,
好了他来了各位犬中的粉碎机
the puppy paralyzer,
狗狗抑制者
Bullet the Badass!
给坏蛋点子弹看看
Bullet the Badass!
给坏蛋点子弹看看
Bullet climbed up on the top rope.
子弹爬到了顶端
Oh, my God! Is he gonna do his signature move?
天他要使出他的标志动作了吗
Yes, he is!
是的
It's time to apply...
是时候涂...
the lipstick!
口红了
Hi, my name is Billy Brownstar.
我叫比利·布朗思达
Just a regular guy here to get my stink-hole bleached.
就是一个来漂白肛♥门♥的普通人
There have been a lot of complaints.
有很多投诉
Can you make it look like Angelina Jolie sucking a lemon?
你能让它看起来像安吉丽娜·朱莉吸柠檬吗
Oh, you want a number four?
你想要4号♥套餐
Oh, just one thing before you Clorox my dirt box.
在你给我漂白之前有一件事
I've been looking for a friend of mine.
我一直在找我的一个朋友
Is this asshole one of your customers?
这个肛♥门♥是你的客户之一吗
Why do you have that? Are you a cop?
你怎么有那个你是警♥察♥吗
No, I'm not a cop.
不我不是警♥察♥
My name is... Donnie Doodyhole.
我叫... 唐尼·杜迪霍
Get your purple asshole out of here!
快带着你的紫色屁♥眼♥滚蛋
I'm not going anywhere.
我哪里都不去
Wait. It's purple?
等等那是紫色的吗
You anal bleached my eyes!
你漂白了我的眼睛
Who can spare a hamburger?
谁能给我施舍一个汉堡
You got a hamburger? I love hamburgers.
你有汉堡吗我爱汉堡
God damn, Chief! What happened to your eyes?
见鬼了警长你的眼睛怎么了
You look like you got teabagged by a birthday clown.
你看起来就像被一个生日小丑给泡了
I wish!
我倒希望如此
Some Asian lady tried to blind me with anal bleach.
一位亚洲女士试图用肛♥门♥漂白剂弄瞎我
Damn, you kinky, Chief!
见鬼你真变♥态♥ 警长
Chief, have you been up all night?
警长你一整夜没睡吗
How can you tell? I don't see any dark circles.
你怎么看出来的我看不到黑眼圈
As a matter of fact, yes, I have been up all night.
事实上没错我整夜没睡
I've been working on this.
我一直在研究这个案子
This is getting a little crazy, Chief.
这有点疯狂警长
Maybe we should inform the Mayor.
也许我们该上报给市长
No, do not tell Karen.
不别告诉凯伦
She's still pissed off at me for standing her up on that date.
她还在为我失约而生气
All because I ran out of testosterone patches.
那只是因为我用完了睾酮贴片
And your mustache fell out.
还有你的胡子脱落了
And you grew them big old titties.
然后你的胸变大了
My dick was very confused.
我的阴♥茎♥很困惑
But, Chief, why is this ass case
但是警长为什么这个屁♥股♥案件
so important to you?
对你来说那么重要
I mean it can't just be about Diamond Shitty.
这不可能只是因为垃圾钻石城
I've never talked about it,
我从没提过
but I've been in this situation before.
但我以前遇到过这种情况
It was 1985.
那是1985年
I was handed a Jane Doe severed ass case.
我接手了一个被切断的无名女屁♥股♥的案子
Just an ass. No legs, no body.
只有一个屁♥股♥ 没有腿没有身体
Nothing but ass.
除了屁♥股♥ 没有别的
I became obsessed with solving the case.
我开始沉迷于破案
It was all I could think about.
我满脑子想的都是它
Months went by with no leads and it drove me into madness.
几个月都没有线索我被逼疯了
Ass madness.
变成了屁♥股♥疯子
You're a shitty cop, Crawford.
你是个垃圾警♥察♥ 克劳福德
No ifs, ands or butts!
没有"如果" "然后"或"但是"
See what I did there?
看到我的所作所为了吗
Ass puns! No!
屁♥股♥蛋不
I never found out who that ass belonged to.
我从未查出那屁♥股♥是谁的
I descended into a dark place where the sun don't shine.
我从此有了阴影
That cold case haunts me to this day.
那个悬案一直困扰我到现在
And yeah, I confess that isn't a sunset on these patches.
坦白说这徽章上的不是落日
It is a puckering butthole.
而是起皱的屁♥眼♥
It's a tribute to her.
是对她的致敬
But I'm not going to let history repeat itself.
但我不会让历史重演
Excuse me, I've got work to do.
不好意思我要工作了
You'll never figure out my secret!
你永远不会发现我的秘密
Yes, I will.
不我会的
No, you won't!
不你不会
Okay, he's losing his damn mind.
他失去理智了
We gotta tell the Mayor about this. You heard the Chief.
我们得告诉市长你听到警长说的了
We can't tell her! He gave us a direct order.
我们不能告诉她他直接下了命令
Sometimes a good soldier's gotta know when not to follow orders.
有时候优秀的战士要知道何时违背命令
I've been a bad butthole!
我是个坏屁♥眼♥
Somebody spank me.
快来人收拾我吧
Hey, guys, I think I'm onto something.
伙计们我想我有线索了