天堂镇警局（2018）

You give argyle meth, we give guns.
给我们菱形纹冰♥毒♥ 我们给你们枪
Anybody ever tell you, you sound like that motherfuckin' vampire
有没有人告诉过你你听上去像那些该死的吸血鬼
that count shit on Sesame Street? You know that purple son of a bitch.
字幕
That's ridiculous. Now let's get down to business.
太荒谬了 来说正事吧
One gun, ha ha ha!
一把枪 哈哈哈
Two guns! Ha ha ha!
两把枪 哈哈哈
The deal's about to go down, Fitz. Weapons out.
马上要进行交易了 菲茨 掏出武器
What the hell? That is not a weapon.
搞什么 那不是武器
It's a piccolo.
这是一支短笛
And it is a weapon in the war against my PTSD.
这是对抗我创伤后应激综合征的武器
My therapist says, and I quote, "Playing this piccolo
我的治疗室说 原话是"吹奏这跟短笛
will keep you from losing your shit."
你就不会拉裤子里"
Your therapist that owns a music store?
你那个开乐器店的治疗室吗
Technically he just works the counter.
严格上来说他只是个前台
Why you laugh at me? I like to count.
你为什么笑我 我就喜欢数数
Calm the fuck down, Vladimir,
冷静点 弗拉迪米尔
or I'm Putin a bullet in your ass.
不然我就给你屁♥股♥来一枪
Robbie, you asshole, I said that joke to you on the way here,
罗比 混♥蛋♥ 我来的路上和你说的这个笑话
and you stole it.
你剽窃我
Fitz, not yet! Don't blow it!
菲茨 不行 别吹
Sorry, Gina, I have to.
抱歉 吉娜 我不得不吹
Dr. Larry says it's thera-flute-tic.
拉瑞医生说这是音乐治疗
It's not even a real word.
这都不是个词
See, Gina? This new piccolo therapy saved the day.
看 吉娜 新的短笛疗法拯救了世界
I feel just fine. And by the way, I do take requests.
我感觉很棒 以及我接受问话
Shove it up your asshole, you goddamn twat waffle!
塞进你屁♥眼♥里吧 你这个该死的混♥蛋♥
Sorry I don't know any Anne Murray.
抱歉 我不认识安妮·莫莉
**I really like hard drugs I like to smoke 'em up*
*我喜欢毒品 我喜欢抽
**I like to shoot 'em up...*
*我喜欢射...
Oh, what the hell, my key's not workin'.
搞什么 我的钥匙没用了
That's right, Bullet, I changed the lock.
没错 子弹 我换了锁
I know you've been snorting up all the contraband.
我知道你一直在偷违♥禁♥品♥
What? Me?
什么 我吗
I never snort--
我从来不偷...
Holy shit! Anyone else feel like walking to Las Vegas? Aagh!
上帝啊 有人想走去拉斯维加斯吗
You don't have access to the evidence room anymore.
你不准再进入证物处了
So, clean up your act, Arfie Lange.
所以好好表现 阿尔菲兰格
Okay. How could you tell I was using again?
但你怎么知道我又开始抽了
Let's just say there were signs.
有一些迹象吧
Everyone, meet the black chick I hooked up with last night.
给大家介绍一下我昨晚上的辣黑妹
She let me put it in all three holes.
她三个洞都让我插
Dad, now we've got Russian mobsters trading guns for argyle meth.
爸爸 现在还有俄♥罗♥斯♥黑帮用枪来交易菱形纹冰♥毒♥
This thing's growing.
事态越来越严重了
I don't think Terry Two Toes wasn't the kingpin, after all.
我觉得双趾特里不是幕后主谋
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great job, Encyclopedia Brownhole.
干得漂亮 棕洞百科
I don't have time for this shit.
我没时间跟你搞这个
Chief, there's a 1-8-7 downtown.
局长 镇上发生谋杀案
A 10-46 out by the interstate,
州警协助
and Hopson's got a number two in progress.
霍普森正在进行大号♥
And it's a humdinger.
非常巨量
Who's gonna change my diaper?
谁要换我的尿布
Not it! Not it!
我不 我不
Not-- Oh, goddamn it!
我...该死
Oh, don't puke, don't puke. Eugh!
别吐 别吐
Oh, those white pubes.
这些白色的阴毛
Looks like David Letterman's beard down there.
看上去就像下面长了大卫·莱特曼的胡子
I say it looks like Betty White with a dead snake in her mouth.
我觉得像贝蒂·怀特嘴里有一条死蛇
Mother of God, I can't take anymore!
上帝啊 我受不了了
Listen, Hopson, I'm sending you on an assignment.
听着 霍普森 我要给你一个任务
A secret undercover mission to this nursing home.
去这个养老院进行秘密卧底
There's, uh... nefarious activity going on there. I...
那里面正在进行一些...违法勾当 我...
I need you to get to the bottom of it.
我需要你去查清楚
I finally get an assignment.
我终于有任务了
Hey, if I'm going undercover, I should wear a wire, right?
如果我要去做卧底 我应该戴窃听器吧
Oh, yes, of course.
没错 当然了
Test, test...
测试 测试
Can... you... hear... me... Chief?
你...能...听...到.. 吗...局长
Loud and clear.
非常清楚
Thanks for doing me a solid, Hopson.
谢谢你帮了我个大忙 霍普森
I'm doing you one, but it ain't a solid.
我真的有个忙 而且很大
Oh, it's like I sat in a bowl of raw eggs.
我好像坐在了一碗生鸡蛋上
Not it! Bullet, get Hopson out of here.
没空 子弹 带霍普森离开这里
Drive him down to the nursing home.
开车带他去养老院
Okay, can you hook me up with a smidge of coke first?
好吧 能不能先给我搞听可乐
A dog's gonna drive, he should be alert.
狗要开车必须提高警惕
Get out!
出去
Oh, Hopson, if you get in any distress, just give 'em this.
霍普森 你如果遇到麻烦 给他们这个
Chief, I want this pickle-dicked, piccolo player off the force!
局长 让这个吹黄瓜的不要参与办案
Untie your panties, Jabowski, 'cause that's not happening.
脱裤子吧 贾伯夫斯基 因为那不可能
Race relations in Paradise are
我们雇佣布莱基[黑人]警官后
better than ever since we hired Officer Blackie.
天堂镇从来没有如此种族和谐
Then Blackie died and we hired Fitzgerald.
然后布莱基死了 我们雇了菲茨杰拉德
Blackie, we miss you long time.
布莱基 我们好想你
He's as useless as a one-inch dildo. He doesn't even carry a gun.
他就像个一厘米的丁丁般没用 连枪都没有
Look, Gina, PTSD doesn't go away, overnight.
吉娜 创伤后应激综合征不会瞬间消失
I'm trying different therapies, but I haven't packed heat
我试过不同的治疗 但自从芝加哥那次意外后
since the Chicago incident.
我一直都没有恢复
It was 2014, Christmas Day.
那是2014年 圣诞节
My partner and I were responding to a call.
我和我的搭档出警
There was a shark loose at the bomb factory.
炸♥弹♥场的一条鲨鱼丢了
Fitz, nobody gives a shit about your flashback!
菲茨 没人在乎你的回忆
Yeah, and no more of this PTSD crap.
别再扯什么创伤后应激综合征
It's not real. It's an excuse for being a pussy.
那都不是真的 只是怂货的借口
Yeah, like all them kids faking Down syndrome.
就像那些假装唐氏综合征的孩子们
They just squint, eat pigeons, and get their own Olympics.
他们只会眯着眼睛吃鸽子赢奖牌
Either Fitz gets his shit together and carries a gun,
如果菲茨不恢复过来配好枪
so I have some backup out there, or I quit.
让我能有增援的话 我就辞职
All right, you got me. I ate the pigeons!
好吧 被你抓到了 鸽子是我吃的
Gina, if it's that important to you, I...
吉娜 如果这对你来说这么重要 我...
I'll try to carry a gun.
我会努力配枪
Fine, but do you remember
好吧 但你记得
the Paradise PD police gun safety motto?
天堂镇警局枪♥支♥安全座右铭吗
We ain't got no gun safety motto. Correct.
我们没有枪♥支♥安全座右铭 正确
Don't judge me!
不许批评我
Hello, I'm Dr. Johann.
你好 我是约翰医生
Oh, what a surprise to see a young man like you here.
在这看到你这么年轻的人真是惊讶
I didn't think high school let out this early.
高中放学没这么早吧
Yeah, that's stupid.
还真是蠢
Hey, this is my, uh...
这是我的
it's my grandfather or some shit, his name's Stanley--
他算是我的祖父吧 他叫斯坦利
Sparkles! Mr. Merky Sparkles is my name.
小火花 我的名字是迈尔基·小火花
I'm undercover! Wink, wink.
我是间谍 眨眼 眨眼
Okay, well, see you in hell, Merky.
好吧 地狱见 迈尔基
Wait. Hold on, is that...? Oh!
等等 那个是
Vicodin? Percocet?
维柯丁 扑热息痛
OxyContin?
奥斯康定
Fifi? Fifi, is that you?
飞飞 飞飞 是你吗
I haven't seen you since I was a little girl.
上次见你的时候我还是个小女孩
Yep, that's me, Feces the poodle. Woof woof.
对 就是我 垃圾贵宾犬 汪汪
Anyway, listen,
总之 听着
just gonna help myself to some of these puppy treats.
我就自己拿点这些狗饼干了
Oh, Fifi, I'm gonna make you look so purty.
飞飞 我要让你看起来更纯正
I'm gonna tie these ribbons in your hair.
我要把这些彩带绑在你的毛上
Tie one around my arm, real tight, too, would you?
绑一个在我的手上 紧紧的 行吗
Okay, Gerald, you can do this. Just make sure I don't overreact--
杰拉尔德 你能做到 只要确保没反应过度
Drop the knife or I'll blow your head off, bitch!
把刀放下要不然我爆了你的头 贱♥人♥
stay cool,
冷静
Fitz? just a little white boy cutting up spaghetti.
菲茨 只是一个白人小孩在切意大利面条
Oh, shit! It's Darth Vader with a flamethrower!
我♥操♥ 拿着火焰喷射器的黑武士
Forget this mess, I'm outta here!
把这乱七八糟的事忘了吧 我走了