天堂镇警局（2018）

Paradise PD S01E06

Part 1 Sept. 30, 2020, 10:09 a.m.

Thanks for treating me to the pizza buffet again, Gina.
谢谢你又请我来披萨自助吃饭吉娜
You know, if I didn't know any better,
要是我不明底细的话
I'd think you trying to fatten me up.
还以为你要喂胖我呢
Yeah, like, I'd put your health at risk
是啊好像我会为了让我自己性致盎然
just because it turns me on sexually.
而不顾你的身体健康
Here, let me ladle some ranch on there for you.
来我给你淋点奶
Jabowski!
贾伯夫斯基
Did you have a little run-in with a jaywalker this morning?
你今天早上是不是和乱穿马路的人发生了摩擦
Technically, it was more of a run-over.
严格上来说碾压还差不多
So much blood.
那么多血
Listen, Gina, you're my best cop,
听着吉娜你是我手下最棒的警♥察♥
but you've got to take the crazy down a notch.
但是你得别那么疯疯癫癫的了
Okay, Chief.
好吧局长
I promise to try not to overreact to every little--
我保证不会每次都反应过度...
Did that cunt just put Sprite in a water cup?
那个混♥蛋♥刚刚是在水杯里灌雪碧吗
Hi, Sister. So you like free Sprite, huh?
修女你喜欢免费的雪碧对吗
You want Sprite?
你想要雪碧
Here! Have some Sprite!
来喝雪碧啊
Calm down, Miss.
冷静点小姐
Possum Pizza's a happy place.
负鼠披萨是一个欢乐的地方
You just assaulted an officer.
你袭♥警♥了
I'm breaking up the band!
乐队解散
Ooh! Big winner today! 30,000 tickets.
今天的头奖三万奖券
You can get a spider ring, a scented eraser
你能得到一枚蜘蛛戒指一块香味橡皮擦
or a set of four crayons.
以及一套四色蜡笔
But since you killed my employee, I'm taking the blue one.
但是因为你杀了我的员工我要拿走蓝色的
Jabowski, could you get in here immediately?
贾伯夫斯基你能不能赶紧过来
A crook at the Piggly Wiggly
小猪扭扭有个混♥蛋♥
took two free samples instead of one.
拿了两个样品而不是一个
On it!
来了
Call the coroner and tell him to bring 'em up.
联♥系♥验尸官要他来一趟
What is this?
这是干什么
All right, I lied. This is an intervention.
好吧我撒谎了这是劝诫会
Your rage has gotten goddamn out of control!
你的愤怒已经完全失控了
Are you babies still bitching about Possum Pizza?
你们这些废物还在念叨负鼠披萨的事吗
'Cause all I did was my job!
我只是在尽我的职责
And win you that oversized pencil.
还给你赢了那支超大码铅笔
Yes, it's a great pencil. I love it, but the point is--
这支铅笔很棒我很喜欢但是重点是
But nothing! I'm the only one
没有终点只有我
keeping this town from being overrun with violence.
阻止了这个小镇被暴♥力♥占领
That's why I'm out there every day,
所以我每天都出去巡逻
snapping spines and gouging out eyeballs.
折断脖子挖出眼球
I promise I'll use my turn signal next time, Gina.
我保证我下次会打转向灯的吉娜
Gina, you have to take an anger management class,
吉娜你得去上愤怒控制课程
and you have to do it right now.
现在马上开始
As the officer with the most hours of therapy,
作为上课时间最长的警官
I'm your appointed counselor.
我是你的专属咨♥询♥
Tell me about your childhood.
和我说说你的童年
Just like everybody else,
跟其他人一样
I don't have any memories before the age of 21,
我对我21岁之前没有任何记忆
except for brief flashes in my screaming nightmares.
除了偶尔的闪回和尖叫中醒来的噩梦
According to my expertise, I can diagnose you with BBCD.
根据我的经验我诊断你患有BBCD
Bitch Be Crazy Disease.
疯婊♥子♥病
Shut the fuck up, Fitz, that's not a real thing.
闭嘴菲茨根本没这种病
There's a flare-up.
已经发火了
You guys are telling me you remember your childhoods?
你们难道都记得自己的童年吗
Yeah, right.
说得好听
Next, you'll be telling me not everyone has a brainus.
接下来你还要告诉我不是没有都有脑肛♥门♥
Yeah, you should probably see a doctor.
你可能得去看看医生
So this is my intervention, huh?
这是我的劝诫会吗
Not just you think I'm a "Weirdo"
你们认为我是个怪人
just 'cause I sneak into the break room and fuck the fritters?
就因为我溜进茶水间干水果馅饼吗
Anybody else think these apple fritters
只有我觉得这些苹果馅饼
taste like boiled peanuts and Clorox?
尝起来像熟花生和次氯酸钠吗
Gina, here's your problem.
吉娜你的问题是
You have a bullet in your brain.
你的大脑里有一颗子弹
That's why you have no memories, are so aggressive
所以你没有记忆很有攻击性
and have an unnatural sexual attraction to fat men.
并对胖子有狂热的性癖好
Basically, a textbook case of Bitch Be Crazy Disease.
基本上是典型的疯婊♥子♥病
How the hell can I have a bullet in my brain
我的脑子里怎么会有一颗子弹
and not know about it?
我自己还不知道
Well, maybe you had a terrible doctor.
也许你有个很烂的医生
Oh, your terrible doctor was me.
你的很烂的医生就是我
I don't remember because I also have a bullet in my brain.
我忘记了因为我的脑子里也有一颗子弹
Your chart says you were found washed up on the riverbank
你的病历上称你在十岁的时候被发现
when you were ten years old,
冲到了河边
and then you spent 11 years in a coma.
然后你昏迷了11年
Well, does my file say who shot me?
我的档案上有没有说谁打了我
Nope, just this photo.
没有只有这张照片
"Boom-fook-ay."
字幕
With this clue, I now have one mission in life...
有了这条线索我的人生有了一个目标
to kill the bastard who shot me!
杀死打我的混♥蛋♥
I tried to kill the bastard who shot me,
我也想杀死打我的混♥蛋♥
but the bastard who shot me is me.
但是打我的混♥蛋♥是我
I got really depressed when my obese husband left me.
我的肥胖丈夫离开我后我非常抑郁
Damn you, Bitch Be Crazy Disease.
该死疯婊♥子♥病
Found you, asshole.
找到你了混♥蛋♥
"Bumfuque.
巴姆福柯
An African warlord known
一个因喜欢杀害
for his love of killing ten-year-old girls. Boom!
十岁女孩儿出名的非洲军阀
Hey, Chief! I need a little time off for VD...
队长我需要请假为我的复日
"Vengeance Day!"
"复仇之日"
I gotta take care of a little STD...
我得处理一个小STD[性病]
"Sudanese tyrannical drug lord."
"苏丹专♥制♥毒枭"
One, you're bad at acronyms.
第一你缩写玩得很差
Two, no goddamn way am I letting
二我不可能让我最好的警♥察♥
my best cop hakuna matata off on an African safari.
唱着狮子王跑去非洲了
Fine, then I quit!
好吧那我辞职
No one around here appreciates me anyway.
反正这里没有人理解我
Gina, wait! I didn't mean
吉娜等等我说你
what I said about you being bad at acronyms.
缩写用的很差是开玩笑的
All right, don't freak out.
好吧别慌
We are prepared for this!
我们早有准备
Operation Crazy Cop Down is in full effect.
启动疯狂警♥察♥缺席预案
I'm happy to take Gina's beat.
我很乐于接吉娜的班
I keep those little criminals in line.
我能控制住这些小犯人
I'm just as tough as she--
我跟她一样厉害...
Oh, my shadow!
我的影子
Just for a second, I thought that was a big, fat, black ghost.
有那么一秒我以为那是个又大又肥的黑鬼
Now, Kevin, no one can know we're down a Gina.
凯文不能让别人知道吉娜不在了
Put a blonde wig on this hooker
给这个从醉汉拘留所带来的妓♥女♥带上假发
from the drunk tank and drive her around.
开车载她到处转转
You can count on me, Dad.
交给我吧爸
I'll ride this hooker all around town.
我会载着这个妓♥女♥满城转的
Careful how you ride her, son. She'll give you HIV.
载她的时候小心她会传染给你艾滋病的
Yes! "Help intimidating vandals."
是 "帮助恐吓破坏者"
Good luck, asshats. I just quit.
祝你好运二货我刚刚辞职了
No, no, no. Gina's the only thing
不不不吉娜是唯一
keeping this town from a total purge.
能阻止这座城市被清除的人
I can't handle that shit with my PTSD.
我有创伤后精神压力症我处理不了这些事
You know what? You and I should skip work today. It'll be fun.
你知道吗咱俩今天都应该翘班会很有趣的
We can't both skip work. Chief will kick our asses.
我们不能都翘班警长会收拾我们的
Pussy.
娘炮
Screw you. You know it hurts my feelings when you say that.
去你大爷的你知道你那么说会伤害到我的
Listen, I'm sorry, I had no idea you were such a pussy.
对不起我不知道你这么娘炮
Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy!
娘炮娘炮娘炮娘炮
Pussy!
娘炮
Okay, okay. I'll call Chief first.
好好我先打给队长
You wait an hour to call so he doesn't get suspicious.
你等一个小时再打给他这样他就不会怀疑了
Good plan.
好主意