天堂镇警局（2018）

No, you're not! Kevin!
不 你不能 凯文
You're going to confess to what you did the night of Terry's murder,
马上坦白 特里被杀那晚你做了什么
right now, in front of everyone.
立刻 在所有人面前
Okay, okay, you wanna know what really happened that night?
好吧 你真的想知道那晚发生了什么
Well, I'll tell you.
那我告诉你
I was depressed about sprouting that perfect set of 34Gs.
把34G的大胸漏出来让我心情低落
So I spent the night getting drunk.
所以我那晚去买♥♥醉了
You expect me to believe you hid your whereabouts
你觉得我会相信 你隐藏自己的行踪
because you were embarrassed you got drunk?
就是因为喝多了而尴尬吗
No, I was embarrassed about what happened after I got drunk.
不 喝多了之后的事情让我很难堪
I'm a continental breakfast, boys.
我是一道欧式早餐 男人们
Melons on top, but a sausage below.
上面大如瓜 下面大香肠
Okay.
好吧
Can anyone back that up?
有人能证实吗
Don't act like none of you were there!
别装的像你们都不在似的
I was. That's why I was protecting you, Chief.
我在 所以我才要保护你 警长
I didn't want to see your life ruined.
我不想看到你的生活被毁掉
I'm in love with Summer Sausage.
我爱上夏日大香肠了
Jesus, Hopson,
天呐 霍普森
is that why I caught you hiding my testosterone patches?
因为这个你才把我的睾丸贴片藏起来
I just want to eat one more continental breakfast
我只是想再吃一次欧式早餐
before I die, Summer.
在我死之前 夏天
Stop calling me that! Well, Kevin, way to go.
别再这么叫我了 凯文 冤家路窄
I was going to propose to your mother tonight, but you ruined it,
今晚本来想跟你妈妈求婚的 但是被你毁了
just like I knew you would!
我就知道你会这么做
You were going to propose?
你打算求婚
Yeah, but now that you know about Summer Sausage,
对 但是你现在知道夏日香肠的事情了
you'll probably never speak to me again. I love you.
你大概永远都不会理我了 我爱你
And of course I want to marry you again.
我当然愿意再嫁给你一次
And I'd like to meet this Summer Sausage.
我也想见见这个夏日大香肠
You can't marry her!
你不能娶她
Because you're going to marry me, Summer.
因为你得娶我 夏天
Get the hell out of here, Hopson!
给我滚蛋 霍普森
Oh, wait, that is a big rock.
等等 这钻石真大
Wait a minute. If you're not the argyle meth Kingpin,
等等 如果你不是菱形纹冰♥毒♥的头目
who was on the other end of that phone?
电♥话♥那头是谁
Who's meeting Dusty right now?
现在谁在和达斯廷会面
Who is it?
是谁
Oh, my God, it's you!
我的天 是你
What the fuck are you doing... ?
你在这干什么
Yes, Dusty, it's me, the real Santa.
是的 达斯廷 是我 真正的圣诞老人
I knew it would work!
我就知道肯定管用
All the Christmas spirit got you here to Paradise.
圣诞气氛让你来到了天堂镇
That's right. It was the Christmas spirit that...
的确 就是圣诞气氛
Oh, fuck.
我♥操♥
Santa? You mixed up in argyle meth?
圣诞老人 你参与了菱形纹冰♥毒♥的事
Ho, ho, ho! Dusty, it's red and green meth.
达斯廷 那只不过是红的和绿的冰♥毒♥
I can't believe it took you incompetent pig so long to figure it out.
你这个蠢猪花了这么久才发现
But Santa, it can't be! You're good!
圣诞老人 不能这样 你是好人
You stand for the spirit of giving!
你代表着给予的精神
Give, give, give.
给予 给予 给予
But when does Santa get his fucking piece, huh? No!
圣诞老人什么时候能拿到自己那份 不能
I believed in you.
我那么信任你
Even though the other kids made fun of me,
即使别的孩子嘲笑我
I never stopped believing.
我从来没有停止过相信你
I know, Dusty, and I'm sorry that I've let you down.
我知道 达斯廷 对不起让你失望了
You know what I think will make up for it? Your train.
也许这个能够弥补 你的火车
My Chuggy Chuggy Choo Choo?
咔嚓咔嚓小火车
Your train to hell! All aboard!
通往地狱的列车 都上车吧
**Jolly Old Saint Nicholas Lives at the North Pole*
*快乐的圣诞老人住在北极圈
**He is such a sweet old man He'd never harm a soul...*
*他是如此和善的老人 从不伤害任何人
Made in China piece of shit!
中国制♥造♥的垃圾
Ooh! Candy cane!
拐杖糖
Looks like I'll have to do this with peace and joy.
看来我要用爱与和平来解决问题了
Enjoy your last meal, you fat fuck.
享受你的最后一餐吧 死肥猪
**His heart is sweet as candy His beard is white as wool*
*他心肠甜似糖果 胡须洁白似羊毛
**He'd never pick up a yule log And crush a fat guy's skull...*
*他永远不会拿起大木头打碎胖子的头骨
Huh! I guess this was for Dusty's big finish.
是时候展示达斯廷的盛大结局了
Wherever he is, I'm gonna get that kiss.
不管他在哪 我都要得到这一吻
**Hallelujah!*
*哈利路亚
**Hallelujah!*
*哈利路亚
**Hallelujah! Hallelujah!*
*哈利路亚 哈利路亚
**Hallelujah!*
*哈利路亚
**Hallelujah! Hall--*
*哈利路亚 哈
Die, Santa, die! Die, you son of a cunt!
去死吧圣诞老人 去死吧去死吧 狗♥娘♥养♥的
Fucking shitburger, bitch...
该死的人♥渣♥ 贱♥货♥
And I'm keeping the goddamn Choo Choo!
我就要留着这个该死的火车
Dusty! Are you okay? We got here as soon as we could.
达斯廷 你还好吗 我们以最快的速度赶来的
Wait a minute, who's giant bag of argyle meth is that, Dusty?
等一会 这一大袋菱形纹冰♥毒♥是谁的 达斯廷
Santy Claus's?
圣诞老人的
I didn't do it! I tell you, it was Santy Claus!
不是我♥干♥的 跟你说过了 是圣诞老人
Santy Claus did it, that twat-sucking piece of shit!
圣诞老人干的 那个狗♥娘♥养♥的
Wow, you were right all along, son.
你一直都是对的 儿子
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
对不起我没有相信你
You are the best damn cop the city of Paradise has ever seen.
你是天堂镇有史以来最棒的警♥察♥
I never thought it was Dusty.
从没想过会是达斯廷
I thought I saw a footage at Gina's place
我以为在吉娜那里看到的视频
that cleared him of Terry's murder.
洗清了他谋杀特里的嫌疑
Hey, he tricked you. Threw you off the trail.
他骗了你 让你想错了思路
But don't feel bad.
但是别太难过
He tricked all of us.
他把我们都骗了
We all thought he was just a clueless man-child.
我们都以为他是个傻不拉几的孩子
Ho, ho! But you caught him red-handed.
但是你把他绳之于法了
No! Dusty, I know you're innocent.
不 达斯廷 我知道你是无辜的
You can't take him from me! Let him go!
你们不能把他带走 放了他
He owes me a kiss under the mistletoe.
他还欠我槲寄生下一吻
Please, you gotta get him out. You'll need a trial lawyer.
拜托放他出来 你需要一名辩护律师
I only handle minor cunnilingus disputes.
我只能处理小的性骚扰事件
Sorry, got to take this. It's Michael Douglas again.
抱歉 接个电♥话♥ 又是迈克尔·道格拉斯
Wait a minute. Am I in a women's prison?
等一会 我在女子监狱里面
Of course you are. You're a woman. We checked... twice.
当然了 你是个女人 我们检查过了 两次
I have a buried penis.
我有人工阴♥茎♥
I even have a doctor's note 'cause these mix-ups happen all the time.
我还有医生的便签 因为这种弄混了的事情常有
Shut up and get in your cell, lady.
闭嘴赶紧进牢房♥吧 女士
Hey!
喂
I hear you're the one who killed my son.
我听说你就是那个杀了我儿子的人
You about to be one dead woman.
你马上就要成为一个死女人了
Oh, my God. Bunk beds!
我的天 上下铺
I'm sorry, what did you say?
不好意思 你刚才说啥
Well, Fitz, I guess I got everything I wanted.
菲茨 我应该得到我想要的全部了
My parents are getting remarried. I'm a hero in my dad's eyes.
我的父母复婚了 我也成了我爸眼里的英雄
He's even giving me a medal.
他甚至给我发了奖牌
But it all feels empty
但是感觉好空虚
because I don't know if you'll ever come out of this.
因为我不知道你能不能好起来
Yeah, it's me.
是我
It worked better than I could have imagined.
比我想象的效果还好
They think that fat cop is the Kingpin.
他们觉得那个胖警♥察♥就是头目
And he took out Kringle for me.
他也替我被抓了
Don't get me wrong.
别理解错了
Saint Nick was good for handling distribution
圣诞老人非常擅长分销
so I could keep my cover,
所以我能继续隐藏下去
but I was sick of sharing my profits with that bowl full of jelly.
但是我受不了用装满果冻的碗来分利润了
And now, Paradise is all mine. Me, the Kingpin.
现在天堂镇都是我的了 我 就是头目
Here's our new drug, boss. Argyle meth.
这是我们的新♥型♥毒♥品♥ 菱形纹冰♥毒♥
Red and green? Don't you think that's a dead giveaway?
红色和绿色 你不觉得会没人要吗
Why don't you put chocolate in that shit, too?
你怎么不在这里面也加点巧克力呢
Ho, ho, ho, good idea, boss.
好主意啊 头儿
I just don't understand.
我只是不懂
It was supposed to be a plastic steak.
不应该是一块塑料牛排吗
I set you motherfuckers up.
我陷害的你们这群混♥蛋♥