天堂镇警局（2018）

I thought you said he was a doctor. Dentists are doctors.
我以为你说他是医生 牙医也是医生
Yeah, and birds are books. What a loser.
是啊 兽医还是医生呢 真是个垃圾
Karen, Where'd you dig up this four-eyed, fluoride-pushing fuck nut?
凯伦 你从哪找的这四眼玩氟化物的傻呆瓜
This fuck nut trumps you in every possible way.
这傻呆瓜哪方面都比你强
From bank account to ball count.
从银行存款的数量到蛋蛋数量
If you'll excuse us.
失陪了
Nice to meet you, Dr. Dickhole!
很高兴见到你 鸡洞医生
Okay, police time. Where's my gun?
好了 警♥察♥时间 我的枪呢
How about something with some real stopping power?
拿有真正制止力的东西怎么样
Oh, yeah.
好啊
A stop sign?
停止标志
Very observant, Kevin. You're our new crossing guard.
观察力很敏锐 凯文 你是我们的新协♥警♥
You think I give out guns to just anybody?
你以为我会给所有人都配枪吗
Watch it!
小心
911, what's your emergency?
911 有什么可以帮你的
Ten-four.
收到
We got a suspicious package downtown.
市区有个可疑的包裹
Let's roll.
行动
Where's the bombdefusing robot? Too expensive.
拆弹机器人呢 太贵了
We just go under a bridge,
我们就到桥下
deputize a hobo, and send him in there.
派个流浪汉当代表 让他过来
Reporting for duty. Yes, sir.
前来报到 好的 长官
Nice! Going great so far!
很好 目前为止很好
Now open it up!
现在打开
Cue the Gallagher tarp.
防护措施
It was just a bag of meth. That's not just meth.
就是一包冰♥毒♥ 那不仅仅是冰♥毒♥
It appears to be some kind of argyle meth.
是某种菱形纹冰♥毒♥
This new drug is likely as dangerous as it is festive.
这种新冰♥毒♥的危险程度和它的喜庆程度一样
Probably the work of a criminal mastermind
也许是一个喜欢17世纪苏格兰高地人打扮的
who's also fond of patterns
犯罪首脑
worn by Scottish Highlanders since the 17th century.
精心制♥作♥的杰作
I memorized all of Wikipedia instead of having friends.
我用交朋友的时间背下了所有的维♥基♥百♥科♥
Oh my God, that is so hot.
天啊 太性感了
I want to die under you.
我想死在你身下
Listen up. I want the entire Paradise PD
听着 我要求整个天堂镇警局
to focus on catching the person
全力抓捕这个
behind this argyle meth.
菱形纹冰♥毒♥背后的人
If anyone's busting this guy, it's gonna be me.
如果有人能逮捕这个家伙的话 那肯定是我
I've got a page reserved for my 100th arrest.
我专门给我第100个逮捕的人留了一页
So what we gonna do with this hobo?
那我们拿这流浪汉怎么办
Hell if I know. They usually get blown up.
我怎么知道 他们一般来说都被炸飞了
But since you asked, meet your new partner, Hobo Cop.
但既然你问了 见见你的新搭档 流浪警♥察♥
He smells like skunk pussy but I've got to admit,
他闻起来就像臭逼 但我承认
Hobo Cop is a bad-ass name.
流浪警♥察♥是个很酷的名字
Bullet, store this evidence.
子弹 把证物保存好
Uh, you put a dog in charge of drug evidence?
你让一只狗管毒品证物
Hey, in my book, Bullet is the most trustworthy cop on the force.
在我这里 子弹是我在警局最信任的警♥察♥
Drugga-drugga-drugga-drugga. Drugs, drugs!
毒品 毒品 毒品 毒品 毒品 毒品
Look out, drug train coming through. Who wants some drugs?
注意 毒品货车过来了 谁想吸点
Bullet! This party's awesome!
子弹 这派对爽爆了
Oh, yeah, bro? Well, it is about to get double-awesome.
对吧 兄弟 马上就要双倍爽爆了
A new drug?
新毒品
And it's called argyle meth.
叫菱形纹毒品
I'm color-blind and it still looks incredible.
我是色盲 但依旧看起来很棒
Hey, one at a time, all right. There's enough for everybody!
一个一个来 好了 每个人都有
Except me, apparently.
显然 除了我没有
Well, at least somebody's gonna have a good time tonight.
至少今晚有人要爽翻天了
Oh, shit.
该死
Bullet, you okay? I was up all night cleaning.
子弹 你没事吧 我整晚都在做打扫
I just couldn't stand
我只是受不了
everything covered with circumstantial evidence.
每件东西都被间接证据覆盖着
Dust! I mean dust. It was covered with dust.
灰尘 我是说灰尘 都被灰尘覆盖了
Oh, God, there was dust everywhere. Thanks, Bullet. Good dog.
天 到处都是灰尘 谢了 子弹 好狗
Plus, I found this sticker on the back of the argyle meth bag.
还有 我在菱形纹毒品包后面找到这个贴纸
Well, if we knew what kind of chocolate it was,
如果我们知道是哪种巧克力
maybe we could trace it to--
也许我们能追查...
Do I smell Choconators? Choconators!
我闻到巧克力者的味道了吗 巧克力者
Dad, there's only one place in town that sells those:
爸 镇上只有一个地方卖♥♥那些
the video store.
音像店
Should I go investigate?
我该去调查下吗
You're a crossing guard. Stay out of it.
你只是个协♥警♥ 别掺和
Chief, you better look at this.
局长 你最好看看这个
Oh, boy. Bullet, I don't know how to tell you this
天哪 子弹 我不知道该怎么告诉你
but apparently every dog in town had some kind of suicide pact.
很显然镇上所有狗仿佛都约好一起自杀了
They were all found dead in their dog houses
它们都死在了自己的狗窝里
with almost identical suicide notes in similar handwriting.
留下了爪迹差不多的相同遗书
Oh, man. No way.
天哪 不是吧
Oh, if only I'd been there for them
如果我能在那帮它们
instead of that alibi thing I was doing.
而不是在这里录口供
Okay, Kevin, focus.
凯文 集中点
Just get them to sell you some argyle meth.
只是让他们卖♥♥些菱形纹冰♥毒♥给你
Dad won't mind that you borrowed a gun
当你把这案子结了
when you bust this case wide open.
爸不会介意你借了把枪的
I heard a rumor that you guys
有只小鸟告诉我
move some "Special products" Here.
你们这有些"好货"
Oh, yeah? Check this out.
是吗 看看这个
I know you're a cop. What?
我知道你是个警♥察♥ 什么
This movie, I Know You're a Cop.
这本电影 《我知道你是个警♥察♥》
You should check it out. It's awesome.
你该看看 超棒
It's got Frank Stallone and a monkey in it.
里面有弗兰克·史泰龙和一只猴子
That monkey got a Golden Globe for that and
那只猴子得了金球奖
Frank Stallone got snubbed.
弗兰克·史泰龙成炮灰了
Oh, okay.
好吧
But seriously, I am here for, um--
但说真的 我是来
You should watch it. I know why you're here,
你该看看 我知道你来干什么
I'm going to kill you right in this video store.
我要在这音像店里把你杀了
I mean, it's got a long title but you should definitely watch it.
虽然题目有点长 但值得一看
It's an animated kids movie
这是本儿童动画电影
about a bipolar goat who manages a Blockbuster.
关于一只狂躁症山羊名噪一时的电影
Listen, I need something from you.
听着 我要向你们买♥♥点东西
How about this? Come in the back, kiss me on the lips,
不如这样 你到后面来吻我
and smack my ass like the pig I am.
然后狠狠打我屁♥股♥
Oh, where... where is that movie?
这电影在哪儿
Oh, that's not a movie, that's an offer.
这可不是电影 这是个邀请
Oh, I'm just kidding, that is a movie. Starring Kathy Bates.
开玩笑啦 这是个电影 凯西·贝茨主演
Look, I know you you guys are making argyle meth out of here.
听着 我知道你们在这里造菱形纹冰♥毒♥
I want to buy some.
我想买♥♥点
Shots fired! Shots fired!
开枪啦 开枪啦
What the hell are you doing?!
你在干什么
He must really hate microwave popcorn, Robbie.
罗比 他肯定超不喜欢微波炉爆米花
I know you guys sell argyle meth!
我知道你们在贩卖♥♥冰♥毒♥
The only thing we sell is VHS videotapes
我们只卖♥♥家庭式录影碟
that are oddly specific to many conversations.
在许多对话中这显得太具体了
And microwave popcorn.
还有微波炉爆米花
Don't be bringing up microwave popcorn!
别说微波炉爆米花了
You gon' set him off again.
他一会又要暴走了
Kevin, this is exactly why I didn't want you on my police force.
凯文 所以我不愿让你来我警队上班
Do you know how much damage you did to that video store?
你知不知道自己给音像店造成了多大损失
Nine dollars? Eleven.
九美元吗 十一
Honestly, I thought you'd be angrier
老实说 我以为你会更生气
since I stole a gun and used all our bullets.
因为我偷了枪还用完了子弹
You did what?!
什么
Wh-What are you doing?
你在干什么
You know you aren't supposed to wear more than one of those at a time.
你知道一次不能贴多过一块的
Let's not get crazy here, Dad.
别太激动 爸
You're kind of starting to turn red.
你有点变红了
Not the other arm!
别另一只手也贴啊
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
我的天哪 天哪 天哪
Uh, Chief, you know that's your car, right?
局长 你知道那是你的车 对吧
Hey, guys. I wanted to come by
老兄们 我只想过来