错乱人生（2020）

because it might one day have two lives to save
它要救助两个生命
when there's no food around.
所以我确实很肥
So I AM fat.
不 你没仔细听
Oh, no, you're not listening.
我开玩笑的
I'm joking.
来吧 我要去那边
Come on. I want to go this way.
起
Up.
好了
OK.
振作点
Get your stuff together.
我要去跟妈对质
I am going to confront Mum.
你妈妈
Your mum.
母亲
Mother.
如果你想要我可以让给你
You can have her if you want.
我的芹菜呢
Where's my celery?
这...
It's...
我家里晚饭要吃的就这些
It's all I've got in the house for dinner.
不
No!
你可不能从一个素食者那偷蔬菜
You mustn't steal vegetables from a vegan.
你听不到我们说什么 因为我们离得很远
Now, you can't hear what we're saying, cos we're quite far away,
但史酷比正在唠叨
but Scoopy is currently going on
人们不该被逼着改变他们的体形
about how people shouldn't be made to change their body shape,
这很讽刺
which is ironic,
因为她就是整形外科医生
because she's a cosmetic surgeon,
但我从没对她那张肉毒杆菌脸说过
but I'd never say that to her Botoxed face.
你丈夫 丹尼斯 已经失踪近一周了
Your husband, Dennis, hasn't been seen for nearly a week.
解释得很好
Great exposition.
谢谢
Thank you.
无可奉告
No comment.
我没问你问题
I didn't ask you a question.
那你问吧
Well, ask me one, then.
你对丹尼斯做了什么
What have you done to Dennis?
没什么 无可奉告
Nothing. No comment.
他母亲很担心
His mother is very worried.
我也很担心
Yeah, I'm worried, too.
无可奉告
No comment.
我们在你车后备箱里发现一卷地毯
We found a rolled-up carpet in the trunk of your car
上面布满了丹尼斯的DNA
covered in Dennis's DNA.
是吗
Yeah?
这你怎么解释
Well, how do you explain that?
那是丹尼斯最喜欢在上面做♥爱♥的地毯
That was the carpet Dennis most liked to make love on.
你用的是过去式 霍顿女士
You're using the past tense, Mrs Holden.
告诉我真♥相♥
Tell me the truth.
丹尼斯死了吗
Is Dennis dead?
地毯才是完了
Carpet's dead.
你到底为什么把地毯收着
Exactly why did you take the carpet up?
天啊 因为你自己说了
Oh, God. Because, and you've said this yourself,
丹尼斯射得上面到处都是他的DNA
Dennis ejaculated his DNA all over it.
毁了
It's ruined.
天啊 你疯了
God, man. You're out of your mind.
嗨
Hello.
她的运动包里有一张十字弓的收据
There's a crossbow receipt in her sports bag,
我也不喜欢她看你的眼神
and I don't like the way she's looking at you.
我见过一次那个眼神 就在我失去这只眼睛之前
I saw that look once before. Just before I lost this eye.
你对强权女性有意见
You've got a problem with women in positions of authority.
也许是 但如果我们不阻止她
That's as maybe, but if we don't stop her...
又有人要上天堂了
There'll be another bloke in heaven.
一个尚能被拯救的鬼魂
Another ghost who could be alive.
这太欺负人了
This is so emasculating!
别当着伊德瑞斯·艾尔巴的面
Not in front of Idris Elba!
混♥蛋♥
Scumbag!
-你好 -你好 漂亮女人
- Hello. - Hello, beautiful woman.
工作怎么样
How was work?
闭嘴 谁在乎啊
Shut up. Who cares?
选购婚纱怎么样
How was the dress shopping?
有选择吗
Are there options?
你拍照了吗
Did you take pictures?
拍的是各种款式的选择吗
Are there pictures of the options?
嗯 棒极了
Yeah, it was amazing.
感觉像个公主
Felt like a princess
那就好
That's good.
你在做什么
What you doing?
你的脸看上去很悲伤
Your face looks sad.
我没事 只是
I'm fine. I just...
还有鼻涕 亲爱的
And there's snot, babe.
糟透了
It was horrible.
我给你做件裙子
I'll make you a dress.
我学怎么做针线活
I'll learn to knit.
自从青春期之后 我还没感觉这么糟过
I haven't felt this bad about myself since puberty.
但 妈有个主意
But, erm, Mum's had an idea.
我觉得我们得谈谈
I think we need to have a word.
怎么回事
What's this?
我试过阻止他
I tried to stop him.
只不过是我的抹布
They're just...my duster.
天啊
God.
我的未婚妻是我生命中最重要的人
My fiance's the most important person in my life,
而你是她生命中最重要的人
and you are the most important person in her life,
这意味着 卡罗尔 你对我很重要
which means, Carol, you're very important to me.
你冲过来就是告诉我这个
And you came storming over just to tell me that?
你为什么告诉露西需要做丰胸手术
Why did you tell Lucy she needed to get a boob job?
我没有
I didn't.
她说你有
She says you did!
我没有
Well, I didn't.
露西
Lucy?
不 你误会了
No, you misunderstood.
你告诉我
You told me that...
她只是愿意出钱
She just offered to pay.
一个道理
Same thing!
不 并不是
No, it isn't.
她不需要做一点改变
She does not need to change one thing about herself.
我只是希望我女儿能快乐
I just want my daughter to be happy,
你最好记住这一点
and you'd better remember that
然后再来我家对我颐指气使
before you come barging into my house, bossing me about.
有些事你不明白
There are things you don't understand.
露西自从14岁开始
Lucy has been asking for a breast enlargement
就想要做隆胸手术
since she was 14 years old.
不 上楼去 丹尼斯
No! Get back upstairs, Dennis!
待在那
Stay there.
我觉得我们得谈谈
I think we need to have a word.
进来
Come on in.
我开一瓶威士忌
I'll open some whisky.
母老虎和妻管严
Thumb and Under-the-Thumber
正在厨房♥吵着要取消婚礼呢
are in the kitchen calling off the wedding.
为什么我不知道这事这么重要
Why didn't I know this was such a big deal?
你知道
You do know.
我们做♥爱♥的时候我都没脱胸罩
I don't take my top off when we...
你知道
..You know.
嗯 但等等
Yeah, but. Hold up.
我只是以为你感觉不安
I just thought you were insecure.
我是不安
I AM insecure.
婚礼取消了吗
Is the wedding off?
-没 -我在开玩笑
- No. - I was joking.
谁想要点啥
Who wants what?
我想要道歉
I want an apology.
不 我是说吃的喝的
No, I meant more like drinks and nibbles.
斯特凡
Stef?
你今天用那本书把我惹生气了
You upset me with that book today.
不是吧你
You didn't?
如果对你不适用 就捐给慈善商店
Well, if it's not for you, just give it to the charity shop.
平胸妹
Chubby Bubby?
对
Yes.
用不着在我的厨房♥里早产