错乱人生（2020）

当克雷格对我不好时
And when Craig didn't treat me well,
当他下午两点
when he dumped me
在婚纱店甩了我时
in a wedding dress shop at two in the afternoon,
那仅是求婚十天后
ten days after proposing...
我就会到现场 说我很失望
I'd have gone round there and said I was very disappointed.
打他一顿
Beaten him up.
我是爱人 不是斗士
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
但你会照顾我
But you look after me.
当然
Of course.
对了
Oh, yeah,
他是美国人的原因
the reason he's American.
不同父母
Different parents.
-他真性感 -太性感了
- He's sexy. - So sexy.
而且他不能跟我分开 我们严格上说算是亲戚
And he can't break up with me because we're technically related.
闭嘴吧
Oh, shut up.
闭嘴
Shut up.
我是想说 我们都幻想着爱上一个
My point is, we all fantasise about loving someone
不会离开我们的人 一个值得信任的人
who won't leave us, someone that it's safe to trust.
你称它为婚姻
You call it marriage.
我称它为...
I call it...
乱♥伦♥
Incest.
够了
Right, that's it.
我们都在对自己撒谎
We are all lying to ourselves.
这不是真实的人的行为
This is not how an actual person behaves.
又强壮又体贴又完美
All strong and thoughtful and perfect.
对
Yeah, no,
莎拉是对的
Sara's right.
我不是真的
I'm not real.
我让他说的 因为我是编剧
I made him say that, because I'm the writer.
我写的台词 所以他必须得说
I wrote it down, and then he has to say it.
你是这世界上最聪明的女孩
You're the cleverest girl in all the world.
谢谢我自己 给你写下这句台词告诉我
Thank you, myself, for writing that down for you to tell me.
我也不是真的
I'm not real, either.
只是个很棒的演员
Just a really good actor.
当莎拉选定我说我们长得像姐妹时 我感到被侮辱了
I was insulted when Sara cast me saying we look like sisters.
别担心那会伤害我的感情
Don't worry about that hurting my feelings.
那句也是我写的
I wrote that as well.
你是来阻止我的吗
Have you come to stop me?
我正在毁坏我们创造的诡计吗
Am I destroying the artifice that we've created?
不 仍然是虚构的
No, it's still fictional.
我用电脑给你写的入场
I wrote your entrance on a computer.
你被第二副导演选中的
You were cast by a second AD
依照的是经纪公♥司♥寄来的照片
based on a photograph from an agency.
可爱的李
The lovely Lee.
我拿到了你的三围 然后给你找了一身无聊的行头
I got sent your measurements and then got you some dweeby clothes
这样你看上去就像剧组人员了
so that you'd look like crew.
你想说点什么吗
Would you like to say something?
不 你不能回答
No, you can't reply.
那样你就成有台词的角色了 我得多付你三百
I would have to pay you an extra ￡300 as a speaking role.
而我们已经因为某人超支了 也就是我
And we're already over budget because somebody - me -
写了一集所有角色都在大帐篷里的戏
scripted an all-cast episode in a marquee.
你照我说的做 因为我控制一切
You do as I tell you, because I'm in control.
我比伴郎还厉害
I'm better than a best man.
我是神
I'm God.
抱歉 看上去太傲慢了吗
Sorry. Did that seem arrogant?
我能跟你谈谈吗
Can I talk to you?
你为什么不照我写的台词说
Why aren't you saying my lines?
别再学我了
Stop doing this.
这部分你应该向我道歉
This is the bit where you apologise to me.
我应该得到一个道歉
I deserve an apology.
到了揭晓真♥相♥的时候了 你觉得呢
Time for the real truth, don't you think?
所以我们没在婚礼吗
So, we're not at a wedding?
没有什么所谓的真♥相♥
There is no one truth.
那才是你觉得无法忍♥受的
That's what you're finding unbearable.
你之所以挣扎 是因为你想让自己是对的
This struggle is because you want to be right.
不
No.
是的
Yes.
是因为你撒谎
It's because you lie.
那让我心神不宁
It's made me obsessed.
什么才是真的
What's true?!
什么才是真的
What's true?!
我能相信什么
What can I believe?
你永远无法知道其他人在想什么
You can't ever know what another person is thinking.
这我知道
Yeah, I know that.
你不能感受他们的感受
You can't feel their feelings.
对
Yes.
你能真正了解他们吗
Can you truly know them?
这不公平
It's not fair.
你塑造的我 可你还是不理解我
You wrote me, and still you don't understand me.
是的
Yes.
你知道原因吗
Do you know why?
你是真实的人
You're a real person.
你创造了自己 这个世界 还有虚构的家庭
You created yourself, this world, and a fake family,
希望到这个时候 你能理解你父亲
hoped, by this point, your dad would make sense.
是的
Yes.
你希望着 如果你把它写进故事结尾 画上句号♥
You hoped, if you put it in a story, with an ending...
那会让你不再悲伤
..It would stop making you sad.
我以为我能想出个句子 比如
I thought I could come up with a sentence, like,
"人们都是好人 但同时也是坏人"
"People are good and bad all at the same time,"
或者 "人们可以离开你 但仍然爱你"
or, "People can leave you and still love you."
或者 "成年就是一座监狱 给没有死去的孩子"
Or, "Adulthood is a prison for children that didn't die."
我以为
And I thought...
这会让一切都恢复正常
..It would make everything OK.
谎言和故事很类似
Lies and stories are very similar.
如果你想要我的建议
If you want my advice...
你应该在这部分加上几个玩笑
You should've put some jokes in this bit.
我讨厌圆♥满♥结局的一点是我渴望一个圆♥满♥结局
What I hate about happy endings is how much I want one.
如果幸福不能长久 又有什么意义
What's the point of happiness if it doesn't last?
别犯傻了
Stupid thing to say.
我们当然有未来 每个人都有
Of course we have a future. Everyone has.
但你彻底拒绝讨论我们的未来
But your complete refusal to discuss ours
让我觉得我们没有
makes me think that we don't.
你是想在婚礼上跟我分手吗
Are you breaking up with me at a wedding?
总算有点精彩的抓马了
Finally, some delicious drama.
就这样 在婚礼分手吧
Yeah, break up a wedding.
把我朋友还给我
Give me my friend back!
别逼我了
Stop pushing me.
再过一个月 我们就有个儿子了
In a month's time, we are going to have a son.
是的 我们可以等这一个月过了再谈
Yes. And we can talk about that in a month's time.
但你都自己憋着
But you're keeping it all to yourself.
宝宝的事 你的事
All of the baby, all of you.
我好孤独
I'm so lonely.
很好 孤独吧
Good! Be lonely.
孤独是真实的
Loneliness is real.
棒 更多抓马
Yes! More drama.
事情的收尾真的很有趣 不是吗
Oh, it's funny how things end up, isn't it?
真的是
It really is.
我们玩得很开心
It's been fun.
放手 我不跳康茄舞
Let go, eh? I'm not a conga.
路易斯
Lewis?
你要去哪
Where are you going?
糟了
Oh, shit.
他来了
He's here!
你看到我继父了吗
Have you seen my stepfather?
路易斯
Lewis!
我没杀人 但他们不会相信我的
I've killed no-one. But they'll never believe me.
你是伯妮的儿子
You're Bernie's son.
对
Yeah.
好耶
Yippee!
他是我弟弟 但我们没有血缘关系
He's my brother, but we're not related.