错乱人生（2020）

那就听我的建议吧 是时候把双腿打开了
Took my advice, then. Time to get your leg over, no mistake.
你可真帅
Oh, you're bloody handsome!
你们在这做什么 走开
What are you doing here? Go away!
我们总不能一直在床上啊 对吗
Well, we had to get out of bed sometime, didn't we?
你妈和你♥爸♥过来盯着我
Your mum and dad come to keep an eye on me?
-走开 -拜托 她真是...
- Go away! - Come on. She's such a...
他不是我爸
He's not my dad.
他看上去还行
He... He seems nice.
一定很棒吧 知道她找到了照顾自己的人
It must be nice, knowing she's got someone to take care of her.
我一直希望我妈能找到个伴 在...
I always hoped my mum would find someone else after...
-在我爸去世之后 -一点都不好
- ..after dad died. - It's not nice.
这毁了一切 家里有只胖布谷鸟[疯子]It ruins everything, having a big fat cuckoo in your family
想把你从巢里推出去
trying to push you out of the nest
这样他就能把你妈据为己有了
so he can have your mum all to himself.
给你 亲爱的 这是你的酒
Here you are, darling. There's your bottle.
怎么了
Yes?
-我是个直觉很准的人 好吗 -好吧
- I'm a very intuitive person, OK? - OK.
你很不成熟
You're quite immature.
-不 -你还依赖着你妈妈
- No! - You depend on your mum still.
我不依赖她 我是关照她
I don't depend on her, I look out for her.
-那是男人的工作 -好吧 老顽固
- That's a man's job. - All right, the '50s.
那你♥爸♥呢
Well, where is your dad?
不在了
He's gone.
我们有共同点了
We've got that in common.
他没死 他住在美国
He's not dead. He lives in America.
他也碰巧从事金融业吗
Is he in finance, by any chance?
-不 -我这么问只是因为我听说女孩喜欢
- No. - I only ask because I heard that girls fancy guys
跟父亲相像的男生
that are like their dad.
我不喜欢
Well, I don't.
你在寻找什么
Well, what are you looking for?
没什么
Nothing.
那就像你♥爸♥一样了
That is like your dad, then.
缺席
Absent.
如果你的家长有一个飞走了
If one of your parents flies away,
说无所谓是不可能的
it's impossible for that not to matter.
我们祖先的需要意味着我们会对他们的离去感到紧张
Our ancestors' needs mean we are wired to mourn their absence.
但我们不是蛋
But we aren't eggs,
我们有这种感觉只是因为我们习惯了
we just feel these effects because we used to be.
不不 这两件事没有关系
No, no, they're not connected.
总之 分♥析♥和对话很精彩
Anyway, great analysis and conversation.
你很高 你的皮肤很好
And you're tall, you've got lovely skin,
我妈说你长得很帅 好些了吗
and my mum said you're handsome, so all better?
我们走
Let's go.
-我的卡 -你们想...
- Oh, my card. - Hey! Would you like...?
你们想借几个套套吗
Want to borrow some johnnies?
如果你连点消遣都受不了 懂我意思吗
If you can't take a bit of sport, do you know what I mean?
酒吧 我从来不知道她去酒吧
The pub? I've never known her to go to a pub.
我们到底对母亲有多了解
How well do we even know our mother?
反正她跟脸书都比我分享得多
She shares more with Facebook than with me.
脸书没那么爱评判
Facebook is less judgmental.
你不知道你在说什么 玛丽
You don't know what you're talking about, Marie.
他们在窃取我们的数据
They're stealing our data.
-也许他们是认真的 -绝对是
- Maybe it is serious. - It definitely is!
马克·扎克伯克很精明
Mark Zuckerberg knows stuff.
他知道我在分院帽小测试中选了赫奇帕奇
He knows that I got Hufflepuff in the Sorting Hat quiz.
什么
What?
你说妈啊
Oh, Mum.
对 我们得尽快摆脱西蒙
Yeah. Yeah, we need to get rid of Simon as quickly as possible.
她别想带他来婚礼
She is not bringing him to the wedding.
没门 我恨他
No way. I hate him.
他在我才不要去呢
I am not going round when he's there.
对 我们来抵♥制♥他
Yes, we'll do a boycott.
-我能恨斯特凡吗 -不行 那不一样
- Can I hate Stefan? - No! That's different.
这话是从哪冒出来的
Where's all this suddenly come from?
我犯了夜惊
I had night terrors.
自己在一个蛋壳里
I was inside a shell.
我妈一直往我身上坐 我喘不上气
My mum kept sitting on me and I couldn't breathe
我想让她下去 我就喊啊
and I wanted her to get off and I kept shouting and saying,
"走开" 走开
"Go away!" Go away!
她就是不走
And she wouldn't leave.
我才意识到 她走不了
I've just realised... ..she couldn't.
看看你这个鬼样子
Look at the state of you.
小心 西蒙 她一身酒臭味
Watch out, Simon. She stinks of booze.
你好 西蒙
Hello, Simon.
来给我们分享淫秽细节了吗
Come to give us all the sordid details?
你们昨晚开心吗
Did you two have a good night?
棒极了
Smashing.
大家伙 你还要再见他吗
Big fella. You seeing him again?
-可能不会 -莎拉从来不会约第二次
- Probably not. - Sara never sees them again.
不 你说得对 不 我们最好
No, yeah. No, we're probably better off as people
老死不相往来了
who never see each other again.
我在梦里叫他大乌鸦
I called him a big raven in my sleep
还试图抵抗他呼扇着的翅膀
and tried to fight off his beating wings.
西蒙 对不起
Hey, Simon, sorry.
重逢场面太糟了 我当时很粗鲁
Terrible reunion. I was very rude.
我从没想过我妈需要什么 只想着我需要她给我什么
I never think about what my mum needs, only what I need from her.
想吃早餐吗
Want any breakfast?
我会吐的 妈 不过谢了
I'll puke, Mum, but thanks.
你很幸运 莎拉
You're very lucky, Sara.
你妈妈性感极了
Your mum is a very sexy lady.
这就是脓的颜色十分重要的原因
This is why the colour of the pus is so important.
有些脓是完全健康的 只是会吓到别人
Some pus is perfectly healthy - it just gets bad PR.
她都没注意到
She didn't even notice.
不 你...
No, you had...?
你说要找到对的人 完全是正确的
You were absolutely correct about finding the right person.
我只需要找到有恋父情结的女人
I just need to find women with daddy issues,
提醒她们是多么不被人接受 然后就成了
remind them how rejected they've been, and bam!
天啊
Oh, my.
回见
See ya.
不 不可能
No, can't be.
你为什么在脸书屏蔽我
Why did you block me on Facebook?
-你在我看《东区人》的时候打给我 -妈
- You rang me during EastEnders. - Mum.
-有什么关系 -反正你也从不喜欢我传的东西
- What does it matter? - You never liked anything I put up anyway.
-你这么知道我不... -你从不点赞
- How did you know I didn't...? - You never liked anything.
我要多付出一点努力了
I'm going to make more of an effort.
我真的在长大 你发现了吗
I'm really growing up, have you noticed?
这意味着你要再约他出来吗
Does that mean you're going on a second date?
我想不会
I don't think so.
不过他确实给我发了一张♥林♥地动物的可爱照片
But he did send me a cute photo of a woodland creature,
这还不错
so that's nice.
所以你又重振旗鼓了
So it's got you back on the horse.
重振旗鼓感觉真好[回到马上]It's great to be back on the horse.
那匹马就是西蒙
The horse being Simon.
我很抱歉你一直没机会再婚 妈
I'm sorry you never got remarried, Mum.
我很抱歉你必须一个人承担所有事
I'm sorry you had to do everything by yourself.
点心 我们还没准备点心呢
Nibbles. We haven't got any...nibbles.
我正在经历的一切让我意识到
And everything I'm going through has made me realise
这一切对你是多么困难
how hard it must have been for you.
换个话题吧 老黄历了
Change the subject. Ancient history.
-我一直在考虑婚礼的事 -然后呢
- I've been thinking about the wedding and... - Yeah?
我只是觉得爸来了会很怪的
..I just think it'd be weird for Dad to be there.
他已经不是我们生命中的一部分了
He's not been involved in any part of our lives.
他还是你父亲
Oh, well, he's still your father.
这话什么意思 妈 你就是我们的父母
What does that mean? Mum, you're our parents.
我不想让他来
I don't want him to come.
我觉得应该顺着露西的心意来
I think Lucy should get what she wants.
成长的一部分就是不能得偿所愿
Well, part of growing up is not getting what you want.
这话不是真的
That's not true.
我去开
I'll get it.
-露西 -什么
- Lucy? - What?!