错乱人生（2020）

我们不能这样对玛丽
We can't do that to Marie.
我们必须当个成年人
We have to be the adults.
忘带钥匙了吗
Forget your keys?
莎拉是来向玛丽解释一个女人的选择权的
Sara's here to explain a woman's right to choose to Marie.
我们不能等到她长大以后吗
Right. Can we not wait until she's, you know, grown-up enough?
我已经长得很大了 谢谢你
I am grown-up enough, thank you.
她在她的小屋里
She's in her den.
-你在做饭吗 -即食汤而已
- You been cooking? - Just Cup a Soups.
是面粉突袭我
The flour jumped out at me.
我可以起诉你们
I... I have a good mind to sue.
真的非常抱歉
I really am very sorry.
不说别的 我失去了信心
I've lost confidence, if anything.
你们和我保证过会专业
I was promised you'd be professional,
会低调行事
that you'd be discreet.
如果你愿意现在给我看的话
If you'd like to show me now,
我们就可以继续进行检查
we can move forward with the examination.
-我的生殖器并不好笑 -当然不
- My penis is not a laughing matter. - Of course.
这种怕被女人取笑的恐惧 快毁了我的生活
It's ruining my life, this fear of women ridiculing me.
-让我看一眼 -指指点点 然后大笑
- Let me have a look. - Pointing and guffawing.
我不敢去约会 不能交女朋友
I don't dare date. I can't have a girlfriend.
我就看一下 然后剩下的事情我们再说
I'll take a quick peek and then we can take it from there.
脸在前面
The face is at the front.
还真是
So it is.
你想喝点什么吗 即食汤怎么样
Would you like a drink? A Cup a Soup?
有烈酒吗
Got any hard liquor?
他们还专门做给小孩用的 真可爱
It's so sweet they make these for kids.
我要这个吧 谢谢
I'll have that one, thank you.
这对你来说是一个重大的责任
This is a big responsibility for you.
你知道我有一些疑问
You understand I have some questions.
是的
Yes.
为什么我的妈咪不想让我来这个世上
Why did my mummy not want me to be here?
在无数个男朋友之前
Before all the boyfriends,
第一个离开她的男人是爸爸
the first man to leave her was Dad.
没错 在她心情很抑郁的时候
And, yes, while she was very depressed,
她说过一些沉重的话
she said some things.
我以前跟她说 "来到这个世上
I used to tell her, "I'm so sorry
毁了你的一切 真的很对不起"
I came along and ruined everything."
我的确很抱歉
And I was sorry.
我是一个不速之客
I'm a gate-crasher.
我并没有被邀请
I wasn't invited.
但是玛丽 你妈妈非常地想要你
But, Marie, your mum wanted you very much.
她的确很爱我
She does love me a lot.
没错
She does.
但是你说她想要打掉
But you said she wanted to get rid of...
不 我很抱歉被你听见
No, I'm very sorry that you heard that
我不应该那样说的
and I was very wrong to have said it.
这件事从头到尾都不是针对你
This was never about you.
你妈妈
Your mum was...
这是关于你的爸爸
It was about your dad.
他怎么了
What about him?
他不是一个好人
He's not a very nice person.
他是好人
Yes, he is.
他对露西不太好
He wasn't very nice to Lucy.
-怎么不好 -他和她鬼混 对她说谎
- How? - He messed her about. He lied.
我让她离他远点 删掉他的号♥码
I told her to stay away and delete his number,
但是她老是喝得大醉 然后发臀照给他看
but she kept getting drunk and texting him photos of her arse.
你应该跟我讲这些吗
Should you be telling me this?
大概不应该
Probably not.
我不想让你给我做手术
I don't want you to do the operation.
我觉得这是正确的选择
I think that's the right decision.
从实际作用来说 你的生殖器
You know, for all practical purposes, your penis...
我想让别人来做
I want somebody else to do it.
-我能实话实说吗 -不行
- Look, can I be honest? - No.
只是 我怀了个男孩
Just, like... Like, I'm having a boy.
我体内孕育着一个小男孩
I'm growing a boy inside me and,
自从我知道这件事后
ever since I've known that, I...
你好像不太专业
You're not very professional, are you?
我总是担心世界会如何对待我的儿子
I just keep worrying about how the world will treat my son.
告诉他不要有感情 像个男子汉一样
Telling him not to have feelings, or to man up.
会看地图 去打仗
Read a map. Go to war.
-是你伤害了我 -我知道 我知道
- You hurt my feelings. - I know. I know I did
我非常非常抱歉 我想帮助你
and I am so, so sorry, and I want to help you.
新想法
New idea.
和我约会
Go on a date with me.
我结婚了
I'm married.
和你在一起我不会那么紧张
But I won't be as nervous with you
因为你已经看过了
because you've seen it before.
我不愿意
I don't want to.
要不
What if
我先把照片发给潜在的恋人
I send prospective lovers a picture first?
-不行 -让她们有个心理准备 也许能行
- Oh, no. - So they're warned. That might work.
不 不可以那样
No, you shouldn't do that.
我没主意了
Well, I'm fresh out of ideas.
你曾是一个小婴儿 是某个妈咪的儿子
You were once a little baby, like some Mummy's son.
所以呢
So?
她肯定觉得你是完美的
Well, I bet she thought that you were completely perfect.
那无关紧要 我母亲喜欢老鼠
That's irrelevant. Mother liked mice.
她爱的是你
She loved you.
天啊 我想到了
Oh, God... I've got it. Right.
我们再试一个办法 如果不行
OK, we'll try one more thing and, if it doesn't work,
我就让其他同事来做手术
I'll get another colleague to do the operation...
-不 谢谢 -免费 免费 作为补偿
- No, thank you. - For free. For free, as an apology.
什么办法
What's the plan?
我给你找个约会对象
I'm going to find you a date,
一个可以激发你自信的人
someone to boost your confidence.
如果她不
And if she doesn't...?
绝对
Yeah, absolutely.
我答应你
You're on.
是这样的
OK, here's the thing.
我们的父母比我们先存在 虽然那是不可能的
Our parents exist before we do, even though that's impossible.
在我们到达剧院之前 戏剧怎么会开始呢
How can the play start before we get to the theatre?
我们体会不到的事情是不存在的
Nothing exists before we are here to experience it,
然而我们又自带背景故事
yet we inherit this backstory.
我才八岁
I'm eight.
好吧
Ok.
小猪佩奇有妈妈和爸爸
Peppa Pig has Mum and Dad.
不要对我居高临下
No need to patronise me.
好吧 这不是你的破事 所以你不需要操心
OK. This isn't your bullshit and you shouldn't have to carry it.
你的妈妈和一个在推特上被她频繁转发
Your mum got pregnant because she forgot to use a condom
所以拉黑她的男人在一起时
with a guy who blocked her on Twitter
忘记用安全套所以怀孕了
because she retweeted him too much
她必须决定是否要让这个男人
and she had to decide whether she wanted to
永远留在她的生活里 其实她是不想的
have that man in her life forever, which, in fact, she didn't,
但是她非常地想要你
but she really wanted you and...
玛丽 玛丽
Marie. Marie!
这很振奋人心的
This is very uplifting.
我的心好痛
My heart hurts.
对不起 我犯傻♥逼♥了
Sorry, I fucked it up.
请不要讲脏话
Please don't swear.
还有 我喝醉了
Also, I'm drunk.
你知道吗 你就像个蛋
Did you know? You're like an egg.
没错
Yes.
大部分哺乳动物只需要一个家长
You see, most mammals don't need more than one parent.
雌性怀孕 分娩
The female gestates, gives birth,
泌乳 喂养 养育它的幼崽
lactates, feeds and raises her young
直到它们可以自力更生
until they can fend for themselves.
雄性家长的参与
The male's input into parenting
只有射♥精♥
consists solely of an ejaculation.
几百万年来
For millions of years,
我们的男性祖先没有养育他们的孩子
our forefathers didn't raise their children.