错乱人生（2020）

我想要我妈妈
I want my mum.
这不公平
It's just not fair...
成为别人的妈妈 而...
..to be somebody else's when...
谁来当我的妈妈啊
..who's going to be mine?
我倒是想把我妈让给你 但...
I would offer you mine, but...
放开
Get off!
操蛋的孩子
Fucking kids!
一颗未受精的卵子出现在子♥宫♥
An unfertilised ovum arrives at the uterus,
引起孕酮素减少
triggering a decrease in progesterone.
努力都白费了
The work has been in vain.
子♥宫♥内膜这种东西
The endometrial lining,
本来可以支撑早期胚胎的生长发育
which would have supported the early foetal growth,
在接下来的几天里则会脱落
will now be shed over the next few days.
对某些人来说 来月经会让她们松一口气
For some people, getting their period is a relief.
真♥他♥妈♥是谢天谢地了
Thank fuck for that!
但对另一些人来说 却是失败和失望
For others, it is a loss and a disappointment.
对于二者之间的人 则是...
For everyone in between, it is a...
真♥他♥妈♥太麻烦了
Bloody inconvenience!
上午9:45
剩余时间:15分钟
还需消费:98.36英镑
那些孕妇都没有卫生棉条
None of these pregnant women has a tampon.
-你有吗 -所以呢
- Do you? - So?
-你有卫生棉条吗 -我早就不用了
- Do you have one? - I stopped using them.
-我现在用卫生杯 -能借我用下吗
- I use a Mooncup. - Can I borrow it?
放进我体内了
It's inside me.
不 等等
Oh, no, wait.
玛丽称之为她的小美人鱼
Marie calls it her mermaid.
抱歉了 小美人鱼
Sorry, mermaid.
不客气
You're welcome!
来杯大杯百加得酒
Large Bacardi, please!
想到子♥宫♥内膜逐渐变厚 卵子在到处游动
Thinking about the thickening lining and the little travelling egg
帮助我理解了情感这种东西
helps me make sense of the emotion.
我总能感受到压得我喘不过气的悲伤
I get this crushing sadness always.
我的身体知道我一些不知道的事
My body knows something I don't,
它在哀悼我在不知道的情况下做出的那些选择
is mourning the choices I have made without it.
那种悲伤并不是真实的 但我还是会感受到
The sadness isn't real, except I still have to feel it.
我从来就不想要孩子
I have never wanted a baby.
大家都对我说"等你年纪大些 想法就会变了"
"Oh, you'll change your mind when you're older," people said.
现在我年纪大些了 大家都觉得我肯定很后悔
And now I am older, and people assume I must be sorry,
但我并不后悔
but I'm not.
我才是我人生的主角
I am the main character.
我为什么要放弃当主角 选择当配角呢
Why would I give that up for a supporting role?
-你知道婚礼的事吗 -我每天都要听你念叨
- You know the wedding? - I've heard of it, every day,
自从他求婚后就如此
ever since he proposed, yes.
你的参加 是很重要的
It's so important to me that you are a part of it.
那正是你不明白的点 莎拉
That's what you're not getting, Sar.
你作为伴郎和我一起站在前面
You being best man at the front with me
比鲜花 婚纱什么的都重要
is more important than flowers or dresses
比能不能找到出色的罗比·威廉姆斯模仿者也重要
or just whether we get a good Robbie Williams impersonator.
每个女孩都会做美梦
Every girl dreams.
我的确喜欢站在前面
I do like being up at the front.
所以你又同意参加了吗
So, you're back in?
仔细想想 伴郎其实是主角
Best man is the main character, when you think about it.
那是婚礼的主要部分啊
It's the main part of the wedding.
不是
No.
新娘才是主要部分
Bride is the main part.
新娘
Bride.
为什么人人都会不断有各种需求呢
Why does everyone keep having needs?
那我不想考虑别人需求的这种需求呢
What about my need to not consider anybody else's needs?
呸
Boo!
只有鬼才说"呸"
Boo is what ghosts say.
上午10:06
超支186英镑
派对的结束是为了让下一场派对开始
The party only ends so that another party can start,
周而复始 每隔几周就来一次
over and over, every few weeks,
直到有一天 派对彻底结束
until, one day, the parties are finished forever.
别对着我说这种话
Don't come to me as you say that.
我又没绝经
I'm not menopausal.
意识超越物质
Mind over matter.
天呐
Oh, God.
我怎么这么醉
Why am I so drunk?
现在是早上啊
It's the morning.
我知道是我的荷尔蒙作祟 因为我早上8点就喝酒
I know it's my hormones and because I drank at 8am.
但我没哭
But I'm not crying.
是我的身体或别的什么在哭
My body is or something.
是因为雌激素和孕酮素过低
Low oestrogen and progesterone.
-酒精含量却过高 -是啊
- And high Bacardi. - Yeah.
如果你想活着 却没那个机会 对不起
I'm sorry if you wanted to be alive, and you never got the chance.
如果你觉得我很自私 对不起
I'm sorry if you think I'm really selfish.
我不是来评判你的
I'm not here to judge you.
我根本就不存在
I'm not here at all.
我不后悔 但那并不代表我不在意
I don't regret it. That doesn't mean I don't care.
即使不后悔 也可以有别的感觉 你明白吗
You can feel stuff without regretting it, you know?
我不明白
I don't know.
最后五分钟 玛丽
Five minutes, Marie.
我觉得一个小人在另一个人的肚子里成长真的很怪
I find it so weird, all those people growing people inside them.
想象下它们在你的子♥宫♥里长出牙
Imagine making teeth in your womb.
你怀孕的时候有没有想过 露西
Do you ever think about when you got pregnant, Luce?
你有没有想过相反的选择
Do you ever wonder about the opposite?
你没事吧
Are you all right?
如果我当妈了 而你却堕胎了
If I'd been a mum and you'd got your abortion...
天呐 那太可怕了
Oh, my God, that is too horrible.
那就会有另外一个孩子存在
..and then there would have been this other person around.
你就会除掉玛丽
And you were going to get rid of Marie,
尽管我知道她还没有长成玛丽
and even though I know she wasn't Marie yet,
那我们就永远不会认识玛丽
and then we would never have known Marie.
玛丽肯定会...
Marie was always going...
你为什么要除掉我
Why were you going to get rid of me?