父母债后辈偿

Indebted S01E09

Part 2 April 19, 2020, 10:16 a.m.

I was scarred by the whole experience.
那是我这辈子经历的最糟糕的一个星期二
That was the worst Tuesday of my life.
拜托你竟然还记得那天是星期几吗
Oh, come on. You remember the day of the week?
我怎么可能忘记
How could I forget?
你跑出去大喊大叫 "我的眼睛我的眼睛
You ran out yelling, "My eyes! My eyes!
周二夹饼日永远取消了"
Taco Tuesday is cancelled forever!"
从那以后你再也没做过手撕肉了
And you never made your carnitas again.
或许是因为你严重误会我了
Maybe because there's been a big misunderstanding.
我参加过同志骄傲游♥行♥
I mean I marched in the Pride Parade.
我还穿了一件网眼背心老天啊
I wore a-a mesh tank top, for God's sakes.
但那是在我出柜之后
But that was after I came out.
而你撞破我们都是15年前的事了
You walked in on me 15 years ago.
也许那时你的思想比较保守
Maybe you were more closed-minded then.
我唯一思想保守的地方
The only time I've been closed-minded
就是巧克力鹰嘴豆泥的做法
is about chocolate hummus.
应该用中东芝麻酱和鹰嘴豆来做
Hummus should be between tahini and a chickpea.
要让我原谅你
In order to forgive you,
你必须承认你是个老顽固
I'm gonna need you to acknowledge that you used to be a bigot.
我从来就不是老顽固
I've never been a bigot!
在同性恋流行起来前我就爱这个群体了
I've loved the gays since before it was the thing.
?我以前经常听凯蒂莲的专辑
?Oh, I used to play that K.D. Lang album all the time!
我超爱的
I loved it!
夸张了是喜欢
Well, I liked it.
我就喜欢其中一首歌♥
I liked that one song.
知道吗我一直在想着
You know, I have been thinking
你妈妈说的关于我们性生活的那番话
about what your mom said about our sex life.
是吗我在尽量控制自己不去想
Really? Because I've been trying not to think about it at all.
问题是人的性♥欲♥犹如潮水有涨有落
The thing is people's sex drives ebb and flow.
-这很正常 -没错
- It's natural. - ?Oh, yeah.
宝贝没什么好可耻的
Babe, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
我知道你最近很累
I know how tired you get.
等等
Wait.
你是在说我的性♥欲♥衰退了吗
Are-Are you saying my sex drive has ebbed?
不是你自己说的
No, that's what -- ?that's what you were saying.
再次重申我觉得你特别勇敢
And again, I think it's incredibly brave.
不勇敢的人是你
No, you're the one being brave.
什么你觉得是我性♥欲♥衰退了
What? You think mine has ebbed?
那简直是胡扯
That's simply not true.
我可是随时随地都想和你云雨一番
I mean, I'm always trying to get with you, girl.
行吧凌晨两点我实在没性趣抱歉了
Okay, well, sorry if I'm not interested at 2:00 a.m.
毕竟那时候我们刚看完恐怖的"悬案"
after we just finished a horrifying "Unsolved Mystery."
我想做的时候你从来都没性趣
And you never want to do it when I initiate.
我对你一直都性趣不减
I'm always trying to flow with you.
那丹娜和克里斯托弗的婚礼那次呢
What about after ?Dana and Kristoff's wedding,
在他们分享感人誓言的时候
when they shared those emotional vows?
我当时欲♥火♥焚身
I was all riled up!
但我没有啊
Yeah, well, I wasn't.
他们说的是特别希望能有父母在场见证
Their vows were about how they wished their parents were there.
他们双方的父母都死了
All of their parents are dead.
所以我脑子在想两对死去的父母
So I was thinking about four dead parents!
我... 我们到底在吵什么
I just -- I -- What are we even fighting about?
我真不敢相信
I can't believe
你觉得我们糟糕的性生活是我的错
you think our terrible sex life is my fault.
我才不敢相信你觉得我们的性生活很糟糕
I can't believe you think our sex life is terrible.
不管怎样它的确退潮了
I mean it's pretty ebbed up.
难道你对一个季度做一次爱很满意吗
Are you happy with getting laid quarterly?
不你用上经济术语这么一说当然不满意
I mean, no, not when you put it in financial terms, no.
但退潮的人不是我
But I am not the ebber!
也不是我
And neither am I!
你为什么又躺床上去了
Well, why are you in bed?
我们不是要去健身房♥的吗
I thought we were going to the gym.
因为我中午吃的奶酪鸡
Because I had chicken parm for lunch
一直在反胃
and it's repeating on me
我也不喜欢面对你又要吵架
and I don't like confrontation,
所以睡觉似乎是最佳的处理方式
so this seems like the best way to handle it!
昨晚怎么样啊
So, how was last night?
久旱逢甘霖一起寻欢了吗
Did you moisten your dry spell and have a little pleasure?
与你无关
It's none of your business.
与我无关
None of my business?
也就是没有咯
That means no.
到底是有什么问题啊
What is the problem here?
是因为丽贝卡用的天然除臭剂
Is it because Rebecca wears a natural deodorant
效果没那么好吗
that doesn't really work that well?
还是你忽视了修指甲
Or you neglect your manicure?
还是你用医学术语来描述你的私处
Or you use clinical terms for your privates?
你为什么就认为问题在我身上呢
Why do you assume I'm the problem?
我明白了
I see.
是因为大卫跟他妈一样
Is it because Dave is a real Mr. Mom
把家务活儿全包了
and does absolutely everything around the house
你觉得这样一点男性魅力都没有吗
and you find that unattractive?
得了吧那绝对不是问题所在
Yeah, that's definitely not the problem.
我知道问题在哪儿了
Oh, I see the problem.
婚姻紧张
Marital tension.
我们的婚姻绝对没有紧张氛围
There is no tension in our marriage.
唯一的紧张氛围就是你
If there's any tension here, it's you.
天呐
Oh, my God!
就是这原因是因为你
That's it! It's you!
我们的性♥爱♥退潮了都是因为你
We're ebbing because of you!
苏西·波拉克的脚也"退化"成蹼状了
You know, Susie Polack had ebbed feet,
她现在只能穿角斗士鞋了
and she could only wear gladiator sandals.
但是她游泳的时候太快了
But what a little swimmer.
什么
What?!
你在跟谁说话呢
Wha-- Who are you talking to?!
我真不敢相信我们竟然责怪彼此
I-I-I can't believe we blamed each other.
在你父母搬来前这里简直是个性♥爱♥工厂
Before your parents moved in here, this was a flow factory!
就是啊我们简直如胶似漆无法分离
Yeah, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.
说什么呢
Excuse moi?
你们缺乏性♥爱♥乐趣责任可不在我身上
I am not responsible for your lack of pleasure.
但是跟家人共同住在一栋房♥子里
But sharing a wall with your family
可不是最让人"性福"的生活方式
is not exactly the sexiest way to live.
好吧或许你说得有道理
Well, maybe you have a point.
自从我们搬过来后
I mean, since we moved in,
斯图每周只给我的小花"浇水"四五次
Stew has only watered my flower maybe four, five times a week.
等等
Wait.
每周
A week?!
真花都不需要那么多水
Real flowers don't need that much water.
你知道我妈就爱说谎对吧
You know my mom's a liar, right?
没人可以一周做♥爱♥四五次
No one can have sex five times in a week.
那是不可能的谁能做到呢
It can't be done. I mean, who would do that?
我们就可以啊比如当年刚交往的时候
I mean, us, when we first started dating.
我们还在那家卡拉OK酒吧做过爱呢
We had sex at that karaoke bar.
抱歉
Well, I'm sorry.
如果你不想被治愈就别选《性♥爱♥治愈》那首歌♥
Don't select "Sexual Healing" ff you don't want to be cured.
好吧我承认我们近期的性生活是变少了
Okay, so, we're not having that much sex lately,
但是我们是可以改变这点的
but, I mean, we can change that.
你知道什么很有趣味吗
You know what was fun?
想当年
Back in the day,
我们经常互发下流的调情短♥信♥
when we used to send each other those flirty text messages.
对哦
Oh, yeah.
你用你的诺基亚我用我的摩托罗拉
You on your T-Mobile Sidekick and me on my RAZR phone.
当时可真是性趣满满啊
Oh, what a sexy time to be alive.
是啊其实我们可以重返那个时代
Yeah. And we could get back there.
-是吗 -知道吗
- Yeah? - ?You know?
明天你和我我们要发一整天的性♥爱♥短♥信♥
Tomorrow, you and me -- we're sexting all day.
我们要用这种方式找回性趣
That's how we're gonna get our flow back.
性♥爱♥短♥信♥马拉松啊
Marathon sext session.
没错
That's right.
你最好小心点
You better be careful,
因为我们的短♥信♥流量就快用完了
'cause we're almost over our data limit,
这个月才过到一半呢
and it's only the 15th of the month.
你这种调情话可以留到发短♥信♥时再说