父母债后辈偿

Indebted S01E01

Part 1 April 5, 2020, 4:50 p.m.

快乐
Joy.
快乐
Joy.
更快乐
More joy.
全部的快乐
All the joy.
大卫我们要扔掉的是
Okay, Dave, we're supposed to be throwing out
不能给你带来快乐的东西
whatever doesn't spark joy.
你真的需要这部旧黑莓手♥机♥吗
Do you really need your old BlackBerry?
我的天当然
My God. Yes!
我第一次给你发短♥信♥就是用的它
This is the first thing I texted you on.
它会让我想起你
It reminds me of you.
嘴真甜
That's so sweet.
但不应该是我本人让你想起我吗
But shouldn't I remind you of me?
老实说你让我想起这部手♥机♥
Honestly, you remind me of the phone.
那好吧行留着吧
All right, fine. Keep it,
但其它的东西必须丢掉
but everything else must go.
要把这些东西丢掉实在是让人不忍♥心
It's just so hard to get rid of this stuff, you know?
你看这双小乔丹鞋
I mean, look at these tiny Jordans.
这是亚希的第一双鞋
These were Asher's first shoes.
是啊我知道
Yeah, I know.
但是他从来都没穿过
But he never wore them
因为新生儿不会走路也不会灌篮
because newborns can't walk or dunk.
总有一天会的
He will one day.
我犯规了
I got fouled.
我是认真的
I am serious,
我们终于不用活在小婴儿的阴影下了
we are finally out of the fog of having tiny kids.
不再有婴儿车不再有抱抱托不再有奶嘴
No more strollers, no more Baby Bjorns, no more pacifiers.
我们的生活和房♥子终于又属于我们自己了
We are getting our life and home back.
家里的每一个柜子都是空荡荡的
I mean, every closet in this house is totally empty!
这让我性致大发是不是很怪
Is it weird that makes me horny?
只要让你有性致随便什么方法都行
I support however we get there.
各位你们家车道上有好多免费的东西
Dude, there is so much free stuff by your driveway.
你们快去看看
You gotta check it out.
我刚捡到这个狗狗抱抱托
I just got this dope doggie bjorn
还有一大包狗狗奶嘴
and a sack full of dog pacifiers.
乔安娜那是我们的东西我们准备丢掉
Joanna, that's our stuff. We're getting rid of it.
他小时候也制♥造♥了这么多垃圾吗
Did he have this much crap growing up?
不他可比这多多了
No, he had way more.
不管他想要什么我爸妈就给他买♥♥
Our parents gave him everything he ever wanted.
大卫的豆豆娃藏品是康涅狄格州最多的
Dave had the biggest Beanie Baby collection in Connecticut.
我还上新闻了
I was on the news.
他一直以来都是父母偏爱的那个
Look, he's just always been the favorite,
我已经安心接受了
and I've made peace with it.
绝对不是这样的
That is so not true.
嗨我最爱的儿子
Hi, number one son.
你们好女士们
Hi, ladies.
抱歉我们迟到了
I'm sorry that we're late,
但是我们在车道上的售卖♥♥处逗留了一下
but we stopped by an estate sale in your driveway.
我捡到了一大摞V领衫
I got tons of deep V-necks.
我能穿出风采的
I'll make it work.
大家快停下
Okay, everyone please stop
-不要再把垃圾拿回来了 -没错
- bringing our trash back in our house. - Yeah.
保持柜子空荡荡的对我来说"鸡"其重要
It is extremely important to me that all of the closets stay empty.
我们带了你最爱的酒
We brought you your favorite bottle of wine.
不是吧谁死了
No. Who died?
是我认识的表亲还是不认识的
Is it a cousin I know or I don't know?
你不认识是你的表哥阿维
Don't know. Was your cousin Avi.
但这次不是为了说这件事
But that's not the news.
我们破产了
We're dead broke.
她夸张了但是我们的确欠了一屁♥股♥债
She's exaggerating, but yes, we are drowning in debt.
什么
What?
这怎么可能
How is that possible?
我的成人礼请了嘻哈组合克里斯克罗斯
I mean, I had Kris Kross
以及单口喜剧大♥师♥大卫·克罗斯
and David Cross at my Bar Mitzvah.
等等你们不是才从卡波回来吗
Wait, didn't you just get back from Cabo?
是啊没错
Yeah, we did.
阿迪尔曼一家让我们用他们的分时度假
The Adilmans let us use their time share
作为教他们用推特的回馈
in exchange for us teaching them how to use the tweeter.
我们能先说重点吗
Can we just focus on what's important?
你们怎么就没钱了
How are you out of money?
我们没有医疗保险
Well, we didn't have health insurance,
你妈几个月前做的膝盖手术可不便宜
and your mom's knee surgery a few months back was not cheap.
我的「如你所见」电视购物的生意
My "As Seen on TV" business has been down
从没了可穿式毯子的客户后就一落千丈
ever since I lost the slanket account.
最惨的是可食杯垫又不能自己把自己卖♥♥出去
And sadly, edible coasters don't sell themselves.
所以你们决定用来省钱的方法就是
So you decided the place to save money
60多岁不买♥♥医疗保险
was cutting health care in your 60s?
60岁整而已
60.
我知道这听起来很疯狂但是保险太贵了
Look, I know it sounds crazy, but insurance is very expensive,
我们把自己照顾得可好了
and we take excellent care of ourselves.
你♥爸♥爸都开始不吃红肉了
Daddy just stopped eating red meat.
我现在主要吃杯垫
I'm mostly eating coasters now.
我每周和苏珊·帕瑟骑两次动感单车
And I spin twice a week with Susan Pyser,
但好像过量了因为我把前十字韧带拉伤了
but I guess it was too much because I tore my ACL.
我骑过度了
I overspun.
-你骑过度了 -我骑过度了
- You overspun. - I overspun.
-她骑过度了 -谁能想到呢
- She overspun. - ?Who knew?
我啊各位
Me! Hi!
我跟你说了无数遍了
I told you, like, all the time!
没有存在感的鬼就是这种感觉吗
Is this how ghosts feel?
这事...这是件大事
This is, this is a lot.
我知道压力山大
I know. So stressful.
所以我们才去了卡波放松减压
That's why we went to Cabo.
多美好的时光
What a time.
不敢相信这么长时间以来你们都没有钱
I can't believe all this time you've had no money.
就是啊你们应该如实告诉我们的
Yeah, you should have just told us the truth.
还记得你是同性恋这事你骗了我们多久吗
Remember how you lied to us about being gay for so long?
你是说我没出柜的那段时期吗
You mean when I was in the closet?
是的
Yes.
你为什么不坦诚告诉我们
Now, why didn't you just tell us?
因为我不自在又害怕又迷茫
Because I was uncomfortable and scared and confused.
正是我们也一样
Exactly. Like us.
我们破产这事要出柜了
And so now we're coming out as broke.
我们来了破产了赶紧习惯吧
We're here, we're broke, get used to it.
这压根不是一回事
This is not the same situation!
一切都会好的
E-Everything's gonna be fine.
我们会削减开支在失去房♥子前把它卖♥♥掉
We're gonna downsize and sell the house before we lose it.
没错我们打算让大卫把我们的房♥子
Yeah, we're hoping Davey'll renovate our house
重新装♥修♥得像你们的一样漂亮
as beautifully as he did yours
然后我们就能以双倍价钱出♥售♥了
and then we can sell it for double.
你天赋奇才
You're insanely talented.
大家都这么说
Everyone's talking about it.
但何必浪费时间和金钱装♥修♥
But why spend the time and the money?
把房♥子一卖♥♥ 拿到现金
I mean, sell the house. Cash out.
那房♥子贷款早就还清了啊
It's already paid off.
本来是还清了
Was paid off.
-不是吧 -是的
- Oh, no. - Oh, yes.
几年前我们又把房♥子拿去抵押贷款了
A few years ago, we pulled out equity
拿钱去非洲玩了一趟
to pay for that trip to Africa.
那里太美了
Beautiful continent. ?
那里是一切开始的地方
It's where it all began.
人类的发源地也是我们经济灾难的起源
Humanity and our financial woes.
不过购物体验和我想象的不一样
Yeah, shopping wasn't what I expected it to be.
我们买♥♥了一点东西一些珠宝
We bought a few things, I mean, some jewelry,
几样精选珠宝
just a few choice pieces.
我买♥♥了一支长矛那东西可能闹鬼
I got a spear. It might be haunted.
好吧明白了
Okay, well,
你们要升级下房♥子才能赚点钱
you're gonna have to upgrade the house to make a profit.
我会和我的团队说说尽快重新装♥修♥
So I will talk to my crew about renovating it quickly.
太棒了
Oh, that's amazing.
在装♥修♥期间
And while you're doing the reno,