糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S03E11

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2021, 1:52 p.m.

For his main course, Bart has prepared a spicy pirate stew.
这叫"大杂烩" 大伙尝尝吧
It's called salmagundi. Dig in, fellas, dig in.
-味道很特别 -里面都有什么
- Unusual taste combination. - What's in it?
猪肉鸡肉鸭肉鸽子肉
You got your pork, chicken, duck, pigeon,
鲸鱼海鸥海豚
er, your whale, your seagull, your dolphin.
海盗确实吃这些东西
我还纳闷它去哪儿了呢
I wondered where he'd got to.
航海途中我们一直生着火
Yeah, we just keep the stew boiling away throughout the voyage
把能够找到的一切肉类扔到锅里炖
and throw in any meat we lay our hands on.
你是说这里面有些肉
Do you mean to tell me that some of the meat in there
已经炖了几个星期
has been stewing away for weeks?
不有几个月了
No, no. Months.
约翰给我点水我得把这味道冲走
John, get me some water to get the taste out.
可以给我们点水吗
Can we get some water, please?
你在干吗
What are you doing?
巴特你在干吗
Bart, what are you doing?
竟然这样
Oh, that's happened.
在海盗船上如果水用完了
Well, when you run out of water on a pirate ship,
要么喝尿要么渴死
it's drink wee or die.
不过有些水手喝了尿也死了
Mind you, some of my shipmates drank wee and died.
有些疯了但我没有
And some went mad. Hurrgh! Not me though, no.
我可不喝你的尿老兄
I'm not going to drink your wee, mate.
这就是说我没通过吗
Does this mean I've not got through?
巴特你完全绝对不可能通...
Bart, not in a million, billion years have you got...
恭喜你通过了
Congratulations, you are
顺利进入下一轮比赛干得不错
through to the next round. Well done, mate.
好消息
That's wonderful news!
干杯
Cheers!
肯定是饥不择食才吃老鼠吧
You'd have to be pretty hungry to eat a rat.
除非你是一只跳蚤
Unless, of course...ow! ..You were a flea.
打住马库斯
Stop it, Marcus.
除了奇怪的饮食习惯
As well as some strange eating habits,
海盗还有极其怪诞的迷信
pirates had some truly bizarre superstitions.
够了
Enough already!
盐胡船长播送《海盗天气预报》
Pirate weather forecast with Captain Saltybeard.
大家好欢迎收看《海盗天气预报》
Ahoy my hearties, and welcome to the pirate weather forecast,
用最新的海盗迷信预测天气
predicting the weather using the very latest pirate superstitions.
今天一只黑猫出现在船上
Now a black cat was seen on a boat today,
因此明天将是干燥晴朗的天气
so tomorrow should be dry and sunny.
但如果某个卑鄙无赖把黑猫扔出船外
Unless some scurvy land-lubbing knave has thrown that black cat out of the ship,
明天就会刮风下雨
in which case there will be wind and rain.
但如果你能看到信天翁就不会刮风下雨
Though not if you can see an albatross!
而是气温宜人的晴朗天气
Because if you can, it'll be lovely and sunny.
除非某个废物将其射落
Unless some weevil-eyed bilge for brain shoots it out of the sky!
那就会引起雷鸣闪电冰雹
As that'll cause thunder and lightning and a storm of hail stones,
这会使得航行有点艰难
which could make for a bit of a rough voyage.
你会晕船晕得厉害就像我的鹦鹉一样
You'll be as sick as a parrot! As was my parrot.
让我们看看本周接下来的几天
Looking ahead for the rest of the week,
如果你打算星期五出航千万不要
if you're sailing on Friday, don't.
这天邪恶的巫婆集♥会♥ 所以不吉利
That's unlucky, it's when evil witches gather!
记住如果你在公海
And remember, if you're out on the high seas,
那么请当心海盗
then do please watch out for pirates.
因为我们会来抢你们的晚安
Cos we're coming to get ya! Good night.
邪恶的维多利亚时代
贫穷的维多利亚人为了赚钱
Some of the things poor Victorians did for money
做了不少糟糕的事日安
were pretty horrible to say the least. Good day.
维多利亚版
东伦敦人
回来得真早今天工作怎么样
You're home early, how was your day at work?
不错妈妈没什么好抱怨的
Yeah, not bad, Mummy. Mustn't grumble, mustn't grumble.
闻起来你好像
It smells like you collected
为制革坊拾到了足够的便便
enough dog poo for the leather tanner.
是的然后老板叫我搅拌桶里的便便
Yeah, and then the boss told me to stir all the poo in the tub.
维多利亚时期有些孩子的确拾过便便
看来你被重用了
Oh, you're moving up in the world!
不久他就会给你发工资的
Before you know it, he'll be paying you as well.
天想想就觉得开心
Cor, imagine!
孩子们好妈妈在这里过来
Hello kids! Oh, there she is! Come here, you.
他爸真是的我今天刚刚洗过这件外套
Father, really! I've only just washed this outfit today.
抱歉但今晚有值得我们庆祝的事
All right, sorry. But tonight we have something to celebrate.
快看这个
Feast your mince pies on this.
那是一把便便
It's a handful of poo.
是但如果你仔细看看这是...
Well, yeah. But look closer and...
-一个便士 -真聪明
- Wow, a penny! - Oh, ain't you clever!
你老爸四处转悠
Your old man has been out toshing.
在充满便便的下水道里
There I was traipsing my way
走了很远很远
through mile after mile of poo-filled sewer,
寻找伦敦有钱人掉到便便里的硬币
looking for coins that had been dropped by the posh people in London,
维多利亚时代有些穷♥人♥确实干过这种事
突然有一枚硬币
when suddenly there it was,
在黑暗中对着我闪闪发亮
glinting away at me in the darkness.
白天工作那么辛苦
Well, after that hard day's work,
你们俩都需要泡个热水澡放松一下
what you both need is a nice hot bath.
孩子他妈我爱的就是你的幽默感
That's what I love about you, Mother, your sense of humour!
-说得就像我们真有热水一样 -或浴缸
- As if we have hot water. - Or a bath.
还有其他的好消息
And that's not the only good news.
我找了份晚上的工作掏粪工
I've only gone and got myself an evening job, as a night soilman.
从现在起你老爸会每天晚上
From now on, your old man's going to spend his evenings
从别人的室外厕所掏出一筐筐的便便
collecting buckets of poo from other people's outside lavvies.
我爸当年还说你会一事无成
Oh, and to think my father told me not to marry you
不让我嫁给你
cos he said you'd never amount to anything!
维多利亚时期的确有这种工作
过来
Come here.
她醒了
Oh, hey up.
宝宝该换尿布了你来吧
Think her nappy needs changing. I think it must be your turn.
啥不行这太恶心了
What? No, no way. That is disgusting.
翻开便便找硬币始于1865年以后
The practice of toshing for coins was only possible after 1865
那时约瑟夫·巴泽尔杰特发明了伦敦污水管道系统
when Joseph Bazalgette invented the London sewer system,
我喜欢叫它 "家"
or as I like to call it, home.
在那之前的居住环境更是不堪回首
Before then, living conditions were even more unhealthy.
幸运的是维多利亚时代的医药很发达
Fortunately Victorian medicine was highly sophisticated.
才怪
Yeah, right.
别担心詹妮我已经叫了救护车
Don't worry, Jenny. I've called an ambulance,
他们很快就到了
they'll be here any minute.
-让开让开 -历史急救员
- Make way, make way, make way! - Historical paramedics.
你们是急救员
You're paramedics?
比那高级我们是历史急救员
Even better. We're historical paramedics.
从维多利亚时代的英格兰远道而来
all the way from Victorian England.
-天佑女王 -天佑女王
- God save the Queen! - God save the Queen!
有什么不适
Now what appears to be the ailment?
这是我妹妹我们从城里回来
It's my sister, we were coming back from town
她胃疼得厉害
and she has these terrible stomach pains.
你的想法是不是和我一样
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
-大礼帽太给力了 -是的但我说的不是这个
- That top hats are fabulous? - No. They are.
我想这位女士肚里有绦虫
I'm thinking that this lady has tapeworm.
我同意奈杰尔给我拿最锋利的刀片来
I concur. Nigel, fetch me our sharpest blade.
你要动手术
You need to operate?
不我只需要把培根切片
No. I simply need to cut up this bacon,
然后在病人旁边大火翻炒
and fry it in close proximity to the patient.
绦虫想吃培根所以用气味把它
The smell of the bacon should tempt the tapeworm out of her stomach
从胃里引诱出来然后她就痊愈了
because it wants to eat the bacon, thus curing her.
-这培根疗法有效吗 -很少成功
- And does this bacon cure work? - Infrequently.
-成功了几次 -零
- How infrequently? - Never.
杰夫快看
Jeff, look!
她喉部有红肿像是疖子
She has some inflammation above the throat, it looks like a boil.
同意
I concur.
奈杰尔给她敷热粥
Nigel, apply the warm porridge.
这不是疖子这是她天生的
It's not a boil. She's always had that.
都是真实的维多利亚疗法
那就是肉赘
A wart, then.
奈杰尔这位女士这个女人
Nigel, this lady, this woman,
满是肉赘
is riddled with warts.
立刻在土里埋些绳子
Bury some string in the ground immediately.
-不是肉赘是胎记 -是吗
- It's not a wart, it's a birth mark! - Is it?
等等我听见她在喘息并伴有鼻塞